Tag: Feelings

Diaries of a Dad: Can I do this?

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

Being a parent is tough. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Don’t get me wrong. There are plenty of good times. There are plenty of great times. But on the flip side to that, there are also plenty of rough times.

Times that every now and again make me question myself… Can I actually do this? Can I actually be a dad? Am I really cut out for this?

You know those times… when you’re home alone with your baby and all it does is scream and cry non-stop and no matter what you do and no matter what you say and no matter what you try all your baby does is just scream and cry louder and louder until you get to that point where all you want to do is just throw in the towel or scream into a pillow!

Yup. Those times.

Well, I had another one of those times recently, and again I started to question myself. Am I cut out for being a Dad? Can I do this whole parenting thing? Do I want to do this?

It’s in those moments that I feel so helpless as a parent. As a Dad. It’s in those moments that I feel completely ill equipped to help this tiny human of ours who is completely inconsolable.

But then something happens. Something completely sweet and innocent.

After the screaming dies down. After the crying stops. That little human we made just casually walks over, cuddles up next to me and falls asleep.

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And it’s at that moment that I fall in love with him all over again. It’s that moment that I forget everything that’s just happened in the last two hours and realise how much love I have for him. It’s in that moment, when I feel his chest gently rising and falling with each breath… when I’m taking in the sweet smell of his hair… when I’m gently kissing his cheeks and forehead as he drifts soundly off to sleep… that I realise I can do this!

It’s in that moment that I realise that while it certainly isn’t easy. That while it’s not always going to be rosy. That while it’s not always going to be sunny. That I can do this parenting thing. That I can do this Dad thing.

And ultimately, that I do want to do this Dad thing!!!

Life with a toddler

Renee BartonLeave a comment

Having a new baby is certainly tough at times. There’s the broken sleep every night, 2 hourly feeds, endless nappy changes and the tummy bulge that just won’t budge.

But with all of that comes binge watching Grey’s Anatomy (you have to do something during all that couch time for feeding), day time naps, coffee dates and plenty of visitors bearing pre-cooked meals and willing to cuddle baby while you sleep / shower / have 5 minutes without a baby in your arms or attached to your boob!

Believe it or not though this is actually the easy bit. Soon enough that little newborn that stayed in the same place if you put it down to go to the loo turns into a toddler that insists on following you in every single time, pulling the toilet paper off the roll and wanting to push the flush button for you before you’re even done.

Suddenly getting 30 minutes to watch a tv show or read a book or just do the dishes without a tug on your leg is seemingly impossible. The tables of control turn and you find yourself at the beck and call of a walking, talking, small human.

As my baby has now turned into a toddler seemingly overnight, there are a whole host of things I am learning to be at peace with when living with a toddler.


1. Mess! Food is constantly being dropped on the floor instead of eaten. Toys are more often than not scattered on the lounge room floor and there are crumbs and chocolate stains on the couch.

2. Unfolded clothes. I’ve given up folding his clothes because the clean folded ones inevitably end up in the laundry hamper and the dirty ones in his draws. It’s a fun game apparently.

3. A ‘helper’ for everything. Whether it’s sending an email, sweeping the floor, putting a load of washing on or taking the rubbish out there is my shadow; bashing away at the keyboard and swinging the broom handle around knocking over anything in its path.

4. A dirty child. Food all over his face, dirt on his feet, drawings on his legs and a sweaty head. Keeping this kid clean is near impossible.

5. A new boss. If he’s not helping me do whatever menial yet important task I’m trying to complete, he is literally bossing me around. Not doing what he wants? Be prepared to have him grab you by the hand or clothes and drag you to where he wants you to be. Sometimes he will walk around and push you until you get to his desired location. The bedroom. The couch. He will even grab your hand and push it up to the handle on the fridge if he wants something like the not so secret stash of Maltesers we currently have.

Okay so I’m still working on pretty much all of these. I still cringe when he feeds himself a messy meal with a spoon. And my new handheld vacuum is my best friend.

But there are also loads of super awesome things about life with a toddler. His vocabulary is growing every day, he clearly understands everything I say to him (though he doesn’t always listen) and his little personality and quirks are just so cute as he learns about the world around him.

Not to mention the way my heart melts with every kiss and cuddle he plants on me.

Life with a toddler… I wouldn’t have it any other way!

Bringing in the New Year

Renee BartonLeave a comment

Our New Years getaway was a little different this year. And not just because we strayed from tradition and went to Maleny instead of the Bunya Mountains.

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We went from having no children in our party two years ago to one last year (Jesse) to four this year. A preschooler, a toddler and two babies in the one house certainly kept us all on our toes for the past 5 days. Especially given the multitude of staircases and Jesse’s love of climbing stairs!

But we had such a great time away. Jesse had such a fun time I’m not sure he wanted to come home. Between the big yard to run around in, loads of junk food to eat, his big cousin to play chasey with and his Nanny and Poppy living in the same house, he was a very happy boy!

Being surrounded by family and just relaxing and enjoying each other’s company is such a beautiful way to end the year and start a new one. And next year there will be at least one more baby to add to the group.

Life is good. Happy new year. 

Photo Friday: Cranky Santa Photos

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

So… Jesse got his photo taken with Santa again this year.

However, it didn’t quite go as smoothly as it did last Christmas.

Last Christmas, Jesse was fascinated with the fat man in the red suit with a big bushy white beard. So much so that all he wanted to do was tug on his beard.

This year however… well, I think the photo speaks for itself.


I don’t think Jesse quite liked sitting on Santa’s lap this year. I can’t be positive about that, but it’s definitely a strong feeling I get!

There’s always next year!!!

Who’s Ready for 2017?

Renee BartonLeave a comment

As the final month of 2016 sets in many of us begin to reflect on the year that was and start planning and setting goals for the new year ahead. In amongst all the parties, family do’s and too much food and drink that is!

The dawning of a new year always tends to conjure up a sense of hope and a fresh start. Which I totally love. But recently I have had several people comment to me that this year has been terrible and they can’t wait for it to be over and the new year to start.

I get it. We too have had our share of challenges and crappy things happen lately. But I can’t help but feel unsettled and a bit sad when I hear people say things like this.

I don’t know if it’s the wishing away of our precious time or the false sense that somehow all the hard stuff will just magically be better come January 1st.

I mean, how many of us have started a year with all these grand plans to make this one our year only to get to Christmas and be in the exact same place we were the year before? I know I have.

I’m in no way intending to belittle someone’s struggles. We too have lost a loved one, supported a sick relative and, at times, had our plate feel fuller than we could handle. But I don’t want to wish my time away nor do I think I need to wait for a new year to make a fresh start.

We can do this any time we chose to.

So as my own reflection and goal setting starts I won’t pray for less struggles as I know I’ll never be given a load heavier than I can carry. Instead, I’ll pray for a stronger back.

And I won’t hope for less challenges because it’s those difficult times that make the victories so sweet. Instead I’ll hope to learn and grow from those shit bits.

I’ll try to focus my attention on others because if we help enough people achieve their dreams, we will eventually achieve ours.

If you’ve had a shitty 2016, I’m truly sorry. But 2017 will only be better if you decide it will be.

Take some time to relax and recharge this festive season. Spend time with family, smile at a stranger and drink too much wine… I would if I could!

And may we all be reminded that even on the darkest of days, there is always something to be grateful for.

xx

The Big Christmas Lie

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

Okay… political correctness is officially off the charts! Seriously, what are we as a society coming to? There has been many things that have been bugging me recently… and all signs are pointing to Australia becoming a PC state!

But the straw that broke the camels back for me, was this article titled Academics argue parents are damaging their kids by lying to them about Santa.

I mean come on… REALLY!!!

Apparently, parents who tell their children that Santa is real are participating in a damaging “collective lie on a global scale”, according to an article penned by two Australian academics.

So it would appear that two University of New England social scientists, Kathy McKay and Christopher Boyle, argue that lying is wrong and makes it difficult for children to trust their parents.

The article goes on further to quote these two “social scientists”, who state:
“Is the world so bad that we decide that it is better to spend around 10 years lying to children about a large jolly man who gives presents to all children with the help of mythical creatures, because it makes for more enjoyment at Christmas?

“Why should children question the parent who tells them to be careful touching a hot stove or crossing the road, when they tell them about a jolly man who apparently bends time and space to deliver presents to every child in the world at Christmas?

“If they are capable of lying about something so special and magical, can they be relied upon to continue as the guardians of wisdom and truth?”

Wow… really… GET F***ED!!!

That’s what I say to that. Seriously, it’s bloody Christmas. Can’t parents just have a normal Christmas with their family without being made to feel like they’re doing something wrong because the kids believe in Santa!

The world is already turning too politically correct as it is without making parents feel bad that they give kids the enjoyment of opening presents from Santa at Christmas.

We’ve already got enough people trying to challenge Christmas because of religious sensitives… we’ve got suburbs in Perth changing the date of Australia Day because of cultural sensitivities… and we’ve got companies changing the packaging of Easter Eggs to remove the word Easter, again for religious sensitivies…

I mean come on, don’t we live in a free country? Don’t people learn the whole concept of, if you don’t like it, then just move on anymore?

If you don’t like Christmas… then don’t participate. If you don’t like Australia Day… then don’t participate. If you don’t like Easter… then don’t participate. It’s not that hard. Stop ruining it for the rest of us.

Just let us have our fun on these national holidays.

And let us families with kids have the fun we deserve at Christmas without making us feel bad with bullshit reports about how lying to our kids about Santa is damaging them for life.

On that note, I’m off to make a list of presents for Jesse to be wrapped and put under the Christmas Tree from Santa!

F*** off, how hot is it?!?!

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

F*** off, how hot is it?!?!

It’s probably the one sentence I’ve uttered to myself, and to anyone who is in earshot that’s willing to listen to my constant complaints, at least 100 times over the past week.

Like Carl Barron says, for some reason, Australia seems to be the only country in the world where you can get away with starting a sentence with f*** off!

I don’t know why? Maybe it’s because we are all a little bit bogan deep down inside.

But I will say it again… F*** OFF, HOW HOT IS IT?!?!

I don’t know about you guys, but in this household, we are all struggling big time with this heat. Like seriously… I know Summer is just around the corner, but can you kindly just f*** off with this heat?

Let me at this point say, that I hate Summer. HATE IT! With a passion. But it’s not so much the heat that I don’t like. It’s the humidity.

Humidity is like that one friend that nobody likes and everybody wishes that they’d just piss off and leave, but never bloody do. It’s like that clingy boyfriend or girlfriend that just follows you everywhere. I bet Summer hates humidity. I bet Summer wants to punch humidity in its stupid f***ing face! But it can’t can it. Because Summer and humidity aren’t physical beings.

And in Queensland, the humidity is bad. It’s always bad. And that, is why I bloody hate summer!

I am a winter kid through and through. I love winter. I love wearing warm clothes and wearing jackets when I go outside. I like sitting by a heater or by a fire to warm my fingers and toes up. I like sliding under the doona when I go to bed and pulling it right up under my chin, getting nice and snug and warm for the night.

Then Queensland Summer comes along. Ah… good ol’ Summer. F*** YOU!!!

Summer. Where having a cold shower after you’ve gotten all hot and sweaty is a complete waste of time, because as soon as you step out the shower, you need another shower because you’re all hot and sweaty again.

When all you want to do is rock around in shorts, thongs and a singlet everywhere you go but can’t, because you’re a responsible adult and responsible adults need to wear pants and long sleeve shirts to work. So you drown yourself in deodorant and aftershave before you leave the house only to end up with sweat stains as big as swimming pools under your arms 5 minutes into your commute to work.

Where going to bed is like torture, because you’re house was built before they put air-conditioning in each bedroom. So you turn on the pedestal fan only to have it blow hot air directly into your face as you lay in bed sticking to the sheets trying to get to sleep in what feels like Satan’s very own bedroom.

And for some reason, Summer hasn’t even started yet. But this year, God went ‘F*** it, they won’t mind a little heat and humidity earlier this year!’ Get stuffed mate, I don’t know who you were thinking of, but I’m pretty sure I speak on behalf of most people when I say CAN YOU PLEASE GET RID OF THIS HEAT!!

I’m sweating so much that I think I’m losing more fluids than I am able to intake. I’m pretty sure our dog thinks he’s been sent directly to the bowels of hell. The wife is sick and is struggling with the heat. Jesse is also sick and is now getting heat rash because the weather decided to throw up the middle finger to everyone in Queensland. And everyone in this house is a little cranky.

The only saving grace we have is the forecast of afternoon storms which promise to cool it down, but doesn’t really do anything but cause us the inconvenience of not being able to drive anywhere for the 20 minutes that it decides to rain or hail.

So screw you heat. Please, and I say this with love, can you just bugger off!!!

Also, I still think Summer should punch humidity in its ugly face!

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Footage Friday: 10 Year Anniversary

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

Last Friday, Renee and I celebrated our 10 Year Wedding Anniversary!

And wow, what an amazing day it turned out to be!

We started the day with a drive into Brisbane City to participate in the Story Bridge Adventure Climb, which is apparently, one of only 3 bridges worldwide that the public are able to climb (legally).

We then had lunch at the Story Bridge Hotel before heading over to our hotel for the night to check in.

Our hotel? None other than The Treasury Hotel, the very same hotel we stayed at on our wedding night.

A fancy dinner at Alchemy along Eagle Street Pier ended our perfect day.

And the best thing about it, was that we filmed it all. It’s been a while since we’ve posted a vlog on our YouTube channel… But this feels like the perfect time to jump back into vlogging on the lead up to Christmas (Vlogmas version 2.0 anyone?).

It’s a fairly long video, but we hope you enjoy it none-the-less.

Today I Cried

Renee BartonLeave a comment

Parenthood is so wonderfully delicious. But sometimes it can be really bloody hard.

There have been some tough times in our house over the past couple of weeks. Jesse just wasn’t himself much of the time and we were all feeling burned out.

Thankfully, after the appearance of two lovely little molars and some much needed R&R for Mummy and Daddy, things seem to be getting back to normal.

But those hard bits inspired this…

Today I cried. And so did you.

I cried because I didn’t know what was wrong with you, my love. Because I couldn’t take away your pain or even know where it hurt. 

I cried because nothing I tried seemed to soothe you. 

I cried because for the first time I wanted, needed some time away from you. 

I cried because the flutter in my belly reminded me there will soon be another and I worried how I will cope in times like this with two. 

Today I cried.

I cried because when you felt better you smiled and laughed and played. 

I cried because you cuddled me tight and my heart lightened. 

I cried because the flutter in my belly reminded me there will soon be another. Bliss!

I cried. And I smiled.