We are edging closer and closer to Jesse’s first birthday. Eek!
His tenth month saw the end of breastfeeding, more teeth and a weird love of peas.
Author: Renee Barton
365 Project: The Home Stretch
A little over a year ago we decided to document our first year as parents – a 365 project and one of the catalysts for this blog.
Here’s a little reminder of what we set out to do.
We will:
- For the entire first year of Jesse’s life and our first year as parents, chronicle our journey through writings and photos.
- Both journal something every day of Jesse’s first year of life and our first year as parents, no excuses (no matter how sleep deprived we are)!
- Each take a photo every day of Jesse’s first year of life and our first year as parents, no excuses (crappy, badly lit, grainy selfies at 5 minutes to midnight included)!
- Not share our journal entries or photos with each other, until after Jesse’s first birthday (the official end of the project).
- At the conclusion of The 365 Project, compile and publish the journals and photos as two individual books titled ‘Not So Secret Life Of Us: A year in the life of a first time Dad’ and ‘Not So Secret Life Of Us: A year in the life of a first time Mum’.
We are 343 days in now so well and truly on the home stretch. And though it’s been challenging at times I’m proud to say that we have managed to stick to our intentions for the project.
The hardest part for me has been taking a photo every day. It sounds easy enough and like most mum’s my camera roll is full of photos of my baby. But some days have been so full on the only time I’ve been able to take a quick snap is when Jesse has fallen asleep for the night. And other days there’s just enough time to click a few selfies in between meal times, play time and nappy changes. So this means plenty of dark, grainy shots of Jesse sleeping and selfies with bad hair and dark circles under the eyes.
I’m not sure how interesting it will be for others to read. A New York Times best seller is probably out of the picture! Some days my entries are only a few words long while on other days I have waxed lyrical about the joys and challenges of new motherhood. But I am really intrigued to read Kaine’s finished product as I’m sure he has written thoughts and feelings that weren’t vocalised (as I have) over the last 12 months. I’m also looking forward to looking back over my own and reminiscing, particularly those early days and weeks.
Honestly, it really hasn’t felt like a chore at all and it will actually be kind of weird not to do it any more. Though preparing our finished products as books will certainly keep us busy for a while yet.
I’m really proud that we have stuck with it and no doubt we will have a new project in the works soon enough.
Photo Friday: Jesse’s Outdoor Adventure
We were all getting a bit of cabin fever this past long weekend (especially Jesse!) so we packed a picnic and invited some family to join us for some outdoor time at a local park.
Jesse had a blast swinging with Nanny, lunch time with Aunty Lia and Uncle Matt doting over him and his first time chasing a soccer ball around.
What Makes You Feel Beautiful?
Recently my two best girlfriends and I were invited to participate in another wonderful photography project by Renee Trubai called “Hear Her ROAR”. Renee says, The project is about showing women the beauty of themselves that has perhaps been forgotten, ignored or tucked away. It’s about rejuvenating- and celebrating- your love and respect for yourself.
This is simple for me … I want to show women the strength of their own beauty.
Renee Trubai
We haven’t yet scheduled the shoot but the preparation for this session, and all of Renee’s work, starts long before the first frame of film is snapped. She always does a thorough consultation first and provides some nuggets to mull over beforehand so that we go into the shoot with a mindset and vision for the end result.
For the preparation of this session Renee asked a seemingly simple yet quite challenging question, for me anyway.
What does beauty mean to you, for you? What environment / outfit / music / style / activity lights you up inside … the kind that has your eyes sparkling?
Whoa! Instantly I was blindsided by these questions. When was the last time I felt really beautiful? What does it look like when I feel beautiful?
My immediate answers to these questions seemed obvious. Well, I feel beautiful when my husband tells me I look pretty or when my little boy cuddles and kisses me. I feel beautiful when I’ve had my hair done at the salon and my nails are freshly polished.
And then I realised that these things were all about other people showing me I’m beautiful. But I wondered how I make myself feel beautiful. Just me. Not a compliment from someone else or when I’ve actually had the time to get primped and preened by a professional.
I wondered if I really didn’t know myself all that well and what I do, wear or listen to feel beautiful or whether I had just not ever really stopped to think about it. Maybe both.
I don’t wear much make up these days and most of the time my hair is dirty and tied up out of the way. I can’t remember the last time I wore high heels and most of my nice dresses still don’t fit almost a year after giving birth.
But when I think about what beauty means to me and what makes me feel beautiful in my daily life now, I think about laughing with my girlfriends so hard my tummy hurts. Teaching a Kanga class, working my body and helping other mums. I think about the empowerment of giving birth to my child and the strength I am learning now that I am a mother. I think about being on holidays, adventuring and exploring.
Don’t get me wrong, I still feel like a million dollars when I get the chance to dress up, when my body is trim and when I’ve spent hours being pampered at the salon. But to me, a truly beautiful woman is one that is happy, powerful and confident. A woman of strength. One who tries new things, loves fiercely, smiles a lot and can laugh at herself.
So I challenge you to think about it… What makes you feel beautiful?
Photo Friday: Getting back to nature
This is a bit of a throwback Thursday on a Friday.
Yes. That totally makes sense!
We love getting outdoors with Jesse. And he absolutely LOVES it! Crawling in the grass… the fresh air… the wonderful new smells and sights… It must be like a sensory overload for him.
And now that it’s getting a little bit cooler, I imagine us getting outdoors a lot more often!
Autumn in Queensland = Love!
Our Breastfeeding Journey: Part III
I think its over. After nearly 11 months I think my breastfeeding journey with Jesse is coming to an end.
And yes, I am sad about it. I never really understood the emotional part of stopping until recently. But I’m also really happy and proud that we were able to do it for this long.
When I last shared about my breastfeeding experiences Jesse was 5 months old and I was hoping to keep going for at least one more month. And here we are another 5 months later.
Breast feeds have become less and less frequent over the last few months, so about two weeks ago we decided to start weaning from night feeds and start encouraging Jesse to take a bottle through the night instead. This was mostly because he was waking up so many times during the night to comfort feed that I needed to do something. Within a few days it had worked and I was then just offering once through the day; more so because I wasn’t quite ready to stop yet. But it has now been several days since our last feed so I am coming to terms with it being over for good now.
I could feel the end was near so I made sure I treasured those few minutes a day together over the last couple of weeks. And I’m embracing the fact that my baby is no longer a baby and will soon be turning one. Oh my!
Now that I’m at the final stages, I have loved breastfeeding my son so much. It was such a special time together and often times the only thing that would soothe him. Whether it be sore gums from teething, a tummy ache or a bad dream. It was Mummy and her magic boobs to the rescue.
But there were times when I was so tired and felt so touched out that it really was one of the most challenging parts of being a new mum. There are many things I will miss about breastfeeding but also several that I won’t. I am also really excited to wear normal bras again. Normal clothes again. And not be the only one that can get up to him through the night! Yay!
Let’s face it though, I probably still will.
So until next time, that is the end of breastfeeding for me. It has been lovely. And hard. And beautiful. And exhausting.
And I wouldn’t change a thing.
Photo Friday: 10 days / 10 weeks / 10 Months
A Mother’s Promise
I read a story recently that has continued to impact on me and challenge me since reading it.
The story was of one mum’s promise to go to her baby when he cried for her no matter how tired or touched out she was, as the result of learning a heartbreaking reality for babies in an African orphanage.
She recounted the experience of a friend who had visited an orphanage and had been struck by how quiet one of the rooms was despite having over 100 babies in it. When they asked how so many babies could be so quiet the response was that they’ve realised no one is coming for them when they cry so they just don’t any more.
Uh. Cue heart break.
Straight away I related to this woman’s promise to her baby to go to him. That’s the kind of mum I want to be I thought to myself. I felt so sad at the thought of a little baby crying for their mother that would never come to them.
That night as I heard Jesse stir through the monitor for the fourth time since putting him down I threw back the covers and whispered into the darkness “damn it, Jesse”.
Doesn’t he know I’m tired? Doesn’t he know that I can’t take many more nights like this?
As I stepped into the hallway hearing his cry getting more desperate, I felt a pang of guilt and the story came flooding back to me.
No. He doesn’t know I’m in the other room praying for more than a couple of hours of sleep in a row. All he knows is its dark, he’s alone and he wants me to comfort him.
The same battle plays out through the day as he constantly climbs up my leg begging to be cuddled only to want to be put down again moments later. And then up again. And then down again.
My patience wears thin. But what about that promise to go to him no matter what? What about those silent babies who’ve given up on waiting for someone to come to them.
Goodness me. Being a parent really is a mind f*** isn’t it!
I was going to finish the post there feeling there wasn’t much else left to say when something beautiful happened.
I scooped up a begging Jesse into my arms for the hundredth time and read back this post aloud the way I always do before publishing it. And almost as if he knew what I needed, Jesse reached out, turned my face towards his and pressed his open mouth against mine. I was expecting an enthusiastic poke in the eye or finger shoved in my mouth but this was so much better. So gentle, so loving.
And just like that my love tank is full again.
Footage Friday: 9 Month Milestones
Our bub turning 9 months feels like a milestone in itself. He’s been out in the world for the same amount of time he was in my belly.
Two more little white teeth poked through pink gums this month. But not without some tantrums and sleepless nights.
Jesse’s First Easter
Most Easter long weekends you will find us camping, usually with family out at Stanthorpe on the Granite Belt. But this Easter weekend, Jesse’s first Easter we stayed close to home and enjoyed 4 days of fun, family and relaxation.
On Good Friday we ventured to the Sails Festival at Suttons Beach. Us and pretty much everyone else from the Moreton Bay region! Finding a car park took about 3 times as long as it took to drive there but we finally found one. We enjoyed a few hours by the seaside browsing the markets, eating delicious food and chilling out with my folks.
Saturday morning was a pretty typical one for us, weight training followed by domestic duties. But in the afternoon Kaine and I headed out for some lunch and a wander around the shops. Just the two of us while Jesse had some Aunty Lia time (he slept for the first two hours much to her dismay).
On Easter Sunday, as I watched my Facebook feed fill with the great lengths parents went to for Easter egg hunts, we headed off bright and early to Lake Somerset. We aren’t big on the whole chocolate thing at Easter time. But I see as Jesse gets older we will have to lift our game – some parents were going all out with bunny footprints through the house and the whole deal!
Our day on the lake was great. Jesse had his first boat ride (apparently V8 engines are soothing and he went straight to sleep) and my first time driving a jet ski (do you drive a jet ski?). It rained a little and was overcast most of the day but we didn’t care. We had a great time.
We closed out the weekend with a day at home. We filmed Jesse’s 9 month milestone video and enjoyed a family stroll to the park in the afternoon.
Long weekends are divine aren’t they.
not so secret life of us 