Sex After Childbirth

So fellas, you thought negotiating sex during pregnancy was difficult? For nine months you and your partner battled your way through despite the nausea, tiredness, raging hormones and growing belly. Not to mention for many guys, the fear of stabbing your unborn child or somehow risking the pregnancy (which by the way, you can’t).

Well now the baby is out and you are keen to reignite the passion in the bedroom. But let me just say, you now have a whole host of other things to deal with, and you may need to be a little understanding if your lady isn’t as eager to ‘get back on the saddle’ so to speak.

So there’s the obvious… A baby has recently emerged from her body, quite possibly from the same area you wish to become reacquainted with, so she may need some time to heal and feel like herself again. Particularly if the birth was traumatic for her.

She may also be still getting used to the way her body looks in the mirror now. We know you think we’re sexy no matter what and we love that. It might just take a bit longer for us to agree with you.

Secondly, the boobs that you are dying to squeeze because, well let’s face it, they’re huge! Yup, those boobs are probably sore and sensitive. So go easy! I know, she’s constantly teasing you by having them out, right there, in front of you, all the damn time, but be warned, this is to feed your newborn child only – DO NOT TOUCH!

And perhaps the biggest mood killer, she’s really damned tired. Not just the ‘had a big day at work’ kind of tired. But the sheer exhaustion that comes from night after night after night of broken sleep and the endless demand of being at someone’s beck and call 24/7. The kind of tired where if you dare roll toward her suggestively as she finally crawls into bed and is already thinking about when she’ll have to get up for the next feed, you may not live to make any more babies.

So as much as you want to reconnect with your lady, she probably wants to reconnect with herself first. She’s probably craving for just 30 minutes of alone time. To not be touched, not have a hungry baby in her arms or a toddler watching her pee. To take her time in the shower instead of rushing because the baby is crying. Time to get her brows waxed or shave her legs.

It’s these small things that help us to get our sexy back! Just sayin’!

And the more you guys get it, the more you’ll get it. Get it… *wink wink*.

There is nothing more irresistible to a new mum than her man taking the kids for a bit and insisting she have some quality ‘me’ time. Oh and make her a coffee or pour a glass of wine for her every now and again. And then make sure she has her hands free to actually enjoy it.

Sex after childbirth may seem ever elusive and probably a little scary, but these little things can go a long way to making sure you both get what you need.

Let’s talk about (Pregnancy) Sex, baby…

We don’t often write about sex. After all, many of our readers are our relatives. But let’s be real, we are having our second baby so even our parents know we’ve had sex at least twice!

When you’ve been married a long time like we have, sex is fairly predictable. Not in a bad way by any means, you just know what works. You know each other’s needs so well you can pretty much just assume positions and get it done… so to speak.

It’s lovely and familiar and satisfying… But predictable.

But then something throws a spanner in the works. You’ve heard of parent sex right? You know, that ‘hurry up and get your pants off, the kids are finally occupied or asleep’ sex. The type of sex that’s more about speed and efficiency rather than foreplay, intimacy and taking ones time…

Well pregnancy sex is a whole other challenge entirely.  And pregnant-parent sex… well that’s just funny really.

It all started when we finally had our bed to ourselves again last night. Yes! Hurdle number one overcome. Jesse was asleep, and he was asleep in his own bed. Time to make the most of the opportunity. Who knows if (or when) he will wake up and want back into our bed!

However, we quickly realised hurdle number two. Pregnancy. You know that familiar and predictable yet satisfying sex we talked about earlier? Well, it no longer works when you’ve got a huge belly to accommodate. Just rolling over is a struggle let alone trying to be sexy and getting into a position that’s comfortable and…. ahem…. effective.

Oh well, not to be perturbed we pressed on.

Just when we think we’ve found our groove…..dammit… leg cramp. That’s ok. Let’s keep going. Shit… butt cramp. Hang on, let me roll over for a second.

“Ok, let’s try something else. What about we try getting into a position that’s more comfortable?” he says.

Yup, great… let’s do that! Again, not to be perturbed by mood killing cramps mid-session, we fumble our way in the dark. Only slightly resembling a beached whale and sea world rescuer.

Who cares! We press on with the knowledge we might not get the opportunity again for a while. And it’s only going to get more difficult! Initially by a larger bump as we head towards D-day, but then by being parents of two under two.

But as for last night, yes it was funny… no it wasn’t the most romantic time we’ve had. But we got the job done!

High fives all round because we just had pregnancy sex and it was awkwardly great!