Babies and Capsules and Car Trips….Oh My!

The day we brought Jesse home from hospital was a magical day.

After spending those first few days cooped up within hospital walls trying to figure everything out it was an incredible feeling to finally be leaving with our beautiful bundle. The sun was shining and we were both grinning from ear to ear. And our gorgeous, tiny baby boy was snug in his carrier in the back seat of the car and didn’t make a sound the whole way home.

Over those first few weeks when we managed to venture out of the house we were so proud of ourselves, it all seemed so easy with a newborn.

But something is different. Something has changed.

I now feel dread every time I even think about having to put the boy in his car seat and drive somewhere.

Nothing raises the blood pressure quicker or the stress levels faster than being in a car with a screaming, petrified 3 month old.

Oh yes, those days of a tiny, sleeping newborn in the back seat are over and now it is like we have an entirely different child.

And I have tried everything. Talking to him in soft, soothing tones, playing relaxation music, playing classical music for babies (which by the way sounds god-awful and only adds to the stress), playing motivational audios, singing to him, giving him toys – nothing has worked!

Our car trips as a family have resulted in one of us sitting in the back with him, dummy and bottle at the ready. Which seems to work well. He even drifts off to sleep a lot of the time. But when it is just me… a 15 minute car trip is suddenly my worst nightmare.

I thought babies love going in the car. It puts them to sleep right? Wrong! Well not ours anyway. I guess I should consider myself lucky in that I don’t need to drive my kid around the block at 3am because its the only way to get him to sleep.

As frustrating as it is I really can’t blame the poor little guy. He’s scared. It is dark back there, he is strapped down at an awkward angle and though he can hear mummy he can’t see her.

When I swoop in to rescue him he has worked himself up into a hot sweat and the look of sheer terror on his face breaks my heart. I undo the seatbelt as quickly as I can and hold him close whispering reassuring words into his little ears.

I can only imagine how scared he feels back there but boy, I really hope this phase ends… soon!

One remedy I have heard of is printing out a giant photo of mum’s face and sticking it up where baby can see it.

So if you happen to walk past a car in the car park and see a woman’s big smiling face taped to back seat, it’s me. A desperate mother willing to try anything to stop her baby screaming his lungs out in the car.

If you have any other ideas or if you too have a baby crying uncontrollably in your back seat, let me know I’m not alone. Please.

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Don’t let the smile fool you.

Monthly Milestones: 3 Months

Babies grow and change so quickly and ours is no exception.

So we decided it might be fun to record a video each month to create a snapshot in time that we can look back on in the future.

An opportunity to capture the milestones he reached that month, funny stories, his likes and dislikes and our thoughts and feelings as parents at each stage.

This is the first instalment.

Photo Friday: Baby’s First Camping Trip

Every year in the last week of August you will find us getting our country on at the Gympie Music Muster. We have been going for over 10 years and it is definitely one of the highlights of our calendar.

This year however was a little different to most. This year we had our 3 month old baby with us.

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Yes, call us crazy, but we took Bub on his first camping trip, 5 nights in the Amamoor State Forest with 50,000 of our closest friends.

And he handled it like a champ!

What I thought was going to be an agonising car trip turned out to be a breeze. He slept the whole way there and back. And the little guy took to camping like a pro. Thunderstorm and all.

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We must say a big thank you to our awesome friends for being so understanding of our situation and for helping to make our time so enjoyable. It was incredibly reassuring to hear how happy they were that we didn’t back out because we had a baby and that it in no way negatively affected their time (no one really gets much sleep at Muster anyway).

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Obviously he is our number one priority and we made all the necessary adjustments to ensure he was safe and comfortable. But it was also great to prove that we can still do the things we love even though we are parents now.

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Our Fur Babies: Remembering Jack

Long before we had a human baby we had our fur babies.

We are both big dog lovers. We both have fond memories of growing up with dogs as kids and we think it is really important for children to have pets. It is a great way to learn about responsibility but also just an awesome companion for the whole family.

Despite being dog lovers though, our first pet together was a cat! Must have been the lure of that cute little grey kitten. Dr Grey (yes, I named her after Meredith Grey long before Taylor Swift made it cool) is now 10 years old and pretty much just does her own thing in our household. Not even sure she likes us that much!

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Then there is Pacey, our crazy, lovable Malamute cross German Sheppard. He is a big hairy boy of 5 years old but still acts like a puppy sometimes. We love him so much despite the dirt track that has become our backyard.

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But yesterday in the mail I received a reminder of our old boy Jack in the form of his registration renewal. Sadly, we had to put Jackson down in February this year. It was incredibly difficult but definitely the right thing to do for him. He was 15 years old, he had been in our family for half my life, but his quality of life had quickly diminished and we both knew the time had come.

He was such a cheeky boy in his younger days. He’d often follow me to school and I wouldn’t realise until about half way there and I’d have to walk him all the way home again. Then there were the times (yes, more than once) when he ate ratsack and I had to wash his mouth out with salt water whilst crying my eyes out hoping he would be OK. Then there was the time he pooped out an entire sock. Not to mention all of his escape attempts several of which landed him at the pound which is how he came to live with Kaine and I.

When we were at the vet that awful day I kept thinking about the movie ‘Marley and Me’ and how they said Marley wasn’t like regular dogs. That’s how I felt about Jack. He was one in a million.

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When it came time to make the decision I knew I was the one who had to make it. Kaine had brought it up a few times as ‘Buddy’s’ health declined but I just kept hanging on and he just kept on going.

But very suddenly he could no longer walk and I knew he was just holding on for us. I had to let him be free. As I cuddled him and kissed his fury little face I whispered through tears that I was sorry and that I hoped he could forgive me. I just wished he could talk so he could tell me I was doing the right thing.

I was sad to be losing our fury little friend and I was sad that he would never get to meet our little bubba, I was five months pregnant when he went to heaven.

It was one of the toughest days but I’ll never forget Kaine’s support that day. He cried with me as we stood in the vet saying goodbye to our ‘Jacko Boy’.

A little while after that I mentioned to Kaine that it would be cool if we had a baby boy to somehow honour Jack. We had four boys names on our short list each with a different middle name. And when our little boy came into the world we just knew that ‘Jesse Jack’ was the right name for him.

So while we miss our ‘Buddy’ his memory lives on.

The Big Sleep Obsession

When you become a parent, in particular a mum, you become incredibly aware of sleep.

You are either doing it, wishing you were doing it, thinking about doing it or talking about doing it.

Everything is now being weighed up against sleep.

Housework or sleep?

Exercise or sleep?

Sex or sleep?

Sleep will usually trump just about everything else. But often you just want to get some things done or simply enjoy a few minutes to yourself to just lie on the couch and stare stupidly into space (there’s not enough brain power to read all those books I thought I’d catch up on during my maternity leave!).

Watching your baby sleep is both delightful and frustrating. It’s 7.30 pm and he is sleeping. I should really go to bed too. But then BAM… suddenly it’s 9 pm and he’s awake and hungry. Or worse, happy and wanting to play! Damn it, was it really worth staying awake to watch some crappy TV show or do the dishes? I could have had an hours’ sleep!

I’ve now gone 3 months without a solid nights sleep. And I definitely underestimated the concept of sleep deprivation. The last night I slept through was the 25th May. And had I have known it would be my last I would have taken notice and really took pleasure in it.

But that is just life with a baby right. I always knew that would be the case. I’ve missed the odd night of sleep due to a big night of partying and I survived that fine. This will be a piece of cake. No ‘job’ to get up for so I’ll just go with the flow and sleep when I can…

Well that’s all well and good in theory but I’ve come to realise it is really f#*%ing annoying to be woken up 3 times a night, our bodies are not built to do that. And you go through your days with a foggy brain which only gets worse. Some days I really wonder if I should be operating a vehicle!

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Other people are now suddenly obsessed with mine and my babies sleep habits too. Any conversation usually includes “so is he a good sleeper?”

My answer is always yes. But what does that even mean? I say yes because at least I’m getting some sleep. Two hour blocks has now increased to 3-4 hour blocks most nights. And when I get 5 in a row I feel like a new woman!

Then comes the obsession with the elusive ‘sleeping through’ phenomenon. When is my baby going to do it? Her baby is two months younger and is already doing it. Am I ever going to sleep like a normal person (aka my husband) again?

For the most part of the last 3 months we have co-slept. Not something I thought I would do but worked for us and has kept us sane. But I’m now ready to reclaim our bed and sleep comfortably again.

Jesse is not a fan of the bassinet so it looks as though we are going to attempt to move him straight to his cot in his own room. Eek!

Wish us luck!

What are your tips for getting baby to sleep on their own or moving to their cot?

Photo Friday: Baby Discovers His Hand

One of the most thrilling parts of having a new baby is watching them grow, learn and discover.

Mr Jesse has recently discovered his fist….well the left one at least.  Several times a day when his hand passes his face he gets fixated on it for minutes.  Staring and studying it with immense fascination.

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It is such a joy to watch him discovering his body and the world around him. We look forward to seeing him learn to roll, sit up and all the other precious milestones that are no doubt just around the corner.

What are your favourite milestones to watch your baby achieving?

The Fourth Trimester: A Love Letter to My Son

It is done. You are officially twelve weeks old. And it has been swell, my love.

After nine beautiful months, three trimesters, of growing you in my belly every day wondering what you would be like. We have now spent the fourth trimester, your first three months in the outside world, falling in love. And I for one am smitten.

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You are the sweetest little boy. I will cherish this special time we’ve had together forever. Our secret rendezvous in the middle of the night. Our delicious afternoon naps together. Carrying you close to my body making us both reminisce about those months you spent inside. And our morning snuggles in bed, my heart melting with every smile.

You have already grown so much. From a tiny, slippery bundle I could hold in my two palms to a chubby bouncing boy. The tiniest clothes were too big for you and now you are filling out your 000 outfits.

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When I felt you kicking in my tummy I knew we had a special connection. When I held you for the first time I knew I loved you. But now that I know you I know that my heart now lives outside my body. When you are sad and cry my heart aches like never before. And when you smile it sings.

These past 3 months haven’t been easy have they, my love. We have had some tough times together. I know you love it out here with us but it has been hard transitioning from the warm and cosy home in my tummy and sometimes you miss it. I miss it too.

Remember our second day together? You were so hungry and we were both learning what to do. We cried together that night in hospital but we made it through.

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I can’t promise that there won’t be more hard times ahead. But I can promise that we’ll be together so we’ll be alright.

My precious boy, thank you for choosing me to be your Mummy.

I love you.

Footage Friday: Smiley Bubba

We are waiting with bated breath to hear the delightful sound of Jesse’s first laugh.

He often shrieks with joy as he smiles and kicks his legs. And there have been a few times when he has smiled and had a little chuckle in his sleep but he is yet to let out a definite baby giggle.

Today’s Photo Friday is a cute video of our smiley bubba.

Mission Possible: Getting Out of the House with a Baby

Before having a baby I had heard parents complain about how difficult it was and how long it took to leave the house with a baby. And yes, now I know what they were talking about.

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Before baby, husband and I could be out the door within a few minutes of making the decision.

“Want to go out for lunch?”

“Sure!”

Freshen up, grab keys, wallet and phone and out the door we go.

Now it is a juggling act. I feed the baby while he gets ready then he changes the nappy and preps the gear while I get ready. By then it is time to feed again and after all that we might actually manage to throw everything in the car, buckle baby in his car seat and leave the house.

Phew… nap anyone??

In all seriousness though, I still firmly believe that, with a bit of patience and flexibility, it is possible (and important) to still be outgoing and enjoy a life outside the four walls of home.

So here are some of the things I’ve learned about venturing out of the house with a new baby.

  1. Preparation is key. Always take more stuff than you think you will need including clothing, blankets, bottles and nappies.
  2. Time your outings so that you leave straight after a feed. This way you can maximise time before the next feed is due, in theory anyway.
  3. Try and avoid taking baby in and out of the car more than twice in one outing.
  4. Breastfeed in public. It will feel really awkward at first. Much harder than simply whipping off your shirt and unashamedly popping your boob out when at home. It takes some practice to be able to juggle baby whilst trying to modestly unhook your bra and subtly hide your breast pad somewhere whilst getting bub to latch. And hey, if you happen to flash a bit of boob, try not to worry. It is natural, your baby is hungry and people should just get over it.
  5. Even when using the pram always have a wrap or carrier handy just in case bub gets cranky and wants out.
  6. When baby starts to get grizzly, it is time to go. Avoid being tempted by one more shop or one more errand as this will often lead to a screaming baby and stressed out mum on the ride home.
  7. Enjoy being out. Having a baby doesn’t mean your social life has to end or that you need to be housebound. Getting out every so often will help you to appreciate those days at home endlessly feeding on the couch whilst watching Netflix.
  8. If it all seems too hard, just try grabbing the pram or your favourite carrier and going for a walk around the block. The fresh air will do you both a world of good. Not to mention a little bit of exercise too.

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So my question to you is, what are your tips and tricks for getting out of the house with your little ones?

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A Terrible Case of the Post-Partum Body Blues

I get it. My body is amazing. It created, grew and gave birth to a human. Blah, blah, blah.

But am I a horrible, shallow person if I’m not totally wrapped about my post-miracle body? Nearly three months on and I really thought I’d at least be on track to getting back to how my body looked before. But the reflection staring back at me is still much different to what I’d like to see.

My clothes are bursting at the seams and having to ‘tuck’ my stomach into my waistband is not exactly doing wonders for my self esteem right now.

Don’t get me wrong, I really do think women’s bodies are amazing. Pregnancy and childbirth really are a miracle. But in order to be the best mum and wife I can be, I need to take care of myself and get back to liking what I see in the mirror.

I really loved being pregnant. When we were trying to have a baby I absolutely couldn’t wait for my belly to swell. I wanted to rock my baby bump and I was proud of it. I was also incredibly lucky in that I didn’t suffer from uncomfortable bloating or unsightly cankles. In fact, I actually lost weight in my first trimester. No, I wasn’t throwing up with morning sickness. I had just started a 12 week challenge before I knew I was pregnant as I had some unwanted kilos to shift following our Euro Trip where we ate and drank like kings for a month.

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But then into my second and third trimesters the kilos started to stack back on. And despite saying that I wanted to have a really clean pregnancy, I ended up addicted to carbs and sugar again. I didn’t over do it to a dangerous extent but I did probably enjoy myself a little too much. I was still relatively active and was still doing high intensity weights up until the week before I gave birth.

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I kind of thought that once I had the baby I would immediately drop five kilos, I’d get back to training as soon as possible and for the most part everything would return to how it was. I mean, with breastfeeding I should spring back into shape in no time right? Wrong. Breastfeeding has just made me starving ALL THE TIME!

I was eager to return to weight training but had to wait the obligatory six weeks. But as soon as I got the ok I started back again plus I have added KangaTraining and a post-partum Ultratone program to the mix.

I have slowly started to change my diet and get it back to what it was post pregnancy. But I still have a long way to go.

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I am trying not to be too hard on myself and have more realistic expectations but it is difficult not to get a bit down sometimes.

Looking at my beautiful little boy it is totally worth it. But it is time to get this Mama back into shape!

For my son, for my husband, but most of all for me.