Tag: parenting

Reclaiming Our Bed

Renee Barton1 Comment

Something incredibly sweet has occurred in our house this week. Jesse has once again started sleeping in his own room. Hallelujah! I can now have the light on when putting on my pyjamas, read a book before bed and actually sleep in the position of my choosing without fear of waking him up.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for co-sleeping. In fact, I really love it. There is nothing, sweeter than cuddling up next to my small person at bed time. However, not so sweet is him deciding that my face is a comfortable pillow or getting kicked in the guts at 1am!

Co-sleeping with him as a newborn just worked for us. It was the only way to ensure anyone got any sleep and, when breastfeeding every couple of hours, it just made sense. But I was that woman who insisted I would not co-sleep with a toddler. Our bed was for us, husband and wife. The children would be welcome in the morning for snuggles but were not to sleep with us in our bed all night.

Yeah right!

We moved Jesse into his cot in his own room at about 3 months old because I needed some space and because we thought it was what we were meant to do. It went okay for a while but then teething started and suddenly he developed a severe allergy to sleeping in his cot. It’s like he had a sixth sense and knew he was in his cot as soon as you had put him down in it. No matter how dead asleep he was prior, he would stand up and immediately start crying as if you’d just lay him on a bed of nails. And don’t even consider putting him in there to put him self to sleep. No form of sleep training or pick up, put down methods would work on a kid this stubborn!

So back into our bed it was and that’s how we’ve done it for the last 8 or so months. It worked for us. We all got sleep and we enjoyed being together.

But recently I just felt like Jesse was ready to sleep on his own. And I was ready for it too. So we converted his cot into a toddler bed and decided to give it a whirl. We started with day naps (yes, he would have these in our bed too!) and for a whole week he slept like a champ. So then, with a little hesitation from Kaine, we attempted his first night sleep in his ‘big boy’ bed. It was a little bit sad but incredibly liberating at the same time. And it went brilliantly, he was in his bed from 7.30pm to 6.30am with a couple of little wake ups in between. Success!

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I was totally expecting it to be a gradual process but here we are coming up to night 4 and it has been a breeze.

Next step, getting him to sleep through the night… hmmm…

Guess I’ll take what I can get for now.

Let’s Talk About Internet Trolls

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

So let’s talk about online bullies… Internet trolls… keyboard warriors…

Whatever it is you want to call them, they are usually that pathetic kind of person you wouldn’t even waste a single breath for; who have nothing better to do with their time than hide behind the anonymity of the internet and post abusive and insensitive crap on social media platforms usually directed at a person or group of people and almost always to either feel better about their own pathetic lives or to get some kind of reaction out of the person to which they are directing their drivel.

Wow, that was a mouthful. Actually, have I just bullied internet bullies? Does that make me an internet bully?

Anyways, so what is it exactly we need to talk about in relation to these low life’s?

Well, for some reason, it seems we need to talk about internet trolls because people somehow seem to forget that they exist. And not only do they exist, they aren’t going to go away any time soon.

A few days ago a news article popped up in my news feed that caught my attention. A mummy blogger broke down on YouTube, after being personally attacked by internet bullies when a post she wrote about having a ‘quickie’ with her husband went viral.

While she has received hundreds of messages of support from fans since posting the YouTube video to her Facebook page, the reaction to the whole story has been mixed, with some people saying that if she can’t handle the abuse and negative feedback, than she shouldn’t share so much of her life online.

The author of the article even goes as far as to suggest that this mummy blogger shouldn’t be the one that has to put up with the horrible, nasty and insulting comments and that it should be the bullies and the trolls that are told to get off the internet. Come on… really?

Are we really that naive that we think we can just wave some sort of magic wand and make all online bullies and internet trolls disappear forever?

So with all that said, where do I stand on this issue… Well I’m sorry to say, I tend to lean toward those who are saying if you can’t handle the abuse from the trolls, than you shouldn’t be posting about your personal life online.

Let me just say at this point that this is simply my opinion on this topic. You don’t have to like it. You don’t have to agree with. And I am writing this not having had to deal with online bullies or internet trolls ourselves.

But with that said, let’s just think about this for a minute. Internet trolls operate largely under a banner of anonymity. This means they can pretty much get away with saying whatever they want. It’s almost impossible to regulate what everyone does on the internet. When you post your private life to the internet, you are opening yourself up to both the good and the bad comments from others. And if you do decide to post your private life to the internet, you need to be prepared to handle any abuse and negative comments that are thrown your way.

Unfortunately, those are the cold hard facts. It may not be fair. But unfortunately, that’s the world we live in.

It’s like becoming a famous actor or musician and then complaining about the paparazzi chasing you everywhere. You put yourself in that situation. You have to deal with the consequences.

So getting back to the article. While I don’t condone what has happened to this mummy blogger on the back of her viral post, I find it somewhat hard to feel sorry for her due to the fact that online trolls are such a common problem.

Also, after reading the article and watching her video, I call bull s*** on her argument about not wanting to go viral. It’s pretty clear with the way that post was written that she was hoping it would get some sort of traction. And you don’t create a public blog if you don’t want some sort of popularity to enable you to make a living from it.

So what’s the solution? Well, we can’t get rid of internet trolls. So the best way to deal with them is simply to ignore them.

Regardless of whether you like her writing or not (I don’t personally but that’s just me), new blogging sensation Constance Hall has dealing with trolls down to a fine art. She just doesn’t give a f***. If she gets hate, she ignores it and moves on.

So I’m sorry you’ve had a rough time with trolls mummy blogger. But unfortunately, that’s the world we live in. If you believe in what your doing, just ignore the hate, and keep on going.

Because if we continue to let the trolls get to us, then they’ve won!

Photo Friday: Family Mountain Climb

Renee BartonLeave a comment

A few weekends ago we headed out to Samford and, as a family, climbed Camp Mountain.

It was a fairly rugged hike, and was made harder by carrying an extra 11kg in the form of a 14 month old… But we really enjoyed it. And the view from the top was great!

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It was also really wonderful to see others at the summit enjoying a warm winters day and having lunch. When you get weather like this during the winter, you’d be crazy not to take advantage of it.

We will definitely be climbing more mountains in the future… And maybe, we might even attempt some trickier ones.

Footage Friday: Making Bath Time Fun

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

So Jesse loves bath time!

Whenever he hears the bath filling up, he heads straight to the bathroom to watch the water spurting out of the tap and to wait until he gets to hop in.

In fact, he has always seemed to enjoy his baths, even when he was a little baby.

But what he loves more than just regular bath time… is bath time with Aunty Lia.

Yup, LOVES IT!!!

As you can see in this video, Jesse and Aunty Lia have a lot of fun at bath time. And then mummy and daddy have a lot of fun mopping up the water from all over the bathroom when bath time has finished.

Why Babywearing Delights Me

Renee BartonLeave a comment

After breakfast this morning while Jesse was happily destroying a banana squeezing it through his fingers, I read an article entitled ‘Why Babywearing Annoys Me‘.

It was one mum’s rant about how baby wearing parents are “high-horse owning” and “smug” and have unachievable parenting standards. In one part the writer says that she feels baby-wearing parents think they love their children more and later she insinuates that we put the need to be hands-free for housework as a higher priority than giving attention to our babies.

As I read I was quite shocked by my reaction. Instead of feeling infuriated by such a small-minded perspective I actually felt saddened. Partly that this drivel is allowed on the internet. But mostly, here was a mum who obviously felt threatened by something she didn’t understand.

Jesse is 14 months and is still worn almost daily. I can say in all honesty that baby-wearing has changed my whole experience as his mum.


I purchased a stretchy wrap towards the end of my pregnancy because I loved the concept of wearing my newborn to help him adjust to life on the outside. Little did I know that a wrap or carrier would become his happy place and still bring him so much comfort after all this time.

“And if I went shopping, George went in his buggy. How on earth would I try something on with a baby attached to me?”

Yes, I go shopping with my baby in a carrier. Unlike this mum, my baby never liked to be in a pram. It’s not like I didn’t try. We have a very nice, expensive pram that I would have loved to use more often. I’d see other mum’s swanning around the shops while their perfect baby slept soundly. Meanwhile mine was screaming until I ended up getting him out and holding him while I pushed the empty, very nice, expensive pram.

“Er, why not just leave him snoozing in his cot or moses basket?”

Yes, my baby naps in the carrier. Again, unlike this mum, my baby is not a big fan of his cot, or bassinet, or sleeping on his own in general. And no, I didn’t build a rod for my own back. My little velcro bub was like that from birth. Just hours after being born he would not sleep in his plastic hospital tub but wanted to be on mummy’s chest. And that was just fine by me.

Wearing my baby has kept us all sane. I’m so thankful for it and will absolutely continue to do it with future babies.

Just the other day I was able to spend a beautiful day hiking with my family while Jesse happily slept on my back in the carrier. My dad also had a go of carrying him and Jesse was giggling and having fun the whole time. Now, I couldn’t have done that with a pram!


I also get to see many other mum’s and bubs enjoy baby-wearing as a Kangatraining Instructor. From those that are avid wearers to those that have never worn their baby before, their babies are almost instantly calm once fitted correctly in a carrier.

So, lady who hates baby wearers, we don’t wear our babies because we’re hippies or because we love them more than you love yours or because we feel the need to have our babies permanently attached to us as you so eloquently put it.

We do it because we want to. Because it makes our little ones feel safe. Because sleep is kind of important. Because it’s more comfortable than balancing a baby on my hip all day.

Mamas, can’t we just celebrate that we all parent differently?

Instead of judging a mum who has mastered how to turn a long piece of material into an intricately tied carrier for their baby, give them a high five ‘cos that shit is tricky! Baby-wearing may not be everyone’s cup of tea. But who cares! We’re all just doing what’s best for our families. And that’s what is important.

Stop and Smell the Baby

Renee BartonLeave a comment

In the early days and weeks after having a baby so much time is invested just being in the moment. Countless hours spent staring at your new baby and breathing in that intoxicating new baby smell. Giggling at every new facial expression. Gently tracing their features with your finger and committing it all to memory. Stroking their perfect fingers and toes.

The laundry piling up doesn’t matter (because you hardly leave the house anyway). There’s no need for cooking because you’ve got frozen lasagne loaded in the freezer. And the dishes somehow get done either by a generous visitor or husband.

But eventually, life with a baby becomes the new normal. And as well as being mum we also need to be housekeeper, cook, business owner, wife and finance manager, just to name a few. There’s washing to hang out, emails to send and mouths to feed. It can be a lot. And sometimes we can forget to slow down. Stop and smell the baby.

A few nights ago I was putting Jesse to sleep, as I do most nights, when I was struck by just how special that time with him is. I admit, sometimes it can feel like a drag as I run through my mind all the things I need to do. I can find myself wishing my 1 year old was able to put himself to sleep like I hear so many other babies do.

And suddenly I felt that little pang in my heart. I felt yet again that perhaps I’d gotten bogged down in daily life and hadn’t stopped to really soak in that moment.

So, I cuddled him a little tighter, gently rocked back and forth as I whispered ‘I love you’ and ‘mummy’s here’. I kissed his head and drew in his sweet smell. It felt good.

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Now I know that I’m not always preoccupied and I definitely don’t take motherhood for granted. Most of my days are spent playing with my boy, feeding him, clothing him. I kiss him a hundred times a day and tell him I love him. I watch him learn and discover new things. I teach him things and sing songs with him. But I admit, like everyone, I sometimes become frustrated when I just need to send this email or just need to get these dishes done.

But every so often I’m reminded that maybe those other things can wait.And that sometimes, maybe I need to just stop and smell the baby.

When parents argue…

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

Couples argue. Couples fight. Couples don’t always see eye to eye. It really is just part of normal life when you’re in a relationship with someone.

Despite the fact that this blog is generally pretty positive (which is a conscious decision, as we think there is enough negativity out there already), we also have our own arguments and fights every now and again. And it has only been recently that I have come to notice something quite funny about the arguments and fights we have been having of late.

It has come as a bit of a revelation to me to discover that the subject of our arguments has changed. Where we once argued about everything from how to wash the clothes properly to money (yes, some of our arguments were that petty, but that said, aren’t all arguments???), we know exclusively argue about one thing…

JESSE!

It’s pretty funny when I think about it now. But all our fights are centred around Jesse and how we care and raise him. Hey, at least the dirty laundry gets a break from our sparring tongues.

And look, at the end of the day, we always kiss and have make up se… I mean kiss and make up. And at the time of the argument, it always feels like it’s about important issues that will shape the future of our family. But when the dust settles, we can usually sit back and laugh at just how ridiculous the fight was!

So what are some of the fights about I hear you ask. Well, you know, earth shattering stuff honestly. Here are some of the arguments we’ve had that I can recall us laughing about at a later date:

1. OMG… I THINK JESSE MAY HAVE SWALLOWED A CAT CLAW AND I THINK HE IS GOING TO DIE!!! While he did actually have the claw in his mouth, he didn’t end up swallowing it. And he obviously didn’t die. And after a phone call to 13 Health and being told she was an idiot for calling, Renee constantly likes to bring up that she was right and I was wrong.

2. DID JESSE JUST FALL OFF OUR BED? WHY WERE’NT YOU WATCHING HIM??? OMG, HE IS GOING TO DIE!!! He did actually fall out of bed. Renee felt really awful about it too. But alas, he survived through this one also. And apparently, babies falling out of beds is more common than I realised.

3. IS HE ALLOWED TO EAT THAT? IS THAT TOO BIG FOR HIM TO EAT? IS IT COOKED PROPERLY? IS IT COOL ENOUGH? IS IT TOO HOT? BECAUSE HE MIGHT DIE!!! Yes I tend to worry too much about silly things like this. But yes, Renee’s cooking is also that bad…

4. GOD… HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING TO LET HIM CRY FOR… JUST GIVE HIM SOME NUROFEN ALREADY!!! I did have to apologise for this one. In my defence, I had a late night and was really tired and I had to work the next day. Hey, I never said it was a good defence.

5. WHY ISN’T HE WALKING YET? WHY ISN’T HE TALKING YET? ARE WE DOING ENOUGH WITH HIM? DO WE NEED TO READ MORE? DO WE NEED TO PLAY MORE? IS HE DYING??? He isn’t dying. He is doing just fine. He has only just turned 1! Every baby is different!!!

So we are just like everyone else… we argue… we fight… maybe not about the same things we used to… But, we are just like everyone else out there.

And like I said, at the end of the day, we always come to realise that in this new adventure we’re on called parenting, we are doing just fine. We aren’t perfect parents. But then again, no-one is. But the way our little family is developing is just perfect.

So the next time you and your partner get into a fight about how you’re raising your kids… just remember that you’re probably not the first and you definitely won’t be the last parents to fight about exactly the same thing.

And just remember to forgive each other, so you can one day look back on those arguments and laugh. I know I sure will.

3 Ways for Mums to Beat The Winter Blues

Renee BartonLeave a comment

Staying active and motivated is challenging enough for mums with little ones and when winter sets in it is even harder.

But keeping up those great habits you worked so hard to create is key to keeping the winter blues at bay. Yes, its a real thing! Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a seasonal depression and most commonly occurs in winter.

So whether you are at risk of SAD or just need a little extra help to get moving in the cold, here are some simple tips especially for mums to beat the winter blues.

1. Write down one thing you want to accomplish the next day before you go to bed

As a new mum, some days just having a shower and practicing some basic hygiene feels like an accomplishment! But the simple act of writing down a goal for the next day and then achieving it will help to make you feel productive and good about yourself.

If you are like most mums and have about a dozen things swirling in your head at night, write them all down so that you can stop worrying about them. But don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t get them all done. Just move them to the next day’s list.

2. Get dressed and ready for the day by 9am

There will absolutely be times where you find yourself still in your pj’s at 4pm and that’s okay. But as a general rule, try to get dressed (yes, yoga pants and a sloppy joe count!), do your hair (yes, messy mum-bun counts!) and whatever else makes you feel ready for action by 9am.

3. Do something active each day

Finding the time to exercise can be tricky for mums. And just the thought of stripping off your warm and comfy slippers and robe to slide into your active wear and runners has you climbing back into bed. But the key here is to make it fun and be accountable to someone.

Partner up with a mummy friend or involve the whole family including dad as well. Booking into a fun group fitness program like Kangatraining (insert shameless plug here) is a great way to not only get active but to socialise with other like-minded mummies. While there is no shortage of activities to chose from, Kangatraining is a specific post natal workout run by mums, for mums. Kangatrainers are educated in post natal exercise, women’s health issues such as PND and weak pelvic floor, as well as safe baby wearing practices. Not to mention it recently won the award for best pre / post natal activity at the What’s On 4 Australia 2016 Junior Awards. Okay, I may be a little bias given that I am a trainer myself, but seriously, it’s awesome!

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Hopefully these ideas will help to keep your mojo flowing throughout the cool winter months. We all still have crappy days from time to time though, so don’t be too hard on yourself either.
Some days we just need to rock our pj’s, pour ouselves a glass of wine and binge watch an insanely ridiculous but oh-so-addictive tellie show.