The day started off with a bang for my first ever Father’s Day, getting spoilt in bed with a few gifts from Renee and Jesse. All while I got to cuddle and play and laugh with our little Jesse. There is nothing that brightens my morning up more than waking up to a smiling Jesse.
After having a leisurely breakfast, we headed off to see our respective dads to wish them a happy Father’s Day.
First stop was my parents place where I not only got to wish my dad a happy Father’s Day, but my mum’s dad too. We had 4 generations there and it was great to share the morning with not only my old man, but my mum’s family.
Then it was off to see Renee’s dad for lunch.
We met up with them at Phoenix at the Bracken Ridge Tavern for some share plates and a sneaky beer.
All in all, it was an amazing first Father’s Day, and I can’t wait to celebrate many more with Jesse as he grows older.
I know that this is only a short post for me… But I think even though it is short, I’ve said all I need to say.
Every year in the last week of August you will find us getting our country on at the Gympie Music Muster. We have been going for over 10 years and it is definitely one of the highlights of our calendar.
This year however was a little different to most. This year we had our 3 month old baby with us.
Yes, call us crazy, but we took Bub on his first camping trip, 5 nights in the Amamoor State Forest with 50,000 of our closest friends.
And he handled it like a champ!
What I thought was going to be an agonising car trip turned out to be a breeze. He slept the whole way there and back. And the little guy took to camping like a pro. Thunderstorm and all.
We must say a big thank you to our awesome friends for being so understanding of our situation and for helping to make our time so enjoyable. It was incredibly reassuring to hear how happy they were that we didn’t back out because we had a baby and that it in no way negatively affected their time (no one really gets much sleep at Muster anyway).
Obviously he is our number one priority and we made all the necessary adjustments to ensure he was safe and comfortable. But it was also great to prove that we can still do the things we love even though we are parents now.
Last Sunday night was another rough night for Renee as far as sleep goes.
Unfortunately for us (although I’m sure Jesse loved it), our little man had a massive sleep that afternoon while we were at a family BBQ. This meant that when it came time for us to get some sleep, he was any combination of wide awake; restless; feeding; smiling; crying.
This made for a very frustrating start to what I expected to be a long night ahead for Renee.
We have a system for night times which seems to work for us most of the time. That system involves Renee getting up throughout the night to tend to Jesse (she does have the boobs after all) so that I can get a good night sleep for work the next day, and me tending to Jesse (again, when he’s not hungry and wanting to feed on account of having no boobs) when I get home and on the weekends.
This does mean however, as you would have read in Renee’s last blog post, that she hasn’t had a full nights sleep since Jesse was born.
I know she had a rough night on that Sunday night, and the next day I really wanted to let her know that she could call on me if she was at wits end and just needed a break or some sleep.
At around 10 am on Monday morning, I sent the following text message:
“Hey babe. So are you sure you’re ok today?
I just really want to stress to you that while I do appreciate how you want to make sure I get enough sleep for work, I would rather be sleepy at work for a day than have you up losing your shit at night with Jesse.
I think you’re an absolute star and a super mum, but if you’re struggling and at wits end, I am here. I WANT to help. You don’t have to do it all by yourself. That’s my role and responsibility as a dad!
Love you.”
I received a text message back minutes later telling how much just some simple words like that really meant. She went on further to say:
“You are such a great dad. In fact, everyone says what a great dad you are. I dont often get told that I am doing a good job so thank you for saying that.”
So I am here today, writing this down, to tell you that you are not just doing a good job… you are doing a phenomenal job as a new mum to our little Jesse.
I know you don’t hear it enough. From me or from others. And for that I am sorry.
But I am here, now, telling you that to me, you are Superwoman! And I promise to remember to tell you more often, just how good of a job you are doing!
It is Monday morning on August 10, 2015. It is 9:50 am.
My iPhone buzzes on my desk beside me. The buzzing sound that is all too familiar to me now. It is letting me know that someone has sent me a text message.
I unlock my iPhone and as I click into my Messages app, a video pops up on my screen. A video that Renee has sent me of our little Jesse. The video that you can see below.
It’s not the first time I’ve received a video or photo of Jesse from Renee, and I know it won’t be the last. And I will say this… I love getting sneaky little text message or Snapchat updates from Renee showing me what they are getting up to throughout the day. I actually really look forward to it, receiving photos and videos, so I can see our little Jesse while I am at work.
However, after receiving the video of Jesse from Renee on that Monday morning, something really terrified me. And that something has been constantly pulling at the back of my mind ever since receiving that video. Something that I haven’t been able to articulate, but will attempt to with this blog post.
I am absolutely terrified of missing out on important milestones in Jesse’s development and in his overall life.
Let me say this, I know that I’m not the only working dad/parent out there. And I know that I’m not the first, and certainly won’t be the last, to feel like this.
But that doesn’t make it any less real for me.
I was sitting there watching back the video of my first child, my son, my little Jesse smiling away and almost letting out his first giggle. I had a smile on my face from ear to ear and little tears were welling in my eyes at the pure joy I felt watching him smiling and being so happy. But then this wave of fear washed over me.
What if I’m not there for the time he let’s out his first little giggle? What if I’m not there the first time he laughs or to hear his first word? What if I’m not there when he rolls over for the first time? Crawls for first time? Takes his first steps?
I was terrified and angry and disappointed and sad, at the very real chance that I may not be there to witness some of these milestones. That I may be at work and have to watch his first giggle through the screen of an iPhone. Or that I may be held up on public transport and have to witness the first time he crawls on the screen of our laptop when I get home.
As far as milestones in the life of a baby, some of these might only be small ones. But to me, they’re all important. Jesse’s first giggle to me, is just as important as his first word. And the first time he rolls over is just as important as his first step.
Now I know that work is where I need to be right now. I know that I need to step up into the role of being the provider for our family. And I know that Renee is forever thankful that I have taken on this responsibility, as she has conveyed in her blog post ‘An Open Letter to Dads Returning to Work’.
But at the end of the day, even though I know I won’t entirely miss these milestones (that is the beauty of technology these days), I still can’t seem to shake that distant feeling of disappointment that I may very well not be there to witness some of them first hand. All I can say is that I am extremely thankful that we are in a position that has allowed us to extend Renee’s time away from work so that one of us will be there to witness and capture these amazing moments in Jesse’s life.
It makes me think however, that I feel sorry for all the new parents out there where both mum and dad had to return to work early. As there is a real possibility that they may both miss some of these special times in a baby’s life.
Like I mentioned earlier, I know that I’m not the only working dad/parent out there that has felt like this at one stage during parenthood, and I know I won’t be the last.
But maybe, just maybe… by writing down these thoughts someone, somewhere, might realise that they aren’t alone in feeling like this. Let’s all cherish the time we have with our children, because there will be moments that we will all inevitably miss out on.
One of the most thrilling parts of having a new baby is watching them grow, learn and discover.
Mr Jesse has recently discovered his fist….well the left one at least. Several times a day when his hand passes his face he gets fixated on it for minutes. Staring and studying it with immense fascination.
It is such a joy to watch him discovering his body and the world around him. We look forward to seeing him learn to roll, sit up and all the other precious milestones that are no doubt just around the corner.
What are your favourite milestones to watch your baby achieving?
We are waiting with bated breath to hear the delightful sound of Jesse’s first laugh.
He often shrieks with joy as he smiles and kicks his legs. And there have been a few times when he has smiled and had a little chuckle in his sleep but he is yet to let out a definite baby giggle.
Today’s Photo Friday is a cute video of our smiley bubba.
Before having a baby I had heard parents complain about how difficult it was and how long it took to leave the house with a baby. And yes, now I know what they were talking about.
Before baby, husband and I could be out the door within a few minutes of making the decision.
“Want to go out for lunch?”
“Sure!”
Freshen up, grab keys, wallet and phone and out the door we go.
Now it is a juggling act. I feed the baby while he gets ready then he changes the nappy and preps the gear while I get ready. By then it is time to feed again and after all that we might actually manage to throw everything in the car, buckle baby in his car seat and leave the house.
Phew… nap anyone??
In all seriousness though, I still firmly believe that, with a bit of patience and flexibility, it is possible (and important) to still be outgoing and enjoy a life outside the four walls of home.
So here are some of the things I’ve learned about venturing out of the house with a new baby.
Preparation is key. Always take more stuff than you think you will need including clothing, blankets, bottles and nappies.
Time your outings so that you leave straight after a feed. This way you can maximise time before the next feed is due, in theory anyway.
Try and avoid taking baby in and out of the car more than twice in one outing.
Breastfeed in public. It will feel really awkward at first. Much harder than simply whipping off your shirt and unashamedly popping your boob out when at home. It takes some practice to be able to juggle baby whilst trying to modestly unhook your bra and subtly hide your breast pad somewhere whilst getting bub to latch. And hey, if you happen to flash a bit of boob, try not to worry. It is natural, your baby is hungry and people should just get over it.
Even when using the pram always have a wrap or carrier handy just in case bub gets cranky and wants out.
When baby starts to get grizzly, it is time to go. Avoid being tempted by one more shop or one more errand as this will often lead to a screaming baby and stressed out mum on the ride home.
Enjoy being out. Having a baby doesn’t mean your social life has to end or that you need to be housebound. Getting out every so often will help you to appreciate those days at home endlessly feeding on the couch whilst watching Netflix.
If it all seems too hard, just try grabbing the pram or your favourite carrier and going for a walk around the block. The fresh air will do you both a world of good. Not to mention a little bit of exercise too.
So my question to you is, what are your tips and tricks for getting out of the house with your little ones?
One of the things that we as a couple want to make sure we do, is to put aside and spend some quality time together. It is important in any marriage to spend time together. Especially after having kids.
One of the concepts we love, is date night. That one night every one or two weeks that we get to do something together, without Jesse.
We unofficially had our first date night just recently, after we took a trip to the wonderful Eat Street Markets. We did however, this time around, take Jesse with us. I think that’s because we are still in that stage of loving every single hour, minute, second that we spend with him. And because of that, we don’t mind taking him with us.
Eat Street Markets is a fabulous way to spend date night too. With so many different foods and cuisines on offer, live music and plenty of knick knacks to browse through, it’s definitely a place I see us visiting regularly for date night.
All that said, how do you spend your date night? Is there anything in Brisbane that we should consider doing on a date night of our own?
I can say this though, I can’t wait to go back to Eat Street Markets!
It’s been 60 days since you came into our lives. 60 days since we finally met the little person that was growing in Renee’s belly. 60 days since I fell in love with you.
Life with you is so completely different to life before. Being responsible for a little human being is fun, challenging, rewarding, hard, exciting, overwhelming, interesting… all rolled into one big emotion that is so hard to describe. It is unlike anything I’ve ever done before. But I wouldn’t change it for anything.
I know it has only been 60 days and most people would say that it’s still only the beginning. I know this to be true. I know that it’s bound to get harder, but at the same time more rewarding and more fun.
I know that now I have started back at work that mummy is going to find it tougher. I can tell you that it’s tough for me too, having to leave you and mummy at home every morning as I head off in the cold to work. But I know that it is all for a good cause and as time goes on, we will be able to spend a lot more quality time together when it counts.
I know that there are going to be more challenges… more hard times… more mess… But along with that will come fun times, great experiences and memories to cherish forever.
It has been immensely gratifying getting to know you as you are. Watching you sleep. Watching how long it takes you to wake from your slumber. Laughing along with mummy at the many grunts and squeals you let out when feeding. The way you are already smiling.
I love your little fingers and toes and hands and feet. I love how wispy and blonde your hair is. I love how you sigh in your sleep. I love how I can get you to smile by playing with your bottom lip and chin.
I absolutely can’t wait to grow with you and be the dad I always imagined I’d be when mummy and I had children. Playing with you in the backyard or down at the local park. Teaching you life lessons. Playing hide and seek with you. Laughing with you. Tucking you into bed and reading you bedtime stories.
I love everything about you. To me, you are our perfect little man. I love that this is only the beginning of such a wonderful journey ahead.
Jesse, I’m so glad you are here and I can’t wait to get to know you more.
So I officially made it through my first week back at work after my paternity leave.
Was it tough? Yes and no…
That very first Monday morning was the hardest. Having to get up at 5am for the first time in 7 weeks was hard. Having to leave Renee and Jesse for the day for the first time in 7 weeks was even harder!
But I must admit that it didn’t take me long to get back into the groove of working life.
What made the transition easy is the fact that I work with a great group of people. The team at work made me feel amazing getting back into work life, and it was a real pleasure having everyone come up asking about Jesse and how he is going.
The biggest surprise was that I never really felt tired while I was at work. Toward the end of the week, Thursday and Friday, I was feeling tired earlier in the night. But I seemed to cope fairly well while I was at work. I have to send out a huge thank you to Renee for this fact, as she is the one who gets up during the night to tend to Jesse so that I can get a good nights sleep for work the next day.
It is nearly 12pm on Sunday, and I fell like I am definitely making the most of my days at home by spending as much time as a I can with Renee and Jesse. This is more important than ever now, considering my time with them is somewhat limited during the week.
It makes me wonder how other new dads cope trying to get the best work/life balance they can with a newborn.
If you are a new dad out there, what are your experiences in trying get a good work/life balance with a newborn?
I will say this, one of the biggest things that gets me through my work day is knowing that at the end, I get to see this little guy again!
not so secret life of us 