The Dead of Night

His eyes opened.

The sound of crying rang out through the dead of night. It was loud. Too loud to be coming from the opposite end of the house. But then again, everything seemed louder in the dead of night.

Save for the light coming up through the hallway, it was almost pitch black. The dull light barely enough to make out the shape of her in bed next to him. He could feel her there however. Safe and warm with the duvet pulled up to her chin no doubt. Her knees tucked up and her hands finding warmth between her thighs as she slept.

He felt her begin to rouse.

He didn’t often wake during the night. Even when the baby was crying. So he figured he must have just been sleeping lightly tonight. His senses more aware of his surroundings than they usually are. And as she began to roll out of bed, he shut his eyes again. As he knew this was just going to be like any other night. The baby was hungry he thought. She would feed the baby. The baby would stop crying. She would come back to bed.

And with his eyes closed he listened as she left the room and fumbled her way down the hallway. He listened as the crying stopped. All that was left was the sound of his breathing. His chest rising and falling gently with each breath. He drifted back to sleep.

His eyes opened.

The sound of crying rand out through the dead of night. It was loud. Too loud to be coming from the opposite end of the house. But then again, everything seemed louder in the dead of night.

Save for the light coming up through the hallway, it was almost pitch black. The dull light barely enough to make out that she wasn’t in bed next to him.

He sat up and hit the home button on his phone which was laying on the side table next to his side of the bed. The screen came to life. The brightness both illuminating the room and momentarily blinding him at the same time. The numbers of the clock glowed. It was 2:09am.

He looked around the room. He was alone. As the glow from his phone began to fade back to black, he thought that she must already be down in the room trying to settle the baby once more. He lay back down and closed his eyes, trying to ignore the cries that continued to ring out.

He lay there for what felt like an eternity. The crying continued. It seemed to be getting louder and louder and louder. He sat up and clicked his phone back on. 2:09am. He stared at the clock with confusion. He was sure that the time should have changed. Something just didn’t quite feel right. The time. The fact that she wasn’t there when he woke up.

He slid his hand under the sheets where she would normally be sleeping. It was cold. It was as if she hadn’t been sleeping there most of the night. He swung his legs out of bed. The hair on his legs stood up as the cool air hit his bare skin. A shiver ran down his spine. The hair on the nape of his neck bristled.

He made his way to the bedroom door and looked down the hall at the door to the nursery at the other end of the house. It was sitting ajar. The dull light from the room sneaking through the crack and sailing up the hall to meet him.

“Is everything okay down there babe?” he called.

Nothing.

“Is everything okay? Can you hear me?”

Again, nothing.

He slowly made his way down the hallway to the nursery. As he placed his hand on the doorknob to open the door, the crying stopped. The house fell completely silent. He stood there. Not sure what to do. Not sure what had happened. His heart was beating faster and faster with each breath. He wasn’t sure if this was because he was scared of disturbing the baby, or if because he wasn’t sure what exactly had happened. He decided to proceed, if only to check on them both.

He pushed the door open. It lightly creaked. The dull light began to seep through more as the door opened wider and wider. He could make out the furniture in the room. The cot. The dresser. The change table. With the door open, he stepped into the nursery.

It was empty.

There was no sign of the baby, or his wife. He looked around both confused and at the same time wondering if this was all just a dream.

As he stood there, staring down at the empty cot, the sound of crying rang out through the dead of night again. Only this time, it was coming from their bedroom.

He slowly turned around and looked back at the room from which he just came. There was a dull light coming from the room. It was just enough light to be able to make out moving shadows as the crying continued.

He took a step forward. The light at the other end of the house went out and the crying stopped yet again. Another step. This time the light in the nursery cut out. It was now pitch black. In the house.

He stood there, frozen from fear. Halfway between the cot and the nurseries door. Suddenly, the crying started again. This time, it was coming from the cot behind him.

He slowly started to turn around toward the cot. His eyes struggling to adjust to the darkness that had engulfed the house.

The crying continued.

Still frozen with fear, he finally managed to whisper out… “Hello?”

At that very moment the door to the nursery slammed shut. At the other end of the house, the phones screen once again came to life. It illuminated the empty bedroom. The numbers of the clock glowed. The time finally clicking over.

It was 2:10am.

Love is Love

Simply Kim over at 28 Blog Street wrote the following powerful little message about marriage equality.

“To our LGBTI friends… or as I like to call you… ‘friends’…

Get married. Get divorced. Live in sin. Raise families. Stay single. Love who you want. I don’t care.

What I do care about, passionately… Is that you live your life, your way. Everyone has that right.

I do not support the Australian Government spending my money to make you feel less than who you are. I want them to spend that money to put food on the table of the needy and to build schools for our children and to give homes to the homeless. I do not support the Australian Government wasting years debating an issue that has an inevitable outcome. The time to reform the Marriage Act is now.

I want the Australian Government to spend no more money. To spend no more time. To just get it done.

Love is love. Love conquers all.

The Australian people stand with you.”

After reading this, the one and only thought I had was, I couldn’t have said it better myself! But then I start asking myself, why is marriage equality, in 2017, still an issue here in Australia? Why has this not been resolved yet? Why are our politicians so damn scared to change this outdated, archaic, exclusive law?

We have published a post about marriage equality before. A post called Close To My Heart which was published on July 1, 2015. A post that was published more than 2 years ago… 2 YEARS!!! Which means Australia has been debating this issue for the past 2 years, wish still no resolution in sight.

Australia… the time for change is now! The time for equality is now! JUST CHANGE THE GODDAMNED LAW AND LET LGBTI PEOPLE GET MARRIED!!! Seriously, what do we think is going to happen if the law changes? The apocalypse?

If you “don’t like gay marriage” like our former Prime Minister Mr Tony Abbott (who in all honesty should be ashamed of himself given the fact he has a gay sister)… then don’t attend gay weddings! SIMPLE!

Come on Australia… Just get it done. Let’s get the law changed to allow for marriage equality!

Love is love! Love wins!

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Footage Friday: Festival of Lights

Last weekend we decided to take the kids to the Festival of Lights at Westfield Chermside.

And they absolutely loved it!!!

It was Jesse’s first time seeing fireworks… but, he didn’t get frightened, and in fact, he didn’t know where to look there was so much happening.

Jasper was also a little trooper, not even flinching when the fireworks started up!

We will definitely have to do something like this with the kids again!

Marvel Monday

If there are any Marvel fans in the house, put your hands up!!!

*raises hands*

Yesterday, I finally made it into Brisbane and the Gallery of Modern Art (GOMA) to check out the Marvel: Creating the Cinematic Universe exhibit…

And wow… it was AWESOME!!!

According to the GOMA website:
“Drawing on Marvel’s extensive archive of original comic books, spectacular concept art, props and costumes, as well as private collections, the exhibition features over 500 unique objects including Thor’s hammer, Iron Man’s suit of armour, Captain America’s shield, and never-before-seen set pieces from the highly anticipated Thor: Ragnarok 2017, including the majestic Asgardian throne room.”

I have never seen so many awesome superhero things in place before. It was just amazing!

And as photography was welcomed, and I just happened to have my trustee Olympus mirror-less with me, I managed to get enough footage to put this short video together.

If you don’t end up getting to the exhibit first hand, I hope you enjoy this video instead!

Photo Friday: 3 Months Old Already

We can hardly believe it but our bouncing baby boy is three months old!

He is such a delight and has fit into our family like a perfect piece of our puzzle. 

His dimply grin, those chubby cheeks and his chilled out personality have us absolutely smitten. 

He is hinting at giggles and we just can’t wait to hear it in full. He loves watching his big brother Jesse play. And Jesse loves to kiss Jasper’s head and do ‘this little piggy’ with his toes. 

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Before we know it, we will be writing a post and celebrating the fact that he has just turned 6 months old… oh how time flies!!!

Again… those cheeks though!!! 😍

Our Birth Story Volume II: A Dad’s Perspective

Last year, both Renee and I wrote blog posts called ‘Our Birth Story: A Mum’s/Dad’s Perspective. It was our way of both celebrating and remembering our journey through to the birth of Jesse.

Well, Baby Barton #2 has since arrived on the scene in the form of a chubby little boy named Jasper who at 12 weeks old, is bigger than Jesse was at 12 months old (this might be a slight exaggeration, but I’m not kidding when I say that he is a MONSTER).

So, as we did for Jesse, we thought it might be good to share our own perspectives on Jasper’s birth story as he clocks in for his 3 Month Milestone. Because if these is one thing we do know for sure, it’s that this time around, the birth story is a lot different!

The last weeks

The last weeks were a lot different from when we were waiting on the arrival of Jesse. The biggest change being that Renee actually went full term this time around. And when I say full term, I mean she had Jasper smack bang right on the due date! With Jesse, she went into labour just over a week early.

In those last few weeks though, Renee was getting more and more uncomfortable… and more and more miserable. Hahaha… nah, she was okay. I mean, there were definitely moments of complete and utter despair at the fact that she was becoming less and less mobile, but it certainly didn’t stop her from getting on with things.


Conveniently, I had started my leave early due to the fact there was a good chance that Baby Barton #2 would be born early like Jesse was. That meant that we got to spend some quality time at home as a family of three, before the new addition decided to grace us with it’s presence. Throughout this time at home though, I was persistent at letting Renee know that she should hurry up and go into labour and have the baby already, because I didn’t want to waste all of my leave sitting around waiting for the baby to come. I did eventually learn to cut it out with the joking however, because for some reason, a certain someone who was almost 40 weeks pregnant wasn’t really in the mood for my jokes most of the time.

So the countdown continued, as we slowly (and in Renee’s case, time appeared to stop altogether) got closer and closer to the due date of Baby Barton #2.

The day before

I actually don’t remember much of what we did the day before. I remember that we were constantly talking about how funny it would be if Baby Barton #2 came on the due date. But we never really expected it to happen given how unlikely that is (I think it’s something like 4% of babies are born on their due date).

What I do remember however, is that Renee had been experiencing some pretty heavy contractions on and off for a few days. So much so that there were a few touch and go situation where we thought it might be necessary to call the hospital to tell them we were coming in. But then, the contractions would slow back down, and it would seem like we were back to playing the waiting game.

We did put Renee’s parents on notice however, as they were going to take Jesse home with them for the night when they got the call that we were heading to the hospital. Little did we know it would be the next day that we called them to come and pick Jesse up.


And as we went to bed that night, we again joked about how it would be funny if Baby Barton #2 came tomorrow… On its due date…

D-Day

It’s D-Day, but neither of us knew for certain it was actually going to be D-Day at first. Although we both had an inkling that it was going to be.

Throughout the course of the morning, Renee was regularly getting contractions. However, there was no consistency to them and as such, we were still in two minds about ringing the hospital. From early on in the pregnancy, it’s drilled into you to not call the hospital until contractions are 3 minutes apart. And Renee was all over the shop, with some falling 2 minutes apart, but others falling 6, 7, 8 minutes apart.

In the end, we decided it was best to check in with the hospital, just to be on the safe side.

First, we touched base with Renee’s parents and had them come to pick Jesse up just in case. I think we both kind of knew that Jesse had a feeling that something was up. He wasn’t quite himself. I believe from memory, he was also hesitant about leaving us to go with Nanny and Poppy for a sleepover… and he never hesitates when Nanny and Poppy offer to take him for a sleepover! In fact, in some cases, Nanny can’t even get all the way through the door and into our kitchen before Jesse has taken her hand, grabbed his bag and is heading to the front door to leave!

But not too long after Jesse left with Nanny and Poppy, we made the call. The birthing suite answered, and right in the middle of the discussion, Renee stopped as another wave of contractions hit her. “Yea, but the sounds of how much pain you’re in, I think it’s probably best to come on in so we can check you out…” the voice at the other end of the line said. “We can always just send you home again if it’s too early…” she said. We hung up the phone and laughed at the prospect of being sent home, as we both knew now, that things were ramping up.

Then the interesting part of this whole day came. And that was the car ride to the hospital. It was the one thing that Renee was not looking forward to after the memories of the trip to the hospital for Jesse’s birth. Apparently car rides are excruciatingly painful when you’re 40 weeks pregnant and are experiencing contractions… who knew right?!?! And as I drove (as quickly but as lawfully as I could) to the hospital, all I could do was keep reassuring Renee that we were almost there. Not long to go. You’re doing great. But geez she looked like she was in a lot of pain!

In the birthing suite

So that takes us through to our arrival at the hospital, and our entry into the birthing suite. Well, this is a story all on its own, because let me tell you this… we almost didn’t make it into the birthing suite!

After a very slow walk through the hospital carpark (also surprisingly, when your 40 weeks pregnant and pretty much in the throes of labour, walking is apparently very difficult), we finally managed to make our way up to level 2 of the hospital, and through the doors to the reception area of the birthing suite. And once we got to the reception area, we were met with the news that there was currently no available birthing suites! However, the good news was, that one was just being cleaned and should be ready any minute.

Oh no… that was not the news that Renee wanted to hear. So here we were, in all our glory, waiting in the halls at the reception area. Me surrounded by all the bags we had to bring, Renee starting to get louder and louder as she was bent over a railing in labour. Renee also screaming at me to call her mum and sister to get to the hospital ASAP. The midwifes trying to calm Renee and reassure her that the birthing suite is almost ready to go. And I felt like laughing. Because surely this only happens in the movies? I mean, it was touch and go there for a while… we honestly thought there was a good possibility that Renee was going to have Baby Barton #2 in the hallway!

What did actually end up only being minutes later (although it must have felt like an eternity for Renee) we were finally let into the newly cleaned birthing suite. Shortly after, Renee’s mum and sister arrived… and shortly after that, Jasper Barton arrived.


Like, literally, I think from memory we arrived at the hospital sometime after 12pm, by 1:30pm, Jasper was born! How quick was that labour!!! I mean the labour for Jesse’s birth wasn’t extremely long either, but this was super quick. That said, we think Renee had officially been in labour from the day before, but you know… it still seemed quick to us.

After Jasper was born, we did take a little longer to name him than we did with Jesse. We had some names picked out, but we still weren’t 100% decided on a name. We thought about it for a little while longer, and eventually came to decision to name him Jasper James Barton. One of our choicies, and the choice that definitely seemed to fit this new little bundle of joy we had in our arms.

Wow, what an experience birth number two was. I actually can’t believe how different it was to the first time. So much so that it was like the first time all over again!

And even though we realized at the time when we named him, the funny thing is we ended up with two boys, both of whom have the initials J.J.B., and both of whom were born on a Wednesday. Like seriously, that can’t happen… can it?!?!

Happy 3 Month Milestone Jasper!!! You chubby little monster you…

Dad Bod: It’s Time To Go Part II

On 23 January 2017, someone decided to write a post called ‘Dad Bod: It’s time to go!’

That someone was me.

My post went something a little like this:

“Blah blah blah I’m not going to beat around the bush… I have officially (by my own admittance) reached fat bastard status! I got to that point where I realised I had two options available moving forward regarding my diet and my weight. Either stop eating… or buy a whole new wardrobe full of clothes. And let’s face it, to stop eating is definitely the cheaper way to go!”

“Blah blah blah I mean, it’s pretty bad. Like so bad that the t-shirts I own look like they’re about 2 sizes to small when I wear them. If I start to raise my arms it looks like I’m wearing a midriff! Plus none of my pants fit! We went to the Redcliffe Lagoon just before New Years and I couldn’t do them up. I have buttons popping open on shorts and I even had to use a hair tie on the top button of a pair of jeans because I couldn’t get it done up! Yes, a hack I learned from my pregnant wife.”

“Blah blah blah I’ve embraced the Dad Bod for long enough. All the delicious food and the cold beers and the tasty burgers and the amazing chocolate and the delightful doughnuts and the… IT’S TIME TO STOP!!!”

Pretty convincing stuff right. Well, I must have thought so at the time, because I was clearly fired up enough to put down in writing that I was going to lose the dad bod and gain a six pack that would give Zac Efron a run for his money! I was making claims like I was going to be the next inspirational body transformation story to go viral around the world and have everyone asking me “How did you do it?” I was talking like I was going to be the next Instagram male fitness model with abs of steel, calves that could cut through glass, biceps that would make The Rock jealous and an ego to match.

Fast forward to the end of June and I’m now peaking at 90kg in weight, I haven’t given up any of the bad foods I said I was going to give up, I’m drinking more beer than I did at Christmas and New Years, I’ve had to buy the next size up in underwear, and I’ve had to buy half a wardrobes worth of clothes that actually fit me.

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I think I’ve practically just given up trying to lose weight and get back to my peak fitness level. It’s like I’ve just thrown up the middle finger with a “f*** it… I’m having cake and beer!” I mean, cake and beer is freaking delicious!!! Who doesn’t want cake and beer! Just throw in some mac and cheese, dark chocolate, a full family bag of cheese supreme Doritos and some ice cream and you have a bloody good night in at home on the couch watching some Netflix!

Losing weight is just so damn hard these days. I mean, I never really thought that being in my early thirties would have that much of an impact on my health and fitness but f***… it’s like my body just turns whatever I eat to fat and stores it there for an eternity.

So bugger it… I’m just going to keep enjoying myself. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still exercise and sh**… but I think I’m going to give up on the dream of being the next Arnold Schwarzenegger!

With that said, I’ve got to go… I’ve got a 7/11 Slurpee and king size Mars bar calling my name!

When the season changes…

A simple change of season brings with it so many things… like cool nights spent in front of the television under a blanket. Lazy mornings spent dozing under the warmth of the doona. Flannelette pyjamas. Onesies. Slow cooked meals and warm soups. Runny noses and blocked sinuses.

With a simple change of season, Winter is here.


It has brought with it, into our household at least, the kind of runny noses, blocked sinuses and chesty coughs that young children just seem to attract. It has also brought with it, restless nights.

Over the past few nights, our modest queen size bed has been full. Full with two tired parents, a sniffily, snoring toddler with a blocked nose, and a restless baby that just wants to be continuously attached to Renee’s boob. Our bed is full of warm bodies fighting for space in a forever shrinking bed that seems to be getting smaller by the minute. But it’s not just full of these sleeping, sometimes restless bodies… It is also full of love…

It is full of the love of a mother cradling her newborn in the crook of her arm as she yet again exposes her breast to the cool air of the night to once again feed, soothe and settle his tiny whimpers and cries.

It is full of the love of a newborn when he feels the warmth and closeness of his mother, as he begins to take in the sweet milk that he has been longing for.

It is full of the love of a father as he breathes in the blissful scent of his toddler’s hair when he rolls over and cuddles in for warmth, placing his tiny hand on my cheek.

It is full of the love of a toddler who feels safe wrapped in the arms of his father, as he breathes and snores softly into the night.

A simple change of season brings with it so many things. But of all the things that a change of season to those cooler months of Winter brings, it’s the overflowing feeling of love we feel as our family finally falls soundly asleep, breathing almost in harmony, cuddled up and sharing with each other our warmth, that we treasure most.

A simple change of season brings with it so many things…

And love is the greatest of them all.

Something funny happened last night…

Something funny happened in our house last night.

Something that is the result of two tired parents, at night, doing their best, trying to get the kids to bed.

So, as is normally the case of an evening/night in the Barton household at the moment, Renee was feeding and nursing Jasper while I was playing with Jesse and making us dinner. On Saturday night while we were out for my Mum’s Birthday, Jesse found a skill tester full of bouncy balls. $1 later and some serious skill tester skills on my part, Jesse was the proud owner of a small, red bouncy ball which hasn’t left his sight since we got home that night. So last night, Daddy and Jesse were bouncing said bouncy ball back and forth to each other for hours, much to Jesse’s delight.

Anyways, so we eventually got organised and got both boys ready for bed.


Our normal routine of an evening is once the boys are ready for bed, and once Jesse has had enough playtime and starts showing signs of being tired, one of us will take him into our bedroom and lay with him on our bed with a bottle while he falls asleep. Well, last night it didn’t quite play out that way.

We got the boys ready for bed… we let Jesse continue playing… and Renee took him into our room for a bottle and sleep time. 7 minutes later, the door opens and out strolls Jesse wide eyed and bushy tailed! Ok, fair enough, not quite ready for bed yet.

So it was more bouncy ball play time, as Jesse and I sat at opposite ends of the kitchen and continued to bounce it to each other.

A little while later, and it was my turn. So it was into the bedroom, sans bottle, for the second attempt… … … We didn’t even last 5 minutes this time!

Back out we go for more play time.

About 30 minutes later, Jesse finally takes me by the hand, requests another bottle and then leads me into the bedroom. By this stage, it’s somewhere between 8:30 and 9:00pm and well past Jesse’s bedtime. It’s all good though. Hopefully he falls asleep pretty quickly and I’ll be able to sneak out in time to see the end of MasterChef.

I remember laying down beside him, feeling him snuggling into me as he chugged his bottle down. I remember him handing me the empty bottle, putting it on the side table, and then snuggling back into him as he rolled over to get comfortable. And then…

Well, the next thing I remember is Renee nudging me in the arm to wake me up. “Hey… we both fell asleep and it’s now 10pm” she says to me as I try and comprehend where I am and what’s happened.

“What?! Did I really fall asleep” I say back to her, convinced she is lying. I’m sure I remember thinking about stuff while I lay here. Or was it a dream…

Oh well… that folks, is how parenting is done. Where the person with the most energy at 8pm on a Sunday night is your 2 year old toddler. And when you both fall asleep trying to put the kids to bed and miss the end of Australia’s best amateur cooking show, MasterChef. Who had the three best dishes? Who had the worst three dishes? Who the hell was the guest chef? These are all questions I may never get the answers to…

Like I said at the start of this post, something funny happened last night. It was the result of two tired parents, just doing our best.

So, what’s in store tonight? Well, I can let you know how we go if you like, although, there is one thing I do know… I can’t miss the ending of another episode of Australia’s favourite show about cooking things, MasterChef (not really, because really, who gives a sh*t about who had the best dish when you can snuggle with your 2 year old in bed!).

Thoughts of a Dad going back to work.

It’s been six weeks since I last went to work.

It’s been six weeks since I got up at 5am… put on work clothes… caught public transport… walked through Brisbane City…

But today, for the first time in six weeks, I got up at 5am, put on my work clothes, caught public transport, walked through Brisbane City and went to work. Because today, is my first day back from my planned parental leave.

For the past six weeks, I’ve had the absolute pleasure of being home with Renee to help welcome our second child, Jasper James into the world. And wow… what an amazing six weeks it’s been!

Our family grew by one (us boys now officially rule the house!!!). We had numerous visitors come through our doors to give us adult interaction but to also meet and adore our newest addition. I managed to complete a number of home projects we kept putting off because we either had no time, no money, or a combination of the two. I bonded with Jesse on a whole new level after spending almost every waking hour keeping him entertained so that Renee could tend to Jasper.

We laughed. We cried. We slept on the couch at midday because we got little sleep the night before.

We had tantrums. We had night terrors. We had snotty noses. We had vomit down out arms and nappies full of diarrhoea.

But it was literally the best six weeks at home we have spent together in a very long time.


But today, it all changed. Because today, was my first day back at work. Today, was the first day Renee was at home with both boys by herself. Today, was the day that I had to leave Renee, Jesse and Jasper at home, after spending 6 weeks with them, because I had to go back to work. Today, was one of the hardest days I’ve had to face in a long time.

I always knew it was going to be difficult leaving my family behind as I went back off to work after spending so much time together. But come yesterday evening, I felt physically sick at the thought of going back to work! Not because I hate my job, far from it! But because all I wanted to do, was to be with my family.

However, if there is one thing I do know, it’s that work is exactly where I need to be. I need to provide for my family so that there is petrol in the tank, food on the table, and nappies on the kids. I need to support my family so that Renee is able to continue to stay at home with our children and chase her passion as a Kanga Trainer.

And it’s for those reasons, as I sit here at work on my lunch break, that I know I am where I need to be, and I am okay with that.

For those of you out there who are in similar positions, remember… you may be leaving your partner and kids of a day, but don’t feel guilty about that. You are where you need to be, and in the future, they will thank you for that!