Summer in Queensland is hot. Very hot. So whenever you get the chance to swim in a pool, you take it!
And that’s exactly what we did yesterday.
It was a such a nice and relaxing day by the pool with some good company, good food, and good laughs.
Exactly how summer should be spent in Queensland.
Oh yea, and we also have the worlds youngest beer pong player on our hands. Because once we cracked out the cups and table tennis balls, all Jesse wanted to do was play too.
So guess what… the end of January is just around the corner! That’s right… January is almost over!
I mean, hang on, it still feels like only yesterday that we were up at Maleny celebrating NYE and chugging beers! Well, I was the one chugging the beers… Renee was giving me that look of pure evil that only a pregnant woman can give when she is the only one sitting in a room full of non-pregnant people all having fun! Love you darling!
So since we are almost through our first month of 2017, how are those NYE resolutions coming along? Have you achieved all you wanted to achieve for January as yet? Don’t worry, you still have time if you haven’t.
What about me you ask? Well, I didn’t really make any NYE resolutions. I tend to find they’re somewhat of a waste of time. Like most people, I never end up completing any of the NYE resolutions I’ve set myself in the past. I think it’s mostly because when we do make NYE resolutions, we aren’t held accountable by anyone. However, I am glad to say that despite not having any resolutions in place, I have still managed to start my year off on a positive note…
And so this leads into the title of this post. Saying goodbye to the Dad Bod!
I’m not going to beat around the bush… I have officially (by my own admittance) reached fat bastard status! I got to that point where I realised I had two options available moving forward regarding my diet and my weight. Either stop eating… or buy a whole new wardrobe full of clothes. And let’s face it, to stop eating is definitely the cheaper way to go!
I mean, it’s pretty bad. Like so bad that the t-shirts I own look like they’re about 2 sizes to small when I wear them. If I start to raise my arms it looks like I’m wearing a midriff! Plus none of my pants fit! We went to the Redcliffe Lagoon just before New Years and I couldn’t do them up. I have buttons popping open on shorts and I even had to use a hair tie on the top button of a pair of jeans because I couldn’t get it done up! Yes, a hack I learned from my pregnant wife.
I seriously need an intervention!
I’ve embraced the Dad Bod for long enough. All the delicious food and the cold beers and the tasty burgers and the amazing chocolate and the delightful doughnuts and the… IT’S TIME TO STOP!!!
And this is where the positive start to my year begins. My PT is running a 6 week challenge to work off all that Christmas and NYE weight we’ve all put on. Count me in! I’ve got a ton of weight I need to lose!
Second week in and I think I’m doing pretty well. So far I’ve lost over one kilo of both weight and fat!
If I can just keep this going for the next 4 weeks, I’ll have rippling abs and biceps of steel just like Zac Efron!!! Well, maybe not, but at least I’ll be back to my normal weight!
Oh yea, and just in case you were wondering why we have so much junk food in the house… don’t forget that I am living with both a toddler, and a pregnant wife!
Being a parent is tough. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Don’t get me wrong. There are plenty of good times. There are plenty of great times. But on the flip side to that, there are also plenty of rough times.
Times that every now and again make me question myself… Can I actually do this? Can I actually be a dad? Am I really cut out for this?
You know those times… when you’re home alone with your baby and all it does is scream and cry non-stop and no matter what you do and no matter what you say and no matter what you try all your baby does is just scream and cry louder and louder until you get to that point where all you want to do is just throw in the towel or scream into a pillow!
Yup. Those times.
Well, I had another one of those times recently, and again I started to question myself. Am I cut out for being a Dad? Can I do this whole parenting thing? Do I want to do this?
It’s in those moments that I feel so helpless as a parent. As a Dad. It’s in those moments that I feel completely ill equipped to help this tiny human of ours who is completely inconsolable.
But then something happens. Something completely sweet and innocent.
After the screaming dies down. After the crying stops. That little human we made just casually walks over, cuddles up next to me and falls asleep.
And it’s at that moment that I fall in love with him all over again. It’s that moment that I forget everything that’s just happened in the last two hours and realise how much love I have for him. It’s in that moment, when I feel his chest gently rising and falling with each breath… when I’m taking in the sweet smell of his hair… when I’m gently kissing his cheeks and forehead as he drifts soundly off to sleep… that I realise I can do this!
It’s in that moment that I realise that while it certainly isn’t easy. That while it’s not always going to be rosy. That while it’s not always going to be sunny. That I can do this parenting thing. That I can do this Dad thing.
And ultimately, that I do want to do this Dad thing!!!
2016 has come and gone. It’s official. We are now in 2017.
Renee and I are another year older. Jesse has a few more teeth. And neither of us are much wiser…
But we did achieve a lot in 2016.
We laughed…
We cried…
We celebrated…
We did a lot. So what better way to celebrate the year that was, then with a snapshot of the year in photos we’ve taken along the way.
So with that said, here is our 2016 snapshot in photos… enjoy! 🙂
So… Jesse got his photo taken with Santa again this year.
However, it didn’t quite go as smoothly as it did last Christmas.
Last Christmas, Jesse was fascinated with the fat man in the red suit with a big bushy white beard. So much so that all he wanted to do was tug on his beard.
This year however… well, I think the photo speaks for itself.
I don’t think Jesse quite liked sitting on Santa’s lap this year. I can’t be positive about that, but it’s definitely a strong feeling I get!
There’s always next year!!!
So Christmas in the Barton household has officially started! That’s right, the silly season is finally upon us and it’s time the Barton’s got on board!
So yesterday, we kicked off the Christmas season by putting up our Christmas tree, and then heading off to North Lakes for their Christmas Markets and Christmas Carols!
And didn’t Jesse have a great time!
He loved helping to put the Christmas tree up. And by helping I mean he loved pulling the baubles off the tree almost as quickly as we were putting them on. He also liked sucking the glitter off the silver baubles.
And when he wasn’t “helping” with the tree and decorations, he was just being a general pest and pain in the arse. He seemed to be enjoying it though, so we didn’t complain too much.
After the tree went up, it was off to North Lakes for their Christmas markets and carols. And that’s where Jesse really enjoyed himself.
He got his first taste of playing in a petting zoo, which he absolutely LOVED!!! He loves animals and loves petting them, much to our cats disgust because she is the devil and doesn’t like anyone or anything!
But to see him running around the petting zoo chasing the baby animals was the cutest thing ever!
After that, he was stoked to just be able to walk around the markets checking everything out. Every now and again you’d hear a squeal of joy come from him as he tore around the markets, fascinated by all the people, lights and music.
We even stumbled across a Reindeer with a hole that you could stick your face in. He loved that, and kept wanting me to pick him up so he could look through the hole at mummy!
He certainly was our cute little Christmas Reindeer!
And with all the excitement of the day, he fell asleep early so that mummy and daddy could have a relaxing Sunday night with dinner and a movie.
It was the perfect way to kick off this Christmas with our perfect little boy!
Okay… political correctness is officially off the charts! Seriously, what are we as a society coming to? There has been many things that have been bugging me recently… and all signs are pointing to Australia becoming a PC state!
But the straw that broke the camels back for me, was this article titled Academics argue parents are damaging their kids by lying to them about Santa.
I mean come on… REALLY!!!
Apparently, parents who tell their children that Santa is real are participating in a damaging “collective lie on a global scale”, according to an article penned by two Australian academics.
So it would appear that two University of New England social scientists, Kathy McKay and Christopher Boyle, argue that lying is wrong and makes it difficult for children to trust their parents.
The article goes on further to quote these two “social scientists”, who state:
“Is the world so bad that we decide that it is better to spend around 10 years lying to children about a large jolly man who gives presents to all children with the help of mythical creatures, because it makes for more enjoyment at Christmas?
“Why should children question the parent who tells them to be careful touching a hot stove or crossing the road, when they tell them about a jolly man who apparently bends time and space to deliver presents to every child in the world at Christmas?
“If they are capable of lying about something so special and magical, can they be relied upon to continue as the guardians of wisdom and truth?”
Wow… really… GET F***ED!!!
That’s what I say to that. Seriously, it’s bloody Christmas. Can’t parents just have a normal Christmas with their family without being made to feel like they’re doing something wrong because the kids believe in Santa!
The world is already turning too politically correct as it is without making parents feel bad that they give kids the enjoyment of opening presents from Santa at Christmas.
We’ve already got enough people trying to challenge Christmas because of religious sensitives… we’ve got suburbs in Perth changing the date of Australia Day because of cultural sensitivities… and we’ve got companies changing the packaging of Easter Eggs to remove the word Easter, again for religious sensitivies…
I mean come on, don’t we live in a free country? Don’t people learn the whole concept of, if you don’t like it, then just move on anymore?
If you don’t like Christmas… then don’t participate. If you don’t like Australia Day… then don’t participate. If you don’t like Easter… then don’t participate. It’s not that hard. Stop ruining it for the rest of us.
Just let us have our fun on these national holidays.
And let us families with kids have the fun we deserve at Christmas without making us feel bad with bullshit reports about how lying to our kids about Santa is damaging them for life.
On that note, I’m off to make a list of presents for Jesse to be wrapped and put under the Christmas Tree from Santa!
Let’s talk about Saturday.
A day that will go down in our short stint as new parents, as probably one of the hardest days we’ve had to deal with.
To be honest with you, it was probably the first time since Jesse was born where I genuinely 100% questioned if I could do this, if this parenting gig was just all too hard and whether I should just quit and leave.
The day started out ordinary enough. Jesse woke up happy as he normally does. We got ready for gym. We dropped Jesse off at Nanny and Poppy’s on the way to gym. And then…
Well, then the drama starts… It was like we had picked up a completely different child to the one we had dropped off earlier that morning.
And for the rest of that morning, we had a very, very, very cranky boy. We just couldn’t work out what was wrong!!!
There was uncontrollably crying. There was a bloody nose (the result of a lot of nose wiping due to his runny nose and the fact that he had accidentally scratched himself around his nostril). There was grazed knees from when he fell over earlier in the day. There was writhing in pain. There was arching his back and kicking away from us as we tried to hold and comfort him. There was teething pain symptoms.
For some reason, it all just seemed to explode all at the one time… And it all just became a little too much.
With everything that was happening with Jesse, Renee and I then started arguing and yelling at each other which, given the circumstances, wasn’t helping the situation.
So with everything that had happened and everything that was still happening, I got changed into some yard clothes and left the house. Now I didn’t leave altogether, I just left the house because I knew I wasn’t helping the situation.
So I grabbed the weed killer and lawn feed, headed outside and started working on the lawn.
By the time I was finished and came back inside, Jesse was sound asleep, and the house was quiet again.
I just hoped to god that when he woke up, he was going to be back to his happy self again. And what do you know, when he woke, he was indeed back to his happy self. It was like the morning had never happened. But both Renee and I knew it had happened. And we were both bearing scars as a result!
Was it my worst day to date as a parent? Probably! But you know what, us as a human race have the great ability to learn from our past experiences. So I feel that because I’ve now experienced a day like I did on Saturday, that I will be able to approach the situation better the next time round.
But hey, let’s keep our fingers crossed that there won’t be a next time and that it will all be smooth sailing from here.
…Keep dreaming Kaine. Keep dreaming…
I don’t know if it’s the same in other households but way back in the beginning of this whole parenting thing we agreed that I would be the main bearer of the night shift in our house.
And I’m really fine with it. Kaine gets up early to go to work through the week and my job is to satisfy the whims of our precious little one (who is now not so little at 16 months!).
However, that doesn’t mean I’m not driven crazy from time to time with the night antics that occur in our house.
With a child that has only slept through the night a handful of times, I am up at least once if not more every night. And there are definitely some things that Kaine does through the night that irritates me to no end.
Here’s a few irritating things dad’s do throughout the night. Or maybe it’s just my husband…
1. Sleeps. Yup, there is nothing more irritating than waking up for the third time in as many hours to feed or soothe a bub while husband sleeps soundly and blissfully unaware.
2. The passive-aggressive rollover. This manoeuvre is designed to let you know you’ve disturbed his sleep but he’s not actually willing to wake and offer help. There’s just a very loud sigh from his side of the bed followed by an angry rollover and tug on the doona.
3. States the bloody obvious. When the teething toddler is screaming blue murder in the middle of the night and no amount of pats on the bottom or cuddles can fix it, Mum begins to administer pain relief (which could only be made easier by putting the child in a straight jacket) when dad comes out in his undies, rubbing his eyes and says “why don’t you just give him some nurofen already”? If looks could kill….
4. Pretends to be asleep even when it’s the weekend. It wouldn’t be too much to expect that dad might handle the early morning bottle on a weekend right? Wrong! I’ll get up again shall I??? Oh, do you want me to get him he says knowing that you’re already half way out of the bed.
5. Complains about being tired. Um, excuse me? You don’t know the meaning of the word!
Like I said… It might be just my husband who does these things. But geez, on a really bad night I do admit to wanting to stab him in the (shut) eye with a fork!
And god help me, if he comes out in his undies at 2am in the morning again, directing me to give Jesse nurofen after another terrible night of trying to settle him and get him back to sleep, I may be driven to cut off what got us into this situation in the first place!
Okay, that could just be the sleep deprivation talking.
Or is it?
I love you, darling.
On the verge of walking, talking and world domination. Here is Jesse’s 11 months milestones video.
Enjoy.
not so secret life of us 