Author: Renee Barton

When Mama Gets ‘Me’ Time…

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Last week I was driving in my car and I was alone. For the first time since Jasper’s birth (he is now 10 weeks old) I was alone. And not just the kind of ‘alone’ you get in the shower or when the kids are asleep but actually really, properly alone.

And it was devine!

I love my boys but shit I miss just being by myself sometimes.

My personality means that, though I enjoy being around people, it drains me. I need alone time to re-energize. And having young children, breastfeeding, bed sharing, as much as I love it all, can leave me feeling ‘touched out’ sometimes.

But on this night I left Kaine and the boys at home, 3 bottles of express milk in the fridge and headed out. A 20 minute drive alone in my car had me feeling relaxed and revived. And that was just the beginning.

I collected my bestie and we headed to a night of dancing and singing along to none other than Hanson. Yes, they are still around. Yes, they are actually super talented. And yes, they still get hearts racing. Except those hearts now belong to thirty-something’s not teenagers.


It was a great night. I was tired and my boobs were close to exploding but I felt like I had reconnected with me again.

I hear from mum’s that have 12 month old babies and older that still have not been away from them and had time to themselves or dates with their partners. And honestly, I don’t know how they do it. Perhaps they don’t need it like I do?

But for those mum’s like me who need a bit of time out, there’s no shame in it. In fact, I honestly believe taking some time out makes us better mothers and better wives.

So whatever it is for you; a shopping trip without  toddler tantrums, a hair appointment to sort out that dirty mum bun or a night out with a girlfriend reliving your youth, do it!

Photo Friday: A Day With Thomas

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In the last few weeks Jesse has become obsessed with trains and ‘Thomas the Tank Engine’. He loves the show, has been collecting the Thomas minis and carries “Toot Toot” with him everywhere. 

So yesterday I rallied the grandparents and took the boys to the Ipswich Workshops Rail Museum for the “A Day With Thomas” event. 

It was a great day out. Jesse absolutely loved it. He didn’t know where to look first. I just love seeing the world through his eyes. 





Photo Friday: Milk & Love

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A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of attending a morning tea hosted by Milk & Love; a gorgeous boutique business specialising in maternity and nursing fashion. 

It was a beautiful warm winters day, the boys were super well behaved (despite a poo-nami from Jasper just as we arrived) and the company of the other mum’s and business owners Corryn and Richard was delightful. 

During our time there Richard captured these devine photos of me and my boys. 



I feel incredibly blessed to be on my second breastfeeding journey. Already a different experience to the first but every bit as rewarding. 

I was nervous about how I would breastfeed a newborn and take care of a toddler knowing how time consuming feeding can be. But for the most part Jesse is extremely respectful of Jasper’s need to nurse and often takes the opportunity to snuggle on the couch with us. He also often chooses that exact time to climb precariously onto something or need me to fix a shoe or a toy that really requires two hands but hey, we’re doing alright. 

Big thanks to Richard for these photographs. And to Milk & Love for making beautiful clothing for us mamas. 

Photo Friday: Jesse’s First Haircut

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There are many ‘firsts’ in life, so it would seem that a haircut should be fairly insignificant. But in fact for parents, it is another one of those events that remind us our baby is no longer a baby and is now in full blown toddlerhood. 

We had this experience over the weekend when we took Jesse for his first proper haircut by a hairdresser. 

Kaine attempted to trim Jesse’s fringe so it wasn’t in his eyes. But when that went hysterically wrong, it was off to the hair dresser!

There were tears in the chair and then tears when we had to drag him away from the amazing wooden train set in the waiting area. But all in all it went well and our big boy looks super cute with his new hair do. 


Bye, Bye Postpartum Honeymoon

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The past 6 weeks have flown by so fast but yes, Jasper is now 6 weeks old. The first 6 weeks with a newborn really is like a honeymoon period. The oxytocin is flowing, mama and baby are bonding, visitors are showering you with gifts and food. It’s incredible. 

And then the 6 week mark hits and all of a sudden you are just magically meant to have your shit together. The fan fare has faded, the fog begins to lift and the new normal takes hold. Routines are starting to form (some days), and our bodies are, for the most part, ready to handle our normal-life activities again. 


While the postpartum honeymoon period might be drawing to a close, we continue to fall more in love with our bubba. And our big boy as he slips beautifully into the role of big brother. And I reckon I can milk calling Jasper a newborn for at least another 6 weeks despite the fact that he is a chunky 5.2kg already!

Photo Friday: Not Quite Newborn

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When Jesse was just 14 days old, our amazing photographer Renee Trubai came to our home and photographed us and our little boy. She captured the rawness of us as brand new parents and all the wonder that is a brand new baby.

This time we were left to our own devices (literally) to photograph Jasper as Renee tends to her two month old twins.

We’re trying desperately not to fall into the trap of having a million photos of the first born and none of the second, but it can be tricky at times!

But 4 weeks and 4 days old, we finally got around to taking a few shots. Using our own camera, a tripod and Kaine’s iPhone (which we had to crop out of some pics!), we managed to get a few nice ones for the photo book.



This one is particularly hilarious to us because instead of looking like a delicate newborn like Jesse did, Jasper is a chunky monkey complete with arm rolls! Super cute though!

Oh yea, and Renee, we tried our hardest, but nothing compares to the photos you take. WE NEED OUR AMAZING PHOTOGRAPHER BACK!!! 😝😂

Sex After Childbirth

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So fellas, you thought negotiating sex during pregnancy was difficult? For nine months you and your partner battled your way through despite the nausea, tiredness, raging hormones and growing belly. Not to mention for many guys, the fear of stabbing your unborn child or somehow risking the pregnancy (which by the way, you can’t).

Well now the baby is out and you are keen to reignite the passion in the bedroom. But let me just say, you now have a whole host of other things to deal with, and you may need to be a little understanding if your lady isn’t as eager to ‘get back on the saddle’ so to speak.


So there’s the obvious… A baby has recently emerged from her body, quite possibly from the same area you wish to become reacquainted with, so she may need some time to heal and feel like herself again. Particularly if the birth was traumatic for her.

She may also be still getting used to the way her body looks in the mirror now. We know you think we’re sexy no matter what and we love that. It might just take a bit longer for us to agree with you.

Secondly, the boobs that you are dying to squeeze because, well let’s face it, they’re huge! Yup, those boobs are probably sore and sensitive. So go easy! I know, she’s constantly teasing you by having them out, right there, in front of you, all the damn time, but be warned, this is to feed your newborn child only – DO NOT TOUCH!

And perhaps the biggest mood killer, she’s really damned tired. Not just the ‘had a big day at work’ kind of tired. But the sheer exhaustion that comes from night after night after night of broken sleep and the endless demand of being at someone’s beck and call 24/7. The kind of tired where if you dare roll toward her suggestively as she finally crawls into bed and is already thinking about when she’ll have to get up for the next feed, you may not live to make any more babies.

So as much as you want to reconnect with your lady, she probably wants to reconnect with herself first. She’s probably craving for just 30 minutes of alone time. To not be touched, not have a hungry baby in her arms or a toddler watching her pee. To take her time in the shower instead of rushing because the baby is crying. Time to get her brows waxed or shave her legs.

It’s these small things that help us to get our sexy back! Just sayin’!

And the more you guys get it, the more you’ll get it. Get it… *wink wink*.

There is nothing more irresistible to a new mum than her man taking the kids for a bit and insisting she have some quality ‘me’ time. Oh and make her a coffee or pour a glass of wine for her every now and again. And then make sure she has her hands free to actually enjoy it.

Sex after childbirth may seem ever elusive and probably a little scary, but these little things can go a long way to making sure you both get what you need.

Four Weeks as a Family of Four

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I can’t believe how quickly these past four weeks have gone. A whole month has passed since we welcomed our second son Jasper James into the world.

One minute I was 40 weeks pregnant praying my baby would come soon, the next we’re rushing to hospital and almost giving birth in the hallway while the birth suite was being cleaned. To now, holding a one month old beautiful boy.


And a big boy at that! At nearly 4kg born he is now 5kg and pushing into 000 clothes. His brother was still in 00000 at 4 weeks old. Not only are they different in size, but in looks and temperament too. It’s so fascinating.

So for a whole month we have been parents to two under two (Jesse’s second birthday is in two weeks time). We feel so incredibly blessed by our two boys but shit, this gig is gonna be tough!
Already I’ve been wracked with guilt. Am I giving each of them the attention they need? And already I’ve cracked a few times under the pressure of sleepless nights.

For the first week I think I was still running on adrenaline and new mama hormones. But a month on there have already been a few rough nights between the toddler having night terrors and the baby being awake for hours at a time because he has a blocked nose.

The real test is coming next week though, when Kaine returns to work. What will I do without someone to take the early shift so I can get another hour sleep? Without someone to answer Jesse’s request to play when I’m feeding Jasper? And without someone to share the nappy changing progression line with?

As challenging as it is, it is also pretty great. The boys already have a beautiful relationship forming. 


So, welcome to our family Mr Jasper and happy one month birthday.

Photo Friday: Our two babies…

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Every day we are astounded at how different our boys are. We are constantly reminiscing back to when Jesse was a baby and how different Jasper is to his older brother.

Apart from their completely different colouring and features, they are also very different in size. At just 3 weeks Jasper has already come back to and surpassed is birth weight, weighing in at a monster 4.7kg. Compared to Jesse who didn’t weigh that much until he was 3 months old!

Jasper is already wearing clothes of his brothers that Jesse was wearing much later. So we decided to have a bit of fun with this.

On the left is Jesse at 9 weeks old and on the right, Jasper in the same suit at 2.5 weeks old.

No doubt we will notice many differences as they grow up but there is no denying they are already very much in love with each other.

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The Terrible Twos: Is it a real thing?

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I’ve heard a lot about the ‘terrible twos’. I’ve seen other people’s children throwing epic tantrums in the grocery store and I’ve seen the memes on Facebook about ruining a toddler’s day by giving him the wrong coloured sippy cup! But is it a real thing? Surely my kids won’t do that…right??

Our big boy Jesse turns two at the end of the month and it is safe to say he has a lot going on in that little mind and body of his at the moment.

Not only is he experiencing a whole host of develmental milestones, he is experimenting with his independence and all the while adjusting to life with a newborn in the house. As are we all!

Over the past few weeks, our usually happy and calm toddler will suddenly burst into a full blown tantrum; stamping his feet and squealing loudly when he doesn’t get what he wants. And we’ve previously mentioned his night terror episodes where he becomes almost possessed-like, stuck in an eratic state between sleep and awake. Some days Kaine and I look at each other and say “who is this child?”


So yes, it would seem the ‘terrible twos’ are a real thing. And despite our best efforts, we are not immune to the crazy behaviour of a two year old.

For example, here are a few things that have caused meltdowns lately:

  • Offering food he does not want to eat.
  • Attempting to remove footwear for sleeping even if they are seemingly inappropriate i.e extremely warm slippers on a hot night.
  • Removing clothes for a bath.
  • Giving a bath.
  • Taking him out of said bath before he’s ready even though he didn’t want to get in it in the first place.

As a parent in this day and age, I am really grateful that we have so much content at our fingertips. A quick surf on google and we found some really great articles on techniques for managing night terrors and dealing with tantrums. There’s also a lot of opinions we didn’t agree with but as first time parents we find it really helpful to do the research and then implement what feels right for us.

With tantrums, there seems to be two schools of thought; ignore the negative behaviour completely or acknowledge the child’s emotions and help them to understand it. We are choosing the latter. Providing he isn’t hurting anyone or damaging anything we are letting him execute his tantrum and offering support and an explanation he can understand.

We’ve realised we can’t necessarily stop the tantrums. And nor do we want to really. We’ve learned it’s an important part of development and learning.

We can only hope that there aren’t too many public meltdowns in the middle of Woolworths because we wouldn’t let him have the box of shapes or bag of chips he wanted! God help us!