Author: Kaine Barton

The real side of parenting…

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People are often criticised for only sharing the happy parts of life on social media.

Whether it’s happy go lucky posts on Facebook, or an Instagram feed that is carefully curated to make the rest of us jealous of a seemingly perfect life, there is a constant wave of people shouting for everyone to be more real!

Well, for us, it doesn’t get much realer than this!

Me… sitting in the hallway at 11pm, eyes closed with a bottle in my hand while Jesse kicks and screams his way through yet another night terror behind the wall just to my right. Sitting in that exact spot because if I move even an inch closer or further away from him, the screaming only gets louder!

Sitting there… a combination of tired, defeated, angry, sad, worried and helpless as Jesse fights his way through his terror.

Sitting there, knowing there is nothing I can do but wait, and pray that he comes over, takes his bottle and climbs back into bed.

Sitting there, feeling like a failure…


We certainly haven’t been shy when it comes to writing about our negative experiences as we stumble our way through parenthood… But I also know that I am also guilty of trying to keep things as positive as I can. And one look of my Instagram feed will confirm that.

So when Renee shot off a quick photo to capture this moment… this “real” moment… no fancy clothes, no fancy lighting, no fancy editing… as I sat there trying not to feel defeated as a parent, I knew I had to share it!

This, is what is real for us! Not every night. Not always this bad. But it’s our reality and it’s one that we’ve had to learn to embrace.

However, while we are certainly happy to share this reality with you, I don’t necessarily think those who like to keep positive Facebook pages or colourful and happy Instagram feeds aren’t being real!

You don’t have to be controversial, swear, belittle your kids and/or partner or share inappropriate photos to be real!

You just have to be you…

And when you too are up late at night, trying to calm or soothe your crying child, just remember, that you are not alone! You aren’t a failure! And you will get through this!

And at the end of the day, when they wake up the next morning, happy and playful, you will know that you’ve done your job!

Let’s talk about night terrors…

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Let’s talk about Night Terrors!

This little guy looks pretty content this morning… happily guzzling his bottle as he watches some early morning ABC Kids. In fact, he has been his happy normal self this morning.I wish we could say the same about our little Jesse during the night.


Unfortunately, it would appear that throughout the past two nights, Jesse had been suffering from night terrors! And it is absolutely horrible!!!

On a couple of occasions through both nights, Jesse has ‘woken up’ and started screaming, and kicking and thrashing about in a trance-like state that we just couldn’t seem to snap him out of. And the reason I put ‘woken up’ like that, is because according to the literature we’ve read, he actually isn’t awake.

Night terrors are most easily explained as being caught in between wakefulness and sleep. Essentially, the brain disconnects from the body when we sleep, but when someone is having a night terror, it essentially means that there is an incomplete disconnect. This is why Jesse looks awake and his eyes are wide open, but really, they are mostly asleep and completely oblivious to their surroundings.

And unfortunately for parents of kids who suffer from night terrors, there isn’t a hell of a lot we can do!

The best course of action is to let them ride it out themselves. Night terrors can last anywhere between 5 – 20 minutes. Which does mean if your child is showing symptoms for as long as 20 minutes, it can be quite upsetting for the parents. But, unfortunately for parents, trying to sooth your child, or touch them, or wake them, or talk to them can often make the terrors worse.

While we didn’t realise Jesse was suffering from night terrors two nights ago, after some research and taking to a doctor, we were better prepared last night in case we had a repeat. But, despite being prepared for another episode (which did eventually come at about 11pm), we still felt helpless and upset that Jesse was thrashing around and on the verge of hyperventilating, yet we couldn’t do anything to help.

I guess the best thing (if there is any upside to night terrors) is that children who get them don’t remember what has happened the next day. Which is why Jesse has woken up in his happy, chipper self.

I sometimes wish that we parents had the ability to not remember what happened either.

We officially think night terrors SUCK!!! And with some of the literature we’ve read saying most kids outgrow night terrors by the age of 12, we can only hope that Jesse doesn’t have them for that long.

If you would like some more information on night terrors, we found this article very helpful: Month 21 Worry: Why does my toddler wake up screaming?

Photo Friday: First days at home…

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Wow, what a whirlwind the past week as been.

And now, we have a brand new human at home that we are fully responsible for (why did the hospital let us go home?!).

The first days at home have been surreal, but also amazing, as Jasper, Jesse, Renee and I all bond and bind as a foursome instead of a threesome.

Also, I think we have the cutest baby on earth at home with us (slightly biaised opinion of course).



Falling in love all over again…

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The morning started like any other morning has over the past week and a half. I slowly opened my eyes as my senses alerted me to the light of the morning sun starting to peek through the blinds and the sounds of birds chirping and early morning mowing rolled through the bedroom.

Like most mornings, I quickly came to realise that Jesse was laying in bed next to me. Rolling over to face him I began to watch his chest rising and falling with each breath. His tiny little mouth slightly open and letting out little snore like sounds. His whispy hair flicking back and forth as the fan oscillated back and forth.

Renee was still sleeping. Breathing the heavy breaths of a woman who is 39 weeks pregnant and constantly exhausted. Sleeping soundly because at that moment, she wasn’t experiencing the contractions that have kept her awake some nights.

It was peaceful. It was serene. And I didn’t want to disturb what was such a beautiful moment.

So I lay there. Awake, but as still as I could be. I lay there and found myself staring at Jesse… his eyes… his ears… his tiny little mouth and lips… his whispy blonde hair… his red, puffy cheeks… his nose…


I stared at him, wondering how we came to create such an amazing little person… How did we create this gorgeous, spirited, amazing little man that has captured our hearts so much?

I stared at him until I realised I was falling in love with him all over again.

It was almost like an out of body experience. Like I was floating above watching myself staring at this tiny little human that was silently sleeping in between us. It felt like a dream. Like it wasn’t quite real and that I needed to reach out and touch him just to make sure he was real and he was truly ours.

But I didn’t need to. Because he is real. He is ours. He is the cheeky little monkey that we have  grown to love more and more each day over the past 22 months.

And then he opened his eyes and all of a sudden, those gorgeous blue eyes were staring back at me, like he knew what I was doing all along.

The countdown begins…

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The countdown has begun.

The countdown to my last day of work before I start my leave to welcome Baby Barton #2 into this world has begun.

And damn I’m getting excited!

Thursday, 6 April 2017 will be my last day at work for the next 6 weeks. That’s right… the start of 6 weeks of holidays leave is almost here. But while I may not be at work, I will still have plenty of work to do!

I wish I could say that it’s going to be a holiday… but those of you who have had the pleasure of having a newborn at home know that a lot of the time, it’s the farthest thing from a holiday! Throw into the mix the fact that we already have a toddler and that we will for a few weeks have the distinct pleasure of having two under two… it’s sure to be a recipe for disaster! Or that’s at least what I’m preparing myself for.

Nah… in all honesty, I’m really looking forward to it. At the end of the day, it will be some much needed family time together, without the stresses and distractions of work. We will just have to deal with a different type of stress… the stress of a newborn.

With all that said, it still doesn’t quite feel all that real as yet. I mean, all the signs are there… we’ve completed the new nursery for Baby Barton #2. We’ve washed the tiny baby clothes we had away in storage. Renee’s belly is growing by the minute… but it still doesn’t feel like we are going to have another tiny little baby in our arms any week now. It still feels as though it hasn’t fully sunk in as yet.

Another baby? Really? Is it actually going to happen?


Of course it’s going to happen… maybe it just hasn’t sunken in yet because I’m still so focused on other things. But it’s going to happen!

The big question from here is… when is it going to happen?

Well, the official due date is 19 April 2017. But, Renee is currently full term and with our last pregnancy, Jesse decided he wanted to meet the world early. So what about this time around… well, I am going on the record with the following predictions…

Baby Barton #2 will be a girl, born on 12 April 2017, weighing in at 6lb 5oz and will be 51cm in length.

It won’t be too long before we find out if my predictions are right!

10 things you may not know about us…

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Wow… what a journey it’s already been on this ride we call the ‘Not So Secret Life Of Us’.

Last week, we posted on Facebook that we had almost hit 600 likes. We promised that when we did hit that magic 600 likes, that we would release a special video to celebrate.

Well, we did it! We hit 600 likes! WOOO HOOO!!! That is 600 of you out there in internet land that have taken the time out of your busy lives to visit our humble little page, read our humble little blog or watch our humble little YouTube channel. And for that, we say thank you.

So, as was promised, here is the special video for the celebration of this wonderful milestone! A video that we had enormous fun filming and editing. A video that we are actually quite proud of. A video that we enjoying watching back as much as we enjoyed filming.

A video called, ’10 things you may not know about us…’

Again, thank you to everyone who has supported us on any of the many social media platforms we use. We really do appreciate it.

Enjoy the video…

Kaine & Renee

Hi! My name is…

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So as you would all be well aware, Baby Barton #2 is literally only weeks away from gracing us with its presence. And along with all the planning and preparation couples need to do when they are expecting a new bundle of joy, comes one of if not the most important thing that needs to be considered and agreed on before the arrival of any baby.

Names!

That right… what you decide to call your new addition to the family is probably one of the biggest decisions you’ll make in your life… right there behind deciding to have kids in the first place!

I mean, just think about it. You are responsible for naming a human! NAMING THEM!!! This boy or girl will be stuck with this name for the rest of their life… that is assuming it’s not something ridiculous like North West that the child will probably change by law when they’re an adult! What a responsibility.

And I can tell you right now, that choosing names for the arrival of your impending child is bloody hard!

There are so many things you need to think about when choosing a name for you baby. Things like… spelling of the name. Do you go for something common, or uncommon? Classic or modern? Do you give them a middle name? Will the name stand the test of time? Will it sound odd calling a grown adult by the name you choose for your child? What do the initials spell out (especially if you give your child a middle name)?

There’s so much to think about that it sometimes gets a little overwhelming and you just kind of sweep it under the rug with the intention of dealing with it later. Except, there comes a point in time when you can’t sweep it under the rug any longer. There comes a point where you need to finalise your list and decide on the names you like. Because otherwise, you’ll have a nameless baby!

And this is currently the problem we are having in our household. Choosing names we both like for both sexes… because for some reason… someone didn’t want to find out the sex of the baby!

When we first started looking at names for Baby Barton #2 we thought it would be easy. We agreed on a list of 3 options for both girls and boys for when Jesse was born. We just had it working like a well-oiled machine.

But this time around… oh dear. We just can’t decide on anything. We have a number of girls names we like, but are still tossing up what to do for the middle name.

But… we don’t have any boys names we are absolutely in love with. Not a single one. And then on top of that, we have no middle names for the boys either. Even the ones we had on the list when Jesse was born we now don’t like. So if we ended up with another boy currently, we’d be screwed!

The other big problem we have, is the whole, well this name would be cute for a little girl, but is anyone really going to take a grown woman seriously with that same name?

YOU SEE!!! THIS SH*T IS HARD!!!

I do know one thing though… we need to get this sorted out sooner rather than later! Because if we don’t come up a list of names that we both agree on and love soon, we will be in big trouble! I mean, we can’t call it Baby Barton #2 forever… … … or can we?

Photo Friday: Sick bubba… 😢

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So as you know from our last post… our little guy is one sick bubba. And it didn’t seem like he was getting any better.

Well, after two doctors visits we finally have an answer. Poor little Jesse is currently fighting through a case of Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease!

Yup, that’s right, Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease is the worst. Vomiting… diarrhoea… lethargy… Jesse is certainly not enjoying himself. And I know exactly how he feels, because I’ve had the pleasure of having caught this disease myself as an adult. Renee is now the only one in our house to not have to suffer the effects of the most unfortunately named disease out there.

I mean come on… how awful of a name is Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease!

So unfortunately, all we can do is make Jesse as comfortable as we can while he fights it off. It means plenty of paracetamol, keeping up his fluids as best we can, and letting him sleep it off.

Which is exactly what he’s been doing for most of today.


Get better soon little buddy… we miss your cheeky smile and bubbly outlook to life! 😢