So this video is a little old… but it is still definitely worth sharing. It is from the first time we were able to get Jasper to really laugh.
Daddy was being very silly… Jasper was being completely adorable… And the end result was this damn cute video of him cracking up laughing for the first time!
Remember to sit down, take a breath, and enjoy the simple things in life… like giggling babies!
In today’s world multitasking is king. Women are commended for their ability to have a million things on the go at once and men are teased for their supposed lack of ability to focus on more than one thing at a time.
But is multitasking really all that it’s cracked up to be?
I hear from many women, mum’s in particular, that it is utterly exhausting and quite often ineffective to have so much on our plates. Just the mental dialouge and to do lists alone are wearing us out. We’ve been raised to believe we can have it all; a successful career, fulfilling family, a body like Michelle Bridges and a sex life out of an episode of Sex and the City. But can we really?
Maybe we can. Just not at the same time.
I recently read ‘Happy Mama’ the guide to finding yourself again by Amy Taylor-Kabbaz. In the chapter on Grace, Amy talks about the ‘multi-tasking trap’ and it really struck a chord with me. She dared to suggest that multitasking doesn’t work and that it was actually the “source of most of my meltdowns, most of my tears and most of my shameful mummy moments”.
As Amy went on to give some examples, it was as if I’d written it myself. The times when I have lashed out at my husband or kids is usually when I’m trying to do too many things at once. Cook dinner, send business emails, show interest in my husband’s work day, soothe a hungry baby and make a bottle for an impatient toddler all at the same time. Not to mention the internal dialogue that’s constantly screaming in my head, reminding me to pay that bill, put a load of laundry on, text my friend who’s had a rough day and what groceries we’re running out of.
Arrggghh….just writing it stresses me out.
In the book Amy says that she learned to be ‘mindful’ (isn’t that the word of the day!), to be aware of her thoughts and focus on one thing at a time. Giving that moment her full attention. She goes on to give examples of reaching for her phone while breastfeeding instead of soaking in the special time with baby or reading a bedtime story but not actually hearing the words you’ve read, as your mind is too busy thinking of other things.
I’m reading this getting all geed up. Yes! I’m going to be mindful. I’m going to focus my attention on one thing at a time. I’m going to be present and available for my children. And then a thought hit me. How the hell am I supposed to get anything done!?!
If I can’t read while I’m breastfeeding or send emails while cooking dinner or write my shopping list while playing with my toddler then when can I? When everyone’s asleep at night? Then when the hell do I sleep??
Multitasking might be the enemy and cause of our stress but maybe it’s the only way to fit it all in sometimes?
I don’t have the answer to this dilemma. And maybe there isn’t one. I suppose it comes down to what’s important vs what’s urgent.
And what’s important to me is that my husband and children feel valued and not constantly battling for my attention.
On that note, time to put the phone down and turn off the internal dialogue for a few minutes. It’s time to go give my big boy a piggy back and make silly faces at my baby to make him laugh.
You know, the important things ❤️
“Oh no! Have we become just another parenting blog?”
We have started brainstorming some updates to our social media branding when I realised that, despite our best intentions, NSSLOU has basically become all about our life as parents.
But you know what, this is the chapter that we are in right now and it’s all encompassing. It’s different and hard and fun and it’s who we are at this point in our lives. Mummy and Daddy.
And I don’t apologise at all for that.
We may not be out seeing the world exploring and adventuring, but we are having adventures of different kind. And we will get back to being those jet-setting, cocktail-sipping people again eventually. Hopefully.
But for now I’m the Mum whose Insta feed is basically a shrine to my kids, whose shirt is usually spit-up or milk stained and who doesn’t venture too far from home because you never know how car trips are going to turn out.
We are the 30-somethings spending most nights at home navigating bath time and dinner prep. And instead of partying or camping on weekends you’ll usually find us playing in the backyard or spending time with family.
For now we are just ordinary people. A husband, a wife. And a parenting team just trying to raise exceptional children and keep our shit together as much as possible.
So to all the other 30-somethings out there that are knee deep in nappies and whose lounge rooms look more like a day care centre than a Kmart catalogue. We get you. And hopefully our musings bring you some relief.
We’ll meet you at the pool bar in say….15 years.
It was only a couple of years ago that we had our first baby but my how quickly you forget things. Well, you never really forget but more so you get focused on the current challenges and milestones of whatever stage they’re in. But now we are in the thick of baby life yet again, and I am rediscovering all the things I’d forgotten about.
Like the endless rotation of clothing. This baby is constantly either shitting or spewing all over what he’s wearing! I swear he goes through about 4 outfits a day. Not to mention my constant need to change from being spewed or shat on! Ok, if i’m honest, you’ll often find me wearing vomit or milk stained clothes because there’s just no point changing AGAIN! And why is it that we always pack a change of clothes for them but never for us??
Then there’s those delightful car trips with a screaming baby. Yup, we’ve got one of those again. I feel like I’ve built up a better tolerance to it this time around but if we go somewhere as a family and Kaine is in the car too, cue extreme stress levels and arguments every time. Men just can’t seem to handle it can they? At least we now know that screaming bloody murder on car trips will eventually give way to 11pm drives to get the kid who now magically loves the car to sleep.
Perhaps my favourite is the little discoveries baby makes. Like finding his hands and feet. Jasper has been marvelling at his fists for a while now and is just starting to lift his beautiful chubby legs up in the air. He is also finding his voice and squealing with delight. Gosh I love this stage so much.
I’m being reminded how sweet a sound baby giggles are and how you’ll do just about anything to win one. From silly faces and baby talk to tickling and singing made up songs. But it’s so worth it every time I hear his laugh and see his heartbreakingly cute dimples and puffy cheeks.
I’m also remembering how frustrating and disheartening it is to have a crying baby you just can’t seem to soothe. It’s agony. But thankfully we haven’t had many times like that yet.
I don’t ever want to forget these moments and I know just how fleeting they are. One blink and they’re suddenly having conversations with you and getting hair cuts and demanding mnm’s for breakfast.
If only we could hold onto our little babies forever.
I managed to get a few minutes to sit and record our three month postpartum update.
It’s a little update on how mum and Bub are doing. And it’s only about a month late so we’re doing well!
*Yes, there is a bit cut out of the video about how Jesse is adjusting to the new addition. My bad! But rest assured he’s coping just fine. My editing skills however…
Where did the last three months go? Oh yes, that’s right in a blur of life with a newborn and a toddler.
As Jasper reaches 12 weeks old I can’t help feeling a tinge of sadness. I’m saying goodbye to another blissful fourth trimester spent with another gorgeous (not so) little boy. I swear I could keep doing pregnancy, birth and newborn days over and over I love it so much.
This time around was different to the first, but every bit as wonderful. Though my days were more toddler wrangling and attention dividing as apposed to ‘Netflix and Chill’ and afternoon naps, seeing Jesse’s growing affection and love for his little brother totally made up for it.
I definitely feel like I’ve slept more this time around but I could just be more accustomed to sleep deprivation nowadays. I think having a bigger baby and learning to breastfeed lying down have definitely helped.
And so as we reach this milestone I again write another love letter, this time to my second son.
To my chubba bubba Jasper,
You are such a delight, my love. Your squishy cheeks and your kissy lips melt me every day. And the way you lock eyes with me makes me feel like the luckiest mummy in the world.
No longer a newborn, but really you haven’t been one for quite some time. You outgrew your newborn nappies in less than two weeks and you have been wearing ‘crawler’ size since eight weeks old! You are already filling out 00 clothing, much of which was worn by your big brother but when he was six months old, not three!
It’s very obvious you feed well my little milk monster. And I just love how easy and calm feed time is with you.
You rushed into the world on the very day you were due. It was a beautiful, intense experience I will never forget. I will never forget our first night together when you just slept and pooped the entire night. I will never forget that you were such a noisy sleeper that mummy didn’t get a wink! And I didn’t mind one bit.
You lived in my tummy for nine months and have now been earth-side for three. Over the last three months I have loved getting to know you, cuddling and kissing you. From a noisy newborn to now, a giggling, big three month old. I could kiss your chubby cheeks all day long. And sometimes do.
Jasper James, you are such a precious addition to our family, my sweet boy.
A couple of hours after you were born I stepped into the shower with a smile on my face and whispered “I am so blessed”. And I truly am. Though some days are hard I would not have my life any other way.
Thank you ,darling, for choosing us.
Read my first fourth trimester experience here.
We can hardly believe it but our bouncing baby boy is three months old!
He is such a delight and has fit into our family like a perfect piece of our puzzle.
His dimply grin, those chubby cheeks and his chilled out personality have us absolutely smitten.
He is hinting at giggles and we just can’t wait to hear it in full. He loves watching his big brother Jesse play. And Jesse loves to kiss Jasper’s head and do ‘this little piggy’ with his toes.
Before we know it, we will be writing a post and celebrating the fact that he has just turned 6 months old… oh how time flies!!!
Again… those cheeks though!!! 😍
Last year, both Renee and I wrote blog posts called ‘Our Birth Story: A Mum’s/Dad’s Perspective. It was our way of both celebrating and remembering our journey through to the birth of Jesse.
Well, Baby Barton #2 has since arrived on the scene in the form of a chubby little boy named Jasper who at 12 weeks old, is bigger than Jesse was at 12 months old (this might be a slight exaggeration, but I’m not kidding when I say that he is a MONSTER).
So, as we did for Jesse, we thought it might be good to share our own perspectives on Jasper’s birth story as he clocks in for his 3 Month Milestone. Because if these is one thing we do know for sure, it’s that this time around, the birth story is a lot different!
The last weeks
The last weeks were a lot different from when we were waiting on the arrival of Jesse. The biggest change being that Renee actually went full term this time around. And when I say full term, I mean she had Jasper smack bang right on the due date! With Jesse, she went into labour just over a week early.
In those last few weeks though, Renee was getting more and more uncomfortable… and more and more miserable. Hahaha… nah, she was okay. I mean, there were definitely moments of complete and utter despair at the fact that she was becoming less and less mobile, but it certainly didn’t stop her from getting on with things.
Conveniently, I had started my leave early due to the fact there was a good chance that Baby Barton #2 would be born early like Jesse was. That meant that we got to spend some quality time at home as a family of three, before the new addition decided to grace us with it’s presence. Throughout this time at home though, I was persistent at letting Renee know that she should hurry up and go into labour and have the baby already, because I didn’t want to waste all of my leave sitting around waiting for the baby to come. I did eventually learn to cut it out with the joking however, because for some reason, a certain someone who was almost 40 weeks pregnant wasn’t really in the mood for my jokes most of the time.
So the countdown continued, as we slowly (and in Renee’s case, time appeared to stop altogether) got closer and closer to the due date of Baby Barton #2.
The day before
I actually don’t remember much of what we did the day before. I remember that we were constantly talking about how funny it would be if Baby Barton #2 came on the due date. But we never really expected it to happen given how unlikely that is (I think it’s something like 4% of babies are born on their due date).
What I do remember however, is that Renee had been experiencing some pretty heavy contractions on and off for a few days. So much so that there were a few touch and go situation where we thought it might be necessary to call the hospital to tell them we were coming in. But then, the contractions would slow back down, and it would seem like we were back to playing the waiting game.
We did put Renee’s parents on notice however, as they were going to take Jesse home with them for the night when they got the call that we were heading to the hospital. Little did we know it would be the next day that we called them to come and pick Jesse up.
And as we went to bed that night, we again joked about how it would be funny if Baby Barton #2 came tomorrow… On its due date…
D-Day
It’s D-Day, but neither of us knew for certain it was actually going to be D-Day at first. Although we both had an inkling that it was going to be.
Throughout the course of the morning, Renee was regularly getting contractions. However, there was no consistency to them and as such, we were still in two minds about ringing the hospital. From early on in the pregnancy, it’s drilled into you to not call the hospital until contractions are 3 minutes apart. And Renee was all over the shop, with some falling 2 minutes apart, but others falling 6, 7, 8 minutes apart.
In the end, we decided it was best to check in with the hospital, just to be on the safe side.
First, we touched base with Renee’s parents and had them come to pick Jesse up just in case. I think we both kind of knew that Jesse had a feeling that something was up. He wasn’t quite himself. I believe from memory, he was also hesitant about leaving us to go with Nanny and Poppy for a sleepover… and he never hesitates when Nanny and Poppy offer to take him for a sleepover! In fact, in some cases, Nanny can’t even get all the way through the door and into our kitchen before Jesse has taken her hand, grabbed his bag and is heading to the front door to leave!
But not too long after Jesse left with Nanny and Poppy, we made the call. The birthing suite answered, and right in the middle of the discussion, Renee stopped as another wave of contractions hit her. “Yea, but the sounds of how much pain you’re in, I think it’s probably best to come on in so we can check you out…” the voice at the other end of the line said. “We can always just send you home again if it’s too early…” she said. We hung up the phone and laughed at the prospect of being sent home, as we both knew now, that things were ramping up.
Then the interesting part of this whole day came. And that was the car ride to the hospital. It was the one thing that Renee was not looking forward to after the memories of the trip to the hospital for Jesse’s birth. Apparently car rides are excruciatingly painful when you’re 40 weeks pregnant and are experiencing contractions… who knew right?!?! And as I drove (as quickly but as lawfully as I could) to the hospital, all I could do was keep reassuring Renee that we were almost there. Not long to go. You’re doing great. But geez she looked like she was in a lot of pain!
In the birthing suite
So that takes us through to our arrival at the hospital, and our entry into the birthing suite. Well, this is a story all on its own, because let me tell you this… we almost didn’t make it into the birthing suite!
After a very slow walk through the hospital carpark (also surprisingly, when your 40 weeks pregnant and pretty much in the throes of labour, walking is apparently very difficult), we finally managed to make our way up to level 2 of the hospital, and through the doors to the reception area of the birthing suite. And once we got to the reception area, we were met with the news that there was currently no available birthing suites! However, the good news was, that one was just being cleaned and should be ready any minute.
Oh no… that was not the news that Renee wanted to hear. So here we were, in all our glory, waiting in the halls at the reception area. Me surrounded by all the bags we had to bring, Renee starting to get louder and louder as she was bent over a railing in labour. Renee also screaming at me to call her mum and sister to get to the hospital ASAP. The midwifes trying to calm Renee and reassure her that the birthing suite is almost ready to go. And I felt like laughing. Because surely this only happens in the movies? I mean, it was touch and go there for a while… we honestly thought there was a good possibility that Renee was going to have Baby Barton #2 in the hallway!
What did actually end up only being minutes later (although it must have felt like an eternity for Renee) we were finally let into the newly cleaned birthing suite. Shortly after, Renee’s mum and sister arrived… and shortly after that, Jasper Barton arrived.
Like, literally, I think from memory we arrived at the hospital sometime after 12pm, by 1:30pm, Jasper was born! How quick was that labour!!! I mean the labour for Jesse’s birth wasn’t extremely long either, but this was super quick. That said, we think Renee had officially been in labour from the day before, but you know… it still seemed quick to us.
After Jasper was born, we did take a little longer to name him than we did with Jesse. We had some names picked out, but we still weren’t 100% decided on a name. We thought about it for a little while longer, and eventually came to decision to name him Jasper James Barton. One of our choicies, and the choice that definitely seemed to fit this new little bundle of joy we had in our arms.
Wow, what an experience birth number two was. I actually can’t believe how different it was to the first time. So much so that it was like the first time all over again!
And even though we realized at the time when we named him, the funny thing is we ended up with two boys, both of whom have the initials J.J.B., and both of whom were born on a Wednesday. Like seriously, that can’t happen… can it?!?!
Happy 3 Month Milestone Jasper!!! You chubby little monster you…
The past 6 weeks have flown by so fast but yes, Jasper is now 6 weeks old. The first 6 weeks with a newborn really is like a honeymoon period. The oxytocin is flowing, mama and baby are bonding, visitors are showering you with gifts and food. It’s incredible.
And then the 6 week mark hits and all of a sudden you are just magically meant to have your shit together. The fan fare has faded, the fog begins to lift and the new normal takes hold. Routines are starting to form (some days), and our bodies are, for the most part, ready to handle our normal-life activities again.
While the postpartum honeymoon period might be drawing to a close, we continue to fall more in love with our bubba. And our big boy as he slips beautifully into the role of big brother. And I reckon I can milk calling Jasper a newborn for at least another 6 weeks despite the fact that he is a chunky 5.2kg already!
When Jesse was just 14 days old, our amazing photographer Renee Trubai came to our home and photographed us and our little boy. She captured the rawness of us as brand new parents and all the wonder that is a brand new baby.
This time we were left to our own devices (literally) to photograph Jasper as Renee tends to her two month old twins.
We’re trying desperately not to fall into the trap of having a million photos of the first born and none of the second, but it can be tricky at times!
But 4 weeks and 4 days old, we finally got around to taking a few shots. Using our own camera, a tripod and Kaine’s iPhone (which we had to crop out of some pics!), we managed to get a few nice ones for the photo book.
This one is particularly hilarious to us because instead of looking like a delicate newborn like Jesse did, Jasper is a chunky monkey complete with arm rolls! Super cute though!
Oh yea, and Renee, we tried our hardest, but nothing compares to the photos you take. WE NEED OUR AMAZING PHOTOGRAPHER BACK!!! 😝😂
not so secret life of us 