My worst day to date as a parent?

Let’s talk about Saturday.

A day that will go down in our short stint as new parents, as probably one of the hardest days we’ve had to deal with.

To be honest with you, it was probably the first time since Jesse was born where I genuinely 100% questioned if I could do this, if this parenting gig was just all too hard and whether I should just quit and leave.

The day started out ordinary enough. Jesse woke up happy as he normally does. We got ready for gym. We dropped Jesse off at Nanny and Poppy’s on the way to gym. And then…

Well, then the drama starts… It was like we had picked up a completely different child to the one we had dropped off earlier that morning.

And for the rest of that morning, we had a very, very, very cranky boy. We just couldn’t work out what was wrong!!!

There was uncontrollably crying. There was a bloody nose (the result of a lot of nose wiping due to his runny nose and the fact that he had accidentally scratched himself around his nostril). There was grazed knees from when he fell over earlier in the day. There was writhing in pain. There was arching his back and kicking away from us as we tried to hold and comfort him. There was teething pain symptoms.

For some reason, it all just seemed to explode all at the one time… And it all just became a little too much.

With everything that was happening with Jesse, Renee and I then started arguing and yelling at each other which, given the circumstances, wasn’t helping the situation.

So with everything that had happened and everything that was still happening, I got changed into some yard clothes and left the house. Now I didn’t leave altogether, I just left the house because I knew I wasn’t helping the situation.

So I grabbed the weed killer and lawn feed, headed outside and started working on the lawn.

By the time I was finished and came back inside, Jesse was sound asleep, and the house was quiet again.

I just hoped to god that when he woke up, he was going to be back to his happy self again. And what do you know, when he woke, he was indeed back to his happy self. It was like the morning had never happened. But both Renee and I knew it had happened. And we were both bearing scars as a result!

Was it my worst day to date as a parent? Probably! But you know what, us as a human race have the great ability to learn from our past experiences. So I feel that because I’ve now experienced a day like I did on Saturday, that I will be able to approach the situation better the next time round.

But hey, let’s keep our fingers crossed that there won’t be a next time and that it will all be smooth sailing from here.

…Keep dreaming Kaine. Keep dreaming…

This Time Around

I just knew.

I couldn’t exactly put my finger on it, but I just had a feeling. So when the first couple of pregnancy tests came back negative I wasn’t bothered. A far cry from how I felt when I would get a negative test when trying the first time. I sensed that Kaine was feeling pretty confident this month too.

We had decided back in January that we wanted to get straight into trying for another baby. Jesse was 7 months old. It seemed a tad crazy but we had to be prepared that it might take a while again. Plus we knew that chances were slim straight away anyway because I was still breastfeeding and my cycle hadn’t yet returned.

Over the next few months we weaned and four cycles later I couldn’t shake the feeling that we had been successful. I took another test and a beautiful yet faint second pink line confirmed my suspicions. It only took four months… I swallowed hard at the realisation that I was now that woman that long term TTC’ers want to throat punch. I know all too well how that feels.

I couldn’t wait to surprise Kaine with the news, and I had a plan to do so the following day. So when he asked me if I had got my period yet, I lied. I could sense his disappointment which only fed my excitement to tell him.

Thankfully, it all went to plan and I surprised him with the news that Jesse was going to be a big brother.

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One of many outtakes from our ‘Pregnancy Announcement Shoot’

Fast forward a bit over a week, I went to the doctor who confirmed the test result and I went for a dating scan. I left the scan feeling confident. There was a gestational sac, its not Ectopic, however, it is early days and there is not yet a foetal pole to measure. I’m told its normal for this early and to come back in about two weeks.

But the doubt starts to creep in. My mind races with questions. Is there no baby in there because there isn’t one? Suddenly I’m protective with the news. I was so excited to tell our immediate families but now, I’m not so sure. We keep it our little secret for a bit longer.

Fast forward a couple of months and the secret is out. All is going well, and now that I’m not feeling like crap all the time, the excitement is starting to kick back in.

This time around I think I’m both more excited, and more terrified. Excited because I know how wonderful having a baby and being a mum is, but terrified because I know how hard it is.

We could not be happier though. No doubt these next six months will fly by, but we will take joy in our time as a family of three while we wait for Baby Barton #2 to join us.

Irritating Things Dad’s Do Through The Night

I don’t know if it’s the same in other households but way back in the beginning of this whole parenting thing we agreed that I would be the main bearer of the night shift in our house.

And I’m really fine with it. Kaine gets up early to go to work through the week and my job is to satisfy the whims of our precious little one (who is now not so little at 16 months!).

However, that doesn’t mean I’m not driven crazy from time to time with the night antics that occur in our house.

With a child that has only slept through the night a handful of times, I am up at least once if not more every night. And there are definitely some things that Kaine does through the night that irritates me to no end.

Here’s a few irritating things dad’s do throughout the night. Or maybe it’s just my husband…

1. Sleeps. Yup, there is nothing more irritating than waking up for the third time in as many hours to feed or soothe a bub while husband sleeps soundly and blissfully unaware.

2. The passive-aggressive rollover. This manoeuvre is designed to let you know you’ve disturbed his sleep but he’s not actually willing to wake and offer help. There’s just a very loud sigh from his side of the bed followed by an angry rollover and tug on the doona.

3. States the bloody obvious. When the teething toddler is screaming blue murder in the middle of the night and no amount of pats on the bottom or cuddles can fix it, Mum begins to administer pain relief (which could only be made easier by putting the child in a straight jacket) when dad comes out in his undies, rubbing his eyes and says “why don’t you just give him some nurofen already”? If looks could kill….

4. Pretends to be asleep even when it’s the weekend. It wouldn’t be too much to expect that dad might handle the early morning bottle on a weekend right? Wrong! I’ll get up again shall I??? Oh, do you want me to get him he says knowing that you’re already half way out of the bed.

5. Complains about being tired. Um, excuse me? You don’t know the meaning of the word!

Like I said… It might be just my husband who does these things. But geez, on a really bad night I do admit to wanting to stab him in the (shut) eye with a fork!

And god help me, if he comes out in his undies at 2am in the morning again, directing me to give Jesse nurofen after another terrible night of trying to settle him and get him back to sleep, I may be driven to cut off what got us into this situation in the first place!

Okay, that could just be the sleep deprivation talking.

Or is it?

I love you, darling.

Footage Friday: Jesse loves the outdoors!

So Jesse absolutely loves the outdoors!

So much so that it doesn’t even matter if its 8pm and pitch black out… He still wants to go outside to play.

So that’s why we try and give him every opportunity we can to get outdoors, get his feet in the grass or in the dirt or in the sand… and get dirty!

And going by his squealing in this video, he was absolutely loving his time outdoors yesterday!

Are we bad parents?

Just recently, there seems to be a lot of chatter in the news about children and screen time on electronic devices such as tablets, smart phones and even television.

Now I know that this topic isn’t exactly a new one by any means. But because this hot topic has hit the news outlets again, it got me thinking about how we do things in our house. Are we ‘Pro’ or ‘Anti’ screen time? Are we doing right by Jesse when it comes screen time? And are we bad parents if we let Jesse have screen time?

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Photo: Getty Images
Now there are two recent articles that I stumbled across on this subject, that I found quite interesting.

The first, an article by the New York Post titled It’s ‘digital heroin’: How screens turn kids into psychotic junkies. This article talks about how screen time can be extremely detrimental to kids development and even uses a real life example of a mother who found her 6 year old son in a trance from having too much time on his iPad playing Minecraft.

The second, an article titled ‘Lisa Wilkinson says parents who let kids under five use screens are ‘crazy’. An article (and associated video) about how one of Australia’s most well-known morning presenters thinks parents who let their children have access to screens before they are five years old are “crazy” and that this lack of discipline will “come back to bite”.

So after reading these articles, I decided to do a little googling to see if I could find any common ground regarding if, and how much screen time should kids be having.

At this point I will say this, we are well aware that when it comes to kids development, nothing can replace the amazing benefits of active and outdoor play, reading books, educational toys etc etc. And these are all definitely activities we encourage Jesse to participate in everyday.

But, on the other hand, we do allow Jesse to have some screen time. It’s not a lot, but after these latest articles, we are again wondering if we are doing the right thing in letting him have this screen time.

So what does google say? Well it appears that the general consensus on many Government websites relating to parenting is, that children under two should simply steer clear of the screen altogether. Further to this, children aged 2-5 should have no more than an hour a day, and children aged 5-18 should have no more than two hours a day.

Now in response to this I say good luck getting a teenager to have no more than 2 hours a day of screen time. I will also say that many people believe that screens are just part of modern day parenting.

But after this google search my biggest concern now, is are we bad parents? Jesse is only 16 months old and we let him have screen time. And not only that, are we creating lifelong bad habits with Jesse by letting him have this screen time?

Now I will say that having an iPad in the car was a saving grace for us when Jesse was younger due to the fact he absolutely HATED the car. The only way we could get him to settle and not cry the whole drive, was to hang the iPad on the back of the chair with some Peppa Pig or The Wiggles playing. It would instantly settle him and stop him crying.

But now, Jesse has gotten into the habit of grabbing our phones, climbing onto our lap and waiting for episodes of Peppa Pig to watch. And while it’s incredibly cute, it’s a little worrying that maybe he is starting to expect screen time.

However, while he loves his Peppa Pig, he also loves to grab our hands and lead us directly to either the front or back door so he can go outside and play. He LOVES being outside, so much so that there has often been tantrums thrown because he couldn’t go outside when it was dark out.

Back onto screen time though, I have to admit that we also almost constantly have the television on of an evening and night. And while it’s mostly ABC Kids, again I am starting to wonder if the television should be turned off in favour of play and story time before he goes to bed.

With all this said however, it will be interesting to hear what everyone else’s thoughts on this topic are.

Do you let your children have screen time?

If so, how much screen time do you allow them to have?

If these recent articles have taught me anything, its that I need to be a little more proactive when it comes to Jesse and his screen time, versus having active and outdoor play, reading books and playing with toys.

In the end, both Renee and I know how we want to raise Jesse. But it is good to get a reminder about things like the negative impacts screen time can have.

Footage Friday: Our Baby Is Broken

Who broke the baby?

Watching Jesse play when he’s in his own little world is so cute and often hilarious.

The other afternoon as I was watching him play he just kept lying down on the floor, taking a lot of care to make sure he didn’t bump is head. Getting up and doing it again. All the while having a little chat to himself.

It was so adorably funny that I just had to grab my phone and record it.

Sleeping baby. Nek Minnut…

So imagine this… it’s a Tuesday afternoon and I’m sitting at my computer at work, missing Renee and Jesse like crazy. I decide to send Renee a quick text to see how it’s all going.

I get a text back saying everything is great. They had a great time at the shops, especially Jesse. He had such a great time in fact, that he is soundly sleeping.

Not long after that I get this photo through.

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O … M … G …

My heart melted and all I wanted to do was leave work, head home and snuggle into him while he slept.

I shoot a text message back through about how cute he looks.

Two minutes later, I get another text from Renee saying “Scrap that, this is him now!”

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My first reaction was… WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!?!

Then, I kind of felt a little happy that I was at work and didn’t have to deal with his tantrums all afternoon.

Good luck with that babe… I ummm, actually have a lot of work to do, so I better get back to it. HAHAHA…

Oh how quickly things can change when you have kids!