How to write a successful parenting blog

Parenting blogs…

They’re not exactly a new innovation in the online blogosphere. And by that I mean there’s plenty of them out there. With the content of all these blogs varying from parenting advice to funny anecdotes about being shat on and everything in between.

You could say our blog fits in that ‘everything in between’ space.

I will say this however… When we first came up with this crazy idea to add to our social media presence and start a blog and brand it Not So Secret Life Of Us (NSSLOU), a parenting blog wasn’t exactly what we had in mind for it. We are simply humans documenting and sharing our lives through social media. And while the bigger picture for our NSSLOU project remains the same, at this very moment, one could argue that we do somewhat fall into the parenting blog category.

But what makes a successful parenting blog? Or any blog for that matter. Well, we are still figuring that one out. But what keeps coming up as a topic of conversation in our household is what we DON’T want for our blog.

History shows us that being relatable and raw (with a touch of humour) can be the best way to create a successful blog. Regardless of whether you’re a parenting blog, a personal development blog or a blog about sneakers. If people can relate to your experiences and have a laugh because they feel your story is reflected in their own daily lives in some way, you are more likely to build up a large audience of loyal followers.

But can being “raw” go too far?

There have been a couple of blogs and posts that have really blown up recently. And I’ll admit, one or two of the posts were quite funny. But when it comes to the content of these blogs, every post follows the same formula. They are always negative… They are always vulgar… And they are always attempting to be humorous for maximum viral-ability (that’s a word right?).

We certainly try and keep our blog as relatable and light-hearted as we can. But we don’t think we need to use profanity or crudeness to get our message across. Nor do we write content solely for the hope it will go viral. We write from the heart, we write with truth, we try to write with humour, and we try and stay as positive as we can. Because frankly, that’s how we live our lives. We love being parents and we love being married. And while neither are fun or rosy all the time we always try to see the positive side. We are honest and raw, but we are not negative. Why? Well, we think there is already enough negative in the world today. And we don’t need to add to that.

Everywhere you look there is negative. The six o’clock news is almost always entirely filled with bad news. Social media is jam packed with people having a whinge and bullying. There are mums attacking other mums. Dads attacking other dads. People attacking parents for their parenting choices.

When you weigh up the good against the bad, sadly the negative wins by an overwhelming margin.

And this is where, in our opinion, some “parenting” blogs have gone too far. One of the comments left on a particular post summed it up perfectly:

“Everything she says is very negative and depressing. I don’t find being a wife or mother negative in any way, shape or form, and love every second of my wifey role and parenting. Even when I get shat and vomited on. She drains the life from me and makes me feel sad. No good will come from glamorising depression, and its sad that so many women empathise with her and feel this way. I just want to help them all but don’t know how. It’s not supposed to feel like ____ describes it. It’s not…”

Many people obviously like reading these rude, crude and pessimistic posts, because otherwise they wouldn’t be as successful as they have been. But it’s just not our bag. If that is what we have to do to go viral then we’ll happily just keep our small group of followers. Retaining our integrity is more important to us than a ‘flash in the pan’ viral post.

We won’t be changing our approach to this great journey that we are on with NSSLOU. From the start, we had always imagined this to be a positive environment that encourages and uplifts people, parents or not. The kind of place where you could come along and go, ‘Wow… I’m not the only one who’s going through that’.

And not only that, create a place to share out story and journey for our son (and future children)… and their kids… and their kids kids to look back on and feel proud of what mum and dad accomplished not only as parents, but with this blog.

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If we can add just a little bit more kindness, positivity and fun into the world while we’re at it, then we have accomplished our goal. And if we can encourage a few others to be more positive in their own lives and towards each other then that’s awesome too.

Let’s put an end to speaking negatively of our partners and our lives and our parenting skills and others. And maybe, together, we can start to change the negative landscape that is parenting in today’s digital age.

Photo Friday: Melbourne Getaway

Last Friday, we packed our bags… Left the dog in the capable hands of Renee’s parents… Picked up Renee’s sister Lia and left for a plane headed to Melbourne.

It would be Jesse’s second trip to Melbourne in as many weeks! So needless to say, he was pretty excited.

We didn’t get much video footage while we were down there, but we got plenty of photos. And wow, what perfect weather to take photos. Melbourne really turned it on for us with glorious days the whole time we were down there.

Jesse had a blast. We had a blast. Lia and her boyfriend Matt had a blast…

We can’t wait to go back!

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The family arrives…
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Well hi there Melbourne! Nice to see you again. 🙂
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Someone is excited to be here!!!
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It’s hard to eat dinner when a certain someone falls asleep on you!
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M E L B O U R N E  N I G H T S ! ! !
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On of the things we love about Melbourne, is the street art!
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A quick picnic before we head back to the airport… and one hung over Matt!
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Last call before we board a flight back to Brisbane…

See you again soon Melbourne. See you again soon…

Dads Rule: Why we should give dads more credit

Lately I’ve been giving the ladies a gee up and boasting about how awesome women are, but I haven’t forgotten about the guys. Dads in particular.

There’s been lots of stories lately about how dads get a bad wrap and treated like unhelpful idiots when it comes to babies and parenting. I wholeheartedly agree that just because there are a few lousy dads out there (you know, the ones that call spending time alone with their child babysitting), not all men are crap dads.

In fact, most dads that I know are just as hands on with their kids as mums. And some of them even do housework. I know… you’re wondering how to get one of those husbands, but I found one, so I’m sure they’re out there!

The awesome dad does the early morning shift so mum can sleep in. The awesome dad jigs baby to sleep while singing lullabies that he knows none of the words to but makes them up anyway.

He can’t wait to play or cuddle or do bath time in the evenings even though he’s just finished a long day at work. He makes sure the car seat is in just right and he panics over every little scratch, bump and bruise. The awesome dad sneaks into bubba’s room just to marvel at how gosh darn cute he is.

And who says men can’t multitask?? The awesome dad can play PlayStation and get baby to sleep!

The reason I know these awesome dads exist is because I see it every day. I’m married to one.

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On top of all this he also reassures me on a regular basis that I’m an awesome mum. And we can not hear that enough can we mum’s?

So here’s to the awesome dads. The ones that wrestle the floor, give shoulder rides and read bedtime stories.

You rock!

And to my husband, not only do you rock, but you are my rock.

X

Footage Friday: 7 Month Milestones

Okay, so it’s Saturday but better late than never right?

Jesse’s seventh month was quite eventful with two of the most adorable little teeth you’ve ever seen making an appearance as well as mastering how to sit up on his own.

We had a few hiccups whilst recording the video but hey, they do say never work with babies or animals!

Enjoy.

A New Year, A New Adventure

It’s hard to believe but the first month of 2016 is almost over. I know, right!

It may seem like the year has taken off and left you somewhere around December 27th last year but don’t fret. It’s not too late to plan your year and get back on track. Don’t let another year just slip by leaving you wondering when time started to go by so quickly.

Already, this year is not what I had expected. After 9 months of maternity leave I should have been returning to my job this week but instead I am embarking on a new adventure and starting my own business as a licensed Kangatraining Instructor. The successful boutique consulting company I worked with for the last five years are closing their doors to allow for it’s people to pursue other opportunities. Including me.

As fate would have it, I had already started down the Kangatraining path and was planning to do both part time when I found out there wasn’t going to be a job for me to return to. Strangely enough I didn’t freak out. I strongly believe in the mantra ‘everything happens for a reason’. And thankfully I have a super supportive husband who also didn’t freak out and has been nothing but positive and encouraging.

I have found that women don’t need the support of their man to be successful, but it sure bloody helps! Guys, you might think your lady is a super star capable of anything she sets her mind to, but have you told her that lately?

Anyway, as I type this I am gearing up to take my instructor exams and putting in place all the finer details to get this new adventure up and running. And I can’t help thinking about how often thin threads can completely change our direction in life.

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One minute I am spending 40 hours a week sitting in my home office in front of a computer screen… okay, let me digress for a minute and address some of the working from home questions that have no doubt popped up in your mind…

Yes, I worked from home. Yes, I often worked in my pyjamas. No, I never worked nude or whilst in bed. And yes, I may or may not have taken the odd afternoon siesta on the lounge, particularly while pregnant. And while I’m on the topic of working from home, whenever I talked about returning to work after having a baby everyone would say “oh but you work from home, how convenient, you won’t need day care”. Seriously?? I don’t know about all of you other mums out there but I can barely get my hair brushed or the dishes done let alone have a productive work day when home with my baby.

Now, where was I… Oh yes, one minute I’m spending 40 hours a week in front of a computer screen (working very hard), the next I have a baby who requires my attention around the clock and doesn’t like it very much when I sleep and now I’m about to become a fitness instructor (I know, I can’t say it with a straight face yet) where I get to play with mummies and bubbies and live out my dream of being a (sort of) dance teacher.

I feel so lucky to have found something that allows me to be with my baby whilst contributing to our household finances AND combines my love of dance and fitness with my passion for baby wearing and helping other mamas.

So, my point is (if in fact there is one amongst all of this sleep deprived rambling) if January has slipped past you, stop right now and set yourself a goal for February. As big or as small as you like. But don’t let this next month be just another 28 (or is it 29?) days of the year. It is never too late to change direction… get back on the wagon… or insert other witty cliché here.

Dare to dream

x

 

 

So sleep regression is a thing?

So, sleep regression is apparently a thing? A thing that happens to babies!

I never knew this…

I know about it now though. Not because I’m losing a lot of sleep. I’m losing some, but not a lot.

But I know about it mostly because poor Renee over the past nearly two weeks constantly feels like she has been run over by a truck. And she certainly isn’t shy when it comes to letting me know about it.

So with that, it would appear that Jesse is currently going through the 8 – 10 month sleep regression cycle. It’s common. But it’s tough.

Our once (fairly) good sleeper, has now turned into a monster when it comes to sleeping through the night. Monster is a strong word to use. But you get the drift.

Jesse had almost gotten to the point of sleeping through the night, waking maybe once or twice for some boob and then going back to sleep. Now however, after we think we’ve finally got him down for the night, he will wake up nearly hourly. But he doesn’t just wake up… he wakes up screaming and crying!

I hear him on occasions and it will wake me up. But poor Renee, is the one getting up to him to give him boob to calm him down. To give him cuddles to comfort him. To put him back to sleep only for her to have to get up again in another hour and do it all over again.

I know what you’re going to say, “Why don’t you take over for a night? Give Renee a break?”

I would… but it’s hard when Renee is the one with the boobs and that’s the only thing that’s going to calm him down at 3 am in the morning!

So with all that preamble, what I do want to say is this… Renee, I think you are amazing!

I think it’s amazing that you get up to him all night every night without wanting to wake me for help. I think you’re amazing that you can survive on so little sleep throughout the day without much complaint. I think you’re amazing for not blaming Jesse through this rough period because like me, you know he can’t help it. He’s just developing.

I think it’s amazing that you are able to do this night in and night out, when I would most likely have already cracked. I think that you’re an amazing super mum!

But I wan’t you to know that I am here for you. You can call on me for help. I want to help. Even if that’s just taking over Jesse duty throughout the day so that you can have a rest.

Don’t let it get you down though… this period will pass soon enough. And then we will have our sleepy bubba back.

I love you.

Sleep Regression

Diary of a Lonely Dad: Day 1

Dear Diary,

This morning, I dropped Renee and Jesse off at the airport.

They are heading down to Melbourne together for a course that Renee is doing for her new business that she will be starting in February.

This is the last photo I have of them…

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So far today, without them, my day has looked like this:

  1. Played some GTA V on the Playstation.
  2. Took a trip to Bunnings.
  3. Sprayed Weed and Feed on the lawn.
  4. Picked up the dog s***.
  5. Washed some clothes.
  6. Vacuumed and mopped the floors.
  7. Played some more GTA V on the Playstation.
  8. Went to Dan Murphy’s for beer.
  9. Updated my 365 diary.
  10. And now writing this post.

I’m kind of lost on what to do now. Do I play more GTA V? Do I watch a movie? Do I drink in the dark by myself, wallowing in the misery of not having Renee and Jesse here.

COME BACK… PLEASE COME BACK!!!

No, I’ll be fine.

NO, I MISS YOU BOTH TOO MUCH! I KNOW IT’S ONLY BEEN LIKE 8 HOURS, AND I’M GONE FOR LONGER WHEN I’M AT WORK… BUT I NEED YOU.

Nope, It’s fine Kaine. You can do this. There’s meals in the fridge. You’re going to work all week. So that will keep you occupied. You’ve got seasons 1 to 5 of Game of Thrones to watch. You will be fine.

BUT I MISS THEM!

Come on… Pull yourself together man!

I’M TRYING!!!

Try harder!

OKAY.

Good… Now, go grab yourself another beer, and go watch some Game of Thrones or play some more GTA V. You love playing GTA V. Go on…

ALRIGHT… BUT ONLY BECAUSE YOU SAY SO.

Geez… What a loser. Only the first day and he is carrying on like this. God help us by the time we get to Wednesday!

-K

Photo Friday: Don’t Wake Grumpy

So this past week in the Barton household has been a tough one.

We’ve had teething issues… We’ve had high temperatures… We’ve had heat rash… We’ve had loss of appetite… We’ve had uncontrollable crying… We’ve had tantrums… We’ve had pushing bottles away… We’ve had up the backers…

We’ve had a cranky, tired, unsettled bubba who was quite obviously not dealing with the nasty effects of teething.

All that said though, when he falls asleep… He still looks like the cutest, most peaceful, wonderful little man I ever lay eyes on!

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We can’t wait for the poor little guy to get through this rough patch, getting back to his usual, happy go lucky self.

Stay At Home Mum Life: the good, the bad and the ugly

Being a full time mum may seem like its all Netflix and coffee dates – swanning around the shops in your active wear sipping on a skinny chai latte. But they really are right when they say being a mum is the hardest job in the world. And I’m only 7 months in!

Okay, so there might be a fair bit of Netflix. Especially in those early newborn days. And yes, coffee is now a food group all of it’s own in my current diet… but there is more to it. We parents work bloody hard. Especially those that have jobs and kids to take care of!

So what’s it really like?

I’m gonna start with the ugly while it’s fresh in my mind. Yesterday was ugly! Our usually fairly chilled bub had suddenly become some sort of possessed, teething monster who only operated on two extremes. Screaming and inconsolable! Or snugly and super clingy! Okay, so the snugly clingy part wasn’t so bad, but it was the several plus hours of the inconsolable screaming beforehand that was the really ugly part. It’s the part of parenting where you pretty much lose your s*** but then feel really bad because you know its not their fault. You know your little one is not purposefully sending your blood pressure through the roof. They’re in pain.  And they need their mummy. Thankfully, these really ugly days are few and far between.

And then there’s the bad. Hmmm, where do I start? Well, there’s the ongoing sleep deprivation. If you really want to mess someone up just wake them up every three hours. EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. There are times where they let you go right back to sleep… But then there are times where they just smile up at you and giggle and make you play with them for an hour. When you get one of those “It’s 3am and I’m wide awake” smiles, it is incredibly frustrating and ridiculously cute all at the same time. And then there’s the poo under your finger nails, the vomit on your shirt just as your about to finally head out the door, the thinking you can hear the baby cry every time you get in the shower, and the song Peppa Pig sings about finding a friend for her pet goldfish Goldie that you JUST CAN’T GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD!!! “Fishy fishy fish fish, swimming in the sea. Who will be a fishy friend, for my fish Goldie?”

But then there’s the good. And it is, oh… so… good! It’s that uncontrollable urge to plant an inappropriate amount of kisses on that squishy face whenever it’s in close range. And what is it with baby feet that just makes you want to (ever so gently) bite them? Its the tiny warm body that fits perfectly on your chest as his gently rises and falls with each breath while he sleeps. And even the now not-so-tiny body that still manages to fit just right. Its the chubby little arms that learn to reach out for his mama whenever she walks by. Its the chubby little legs that kick out as you tickle him under his neck and arms. And that throaty laughter that may just be the sweetest sound in the world.

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There is oh so much good. And the best part is, you only need one good moment to outweigh a whole day of ugly moments (and thank God for that, otherwise we’d never deliberately procreate!).

But with all of that, and despite the fact that being a parent really is the hardest job in the world… we  wouldn’t trade it in for anything would we mum’s and dad’s? I love the fact that I am a stay at home mum. And I know there will come a time when my boy will be grown and no longer need me to give him my everything so I will try to treasure it all, the good, the bad… and the ugly, while I can. It sure is tough, but it’s also so incredibly rewarding and fun.

So hold your heads up high stay at home mums and dads… You have the best job in the world!

We’re back: Christmas & New Year Wrap Up (no pun intended)

And we’re back!

We kind of fell off the radar for a while there amongst the Christmas and New Year black hole. Those two weeks where you don’t even know what day of the week it is and you wind up eating and drinking waaaay too much!

So here’s a little catch up…

Jesse’s first Christmas was so enjoyable. He received loads of pressies from family and friends though he mostly just enjoyed eating the wrapping paper! He got an extra special gift on Christmas morning… the most adorable, (and sharp!) little, white toothy-peg peering up from his bottom gum.

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We followed that up with our annual New Year’s trip to the Bunya Mountains. We basically ate ourselves stupid for 5 days and enjoyed the company of some family in one of the many beautiful houses there. See what we got up to here.

Let me just say, staying up until midnight to greet the new year is certainly a lot more difficult these days. Perhaps the last seven months of broken sleep and a significant decrease in alcohol intake has something to do with it!

Despite that though, we did manage to ring in 2016 and it is shaping up to be an incredible year.

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We have already kicked off the year with some spring cleaning (is it still called that if it is in 30 degree summer heat?) at home starting with our home office. After it being the place I spent eight hours a day for the last five years working as a business consultant (before becoming a Mum), I will not be returning to my job next month as we had originally planned.

Instead I will be embarking on an exciting new venture with Jesse as my business partner. More on that to come but we are very excited and for us as a family, it feels like one of those opportunities that crops up at just the right time and though completely different to the original plan, ends up being a perfect fit.

We also have some big plans for NSSLOU this year too. We thank you so much for supporting us so far. With so much content on the interweb we really do appreciate you taking the time to read our little diddies and share your personal experiences and words of encouragement with us.

When we started this project we wanted to create something unique. A space to not only share our parenting experiences but also bring together all elements of our life: parenthood, married life, work, fun, travel and adventure as a collective that is the ‘Not So Secret Life Of Us’. In the hopes that we might be able to bring a little bit of sunshine to your day, make you laugh (or cry) and maybe provide us all with a little bit of comfort that we aren’t the only ones when it comes to life’s many twists and turns. So hopefully we are doing that and can continue to as we embark on the second half of our first year as parents.

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We are so excited for the year ahead. We hope in amongst all the festive season fun you too have found some time to reflect on the year that was and plan for 2016. Give yourself permission to dream up some weird and wonderful goals for the year and make it your best year yet!

Happy New Year!