Tag: First Time Dad

Stay At Home Mum Life: the good, the bad and the ugly

Renee BartonLeave a comment

Being a full time mum may seem like its all Netflix and coffee dates – swanning around the shops in your active wear sipping on a skinny chai latte. But they really are right when they say being a mum is the hardest job in the world. And I’m only 7 months in!

Okay, so there might be a fair bit of Netflix. Especially in those early newborn days. And yes, coffee is now a food group all of it’s own in my current diet… but there is more to it. We parents work bloody hard. Especially those that have jobs and kids to take care of!

So what’s it really like?

I’m gonna start with the ugly while it’s fresh in my mind. Yesterday was ugly! Our usually fairly chilled bub had suddenly become some sort of possessed, teething monster who only operated on two extremes. Screaming and inconsolable! Or snugly and super clingy! Okay, so the snugly clingy part wasn’t so bad, but it was the several plus hours of the inconsolable screaming beforehand that was the really ugly part. It’s the part of parenting where you pretty much lose your s*** but then feel really bad because you know its not their fault. You know your little one is not purposefully sending your blood pressure through the roof. They’re in pain.  And they need their mummy. Thankfully, these really ugly days are few and far between.

And then there’s the bad. Hmmm, where do I start? Well, there’s the ongoing sleep deprivation. If you really want to mess someone up just wake them up every three hours. EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. There are times where they let you go right back to sleep… But then there are times where they just smile up at you and giggle and make you play with them for an hour. When you get one of those “It’s 3am and I’m wide awake” smiles, it is incredibly frustrating and ridiculously cute all at the same time. And then there’s the poo under your finger nails, the vomit on your shirt just as your about to finally head out the door, the thinking you can hear the baby cry every time you get in the shower, and the song Peppa Pig sings about finding a friend for her pet goldfish Goldie that you JUST CAN’T GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD!!! “Fishy fishy fish fish, swimming in the sea. Who will be a fishy friend, for my fish Goldie?”

But then there’s the good. And it is, oh… so… good! It’s that uncontrollable urge to plant an inappropriate amount of kisses on that squishy face whenever it’s in close range. And what is it with baby feet that just makes you want to (ever so gently) bite them? Its the tiny warm body that fits perfectly on your chest as his gently rises and falls with each breath while he sleeps. And even the now not-so-tiny body that still manages to fit just right. Its the chubby little arms that learn to reach out for his mama whenever she walks by. Its the chubby little legs that kick out as you tickle him under his neck and arms. And that throaty laughter that may just be the sweetest sound in the world.

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There is oh so much good. And the best part is, you only need one good moment to outweigh a whole day of ugly moments (and thank God for that, otherwise we’d never deliberately procreate!).

But with all of that, and despite the fact that being a parent really is the hardest job in the world… we  wouldn’t trade it in for anything would we mum’s and dad’s? I love the fact that I am a stay at home mum. And I know there will come a time when my boy will be grown and no longer need me to give him my everything so I will try to treasure it all, the good, the bad… and the ugly, while I can. It sure is tough, but it’s also so incredibly rewarding and fun.

So hold your heads up high stay at home mums and dads… You have the best job in the world!

You Know You’re A Parent When…

Renee Barton1 Comment

There are many tell-tale signs that you have become a parent. Some are obvious. Yes, that small human being that’s constantly hanging around you now is your child. And some that may have happened subtly over time. Like the increase of toys scattered on the lounge room floor and the ever-growing dark circles under your eyes.

We have certainly noticed a lot of changes in our lives since becoming parents. And we’re only six months in!

So here’s what I’ve found.

You know you’re a parent when…

  1. Tired is the new normal. You can’t actually remember what it feels like to have a night of uninterrupted sleep. The next time you get to do it might be years away, but you know you will never take a full night sleep for granted again.
  2. There is a mini, makeshift bed on the floor next to yours. Though it may only act as a deterrent and it may only last for a few hours before they inevitably end up in your bed anyway, it’s good while it lasts.
  3. 6.30am is now considered a sleep in. What happened to those people that used to sleep in til 10am on Sunday mornings?? Now by 7am your child has kicked you in the ribs, punched you in face and pulled your hair until you gave in and got up. And by 10am you’ve managed to feed and clothe everyone, do two loads of laundry, wash up all the bottles, change clothes again due to a vomit or poop explosion, sing ‘five little Ducks’ three times and if you’re lucky, get ready to leave the house.
  4. Coffee and wine are practically food groups. Or insert other caffeinated / alcohol laden vices here.
  5. Kids shows now grace your television screen for several hours a day. And you sing along with all of the theme songs! Those things are catchy as hell and you find yourself humming them long after the show finished.
  6. Having someone else’s vomit or poop or wee or snot or dribble on you is now commonplace and no big deal.
  7. You narrate EVERYTHING all whilst referring to yourself in the third person. ‘Mummy is just going to go to the toilet and then I’ll be right back to pick you up ok?’
  8. You now talk to your spouse through baby talk with the baby. ‘Mummy thinks Daddy should go and change your nappy so Mummy can have a rest’.
  9. Your camera roll that was once filled with photos of food, travel snaps and drunken selfies is now full of photos of your kid. Often multiples of the almost exact same photo!
  10. You find yourself suddenly much more tolerant of other people’s children. That toddler throwing themselves on the ground at the shops is no longer the spectacle it once was. Instead you are just thankful it’s not your kid this time as you give the parents a knowing smile.

And, for good measure, number 11 is that despite all this you wouldn’t have it any other way. Even on the toughest days a smile, giggle or cuddle from the small human makes being a parent totally awesome.

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A friend said to me recently that of all the people she knows who have children, none of them have ever said ‘Oh, don’t do it, it’s not really worth it’.

I was oddly comforted as I realised she was right. I too have never heard any parents say it wasn’t worth it.

So while it might be bloody hard at times, anything worth doing usually is.

 

The Four Gift Rule

Kaine Barton1 Comment

This Christmas, is our first as parents.

This Christmas, is Jesse’s first.

This Christmas, is not going to be like any other Christmas’ we have ever had before… and we can’t wait!

Christmas with children is fun. We’ve seen the movies! And we remember what Christmas was like when we we’re kids. It was the best time of year! Waking up to find all the presents Santa had delivered, under the Christmas tree waiting for us to open them.

And even spending time with some of our family who have kids. Just seeing the absolute joy on their faces at Christmas time when they get to open Christmas gifts from Santa and loved ones.

But how much is too much? How do you not go too overboard when getting gifts for your children.

I was recently talking to my sister-in-law who told me about this great tradition that they’ve implemented for gift giving at Christmas. The four gift rule.

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When we were talking about it, I absolutely loved the idea of the four gift rule. For a lot of reasons, but mainly because it’s a simple tradition that we can start this Christmas, and keep for many more Christmas’ to come!

So what are your favourite Christmas traditions?

We would love to hear all about how other families spend Christmas and any traditions you have.

 

Our Biggest Parenting Challenge Yet

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

In the past, both on this blog and in general conversation with people we know, we have often talked about how Jesse is a really cruisy baby. And about how lucky we have been because he’s such a happy baby.

“Nah, he hardly ever cries”, we would say. “He’s a pretty chilled baby”.

Well, all that has changed. Our once chilled, happy, easy going baby has turned into a restless, upset, cranky, screaming bubba that is often hard to settle. The culprit? Based on all the evidence we have and research we’ve undertaken, the most likely explanation is that he is starting to go through teething.

So with that, I would like to say that this past week of parenting for us, has been hard. Hard because after becoming accustomed to having such a happy, well behaved baby for the better part of the past 6 months, it has been a little difficult coming to terms with and adjusting to a baby that is cranky and unsettled a lot of the time.

But while it has been hard for us both, it has been especially hard for Renee. When you are a stay-at-home mum and have a baby that demands your full attention for so much of the day and night, it can start to take its toll. But Renee has soldiered on. Being a pillar of support for Jesse and also being a rock for me when I get stressed. And for this reason, words can’t even begin to express my gratitude toward Renee for this.

That said, there is one (huge) thing that both Renee and I need to consider and reflect on. And that is that Jesse is not doing this just for the hell of it. He is not putting us through our paces as parents just because he feels like it. Jesse is genuinely upset, unhappy, and in pain.

When he is uncontrollably crying and just won’t settle down no matter what we try. It’s because he is in discomfort and in pain.

When he keeps waking up every couple of hours during the night because he is unsettled. It’s because he just wants a cuddle and to be comforted.

When he won’t settle in my arms no matter what I do, but will stop crying when he gets his mummy. I need to realise that it’s not that he doesn’t like me. It’s just that he wants his mummy at that moment. Mostly I think, because mummy has the boobs.

And when he won’t take his bottle no matter how many different ways we try to give it to him. It’s because his gums are sensitive and hurt. But taking comfort in knowing that he is still getting nourishment through puree’s and mummy’s boobs.

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We know that babies have limited communication skills. So when it comes to communicating with mums and dads, the only thing babies can really do is cry. And for this reason, we do know that for the moment, the constant crying and unsettled nature is just his way of communicating that something is just not quite right.

I will at this point say this. We aren’t naive about the struggles of having a newborn. We are well aware that there will be parents out there that have had unsettled babies since they were born. Babies with colic. Babies with reflux. The fact that we are going through this rough patch isn’t even a blip compared to what some parents go through with their own babies.

And these parents in our eyes, deserve to be commended. We can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like to have a baby that cries all the time. You must be super parents to be able to navigate your way through the days with a constantly unsettled bubba.

I hereby dub you ‘Super Mum’ and ‘Super Dad’! High five!

I know that the mere fact we have had such a happy and healthy baby leading up to this dreaded teething period has been an absolute blessing. And really, in the grand scheme of things, we really don’t have anything to complain about. And despite the fact that he is going through an unsettled period, he still does give us glimpses of his usual self (happy go lucky Jesse), he is healthy, and he is still bloody cute.

But it’s still tough… Being first time parents and never experiencing this before, ever, and trying to get a grasp of and work through this rough period with Jesse is tough. But I have absolute faith that together, as a unit, we are strong and will work through it and come out the other side with an even happier baby than we had before.

And to all my fellow mums and dads out there (especially the first timers)… we got this! We can do this! And if there is only one thing that you get from this post, I hope it’s that you are not alone in your struggles! Everyone goes through rough patches.

So let’s support each other and get through this together!

We got this!

The Power of Positive Parenting

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

The other week, I had the pleasure of attended a number of seminars for work based around health and wealth. One of the sessions I was grateful for the opportunity to attend on the day, was called ‘The Power of Positive Parenting’.

This session, which was presented by Professor Matt Sanders, was about an initiative called the Positive Parenting Program (Triple P). More specifically, what it is… how it works… how we can get involved… and how it can benefit families with young children.

So what is Triple P? Well, if you look at the official website it says that “Triple P helps you manage your child’s behaviour, emotions and development in a way that isn’t hurtful. You will build strong relationships, communicate well and encourage the kind of behaviour you want to see. Triple P is one of the few parenting programs in the world with evidence to show it works for most families.”

It certainly sounded like Triple P was something that both Renee and I would be interested in, particularly because it seemed to reflect our own thoughts and feelings on the style of parenting we wanted to implement in Jesse’s upbringing.

The Triple P website mentions that when implementing the positive parenting program, there are five key principles. These principles are:

  1. Create a safe, interesting environment
  2. Have a positive learning environment
  3. Use assertive discipline
  4. Have realistic expectations
  5. Take care of yourself as a parent

At the session, Professor Sanders was able to expand on what these principles are, and what they involve for parents looking to raise their children in a safe and positive environment. And with every principle he covered, I started to admire the Triple P philosophy and program more and more. It really got me thinking about the discussions Renee and I have had regarding how we wanted to approach parenting. I then began to see how this positive parenting approach could work in with our approach.

Professor Sanders also covered off on a lot of parenting examples that are taught through the Triple P program. And while they are certainly too long to list in a blog post, the examples he gave really spoke to me. A lot of these examples were things that Renee and I had previously discussed, with the intention of implementing them into our parenting style and approach.

Things like the fact that a lot of positive praise is okay!

That you make family a priority and make sure you give your children your full attention at least once every day. Even if it is only for a couple of minutes, while they show you something they have done.

Encourage your child’s learning. Don’t solve every problem for them. Talk to them and run through how they might be able to solve it on their own.

Use consistent and assertive discipline. Don’t be aggressive. If they do misbehave, ask them questions like “how do you think what you just did impacts on others?”

And always create a warm, loving and safe environment which encourages your children to shine.

While I have often heard of being a peaceful parent, I will admit that this session was the first time I had heard of the term, being a positive parent. And while many of the strategies and principles may be very similar between these two parenting styles, I really think that a blend of the two is what Renee and I are aiming for with our parenting approach to Jesse.

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And while I can sit here as I type this and say that yes, this is absolutely the strategy that Renee and I are going to use in raising Jesse… the fact is that we will still get things wrong. We will still make mistakes. And we also understand that parenting needs to be fluid. You might have a parenting game plan, but you will need to adapt and be willing to make it up on the fly.

But what we have both come to realise, is that having a good foundation to build upon is a great way to approach parenting. And that is what Triple P is offering. A foundation for us to build upon. Somewhere to start. Because being that we are new parents, this is a whole new world for us.

And the best thing of all, is the information we have that is right at our fingertips. Available on-line. Anywhere… Any time… The perfect companion while we tackle this epic new adventure of being first time parents.

And while this whole parenting thing at the moment is pretty much a breeze (on account of the fact that Jesse is still just a little too young to be rebelling against anything except for pureed sweet potato), I know that the strategies we learn today through the Triple P program, will come in very handy in the future.

There is one thing I know for sure though. And that is that I am very excited about raising Jesse to be the man that I know he can and will be.

Footage Friday: 5 Month Milestones

Renee BartonLeave a comment

We can’t quite believe that Jesse is six months old today. Happy half birthday little man!

This past month we have seen so many changes in him. He is getting so big and is learning new things every day.

He has found his feet and loves to grab them when laying down and try to put them in his mouth. And he has also found his voice and loves to test just how loud he can squeal.

Roll the tape…

 

Footage Friday: Peek-A-Boo Baby

Renee Barton1 Comment

Our not-so-little-any-more Bubba will be six months old in a week. And this month especially it feels like he has grown and changed so much both physically and developmentally.

Just this past week he has grasped the concept of peek-a-boo. We stumbled across this rather accidentally.

One evening he was soundly sleeping and we were using the opportunity to do some editing. So when he woke up with a second wind he joined us in the office and we amused him while we worked.

All of a sudden he started laughing hysterically, the most gutsy laugh he has ever done, at me playing peek-a-boo with him.

For several minutes we played together, Kaine and I laughing along with Jesse and giggling to each other about how cute he was. We were just wrapped up in the game enjoying the moment but towards the end I grabbed the trusty iPhone and captured a little bit.

The quality is not great but it was just too cute not to share.

Happy Friday friends.

Footage Friday: Caravan Shows and Swimming

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

T.G.I.F… Why? Because that means it’s Footage Friday again!

On Sunday last weekend, you would have seen us post about the fact that we went to a Caravan Expo and also took Jesse for his first swim.

Well, we thought that it would be a good opportunity to take the vlogging camera with us so we could record what we got up to throughout the day.

We finally got around to editing, exporting and uploading it last night. So here it is, ready for your viewing pleasure on Footage Friday.

Jesse’s First Swim

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

Spring time in Queensland is glorious. So we definitely wanted to take advantage of this amazing weather with a road trip today.

So we packed the car, bundled Jesse up and hit the road to the big smoke for a Caravan and Camping Show and then for lunch and a swim at South Bank.

As you would have read previously, we are in the early stages of planning a big trip around Australia. So when we found out there was a caravan and camping show sale on just outside the Brisbane CBD, we definitely wanted to head in for a look.

But the best part of the day was when we headed over the Brisbane River to South Bank for lunch and a swim. Jesse’s first swim. And it was the perfect opportunity to try our new camera outdoors (since the weather has been rainy and overcast for the past week). We couldn’t wait.

After absolutely demolishing a couple of burgers for lunch, and feeding Jesse his puréed fruit, it was time to jump into the pool to cool off. Jump in for Jesse’s first swim. A swim we knew Jesse was going to love.

And love it he did. He didn’t flinch one bit when Renee took him into the water. And he didn’t complain once while he was in there. Instead, just after i’d finished taking the photos that you can see below, he fell asleep in the water. He really must have loved the cool water against his hot skin.

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It was so cute seeing him enjoying his first swim. Even if it meant that he didn’t enjoy it for very long on account of him falling asleep. But it was great to have such beautiful weather that we could actually get outside and enjoy spring in Brisbane.

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After our little swim, we decided to head off and have a wander through the South Bank markets. Our little family. The three of us, out on a Sunday enjoying the outdoors together.

Before we had Jesse I would look at little families and often think, they look like a nice family. I wonder if young couples look at us now and think the same thing?

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After having such a great day out, on the way home in the car discussion turned to how we should actually get out and enjoy the great outdoors more often. There are YouTubers we watch that are always getting out and enjoying the outdoors. Whether that be just walking around enjoying the sun, or getting our for a skate, bike ride or mountain climbing.

And I even know a few people at my work who are always out and about on weekends. Sharing photos of their latest adventures on Instagram and Facebook.

We came to the conclusion that it doesn’t really cost any money to go out on adventures like that. And that it is definitely something we need to do a lot more of. Especially now that we have such a nice camera to use.

So where do you go on adventures to? Where is your favourite place outdoors to visit? What suggestions could you give us for our next adventure as a family?

As I finish off this post, all I can think about is how excited I am for our next outdoors adventure as a family. #family #love

Footage Friday: 4 Month Milestones

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

Whoops. This post is a day late.

Last weekend, we finally got around to shooting the 4 month milestones video for Jesse. A little late (considering he is nearly 5 months old now), but it is done.

We talk about many things that have happened since his 3 month video, including his second round of vaccinations, his growth and his weight gain, our highlights and an update on his feet.