New Mum Reminder: Go Easy on Yourself!

Our little man is two months old today. He is getting so big and changing every day.

As we get caught up in the daily rituals of nappies and meal times it feels like Jesse has been apart of our family for longer than he has. Sometimes this can lead to disappointment that I don’t quite have it all together all of the time.

Then I am reminded not be so hard on myself, after all it has only been 8 weeks!

So here are some things I think I need to be reminded of. Perhaps you can relate to some of these or add a few of your own…

  1. You are still new at this and that’s OK! You’re not expected to have it all figured out just yet. So your baby likes to be cuddled while he sleeps. He has a textbook breastfeed one time and then doesn’t want a bar of it the next. The dishes are piling up in the sink and you can’t remember the last time you cleaned the loo. Just go with it.  A stressed out Mum will only result in a stressed out bub.
  2. Some other areas of your life may have fallen by the wayside but it’s only temporary. I know you have high expectations of yourself and want to be able to be ‘Super Mum’ and do it all, all of the time. And in time you probably will. But for now, just relax and enjoy this special time. Baby steps are still progress even if it is slower than you might like.
  3. You may catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and wonder who the hell that fat, tired person is glaring back at you, but give yourself a break. You just had a baby for goodness sake! Yes there are some wobbly bits and lumps and bumps where there wasn’t before. Just focus on being healthy and happy for now and your body will soon follow.
  4. So those formula top ups you thought were temporary are still going, so what! Your baby is happy and healthy and that is all that matters. Remember this, each and every breastfeed, even if it is for just a few minutes, is doing wonders for your baby. Don’t be ashamed that you also have to give your baby bottles. You might feel like everyone is judging you but in fact other mums are probably thinking ‘Thank God, its not just me’!
  5. Trust your instincts. Sleep routines, controlled crying methods, co-sleeping, bed sharing, breasts, bottles, dummies, disposable nappies, cloth nappies, baby wearing; it seems everyone has an opinion about everything and there are so many concepts and ideas out there that at times, it can be very overwhelming. Just do what feels right. And if in the end it doesn’t work out, well, just try something else.

Just remember ‘this too shall pass’. That is both a blessing and a curse. Yes waking up several times throughout the night and a baby that won’t sleep for more than an hour on his own will eventually be things of the past. But so will those sleepy snuggles and those goofy gummy grins. So try to enjoy it all; the good, the bad and the sleep deprived.

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As women we can often be our own worst enemy. And as mothers we are often each others. Let’s cut ourselves some slack and while we are at it, be nicer to each other as well.

Breast or bottle, disposable or cloth, controlled crying or attachment parenting – no matter how we are doing it we are all going through the same things and just trying to be the best Mums we can be.

So try to be kinder to yourself and while you’re at it, give a smile or a word of encouragement to fellow Mum. It might be all she needs to brighten an otherwise stressful or frustrating day.

Photo Friday: How Cute is a Sleeping Baby

Everyone loves the beautiful sight that is a sleeping baby.

Here are a few of our favourite sleepy bubba (and sleepy parent!) pics so far.

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Jesse at about 2 days old. We love this photo so much because it shows what he would have looked like when sleeping in Mummy’s tummy.

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Mummy and Jesse catching up on some sleep together on the lounge during his first few days at home.

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With a tummy full of milk, sleep follows shortly after.

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Jesse’s favorite place to sleep is on Daddy’s chest. Daddy often catches a few zzz’s as well.

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This is one of Jesse’s favourite sleeping poses. The Thinker.

10 Thoughts of a Sleep Deprived Mum During Night Feeds

I’m sure other Mum’s will agree that we can have some pretty weird and wonderful thoughts when we are awake through the night tending to our little ones.

It is a special time. The rest of the house is quiet and dark. Baby cuddles up to you and stares lovingly at you with their big blue eyes whilst guzzling their midnight snack. But its not all warm and fuzzy. Literally! It has been pretty cold in Brisbane lately, peeling back the doona is even more difficult now and don’t even mention having to get your boobs out in the cold night air! It can be downright frustrating too. When all you want to do is sleep but baby is cranky, hungry, wet, cold, hot….and its your job to figure out which of these it is so that you can both get back to sleep as soon as possible.

So, here are 10 thoughts I’m sure we’ve all have whilst fulfilling this motherly duty.

  1. My life sucks right now.
  2. Has it been 3 hours already??
  3. Shit its cold!
  4. Awww….look at my husband sound asleep completely oblivious to everything….asshole!
  5. I am the luckiest Mummy in the world….and boy do I make cute babies!
  6. My life is awesome right now.
  7. I wonder what is happening on Facebook at 3am…..hmmm, not much!
  8. Ok, please settle so we can get back to sleep now.
  9. I’m sooo bloody tired! OMG, am I ever going to sleep though the night again ever?!
  10. Great, we’re done….well at least until you wake me up again in a few hours time and we do it all again.

All jokes aside, we wouldn’t have it any other way would we mums? As we pat their backs and kiss their faces and smell their heads, we know we are the luckiest (albeit tired-est) mummies in the world.

Thoughts during the night

An Open Letter to Dads Returning to Work

Next week Kaine will be returning to work and I am nervous to say the least.  I am wondering how I am going to handle things on my own without someone to share nappy duty with, without the chest which Jesse loves to fall asleep on and without someone to keep up the housework and bring me things when I’m breastfeeding.  But most of all how I’m going to cope without my person with me, my best friend, my husband.

But as hard as it will be for me, I know it will be even more difficult for him to leave us every morning and spend a large part of the day away from us.  Especially after enjoying such precious family time over the last 7 weeks.

So here are my words to my husband about his returning to work. Perhaps there are other women that feel this way about their spouse also so this is my open letter to working Dads.

To My Dear Husband,

The time we have spent together recently has been so special. The opportunity to be together every day as a new family while we navigate the challenges and joys of being parents has been incredible. I didn’t know I could love you more than I already did but seeing you as a Dad and the way you are with our baby, and with me, has deepened my love for you in ways I could not have anticipated.

But soon you will be returning to work. I know this will be difficult for you and that you will wish you were at home with us but I want you to know that work is exactly where your family needs you to be, at least for now.

Each day you leave our house please know that we love you and appreciate all you do to provide for us and ensure we are happy and healthy. We will miss you and the moment you arrive home will be our favourite part of the day.

Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to continue staying at home to care for our son. I know it is incredibly important to the both of us, and to us as a family, to be with him as much as possible and provide him with the best start in life.

So until a time when we are able to spend all of our days together again; we thank you.

Lovingly yours,

Wifey for Lifey

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