Diaries of a Dad: Can I do this?

Being a parent is tough. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Don’t get me wrong. There are plenty of good times. There are plenty of great times. But on the flip side to that, there are also plenty of rough times.

Times that every now and again make me question myself… Can I actually do this? Can I actually be a dad? Am I really cut out for this?

You know those times… when you’re home alone with your baby and all it does is scream and cry non-stop and no matter what you do and no matter what you say and no matter what you try all your baby does is just scream and cry louder and louder until you get to that point where all you want to do is just throw in the towel or scream into a pillow!

Yup. Those times.

Well, I had another one of those times recently, and again I started to question myself. Am I cut out for being a Dad? Can I do this whole parenting thing? Do I want to do this?

It’s in those moments that I feel so helpless as a parent. As a Dad. It’s in those moments that I feel completely ill equipped to help this tiny human of ours who is completely inconsolable.

But then something happens. Something completely sweet and innocent.

After the screaming dies down. After the crying stops. That little human we made just casually walks over, cuddles up next to me and falls asleep.

jesse-sleeping

And it’s at that moment that I fall in love with him all over again. It’s that moment that I forget everything that’s just happened in the last two hours and realise how much love I have for him. It’s in that moment, when I feel his chest gently rising and falling with each breath… when I’m taking in the sweet smell of his hair… when I’m gently kissing his cheeks and forehead as he drifts soundly off to sleep… that I realise I can do this!

It’s in that moment that I realise that while it certainly isn’t easy. That while it’s not always going to be rosy. That while it’s not always going to be sunny. That I can do this parenting thing. That I can do this Dad thing.

And ultimately, that I do want to do this Dad thing!!!

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