Footage Friday: Jesse’s Big Boy Bedroom

So… it is getting closer and closer… and closer and closer… to the due date of Baby Barton #2.

Time is absolutely flying by at such a rapid pace that I feel like we only found out we were pregnant just the other day.

And as time ticks by, there is one thing that we have been meaning to do. And that is, to create a proper Big Boy Bedroom for Jesse.

Because the room he was using still looked and felt like a nursery, we figured the easiest option for us would be to turn the spare room into Jesse’s Big Boy Bedroom, and move him into there, rather than converting the nursery and having to shift two lots of furniture.

And so that brings us to Sunday, 27 January 2017. The day we finally committed to creating his bedroom… and wow, did it turn out great!!!

We are so happy with it. In fact, I’m a little jealous… I wish we had stuff like this for our bedrooms when I was a kid!!!

But we did… We finally bit the bullet, went to Ikea and Kmart, stocked up on flat packs and the necessary trimmings, and created what is now, Jesse’s Big Boy Bedroom.

I think it turned out pretty good too… If I don’t say so myself!

Preparing for my second labour

It is quite common for mum’s who have had a traumatic birth experience or one that didn’t go according to plan to be anxious about their subsequent labours.

I’m having the opposite dilemma. My first labour giving birth to Jesse was everything I could have hoped for and now I’m freaking out that the second time round won’t go as smoothly or live up to how I remember the first time. Ridiculous I know.

My first labour was relatively quick with about five and a half hours of active labour. I had very little intervention (my waters were broken at 4cm and I had to wear a heart rate monitor on my belly the whole time but that’s it). I managed to avoid any pain relief (I thought I was using the gas towards the end but turns out it was too late for that and the midwife only allowed oxygen to come through!). I was able to be mobile and use active labour positions like squatting and all fours throughout. And I didn’t tear! This was a huge fear of mine after 31 years of mum regaling me with the delightful tale of my birth.

The worst part (oh besides squeezing out a 2.7kg human from my vagina!) was the agonising back labour. That searing pain in my lower back with each contraction became almost unbearable. Here’s hoping I don’t get that again!

So now I’m preparing to labour for the second time and I’m praying I can do it all again as close to my birth plan as possible.

I’m drinking the raspberry leaf tea again, listening to my hypno-birthing meditations and affirmations and have just started prenatal yoga. Does any of it work? I don’t know.  But I did it last time so I’m doing it again!


I’m keeping as active as possible and viewing every activity as birth preparation. Simply walking is proving challenging at times but between Kangatraining, yoga and weight training I’m doing ok. This makes me sound like a bit of a fitness freak which I’m most definitely not. Because I’m also eating ALL THE FOOD!

So tell me your tips. How did you prepare for birth? Or did you find just winging it and trusting your body was the best option?

With roughly 10 weeks to go it is all getting very real. This threesome will soon be four.

Photo Friday: Baby Barton Number 2 Morphology Scan

Today, we had our morphology scan for Baby Barton number 2!

Wow… how great is it that we live in a world with such amazing technology!!!

We had forgotten how amazing and beautiful it is to be able to see a tiny human growing inside Renee’s tummy… hearing it’s tiny heartbeat… seeing it’s tiny feet and hands… seing it’s profile for the first time.

Wow… it’s starting to get real now…

Today I Cried

Parenthood is so wonderfully delicious. But sometimes it can be really bloody hard.

There have been some tough times in our house over the past couple of weeks. Jesse just wasn’t himself much of the time and we were all feeling burned out.

Thankfully, after the appearance of two lovely little molars and some much needed R&R for Mummy and Daddy, things seem to be getting back to normal.

But those hard bits inspired this…

Today I cried. And so did you.

I cried because I didn’t know what was wrong with you, my love. Because I couldn’t take away your pain or even know where it hurt. 

I cried because nothing I tried seemed to soothe you. 

I cried because for the first time I wanted, needed some time away from you. 

I cried because the flutter in my belly reminded me there will soon be another and I worried how I will cope in times like this with two. 

Today I cried.

I cried because when you felt better you smiled and laughed and played. 

I cried because you cuddled me tight and my heart lightened. 

I cried because the flutter in my belly reminded me there will soon be another. Bliss!

I cried. And I smiled. 


This Time Around

I just knew.

I couldn’t exactly put my finger on it, but I just had a feeling. So when the first couple of pregnancy tests came back negative I wasn’t bothered. A far cry from how I felt when I would get a negative test when trying the first time. I sensed that Kaine was feeling pretty confident this month too.

We had decided back in January that we wanted to get straight into trying for another baby. Jesse was 7 months old. It seemed a tad crazy but we had to be prepared that it might take a while again. Plus we knew that chances were slim straight away anyway because I was still breastfeeding and my cycle hadn’t yet returned.

Over the next few months we weaned and four cycles later I couldn’t shake the feeling that we had been successful. I took another test and a beautiful yet faint second pink line confirmed my suspicions. It only took four months… I swallowed hard at the realisation that I was now that woman that long term TTC’ers want to throat punch. I know all too well how that feels.

I couldn’t wait to surprise Kaine with the news, and I had a plan to do so the following day. So when he asked me if I had got my period yet, I lied. I could sense his disappointment which only fed my excitement to tell him.

Thankfully, it all went to plan and I surprised him with the news that Jesse was going to be a big brother.

this-time-around
One of many outtakes from our ‘Pregnancy Announcement Shoot’

Fast forward a bit over a week, I went to the doctor who confirmed the test result and I went for a dating scan. I left the scan feeling confident. There was a gestational sac, its not Ectopic, however, it is early days and there is not yet a foetal pole to measure. I’m told its normal for this early and to come back in about two weeks.

But the doubt starts to creep in. My mind races with questions. Is there no baby in there because there isn’t one? Suddenly I’m protective with the news. I was so excited to tell our immediate families but now, I’m not so sure. We keep it our little secret for a bit longer.

Fast forward a couple of months and the secret is out. All is going well, and now that I’m not feeling like crap all the time, the excitement is starting to kick back in.

This time around I think I’m both more excited, and more terrified. Excited because I know how wonderful having a baby and being a mum is, but terrified because I know how hard it is.

We could not be happier though. No doubt these next six months will fly by, but we will take joy in our time as a family of three while we wait for Baby Barton #2 to join us.

Guest Blogger: Sam Goodwin with ’12 Months with Twins’

Back in March of this year, we had the absolute pleasure to host a guest blogger right here on NSSLOU. That guest blogger was Sam Goodwin.

Sam told us her inspirational story of the birth of, and the first 6 months with, premature twins. You can read Sam’s blog post, ‘6 months in, 6 months out’ here.

Well, just in case you haven’t figured it out, this month her twins turn the big ONE! And we are delighted to have Sam back on our blog today, giving us an update on how things have been since her last guest blog, and what life is like now with one year old twins.

So again, please show Sam some love for the bravery to share her story publicly, and maybe we might be able to have more guest bloggers here on NSSLOU in the future.

You can find Sam on Facebook here and on Instagram here.

’12 Months with Twins’ by Sam Goodwin

Today my 24 weekers turn one!

This whole year has been a roller coaster ride that’s for sure.

After 104 days in hospital, we finally made it home. But we still had many issues we had to address in order to stay home.

Feeding issues and weight gain were our main struggles at first. Kalani and Keanu were tube fed breast milk in hospital until later in our stay where they were transitioned to bottle feeds. And let me tell you, it was no walk in the park!

Despite trying everything it was almost impossible to wake them for feeds. Plus, with Kalani having major jaundice, it was even harder to feed him.

It took us at least 1.5 months to actually feed properly! I thought for sure they had upper lip ties, reflux, colic…something that would explain it. But after many, many doctor visits they all said the same thing, “YOUR BABIES ARE FINE!”

Of course that didn’t sit well with me because I knew something was wrong. It’s just a motherly instinct. You never overlook it!

Though it wasn’t diagnosed my gut feeling was that my babies had colic, so I did get off the shelf medicines appropriate for their age to see if it made a difference. It was touch and go as I found these medicines did and didn’t work.

I spent hundreds of dollars trying different formulas and different types of milk only to find that nothing worked and reverted back to our original formula.

Soooooo, now we come to their sleeping habits… You know those mamas that have a baby who sleeps through from 6 weeks? Yeah, not my sons! We’ve had a heck of a ride when it came to our sleep… Oh let me just tell you!

We had an in home sleep consultant come out to our house and write up a plan that suited our family and lifestyle when they were 4 months corrected age. It worked for probably… hmm… 4 days!

I was so disappointed because I had such high hopes and I was extremely sleep deprived. I still am! So I really hoped we had a solution. I didn’t want to give up because let’s be real… A well rested mama is a great, great, great, great mama! And I wanted to be that mama!

So we tried desperately to get into sleep school at the Ellen Barron Family Centre. And then we finally got accepted when the boys were 6 months old.

Unfortunately, even that didn’t work for us.

The nurses at Ellen Barron called Keanu ‘El Toro the Bull’. He was absolutely horrid. OH BELIEVE ME, I KNOW! Still to this day he is an absolute bugger to put to sleep.

I spent countless hours patting, rocking, shooshing, rocking in the pram, driving around and around and cuddling my babies trying to get them to sleep. COUNTLESS hours! I’m blessed with the amount of hair I still have on my head as a result.

I had also tried…
Darkening their room, introducing soft music, swaddles, sleeping bags, co-sleeping, offering more milk, offering more food, adjusting their sleep times, adjusting their awake times, reading sleep books… Everything you can name, I did!

In the end, I just threw my hands up and said whatever, I’ll just deal with it. So hello, from a proud, tired, sleepless mama of twin boys who are terrible, terrible sleepers. Anyone else? Wanna join my club! There’s coffee! Lot’s of coffee!

So onto the health side of things…
As you know, Kalani and Keanu were born 24+5 weeks gestation. Because of this, we have had continuous check ups at Lady Cilento Children’s Hospital for both boys with the surgeon who performed their bowel surgeries.

They had noticed both boys testicles were too high and if by 12 months they haven’t dropped they would need further surgery.

Thankfully Keanu’s did drop into place, but Kalani isn’t as lucky as his little brother and we will be going back for surgery within the next 90 days.

HOPEFULLY… That will be the end of all the surgeries for my little guys. Because with this new surgery, that will make it number four for Kalani. It’s no biggy though! We’ve had worse! I just hope it works the first time. Hospitals make me uneasy and I don’t like being there any longer than I have to.

Babies get sick. And when your baby is sick everyone is sick, tired and miserable. Because the boys were so premature, they are prone to get everything and anything. Every week they’ve had a cold or the flu! High temps, ear infections. You name it. NO EXAGGERATION.

We had the worst of the worst a few months ago where Kalani came down with Norovirus and Salmonella food poisoning. Both… At the same time! It was such a horrible and exhausting 5 days in hospital. My little man couldn’t catch a break. And the worst part for me about that hospital stay was trying to tear myself into two again between my twins, with one in hospital and one at home.

BUT… With all the bad aside, we’ve also had some great times too.

The boys have developed their own unique personalities. Kalani is a soft, sensitive, curious cuddle bug, who roars and growls like a tiger. HE IS SUCH A MUMMIES BOY.

Keanu is a loud, outgoing dare devil with a twinkle in his eye who demands all the attention in the world. Just ask all the grandmas at Woolworths!

They are slowly but surely reaching their milestones too, with a little help from physiotherapy.

Keanu is now sitting to crawling, trying to pull himself onto furniture, saying dada and mama and can twinkle his fingers to twinkle, twinkle little star. And Kalani can too! (It’s their favourite song).

Kalani is sitting and commando crawling and saying dada. We find Kalani is about 2 weeks behind Keanu but we don’t mind because he’s still our little baby and he will catch up at his own pace.

Both boys love their food. They also LOVE painting, LOVE water play and absolutely LOVE other children and being out and about being social butterflies. But I guess you have to be social if you’re a twin right?

Everywhere we go people stop me 100 times. Twins are fascinating, I get it! But OMG, could you imagine having quadruplets?

– Are they twins?
– Are they identical?
– Are they both boys?
– Were they premature?
– Were they naturally conceived?
– Will you have anymore?

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, NO! (Joking)

– You must have your hands full?
– Double trouble!
– Twice the love!
– You are so blessed!

I have heard it all!

I say this however, being a first time mum has really tested me. I suffered severe PND (post natal depression) for the first 6 months of motherhood, that I have now managed to overcome.

I would cry at the drop of a hat and it was very tough on me to try and be the best mother to two little humans who had feeding, sleeping and medical issues. As well as dealing with whatever life wanted to throw at me too. Thankfully I had my mum, my sisters and my best friend to keep me grounded through my most darkest days, and give a helping hand.

I now really enjoy being a first time mama to twins. But sometimes, I wonder what it would be like to have a singleton for a day or two! I’ve adjusted quite well and I am more confident within myself and my babies, even if they don’t sleep and have no routine whatsoever. We just go with the flow.

People now ask me how I do it. I don’t know if I can answer that. I just do.

And because of this, it now just comes naturally.

Happy first birthday, Kalani and Keanu.

kk-12-months

Thanks Sam. We wish the boys a wonderful first birthday. And well done Mama, you made it!

*If you or someone you know is suffering from Post Natal Depression you can get information and help at www.panda.org.au