The Power of Positive Parenting

The other week, I had the pleasure of attended a number of seminars for work based around health and wealth. One of the sessions I was grateful for the opportunity to attend on the day, was called ‘The Power of Positive Parenting’.

This session, which was presented by Professor Matt Sanders, was about an initiative called the Positive Parenting Program (Triple P). More specifically, what it is… how it works… how we can get involved… and how it can benefit families with young children.

So what is Triple P? Well, if you look at the official website it says that “Triple P helps you manage your child’s behaviour, emotions and development in a way that isn’t hurtful. You will build strong relationships, communicate well and encourage the kind of behaviour you want to see. Triple P is one of the few parenting programs in the world with evidence to show it works for most families.”

It certainly sounded like Triple P was something that both Renee and I would be interested in, particularly because it seemed to reflect our own thoughts and feelings on the style of parenting we wanted to implement in Jesse’s upbringing.

The Triple P website mentions that when implementing the positive parenting program, there are five key principles. These principles are:

  1. Create a safe, interesting environment
  2. Have a positive learning environment
  3. Use assertive discipline
  4. Have realistic expectations
  5. Take care of yourself as a parent

At the session, Professor Sanders was able to expand on what these principles are, and what they involve for parents looking to raise their children in a safe and positive environment. And with every principle he covered, I started to admire the Triple P philosophy and program more and more. It really got me thinking about the discussions Renee and I have had regarding how we wanted to approach parenting. I then began to see how this positive parenting approach could work in with our approach.

Professor Sanders also covered off on a lot of parenting examples that are taught through the Triple P program. And while they are certainly too long to list in a blog post, the examples he gave really spoke to me. A lot of these examples were things that Renee and I had previously discussed, with the intention of implementing them into our parenting style and approach.

Things like the fact that a lot of positive praise is okay!

That you make family a priority and make sure you give your children your full attention at least once every day. Even if it is only for a couple of minutes, while they show you something they have done.

Encourage your child’s learning. Don’t solve every problem for them. Talk to them and run through how they might be able to solve it on their own.

Use consistent and assertive discipline. Don’t be aggressive. If they do misbehave, ask them questions like “how do you think what you just did impacts on others?”

And always create a warm, loving and safe environment which encourages your children to shine.

While I have often heard of being a peaceful parent, I will admit that this session was the first time I had heard of the term, being a positive parent. And while many of the strategies and principles may be very similar between these two parenting styles, I really think that a blend of the two is what Renee and I are aiming for with our parenting approach to Jesse.

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And while I can sit here as I type this and say that yes, this is absolutely the strategy that Renee and I are going to use in raising Jesse… the fact is that we will still get things wrong. We will still make mistakes. And we also understand that parenting needs to be fluid. You might have a parenting game plan, but you will need to adapt and be willing to make it up on the fly.

But what we have both come to realise, is that having a good foundation to build upon is a great way to approach parenting. And that is what Triple P is offering. A foundation for us to build upon. Somewhere to start. Because being that we are new parents, this is a whole new world for us.

And the best thing of all, is the information we have that is right at our fingertips. Available on-line. Anywhere… Any time… The perfect companion while we tackle this epic new adventure of being first time parents.

And while this whole parenting thing at the moment is pretty much a breeze (on account of the fact that Jesse is still just a little too young to be rebelling against anything except for pureed sweet potato), I know that the strategies we learn today through the Triple P program, will come in very handy in the future.

There is one thing I know for sure though. And that is that I am very excited about raising Jesse to be the man that I know he can and will be.

Footage Friday: 5 Month Milestones

We can’t quite believe that Jesse is six months old today. Happy half birthday little man!

This past month we have seen so many changes in him. He is getting so big and is learning new things every day.

He has found his feet and loves to grab them when laying down and try to put them in his mouth. And he has also found his voice and loves to test just how loud he can squeal.

Roll the tape…

 

Parenting: The Ultimate Test In Team Work

After kind of a rough morning, it is now Jesse’s nap time and all is quiet in the house.

For a moment I think about how I’d love to just flop on the couch, switch on some Netflix and just mentally recharge before round two. And then I look over to the kitchen and notice the bottles that need washing up. I then remember that load of baby clothes that’s still in the machine that need hanging up to dry. And my thoughts then turn to my next blog post which unfortunately isn’t going to write itself.

Nap time then becomes a mission to get as much done as humanly possible before he wakes up and the cycle starts again.

I tell you what… they are right when they say that being a mum is the most rewarding yet most difficult job in the world! But I wouldn’t have it any other way. As hard as it is on some days for the stay-at-home parent, it is equally as challenging for the one who’s at work all day.

On mornings like we had today, when Jesse is upset and crying for reasons that I can’t quite figure out, I not only have to soothe him, but I also find myself reassuring Kaine that everything is OK. This is partly my own fault, because he wouldn’t even know  if it weren’t for the fact I keep him up to date via text messages and Snapchats throughout the day.

It is mostly good news and cute pics. But when its not, I know that his natural ‘worry wart’ tendencies are even more exacerbated due to him not being able to be here to see or help Jesse first hand.

The plus side of having a partner to navigate this whole parenting maze with is that we balance each other out. If Kaine’s freaking out over something then I try to stay calm so that I can talk him down and be the voice of reason and positivity. And goodness knows he has had to talk me off a ledge a time or two as well. That said, it doesn’t always work out that way and there are occasions when we disagree or simply not know the right action to take.

Being married is one thing but raising a human with another person is the ultimate test in team work. Its no longer just about where the toothpaste tube gets squeezed from, which way the toilet paper goes on the holder or who hogs the sheets at night. We now have to work together to take care of a baby.

Suddenly we’re needing to make all these decisions and we both are desperately trying to get it right and take care of our little man the best we can. I swear every time I run the bath for Jesse, Kaine will ask if the temperature is okay before putting him in. And, probably equally annoying for Kaine is when I come swooping in to console a tired, cranky bub even though he is doing a great job of it himself.

Of course it is not that we are judging each other or that we don’t trust each other’s decisions. We just so badly want to do an exceptional job at raising our little human, and any future little humans that my join our family, that sometimes it all get’s just a little overwhelming.

That said, even though it can be really hard and overwhelming at times, we know its only because we care so much. For our boy. For each other. And about being the best and most exceptional parent we can be.

But at the end of the day, when it comes to our values and our desire to be peaceful, positive parents… We are 100% on the same page. And that is what makes us work!

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Photo: Renee Trubai | Teething Jewellery: Nature Bubz

Footage Friday: Peek-A-Boo Baby

Our not-so-little-any-more Bubba will be six months old in a week. And this month especially it feels like he has grown and changed so much both physically and developmentally.

Just this past week he has grasped the concept of peek-a-boo. We stumbled across this rather accidentally.

One evening he was soundly sleeping and we were using the opportunity to do some editing. So when he woke up with a second wind he joined us in the office and we amused him while we worked.

All of a sudden he started laughing hysterically, the most gutsy laugh he has ever done, at me playing peek-a-boo with him.

For several minutes we played together, Kaine and I laughing along with Jesse and giggling to each other about how cute he was. We were just wrapped up in the game enjoying the moment but towards the end I grabbed the trusty iPhone and captured a little bit.

The quality is not great but it was just too cute not to share.

Happy Friday friends.

Footage Friday: Caravan Shows and Swimming

T.G.I.F… Why? Because that means it’s Footage Friday again!

On Sunday last weekend, you would have seen us post about the fact that we went to a Caravan Expo and also took Jesse for his first swim.

Well, we thought that it would be a good opportunity to take the vlogging camera with us so we could record what we got up to throughout the day.

We finally got around to editing, exporting and uploading it last night. So here it is, ready for your viewing pleasure on Footage Friday.

Jesse’s First Swim

Spring time in Queensland is glorious. So we definitely wanted to take advantage of this amazing weather with a road trip today.

So we packed the car, bundled Jesse up and hit the road to the big smoke for a Caravan and Camping Show and then for lunch and a swim at South Bank.

As you would have read previously, we are in the early stages of planning a big trip around Australia. So when we found out there was a caravan and camping show sale on just outside the Brisbane CBD, we definitely wanted to head in for a look.

But the best part of the day was when we headed over the Brisbane River to South Bank for lunch and a swim. Jesse’s first swim. And it was the perfect opportunity to try our new camera outdoors (since the weather has been rainy and overcast for the past week). We couldn’t wait.

After absolutely demolishing a couple of burgers for lunch, and feeding Jesse his puréed fruit, it was time to jump into the pool to cool off. Jump in for Jesse’s first swim. A swim we knew Jesse was going to love.

And love it he did. He didn’t flinch one bit when Renee took him into the water. And he didn’t complain once while he was in there. Instead, just after i’d finished taking the photos that you can see below, he fell asleep in the water. He really must have loved the cool water against his hot skin.

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It was so cute seeing him enjoying his first swim. Even if it meant that he didn’t enjoy it for very long on account of him falling asleep. But it was great to have such beautiful weather that we could actually get outside and enjoy spring in Brisbane.

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After our little swim, we decided to head off and have a wander through the South Bank markets. Our little family. The three of us, out on a Sunday enjoying the outdoors together.

Before we had Jesse I would look at little families and often think, they look like a nice family. I wonder if young couples look at us now and think the same thing?

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After having such a great day out, on the way home in the car discussion turned to how we should actually get out and enjoy the great outdoors more often. There are YouTubers we watch that are always getting out and enjoying the outdoors. Whether that be just walking around enjoying the sun, or getting our for a skate, bike ride or mountain climbing.

And I even know a few people at my work who are always out and about on weekends. Sharing photos of their latest adventures on Instagram and Facebook.

We came to the conclusion that it doesn’t really cost any money to go out on adventures like that. And that it is definitely something we need to do a lot more of. Especially now that we have such a nice camera to use.

So where do you go on adventures to? Where is your favourite place outdoors to visit? What suggestions could you give us for our next adventure as a family?

As I finish off this post, all I can think about is how excited I am for our next outdoors adventure as a family. #family #love

Photo Friday: Food, Glorious Food

This week we decided to start Jesse on solids….well, if you can call purée a solid.

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Five months may be a little early if you ask the ‘experts’ but he has been giving us all the signs that he was ready for more than a liquid diet.

So we started off with something basic. Some organic pumpkin and swede boiled and blitzed with a little breast milk for added goodness.

And well, we think he liked it.

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We love these photographs captured on our new camera (Olympus EM10 Mark II).

And for good measure, here is a little video too.

Milk Drunk Love Stories: Our Breastfeeding Journey So Far

I was recently asked by our photographer Renee Trubai to contribute to her Nourish: Milk Drunk Love Stories project.

Renee’s vision for the project is to develop a community of parents supporting and cheering each other on by sharing their experiences on nourishing their children in whatever form that may be.

I was delighted to be asked to be involved and spent several days thinking back over our experiences with learning to feed our baby. I was reminded of just how tough those early days and weeks are. What seems so instinctive on the surface is actually a really complex and confusing issue. It is great that we have so much information and so many options available but this also adds to the complexity.

When I sat down to write our story I was taken back to a time not so long ago when I felt like I was never going to get off the couch. All those hours spent feeding our baby, helping him to grow and flourish. The days just disappeared in the repetitive cycle of feeding and pumping all the while trying to learn to read our baby’s cues and understand what he needed. Nights were even harder when we had to do it all again but this time alone, in the dark while the rest of the world slept. Learning to feed our babies often comes with a lot of frustration and tears but also a lot of beautiful moments too.

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If there is one thing I’ve learned during these past five months of being a parent it is that no matter what path we or nature might chose for nourishing our babies we should execute it proudly and without shame. A happy and healthy baby (and a happy Mama!) is far more important than how that nourishment is delivered.

Our story will be shared soon. In the meantime, head over to Milk Drunk Love Stories and check out the beautiful stories from other parents and maybe even share your own. It is an incredibly supportive and uplifting community. We are very proud and honoured to be a part of it.

Footage Friday: 4 Month Milestones

Whoops. This post is a day late.

Last weekend, we finally got around to shooting the 4 month milestones video for Jesse. A little late (considering he is nearly 5 months old now), but it is done.

We talk about many things that have happened since his 3 month video, including his second round of vaccinations, his growth and his weight gain, our highlights and an update on his feet.

I HATE BABY CAR SEATS

So I figured out three things yesterday…

  1. I hate baby car seats!
  2. I hate installing baby car seats!
  3. I hate when I can’t finish installing a baby car seat!

Yes… These three things really ended my day yesterday in a wave of frustration and anger.

Our little Jesse was starting to outgrow his baby capsule. He has always been quite a long baby despite being a lightweight, and lately, his little legs and feet have been sticking out the end of the capsule to the point where he was able to kick the back of the seat.

Right we thought, time to upgrade the seat to something a little bigger and better.

So we packed the car, bundled up the little one and headed out for the morning to look at baby seats! We even thought that this might be a good opportunity to take the camera along and film another vlog.

Well, we did end up buying a new car seat, and a good one at that! We packed it in the boot eager to get home to install this seat that looks like the worlds comfiest chair! I mean, if they made full size versions of this thing, I’d be first in line for one!

We unpacked it, got it ready for installation and then BAM!!! It was like the capsule all over again. What is it with installing baby seats in cars that something has to inevitably go wrong!

In the end, it turned out that the tether wasn’t long enough to reach to the floor in the boot of our Outlander. “Well this is stupid!” I thought. “Why don’t they make these tethers long enough to fit all vehicles?”

We had to abandon the install in search of an extension belt for the tether. Something that, given the time it was, we wouldn’t be able to get until tomorrow.

Luckily, while I stayed at home with Jesse for the morning, Renee was able to find a tether extender, and in the end, we were able to finish the installation successfully albeit a little later than expected.

It really feels like the people in the baby stuff business are just sitting back and laughing at all of us… scheming about how they can best screw with our heads and tempers next!

I’m just glad this new seat is supposed to last Jesse until he is 4 years old. I’ll be buggered if I’m going to install another new one any time soon!!!