We’re back: Christmas & New Year Wrap Up (no pun intended)

And we’re back!

We kind of fell off the radar for a while there amongst the Christmas and New Year black hole. Those two weeks where you don’t even know what day of the week it is and you wind up eating and drinking waaaay too much!

So here’s a little catch up…

Jesse’s first Christmas was so enjoyable. He received loads of pressies from family and friends though he mostly just enjoyed eating the wrapping paper! He got an extra special gift on Christmas morning… the most adorable, (and sharp!) little, white toothy-peg peering up from his bottom gum.

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We followed that up with our annual New Year’s trip to the Bunya Mountains. We basically ate ourselves stupid for 5 days and enjoyed the company of some family in one of the many beautiful houses there. See what we got up to here.

Let me just say, staying up until midnight to greet the new year is certainly a lot more difficult these days. Perhaps the last seven months of broken sleep and a significant decrease in alcohol intake has something to do with it!

Despite that though, we did manage to ring in 2016 and it is shaping up to be an incredible year.

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We have already kicked off the year with some spring cleaning (is it still called that if it is in 30 degree summer heat?) at home starting with our home office. After it being the place I spent eight hours a day for the last five years working as a business consultant (before becoming a Mum), I will not be returning to my job next month as we had originally planned.

Instead I will be embarking on an exciting new venture with Jesse as my business partner. More on that to come but we are very excited and for us as a family, it feels like one of those opportunities that crops up at just the right time and though completely different to the original plan, ends up being a perfect fit.

We also have some big plans for NSSLOU this year too. We thank you so much for supporting us so far. With so much content on the interweb we really do appreciate you taking the time to read our little diddies and share your personal experiences and words of encouragement with us.

When we started this project we wanted to create something unique. A space to not only share our parenting experiences but also bring together all elements of our life: parenthood, married life, work, fun, travel and adventure as a collective that is the ‘Not So Secret Life Of Us’. In the hopes that we might be able to bring a little bit of sunshine to your day, make you laugh (or cry) and maybe provide us all with a little bit of comfort that we aren’t the only ones when it comes to life’s many twists and turns. So hopefully we are doing that and can continue to as we embark on the second half of our first year as parents.

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We are so excited for the year ahead. We hope in amongst all the festive season fun you too have found some time to reflect on the year that was and plan for 2016. Give yourself permission to dream up some weird and wonderful goals for the year and make it your best year yet!

Happy New Year!

Our Baby’s Milestones: Terrified of Missing Out

It is Monday morning on August 10, 2015. It is 9:50 am.

My iPhone buzzes on my desk beside me. The buzzing sound that is all too familiar to me now. It is letting me know that someone has sent me a text message.

I unlock my iPhone and as I click into my Messages app, a video pops up on my screen. A video that Renee has sent me of our little Jesse. The video that you can see below.

It’s not the first time I’ve received a video or photo of Jesse from Renee, and I know it won’t be the last. And I will say this… I love getting sneaky little text message or Snapchat updates from Renee showing me what they are getting up to throughout the day. I actually really look forward to it, receiving photos and videos, so I can see our little Jesse while I am at work.

However, after receiving the video of Jesse from Renee on that Monday morning, something really terrified me. And that something has been constantly pulling at the back of my mind ever since receiving that video. Something that I haven’t been able to articulate, but will attempt to with this blog post.

I am absolutely terrified of missing out on important milestones in Jesse’s development and in his overall life.

Let me say this, I know that I’m not the only working dad/parent out there. And I know that I’m not the first, and certainly won’t be the last, to feel like this.

But that doesn’t make it any less real for me.

I was sitting there watching back the video of my first child, my son, my little Jesse smiling away and almost letting out his first giggle. I had a smile on my face from ear to ear and little tears were welling in my eyes at the pure joy I felt watching him smiling and being so happy. But then this wave of fear washed over me.

What if I’m not there for the time he let’s out his first little giggle? What if I’m not there the first time he laughs or to hear his first word? What if I’m not there when he rolls over for the first time? Crawls for first time? Takes his first steps?

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I was terrified and angry and disappointed and sad, at the very real chance that I may not be there to witness some of these milestones. That I may be at work and have to watch his first giggle through the screen of an iPhone. Or that I may be held up on public transport and have to witness the first time he crawls on the screen of our laptop when I get home.

As far as milestones in the life of a baby, some of these might only be small ones. But to me, they’re all important. Jesse’s first giggle to me, is just as important as his first word. And the first time he rolls over is just as important as his first step.

Now I know that work is where I need to be right now. I know that I need to step up into the role of being the provider for our family. And I know that Renee is forever thankful that I have taken on this responsibility, as she has conveyed in her blog post ‘An Open Letter to Dads Returning to Work’.

But at the end of the day, even though I know I won’t entirely miss these milestones (that is the beauty of technology these days), I still can’t seem to shake that distant feeling of disappointment that I may very well not be there to witness some of them first hand. All I can say is that I am extremely thankful that we are in a position that has allowed us to extend Renee’s time away from work so that one of us will be there to witness and capture these amazing moments in Jesse’s life.

It makes me think however, that I feel sorry for all the new parents out there where both mum and dad had to return to work early. As there is a real possibility that they may both miss some of these special times in a baby’s life.

Like I mentioned earlier, I know that I’m not the only working dad/parent out there that has felt like this at one stage during parenthood, and I know I won’t be the last.

But maybe, just maybe… by writing down these thoughts someone, somewhere, might realise that they aren’t alone in feeling like this. Let’s all cherish the time we have with our children, because there will be moments that we will all inevitably miss out on.