Category: Being a Mum

Photo Friday: Food, Glorious Food

Renee Barton1 Comment

This week we decided to start Jesse on solids….well, if you can call purée a solid.

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Five months may be a little early if you ask the ‘experts’ but he has been giving us all the signs that he was ready for more than a liquid diet.

So we started off with something basic. Some organic pumpkin and swede boiled and blitzed with a little breast milk for added goodness.

And well, we think he liked it.

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We love these photographs captured on our new camera (Olympus EM10 Mark II).

And for good measure, here is a little video too.

Milk Drunk Love Stories: Our Breastfeeding Journey So Far

Renee BartonLeave a comment

I was recently asked by our photographer Renee Trubai to contribute to her Nourish: Milk Drunk Love Stories project.

Renee’s vision for the project is to develop a community of parents supporting and cheering each other on by sharing their experiences on nourishing their children in whatever form that may be.

I was delighted to be asked to be involved and spent several days thinking back over our experiences with learning to feed our baby. I was reminded of just how tough those early days and weeks are. What seems so instinctive on the surface is actually a really complex and confusing issue. It is great that we have so much information and so many options available but this also adds to the complexity.

When I sat down to write our story I was taken back to a time not so long ago when I felt like I was never going to get off the couch. All those hours spent feeding our baby, helping him to grow and flourish. The days just disappeared in the repetitive cycle of feeding and pumping all the while trying to learn to read our baby’s cues and understand what he needed. Nights were even harder when we had to do it all again but this time alone, in the dark while the rest of the world slept. Learning to feed our babies often comes with a lot of frustration and tears but also a lot of beautiful moments too.

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If there is one thing I’ve learned during these past five months of being a parent it is that no matter what path we or nature might chose for nourishing our babies we should execute it proudly and without shame. A happy and healthy baby (and a happy Mama!) is far more important than how that nourishment is delivered.

Our story will be shared soon. In the meantime, head over to Milk Drunk Love Stories and check out the beautiful stories from other parents and maybe even share your own. It is an incredibly supportive and uplifting community. We are very proud and honoured to be a part of it.

Footage Friday: 4 Month Milestones

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

Whoops. This post is a day late.

Last weekend, we finally got around to shooting the 4 month milestones video for Jesse. A little late (considering he is nearly 5 months old now), but it is done.

We talk about many things that have happened since his 3 month video, including his second round of vaccinations, his growth and his weight gain, our highlights and an update on his feet.

I HATE BABY CAR SEATS

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

So I figured out three things yesterday…

  1. I hate baby car seats!
  2. I hate installing baby car seats!
  3. I hate when I can’t finish installing a baby car seat!

Yes… These three things really ended my day yesterday in a wave of frustration and anger.

Our little Jesse was starting to outgrow his baby capsule. He has always been quite a long baby despite being a lightweight, and lately, his little legs and feet have been sticking out the end of the capsule to the point where he was able to kick the back of the seat.

Right we thought, time to upgrade the seat to something a little bigger and better.

So we packed the car, bundled up the little one and headed out for the morning to look at baby seats! We even thought that this might be a good opportunity to take the camera along and film another vlog.

Well, we did end up buying a new car seat, and a good one at that! We packed it in the boot eager to get home to install this seat that looks like the worlds comfiest chair! I mean, if they made full size versions of this thing, I’d be first in line for one!

We unpacked it, got it ready for installation and then BAM!!! It was like the capsule all over again. What is it with installing baby seats in cars that something has to inevitably go wrong!

In the end, it turned out that the tether wasn’t long enough to reach to the floor in the boot of our Outlander. “Well this is stupid!” I thought. “Why don’t they make these tethers long enough to fit all vehicles?”

We had to abandon the install in search of an extension belt for the tether. Something that, given the time it was, we wouldn’t be able to get until tomorrow.

Luckily, while I stayed at home with Jesse for the morning, Renee was able to find a tether extender, and in the end, we were able to finish the installation successfully albeit a little later than expected.

It really feels like the people in the baby stuff business are just sitting back and laughing at all of us… scheming about how they can best screw with our heads and tempers next!

I’m just glad this new seat is supposed to last Jesse until he is 4 years old. I’ll be buggered if I’m going to install another new one any time soon!!!

The Technology Takeover: how do we fight back?

Renee Barton1 Comment

It started off slow.

Checking Facebook when we had a few minutes to spare. Posting a snap on Instagram to share a special memory with friends. Catching up on the news or checking the weather.

But somehow, without us even noticing, our devices are taking over. Taking over family dinners and coffee dates, playtime with our kids and talk time with our partners.

It’s not that technology is the enemy. I’m currently writing this post on my new iPhone 6 Plus (it’s so big!) and have an iPad set up in the back seat for my 4 month old to (sometimes) keep him from screaming blue murder on car trips.

But I’m constantly aware of finding a balance. Between being present in the moment and capturing it to share on Facebook. Between watching a cute dog video on YouTube and going outside and throwing a stick with our dog. Between reading parenting articles about how to be a better parent and actually being one.

We have had many discussions in our household about just that. About how important it is to us to spend quality time together looking at each other and not a screen. About how ridiculous it is that 4 year olds have their own iPads and that we don’t want to use a screen as a babysitter for our children.

I must preface this with a disclaimer for all those parents out there for whom technology is a godsend. A way to communicate with a child on the spectrum or educate a child with learning disabilities. I’m more so talking about how we could walk into any restaurant in the country and see people looking at their phones instead of each other. 

I distinctly recall talking about these things when I was pregnant. One of the things I said was I didn’t want to be breastfeeding and on my phone the whole time. What I failed to realise at the time was that breastfeeding takes up like 14 hours a day in those early weeks. And when staring at your newborn and taking in their every tiny feature only takes up about 7 of them there is still a whole lot of time to kill. The mighty smartphone is a godsend to a new mum. It reminds her that there is a world outside the 4 walls of her house and helps her connect with it even just a little.

I know we’re not the only household dealing with this dilemma. Wives are battling phones for the attention of their husbands. Parents are battling with their kids for a family meal without phones on the table. And babies are smiling and giggling at us while we laugh at a funny video on Facebook.

  
This powerful image published by the Huffington Post is captioned with “the more you connect, the less you connect.” If we are being honest I think we have probably all been guilty of neglecting a loved one because we are too busy with a smart phone in our face. 

So, how do you deal with the technology takeover in your family? A screen free hour each night? No phones at the dinner table? Chores for the WiFi password?

How can we benefit from all the great things about technology without just amusing ourselves to death? How can we ensure we enjoy some downtime thumbing through our Facebook and Instagram feeds without neglecting our loved ones?

How do we strike that perfect balance between living in the moment, and living in the digital world of Facebook updates and YouTube videos?

Because at the moment, it feels like technology is slowly starting to win the battle for our attention and that is something that I think… rather, that is something that I know, we need to change!

The Mum Version Of Me

Renee BartonLeave a comment

They say becoming a parent changes you. And it does.

I mean I’m still me, just the mum version of me. There’s the obvious stuff like the dirty nappies, permanent vomit on the shoulder and baby paraphernalia taking over the lounge room.

But I wasn’t ready for how every sad news story now affects me at my deepest level. Every house fire, every car accident. I can’t help but think what if that was my child, my baby.

A missing little boy makes me hug mine a little tighter. A sick child makes me pray for mine a little harder. Three little babies being left behind at a hospital because their mum can’t afford them or cope with the realities of triplets brings tears to my eyes.

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When you’re a parent, the need to protect your cub is sometimes overwhelming. You know there will be skinned knees and broken arms and broken hearts in the future but you can’t help but want to protect them from all the bad things.

A little rash, a scratch on the face from a tiny sharp fingernail or a sniffly nose is enough to bring on a bout of guilt and a tug at the heart strings.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a crazy mum who worries about everything and I don’t want to be the mum that wraps her kid in cotton wool. Kids will be kids and often learn through a little bump to the head or a tumble over clumsy feet, but I absolutely have a new found respect for any parent who has had to experience a sick child or worse.

If this is you, my hat goes off to you and my daily prayers now include you.

365 Project: 100+ Days In

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

So I know I’ve touched on this before… but wow… we are now up to day 116 of our 365 Project! How insane is that!!!

I cannot believe that we have made it this far…

A photo every day.

A post every day.

All showing off what our lives are like as a first time mum and dad.

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The 365 Project has been many things… challenging… tough… fun… exciting… hard… easy…

Having to come up with a photo and post EVERY DAY has been challenging at times… but we knew that we were not going to be in for an easy ride with this project.

All that said though, we are having an absolute blast doing it.

Looking back on all the photos I’ve taken, all I can think about is the end game. The end result. That book that we will end up with that shows what our lives were like in that first year with our little Jesse.

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How amazing is that going to be to share with friends and family! How amazing will that be to share with other first time mums and dads out there to show them hey, you aren’t the only ones who have felt like this or gone through that. You aren’t alone. We’ve all been there. And we will all be better off for it!

But the best thing of all, how amazing is it going to be to share this book with Jesse when he is older! How amazing is it going to be for Jesse to be able to read all about his first year of life through our eyes as first time parents.

All the ups and downs… the trials and tribulations… the struggles and the victories… How much our lives changed but also how we wouldn’t have had it any other way…

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While I don’t want to wish the year away, I cannot wait to see this book in all its glory at the end of this project!

The 365 Project continues…

Things I Would Tell Pregnant Me

Renee BartonLeave a comment

I am currently selling a few unwanted baby things online. Today a lady contacted me about one of the items and asked to come over.

I opened the door to a beautiful girl in full pregnancy bloom – one month to go with her first baby.

I was immediately taken back to a few months ago when I was in that same situation. Belly round and mind full with excited anticipation.

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It got me thinking about all the things I would tell myself if I could go back or what advice I might give to an expectant mum.

  1. Get all the sleep you can. Don’t feel at all guilty for those morning sleep ins or sneaky afternoon naps. Just enjoy it and get as much as you can. You may think you’re ready for sleep deprivation but it really is a bitch!
  2. Relish in every moment of pregnancy. Even though you are excited to meet your little creation, you will never be pregnant for the first time again. Though you may have more pregnancies you will also have at least one other child to care for so will not necessarily have the luxury to just plop on the couch, pull up your shirt and enjoy watching your bub kick and dance inside your tummy.
  3. They make it look easy in the classes but breastfeeding is actually pretty hard. But if you can persist you’ll be glad you did. Oh and there is this thing called cluster feeding…don’t worry, it won’t last forever.
  4. Though all they do is sleep and eat, having a newborn is really hard work. Feeding every two hours is exhausting! And yes they sleep a lot but between eating yourself, having a shower, having a bit of down time and maybe even catching up on a bit of sleep yourself, the days just disappear.
  5. You’ll doubt yourself about everything but try to trust your instincts. Don’t get hung up on whether you are doing the ‘right thing’. If your baby cries, scoop him up in your arms and soothe him. If he will only sleep while in the safety and comfort of your arms, let him. It won’t last forever and there may just come a time where you will long for those newborn snuggles.
  6. Bottles, dummies and disposable nappies are not the enemies they are made out to be. What is important is that your baby is happy and healthy.
  7. You don’t have to be super mum or have it all together straight away. And you won’t so just go with it. You don’t have to get your pre-baby body back immediately and your social calendar won’t be exactly like it used to, as least not at first.
  8. There will be times when you are more tired than you thought possible and all you want to do is cry. It’s ok. Cry. But ask for help when you need it. You won’t do yourself or your baby any favours by pushing yourself past your limits.

These are just a few things I would tell myself if I could go back to those last few weeks in my pregnancy. But mostly I would just simply say…

You’ve got this.

Babies and Capsules and Car Trips….Oh My!

Renee Barton2 Comments

The day we brought Jesse home from hospital was a magical day.

After spending those first few days cooped up within hospital walls trying to figure everything out it was an incredible feeling to finally be leaving with our beautiful bundle. The sun was shining and we were both grinning from ear to ear. And our gorgeous, tiny baby boy was snug in his carrier in the back seat of the car and didn’t make a sound the whole way home.

Over those first few weeks when we managed to venture out of the house we were so proud of ourselves, it all seemed so easy with a newborn.

But something is different. Something has changed.

I now feel dread every time I even think about having to put the boy in his car seat and drive somewhere.

Nothing raises the blood pressure quicker or the stress levels faster than being in a car with a screaming, petrified 3 month old.

Oh yes, those days of a tiny, sleeping newborn in the back seat are over and now it is like we have an entirely different child.

And I have tried everything. Talking to him in soft, soothing tones, playing relaxation music, playing classical music for babies (which by the way sounds god-awful and only adds to the stress), playing motivational audios, singing to him, giving him toys – nothing has worked!

Our car trips as a family have resulted in one of us sitting in the back with him, dummy and bottle at the ready. Which seems to work well. He even drifts off to sleep a lot of the time. But when it is just me… a 15 minute car trip is suddenly my worst nightmare.

I thought babies love going in the car. It puts them to sleep right? Wrong! Well not ours anyway. I guess I should consider myself lucky in that I don’t need to drive my kid around the block at 3am because its the only way to get him to sleep.

As frustrating as it is I really can’t blame the poor little guy. He’s scared. It is dark back there, he is strapped down at an awkward angle and though he can hear mummy he can’t see her.

When I swoop in to rescue him he has worked himself up into a hot sweat and the look of sheer terror on his face breaks my heart. I undo the seatbelt as quickly as I can and hold him close whispering reassuring words into his little ears.

I can only imagine how scared he feels back there but boy, I really hope this phase ends… soon!

One remedy I have heard of is printing out a giant photo of mum’s face and sticking it up where baby can see it.

So if you happen to walk past a car in the car park and see a woman’s big smiling face taped to back seat, it’s me. A desperate mother willing to try anything to stop her baby screaming his lungs out in the car.

If you have any other ideas or if you too have a baby crying uncontrollably in your back seat, let me know I’m not alone. Please.

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Don’t let the smile fool you.