Category: 365 Project

Babies and Capsules and Car Trips….Oh My!

Renee Barton2 Comments

The day we brought Jesse home from hospital was a magical day.

After spending those first few days cooped up within hospital walls trying to figure everything out it was an incredible feeling to finally be leaving with our beautiful bundle. The sun was shining and we were both grinning from ear to ear. And our gorgeous, tiny baby boy was snug in his carrier in the back seat of the car and didn’t make a sound the whole way home.

Over those first few weeks when we managed to venture out of the house we were so proud of ourselves, it all seemed so easy with a newborn.

But something is different. Something has changed.

I now feel dread every time I even think about having to put the boy in his car seat and drive somewhere.

Nothing raises the blood pressure quicker or the stress levels faster than being in a car with a screaming, petrified 3 month old.

Oh yes, those days of a tiny, sleeping newborn in the back seat are over and now it is like we have an entirely different child.

And I have tried everything. Talking to him in soft, soothing tones, playing relaxation music, playing classical music for babies (which by the way sounds god-awful and only adds to the stress), playing motivational audios, singing to him, giving him toys – nothing has worked!

Our car trips as a family have resulted in one of us sitting in the back with him, dummy and bottle at the ready. Which seems to work well. He even drifts off to sleep a lot of the time. But when it is just me… a 15 minute car trip is suddenly my worst nightmare.

I thought babies love going in the car. It puts them to sleep right? Wrong! Well not ours anyway. I guess I should consider myself lucky in that I don’t need to drive my kid around the block at 3am because its the only way to get him to sleep.

As frustrating as it is I really can’t blame the poor little guy. He’s scared. It is dark back there, he is strapped down at an awkward angle and though he can hear mummy he can’t see her.

When I swoop in to rescue him he has worked himself up into a hot sweat and the look of sheer terror on his face breaks my heart. I undo the seatbelt as quickly as I can and hold him close whispering reassuring words into his little ears.

I can only imagine how scared he feels back there but boy, I really hope this phase ends… soon!

One remedy I have heard of is printing out a giant photo of mum’s face and sticking it up where baby can see it.

So if you happen to walk past a car in the car park and see a woman’s big smiling face taped to back seat, it’s me. A desperate mother willing to try anything to stop her baby screaming his lungs out in the car.

If you have any other ideas or if you too have a baby crying uncontrollably in your back seat, let me know I’m not alone. Please.

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Don’t let the smile fool you.

Monthly Milestones: 3 Months

Renee BartonLeave a comment

Babies grow and change so quickly and ours is no exception.

So we decided it might be fun to record a video each month to create a snapshot in time that we can look back on in the future.

An opportunity to capture the milestones he reached that month, funny stories, his likes and dislikes and our thoughts and feelings as parents at each stage.

This is the first instalment.

My First Father’s Day

Kaine Barton1 Comment

Today, is Father’s Day.

Today, is my first Father’s Day as a Father.

The day started off with a bang for my first ever Father’s Day, getting spoilt in bed with a few gifts from Renee and Jesse. All while I got to cuddle and play and laugh with our little Jesse. There is nothing that brightens my morning up more than waking up to a smiling Jesse.

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After having a leisurely breakfast, we headed off to see our respective dads to wish them a happy Father’s Day.

First stop was my parents place where I not only got to wish my dad a happy Father’s Day, but my mum’s dad too. We had 4 generations there and it was great to share the morning with not only my old man, but my mum’s family.

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Three Generations

Then it was off to see Renee’s dad for lunch.

We met up with them at Phoenix at the Bracken Ridge Tavern for some share plates and a sneaky beer.

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All in all, it was an amazing first Father’s Day, and I can’t wait to celebrate many more with Jesse as he grows older.

I know that this is only a short post for me… But I think even though it is short, I’ve said all I need to say.

To all the dads out there… Happy Father’s Day!!!

I Think You Are A Super Mum

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

Last Sunday night was another rough night for Renee as far as sleep goes.

Unfortunately for us (although I’m sure Jesse loved it), our little man had a massive sleep that afternoon while we were at a family BBQ. This meant that when it came time for us to get some sleep, he was any combination of wide awake; restless; feeding; smiling; crying.

This made for a very frustrating start to what I expected to be a long night ahead for Renee.

We have a system for night times which seems to work for us most of the time. That system involves Renee getting up throughout the night to tend to Jesse (she does have the boobs after all) so that I can get a good night sleep for work the next day, and me tending to Jesse (again, when he’s not hungry and wanting to feed on account of having no boobs) when I get home and on the weekends.

This does mean however, as you would have read in Renee’s last blog post, that she hasn’t had a full nights sleep since Jesse was born.

I know she had a rough night on that Sunday night, and the next day I really wanted to let her know that she could call on me if she was at wits end and just needed a break or some sleep.

At around 10 am on Monday morning, I sent the following text message:

“Hey babe. So are you sure you’re ok today?

I just really want to stress to you that while I do appreciate how you want to make sure I get enough sleep for work, I would rather be sleepy at work for a day than have you up losing your shit at night with Jesse.

I think you’re an absolute star and a super mum, but if you’re struggling and at wits end, I am here. I WANT to help. You don’t have to do it all by yourself. That’s my role and responsibility as a dad!

Love you.”

I received a text message back minutes later telling how much just some simple words like that really meant. She went on further to say:

“You are such a great dad. In fact, everyone says what a great dad you are. I dont often get told that I am doing a good job so thank you for saying that.”

So I am here today, writing this down, to tell you that you are not just doing a good job… you are doing a phenomenal job as a new mum to our little Jesse.

Super Mum

I know you don’t hear it enough. From me or from others. And for that I am sorry.

But I am here, now, telling you that to me, you are Superwoman! And I promise to remember to tell you more often, just how good of a job you are doing!

You are our super mum!

Photo Friday: We Love the Gympie Music Muster

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

If you are like us, there will be one or two events that come up every year that you simply can’t miss. And for us, one of those events is the Gympie Music Muster!

If you love music, food, festivals and camping, The Gympie Music Muster is the place to be. And you don’t have to be a country music fan as there really is something for everyone.

We have been going for years and years now, and every year it seems to get better and better.

This year however, is a little different to previous years. Different, because we have our little Jesse with us.

This is our first time camping (well, you could say “glamping” considering we have a pop-top caravan) with a baby. Something that we thought we prepared very well for.

So how is it going? Have we survived so far? Well… you will just have to wait until we get back for us to release our usual ‘Muster Vlogs’ showing what exactly we got up to this year at the Gympie Music Muster.

In the meantime however, if you would like an idea of what the Gympie Music Muster is like from our perspective, below is the three part video series we filmed last year.

Enjoy…

The Big Sleep Obsession

Renee Barton1 Comment

When you become a parent, in particular a mum, you become incredibly aware of sleep.

You are either doing it, wishing you were doing it, thinking about doing it or talking about doing it.

Everything is now being weighed up against sleep.

Housework or sleep?

Exercise or sleep?

Sex or sleep?

Sleep will usually trump just about everything else. But often you just want to get some things done or simply enjoy a few minutes to yourself to just lie on the couch and stare stupidly into space (there’s not enough brain power to read all those books I thought I’d catch up on during my maternity leave!).

Watching your baby sleep is both delightful and frustrating. It’s 7.30 pm and he is sleeping. I should really go to bed too. But then BAM… suddenly it’s 9 pm and he’s awake and hungry. Or worse, happy and wanting to play! Damn it, was it really worth staying awake to watch some crappy TV show or do the dishes? I could have had an hours’ sleep!

I’ve now gone 3 months without a solid nights sleep. And I definitely underestimated the concept of sleep deprivation. The last night I slept through was the 25th May. And had I have known it would be my last I would have taken notice and really took pleasure in it.

But that is just life with a baby right. I always knew that would be the case. I’ve missed the odd night of sleep due to a big night of partying and I survived that fine. This will be a piece of cake. No ‘job’ to get up for so I’ll just go with the flow and sleep when I can…

Well that’s all well and good in theory but I’ve come to realise it is really f#*%ing annoying to be woken up 3 times a night, our bodies are not built to do that. And you go through your days with a foggy brain which only gets worse. Some days I really wonder if I should be operating a vehicle!

Sleep Post

Other people are now suddenly obsessed with mine and my babies sleep habits too. Any conversation usually includes “so is he a good sleeper?”

My answer is always yes. But what does that even mean? I say yes because at least I’m getting some sleep. Two hour blocks has now increased to 3-4 hour blocks most nights. And when I get 5 in a row I feel like a new woman!

Then comes the obsession with the elusive ‘sleeping through’ phenomenon. When is my baby going to do it? Her baby is two months younger and is already doing it. Am I ever going to sleep like a normal person (aka my husband) again?

For the most part of the last 3 months we have co-slept. Not something I thought I would do but worked for us and has kept us sane. But I’m now ready to reclaim our bed and sleep comfortably again.

Jesse is not a fan of the bassinet so it looks as though we are going to attempt to move him straight to his cot in his own room. Eek!

Wish us luck!

What are your tips for getting baby to sleep on their own or moving to their cot?

Our Baby’s Milestones: Terrified of Missing Out

Kaine Barton2 Comments

It is Monday morning on August 10, 2015. It is 9:50 am.

My iPhone buzzes on my desk beside me. The buzzing sound that is all too familiar to me now. It is letting me know that someone has sent me a text message.

I unlock my iPhone and as I click into my Messages app, a video pops up on my screen. A video that Renee has sent me of our little Jesse. The video that you can see below.

It’s not the first time I’ve received a video or photo of Jesse from Renee, and I know it won’t be the last. And I will say this… I love getting sneaky little text message or Snapchat updates from Renee showing me what they are getting up to throughout the day. I actually really look forward to it, receiving photos and videos, so I can see our little Jesse while I am at work.

However, after receiving the video of Jesse from Renee on that Monday morning, something really terrified me. And that something has been constantly pulling at the back of my mind ever since receiving that video. Something that I haven’t been able to articulate, but will attempt to with this blog post.

I am absolutely terrified of missing out on important milestones in Jesse’s development and in his overall life.

Let me say this, I know that I’m not the only working dad/parent out there. And I know that I’m not the first, and certainly won’t be the last, to feel like this.

But that doesn’t make it any less real for me.

I was sitting there watching back the video of my first child, my son, my little Jesse smiling away and almost letting out his first giggle. I had a smile on my face from ear to ear and little tears were welling in my eyes at the pure joy I felt watching him smiling and being so happy. But then this wave of fear washed over me.

What if I’m not there for the time he let’s out his first little giggle? What if I’m not there the first time he laughs or to hear his first word? What if I’m not there when he rolls over for the first time? Crawls for first time? Takes his first steps?

Kaine and Jesse

I was terrified and angry and disappointed and sad, at the very real chance that I may not be there to witness some of these milestones. That I may be at work and have to watch his first giggle through the screen of an iPhone. Or that I may be held up on public transport and have to witness the first time he crawls on the screen of our laptop when I get home.

As far as milestones in the life of a baby, some of these might only be small ones. But to me, they’re all important. Jesse’s first giggle to me, is just as important as his first word. And the first time he rolls over is just as important as his first step.

Now I know that work is where I need to be right now. I know that I need to step up into the role of being the provider for our family. And I know that Renee is forever thankful that I have taken on this responsibility, as she has conveyed in her blog post ‘An Open Letter to Dads Returning to Work’.

But at the end of the day, even though I know I won’t entirely miss these milestones (that is the beauty of technology these days), I still can’t seem to shake that distant feeling of disappointment that I may very well not be there to witness some of them first hand. All I can say is that I am extremely thankful that we are in a position that has allowed us to extend Renee’s time away from work so that one of us will be there to witness and capture these amazing moments in Jesse’s life.

It makes me think however, that I feel sorry for all the new parents out there where both mum and dad had to return to work early. As there is a real possibility that they may both miss some of these special times in a baby’s life.

Like I mentioned earlier, I know that I’m not the only working dad/parent out there that has felt like this at one stage during parenthood, and I know I won’t be the last.

But maybe, just maybe… by writing down these thoughts someone, somewhere, might realise that they aren’t alone in feeling like this. Let’s all cherish the time we have with our children, because there will be moments that we will all inevitably miss out on.

Photo Friday: Baby Discovers His Hand

Renee BartonLeave a comment

One of the most thrilling parts of having a new baby is watching them grow, learn and discover.

Mr Jesse has recently discovered his fist….well the left one at least.  Several times a day when his hand passes his face he gets fixated on it for minutes.  Staring and studying it with immense fascination.

Discovering hand

It is such a joy to watch him discovering his body and the world around him. We look forward to seeing him learn to roll, sit up and all the other precious milestones that are no doubt just around the corner.

What are your favourite milestones to watch your baby achieving?

The Fourth Trimester: A Love Letter to My Son

Renee Barton1 Comment

It is done. You are officially twelve weeks old. And it has been swell, my love.

After nine beautiful months, three trimesters, of growing you in my belly every day wondering what you would be like. We have now spent the fourth trimester, your first three months in the outside world, falling in love. And I for one am smitten.

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You are the sweetest little boy. I will cherish this special time we’ve had together forever. Our secret rendezvous in the middle of the night. Our delicious afternoon naps together. Carrying you close to my body making us both reminisce about those months you spent inside. And our morning snuggles in bed, my heart melting with every smile.

You have already grown so much. From a tiny, slippery bundle I could hold in my two palms to a chubby bouncing boy. The tiniest clothes were too big for you and now you are filling out your 000 outfits.

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When I felt you kicking in my tummy I knew we had a special connection. When I held you for the first time I knew I loved you. But now that I know you I know that my heart now lives outside my body. When you are sad and cry my heart aches like never before. And when you smile it sings.

These past 3 months haven’t been easy have they, my love. We have had some tough times together. I know you love it out here with us but it has been hard transitioning from the warm and cosy home in my tummy and sometimes you miss it. I miss it too.

Remember our second day together? You were so hungry and we were both learning what to do. We cried together that night in hospital but we made it through.

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I can’t promise that there won’t be more hard times ahead. But I can promise that we’ll be together so we’ll be alright.

My precious boy, thank you for choosing me to be your Mummy.

I love you.

Re-branding Not So Secret Life Of Us

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

Ever since we first released our ‘Not So Secret Life Of Us’ project, I haven’t entirely been happy with our little watermark that we use for our photos and YouTube videos.

So with that in mind, I’ve been working tirelessly (well… not really… but I have been working most of the day) on a new logo and watermark design that both Renee and I are 100% happy with.

So with that said, I can happily say that I have finished the design, both Renee and I are really happy with it… and here it is.

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From here on in, you will now be seeing this logo on all of the Not So Secret Life Of Us photos and YouTube videos, along with replacing the profile photo for our Facebook page.

As well as that, we will be printing up some stickers to help us promote our blog and promote this incredible journey we are on.

Let us know what you think of our new logo… and if you would like a sticker for your car, fridge, diary, husbands forehead… contact us through our Facebook page so we can send you some through the mail.

Again, thanks to everyone who has shown their support for this project.