Tag: Stay at home mum

My week as a stay at home Mum

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

Last week, I took some recreation leave from work.

I would say that I had a weeks holiday, but as I quickly found out, it was about as far from a holiday as you could possibly get!

Let’s call it… ‘My Week As A Stay At Home Mum’.

Okay, let’s start at the beginning. Initially, I was thinking of just having the Friday off, as I was heading to the Broncos match Thursday night and considering I was planning on consuming one too many beers that night, I didn’t want to be hung over at work. I then offered my services to help Renee on Wednesday, and at that point I just though, bugger it, I’ll just take the week off instead.

So here I was coming out of the weekend excited about not having to go to work, and excited about a week of taking it easy and enjoying some down time. Well, after looking at the schedule I had been given I quickly realised that this week was going to be far from a relaxing weeks “holiday”. It turns out, that stay at home mums lead very busy lives. And it was my turn to experience the hectic, non-stop, balls to the wall existence that these mums live every… single… day…

So my schedule went something like this: Monday was play group. Tuesday was Kangatraining. Wednesday, Teddy Bear Picnic. Thursday, Kangatraining and footy. Friday was Music Class. Saturday I cleaned the house. And Sunday, we had Jesse’s third birthday party.

Holy f*** balls batman, how the hell do you mums do this every week!!!

Now I realise we only had one event on each day (except for Thursday, but the footy doesn’t really count), but the organisation, preparation, and even the wind down when you get home with two kids is exhausting! I literally required at least a 1 to 2 hour nap each day just to cope with the stress of it all!

It was non-stop. Like Liam Neeson in that movie… Non-Stop. It was like trying to navigate and escape a skyscraper on Christmas Eve with the name John McClane. It was like… well you get the idea… it was fully hectic as bro!

I know that I’m sort of joking around about it, but in all seriousness, it really was exhausting. I have joked on occasions to Renee that when I go to work every day it’s like my break from the kids, but it really is like that. I now have mad respect for those mums (and dads) who are full time stay at home parents, because it’s a tough job. It pays nothing. And it’s a 24/7 job.

So well played stay at home mums. I take my hat off to you.

The question from here however, is would I do it again? The answer, is absofreakinglutely. I loved every single minute being able to spend every waking minute with Renee, Jesse and Jasper. And I think they loved it too.

The Multi-Tasking Myth

Renee BartonLeave a comment

In today’s world multitasking is king. Women are commended for their ability to have a million things on the go at once and men are teased for their supposed lack of ability to focus on more than one thing at a time. 

But is multitasking really all that it’s cracked up to be? 

I hear from many women, mum’s in particular, that it is utterly exhausting and quite often ineffective to have so much on our plates. Just the mental dialouge and to do lists alone are wearing us out. We’ve been raised to believe we can have it all; a successful career, fulfilling family, a body like Michelle Bridges and a sex life out of an episode of Sex and the City. But can we really?

Maybe we can. Just not at the same time. 

I recently read ‘Happy Mama’ the guide to finding yourself again by Amy Taylor-Kabbaz. In the chapter on Grace, Amy talks about the ‘multi-tasking trap’ and it really struck a chord with me. She dared to suggest that multitasking doesn’t work and that it was actually the “source of most of my meltdowns, most of my tears and most of my shameful mummy moments”. 

As Amy went on to give some examples, it was as if I’d written it myself. The times when I have lashed out at my husband or kids is usually when I’m trying to do too many things at once. Cook dinner, send business emails, show interest in my husband’s work day, soothe a hungry baby and make a bottle for an impatient toddler all at the same time. Not to mention the internal dialogue that’s constantly screaming in my head, reminding me to pay that bill, put a load of laundry on, text my friend who’s had a rough day and what groceries we’re running out of.

Arrggghh….just writing it stresses me out.

In the book Amy says that she learned to be ‘mindful’ (isn’t that the word of the day!), to be aware of her thoughts and focus on one thing at a time. Giving that moment her full attention. She goes on to give examples of reaching for her phone while breastfeeding instead of soaking in the special time with baby or reading a bedtime story but not actually hearing the words you’ve read, as your mind is too busy thinking of other things. 

I’m reading this getting all geed up. Yes! I’m going to be mindful. I’m going to focus my attention on one thing at a time. I’m going to be present and available for my children. And then a thought hit me. How the hell am I supposed to get anything done!?!

If I can’t read while I’m breastfeeding or send emails while cooking dinner or write my shopping list while playing with my toddler then when can I? When everyone’s asleep at night? Then when the hell do I sleep??

Multitasking might be the enemy and cause of our stress but maybe it’s the only way to fit it all in sometimes?

I don’t have the answer to this dilemma. And maybe there isn’t one. I suppose it comes down to what’s important vs what’s urgent.  

And what’s important to me is that my husband and children feel valued and not constantly battling for my attention. 

On that note, time to put the phone down and turn off the internal dialogue for a few minutes. It’s time to go give my big boy a piggy back and make silly faces at my baby to make him laugh. 

You know, the important things ❤️

Just Another Parenting Blog?

Renee BartonLeave a comment

“Oh no! Have we become just another parenting blog?”

We have started brainstorming some updates to our social media branding when I realised that, despite our best intentions, NSSLOU has basically become all about our life as parents. 

But you know what, this is the chapter that we are in right now and it’s all encompassing. It’s different and hard and fun and it’s who we are at this point in our lives. Mummy and Daddy. 

And I don’t apologise at all for that. 

We may not be out seeing the world exploring and adventuring, but we are having adventures of different kind. And we will get back to being those jet-setting, cocktail-sipping people again eventually. Hopefully. 


But for now I’m the Mum whose Insta feed is basically a shrine to my kids, whose shirt is usually spit-up or milk stained and who doesn’t venture too far from home because you never know how car trips are going to turn out. 

We are the 30-somethings spending most nights at home navigating bath time and dinner prep. And instead of partying or camping on weekends you’ll usually find us playing in the backyard or spending time with family. 


For now we are just ordinary people. A husband, a wife. And a parenting team just trying to raise exceptional children and keep our shit together as much as possible. 

So to all the other 30-somethings out there that are knee deep in nappies and whose lounge rooms look more like a day care centre than a Kmart catalogue. We get you. And hopefully our musings bring you some relief. 

We’ll meet you at the pool bar in say….15 years. 

Things I’m rediscovering with baby #2

Renee BartonLeave a comment

It was only a couple of years ago that we had our first baby but my how quickly you forget things. Well, you never really forget but more so you get focused on the current challenges and milestones of whatever stage they’re in. But now we are in the thick of baby life yet again, and I am rediscovering all the things I’d forgotten about.

Like the endless rotation of clothing. This baby is constantly either shitting or spewing all over what he’s wearing! I swear he goes through about 4 outfits a day. Not to mention my constant need to change from being spewed or shat on! Ok, if i’m honest, you’ll often find me wearing vomit or milk stained clothes because there’s just no point changing AGAIN! And why is it that we always pack a change of clothes for them but never for us??

Then there’s those delightful car trips with a screaming baby. Yup, we’ve got one of those again. I feel like I’ve built up a better tolerance to it this time around but if we go somewhere as a family and Kaine is in the car too, cue extreme stress levels and arguments every time. Men just can’t seem to handle it can they? At least we now know that screaming bloody murder on car trips will eventually give way to 11pm drives to get the kid who now magically loves the car to sleep.

Perhaps my favourite is the little discoveries baby makes. Like finding his hands and feet. Jasper has been marvelling at his fists for a while now and is just starting to lift his beautiful chubby legs up in the air. He is also finding his voice and squealing with delight. Gosh I love this stage so much. 

I’m being reminded how sweet a sound baby giggles are and how you’ll do just about anything to win one. From silly faces and baby talk to tickling and singing made up songs. But it’s so worth it every time I hear his laugh and see his heartbreakingly cute dimples and puffy cheeks. 

 
I’m also remembering how frustrating and disheartening it is to have a crying baby you just can’t seem to soothe. It’s agony. But thankfully we haven’t had many times like that yet. 

I don’t ever want to forget these moments and I know just how fleeting they are. One blink and they’re suddenly having conversations with you and getting hair cuts and demanding mnm’s for breakfast. 

If only we could hold onto our little babies forever. 

Footage Friday: 3 Months Postpartum Update

Renee BartonLeave a comment

I managed to get a few minutes to sit and record our three month postpartum update. 

It’s a little update on how mum and Bub are doing. And it’s only about a month late so we’re doing well!

*Yes, there is a bit cut out of the video about how Jesse is adjusting to the new addition. My bad! But rest assured he’s coping just fine. My editing skills however…

Photo Friday: World Breastfeeding Week

Renee BartonLeave a comment

It is World Breastfeeding Week so we wanted to share some of our favourite photographs of feeding our boys. Some of these are very candid and not at all glamorous but they are real life. 

I am incredibly fortunate to have breastfed Jesse for 10 months and I’m now 3 months in with Jasper. It will always be really special to me. 


I think this photograph really showcases those first few days with a new baby. No top and squishy belly. 


Those first few weeks weren’t without challenges though. For the first 9 days of his life feeding Jesse often looked like this. Using a supply line to formula feed from a syringe tube. A finger in his mouth to help improve his suck. 


The formula ‘top ups’ we thought we’re temporary weren’t. But our tiny boy grew healthy and strong.


At about 20 minutes old Jasper had his first breastfeed. And unlike his brother, his latch was perfect and his suck was strong. I distinctly remember the elation I felt and how proud I was in that moment. 


One thing I am stoked about this time around is mastering the lying down feed. It has allowed me to get so much more sleep. I never did with Jesse. Partly because he woke much more frequently throughout the night and partly because I had to prepare formula bottles after every breastfeed.


And this one is one of my favourites. Breastfeeding forces us to slow down. To take a breath and be present in the moment. It gives us an opportunity to gaze at our Bub, stroke their heads and commit every tiny feature to our memory. This is sometimes difficult to do with a toddler also needing your attention but I love just sitting with Jasper and watching him while he drinks. 

I’m not going to lie, sometimes it can feel like a chore. But it really is a gift to be able to nourish, comfort, heal and grow our beautiful babies. 

Another Fourth Trimester: A Love Letter to My Second Son

Renee BartonLeave a comment

Where did the last three months go? Oh yes, that’s right in a blur of life with a newborn and a toddler.

As Jasper reaches 12 weeks old I can’t help feeling a tinge of sadness. I’m saying goodbye to another blissful fourth trimester spent with another gorgeous (not so) little boy. I swear I could keep doing pregnancy, birth and newborn days over and over I love it so much.


This time around was different to the first, but every bit as wonderful. Though my days were more toddler wrangling and attention dividing as apposed to ‘Netflix and Chill’ and afternoon naps, seeing Jesse’s growing affection and love for his little brother totally made up for it.


I definitely feel like I’ve slept more this time around but I could just be more accustomed to sleep deprivation nowadays. I think having a bigger baby and learning to breastfeed lying down have definitely helped.

And so as we reach this milestone I again write another love letter, this time to my second son.

To my chubba bubba Jasper,

You are such a delight, my love. Your squishy cheeks and your kissy lips melt me every day. And the way you lock eyes with me makes me feel like the luckiest mummy in the world.

No longer a newborn, but really you haven’t been one for quite some time. You outgrew your newborn nappies in less than two weeks and you have been wearing ‘crawler’ size since eight weeks old! You are already filling out 00 clothing, much of which was worn by your big brother but when he was six months old, not three!

It’s very obvious you feed well my little milk monster. And I just love how easy and calm feed time is with you.


You rushed into the world on the very day you were due. It was a beautiful, intense experience I will never forget. I will never forget our first night together when you just slept and pooped the entire night. I will never forget that you were such a noisy sleeper that mummy didn’t get a wink! And I didn’t mind one bit.


You lived in my tummy for nine months and have now been earth-side for three. Over the last three months I have loved getting to know you, cuddling and kissing you. From a noisy newborn to now, a giggling, big three month old. I could kiss your chubby cheeks all day long. And sometimes do.

Jasper James, you are such a precious addition to our family, my sweet boy.

A couple of hours after you were born I stepped into the shower with a smile on my face and whispered “I am so blessed”. And I truly am. Though some days are hard I would not have my life any other way.

Thank you ,darling, for choosing us.

Read my first fourth trimester experience here.

Footage Friday: Baby Loves Early Mornings

Renee BartonLeave a comment

We love to look back on the little moments we have captured in our lives. Especially of Jesse as he is growing up. 

This video was captured when he was about 4 months old. One of the precious moments shared by Mum and Bub in the wee hours one morning. 

It’s so special to relive this time in our lives. And it makes me so excited to create new memories like this when we get to know our new little Bub soon. 

Today I Cried

Renee BartonLeave a comment

Parenthood is so wonderfully delicious. But sometimes it can be really bloody hard.

There have been some tough times in our house over the past couple of weeks. Jesse just wasn’t himself much of the time and we were all feeling burned out.

Thankfully, after the appearance of two lovely little molars and some much needed R&R for Mummy and Daddy, things seem to be getting back to normal.

But those hard bits inspired this…

Today I cried. And so did you.

I cried because I didn’t know what was wrong with you, my love. Because I couldn’t take away your pain or even know where it hurt. 

I cried because nothing I tried seemed to soothe you. 

I cried because for the first time I wanted, needed some time away from you. 

I cried because the flutter in my belly reminded me there will soon be another and I worried how I will cope in times like this with two. 

Today I cried.

I cried because when you felt better you smiled and laughed and played. 

I cried because you cuddled me tight and my heart lightened. 

I cried because the flutter in my belly reminded me there will soon be another. Bliss!

I cried. And I smiled.