The Lonely Hours

Some nights canΒ get pretty lonely when you’re up with a newborn. The repitition of feeding, changing and settling every few hours can be trying. Especially during those nights when all you want to do is sleep.

Don’t get me wrong, Kaine is absolutely supportive and a massive help. In fact, he couldn’t be more hands on both with Jesse and with keeping the household running. But there is only so much he can do without boobs! And we agreed from the beginning that it doesn’t make sense for us to both be sleep deprived so I take the night shift while he sleeps.

I know that I can wake him if I really need to but I try to avoid that. A well rested husband means he is able to help more during the day while he’s still home with us and it will be even more important once he goes back to work in a few weeks.

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I know I am very lucky really. For the most part Jesse is really good through the night. He generally feeds well and now we get close to 3 hours sleep between feeds. But there are some tough times when he fusses at the breast or takes a long time to settle. And then there’s those pesky cluster feeds!

It’s during those times that I am comforted by the thought that other Mums all over the place, and even in the same street as me, are up doing exactly the same thing; looking after their beautiful babies and probably while their husband sleeps!

So my question to other Mums out there is, how do night shiftsΒ work in your house?

Let’s share our strategies and stories so we can all feel a little less alone when we are sitting with our boobs out at 3am on a winter night. And for all you Dads out there, we’d love to hear your perspective too.

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5 thoughts on “The Lonely Hours

  1. My husband sleeps through anything, so I had to get used to him waking up next to the baby and me, asking: “How was the night?” I agree that when you’re breastfeeding it doesn’t make much sense for the dad to wake up as well. But I have to admit there were some nights that I woke him up after all and he had to rock and comfort the little one. I was just too tired after weeks and weeks of waking up every hour and a half. Now I’ve just had my first night in a different room in order to stop breastfeeding (https://newthingchallenge.wordpress.com/2015/06/17/day-166-baby-blues-take-two/). And guess what, I’m already missing that incredibly close connection I had with my baby in the early hours of the morning when everyone else was sleeping.

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    • You are so right Lena, as hard as it can be sometimes it is such special time for just mum and bub in the quiet hours of the night. And I must admit, I do love snuggling back in bed with Jesse by side. We both get our best sleep when together. I imagine that first night apart will be bitter sweet.

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      • Yes, very bitter sweet. But then I woke up this morning and took him out of his bed and he just snuggled up to me more tightly than ever before and everything was lovely again…
        Moral of the story – our lives as mums will be forever changing but there will always be something to look forward to when saying goodbye to something else.

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  2. I was on the same page. Breastfeeding while dad sleeps. I found the hardest part was getting out of bed and once you were up and latched I sat there wondering it wasn’t that bad and what was I upset about. Some nights I would find myself kicking the sheets off almost in a tantrum not wanting to get out of bed but that moment when baby is sucking and you are looking down at them is magic and so special and brief. Motherhood is about you do what you have to do to survive even if it means taking it in turns with baby with ear muffs on.

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    • So True. For the first two weeks I was feeding in bed but that wasn’t really working. Though warm, it was tough to be awake next to a sleeping husband. And it meant he had a broken sleep too. So I’m now utilising my awesome nursing chair in the nursery. It’s much more comfortable and like you say, not that bad one your set and gazing down at your beautiful baby.

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