Category: Feelings

When the season changes…

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

A simple change of season brings with it so many things… like cool nights spent in front of the television under a blanket. Lazy mornings spent dozing under the warmth of the doona. Flannelette pyjamas. Onesies. Slow cooked meals and warm soups. Runny noses and blocked sinuses.

With a simple change of season, Winter is here.


It has brought with it, into our household at least, the kind of runny noses, blocked sinuses and chesty coughs that young children just seem to attract. It has also brought with it, restless nights.

Over the past few nights, our modest queen size bed has been full. Full with two tired parents, a sniffily, snoring toddler with a blocked nose, and a restless baby that just wants to be continuously attached to Renee’s boob. Our bed is full of warm bodies fighting for space in a forever shrinking bed that seems to be getting smaller by the minute. But it’s not just full of these sleeping, sometimes restless bodies… It is also full of love…

It is full of the love of a mother cradling her newborn in the crook of her arm as she yet again exposes her breast to the cool air of the night to once again feed, soothe and settle his tiny whimpers and cries.

It is full of the love of a newborn when he feels the warmth and closeness of his mother, as he begins to take in the sweet milk that he has been longing for.

It is full of the love of a father as he breathes in the blissful scent of his toddler’s hair when he rolls over and cuddles in for warmth, placing his tiny hand on my cheek.

It is full of the love of a toddler who feels safe wrapped in the arms of his father, as he breathes and snores softly into the night.

A simple change of season brings with it so many things. But of all the things that a change of season to those cooler months of Winter brings, it’s the overflowing feeling of love we feel as our family finally falls soundly asleep, breathing almost in harmony, cuddled up and sharing with each other our warmth, that we treasure most.

A simple change of season brings with it so many things…

And love is the greatest of them all.

Sex After Childbirth

Renee BartonLeave a comment

So fellas, you thought negotiating sex during pregnancy was difficult? For nine months you and your partner battled your way through despite the nausea, tiredness, raging hormones and growing belly. Not to mention for many guys, the fear of stabbing your unborn child or somehow risking the pregnancy (which by the way, you can’t).

Well now the baby is out and you are keen to reignite the passion in the bedroom. But let me just say, you now have a whole host of other things to deal with, and you may need to be a little understanding if your lady isn’t as eager to ‘get back on the saddle’ so to speak.


So there’s the obvious… A baby has recently emerged from her body, quite possibly from the same area you wish to become reacquainted with, so she may need some time to heal and feel like herself again. Particularly if the birth was traumatic for her.

She may also be still getting used to the way her body looks in the mirror now. We know you think we’re sexy no matter what and we love that. It might just take a bit longer for us to agree with you.

Secondly, the boobs that you are dying to squeeze because, well let’s face it, they’re huge! Yup, those boobs are probably sore and sensitive. So go easy! I know, she’s constantly teasing you by having them out, right there, in front of you, all the damn time, but be warned, this is to feed your newborn child only – DO NOT TOUCH!

And perhaps the biggest mood killer, she’s really damned tired. Not just the ‘had a big day at work’ kind of tired. But the sheer exhaustion that comes from night after night after night of broken sleep and the endless demand of being at someone’s beck and call 24/7. The kind of tired where if you dare roll toward her suggestively as she finally crawls into bed and is already thinking about when she’ll have to get up for the next feed, you may not live to make any more babies.

So as much as you want to reconnect with your lady, she probably wants to reconnect with herself first. She’s probably craving for just 30 minutes of alone time. To not be touched, not have a hungry baby in her arms or a toddler watching her pee. To take her time in the shower instead of rushing because the baby is crying. Time to get her brows waxed or shave her legs.

It’s these small things that help us to get our sexy back! Just sayin’!

And the more you guys get it, the more you’ll get it. Get it… *wink wink*.

There is nothing more irresistible to a new mum than her man taking the kids for a bit and insisting she have some quality ‘me’ time. Oh and make her a coffee or pour a glass of wine for her every now and again. And then make sure she has her hands free to actually enjoy it.

Sex after childbirth may seem ever elusive and probably a little scary, but these little things can go a long way to making sure you both get what you need.

Thoughts of a Dad going back to work.

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

It’s been six weeks since I last went to work.

It’s been six weeks since I got up at 5am… put on work clothes… caught public transport… walked through Brisbane City…

But today, for the first time in six weeks, I got up at 5am, put on my work clothes, caught public transport, walked through Brisbane City and went to work. Because today, is my first day back from my planned parental leave.

For the past six weeks, I’ve had the absolute pleasure of being home with Renee to help welcome our second child, Jasper James into the world. And wow… what an amazing six weeks it’s been!

Our family grew by one (us boys now officially rule the house!!!). We had numerous visitors come through our doors to give us adult interaction but to also meet and adore our newest addition. I managed to complete a number of home projects we kept putting off because we either had no time, no money, or a combination of the two. I bonded with Jesse on a whole new level after spending almost every waking hour keeping him entertained so that Renee could tend to Jasper.

We laughed. We cried. We slept on the couch at midday because we got little sleep the night before.

We had tantrums. We had night terrors. We had snotty noses. We had vomit down out arms and nappies full of diarrhoea.

But it was literally the best six weeks at home we have spent together in a very long time.


But today, it all changed. Because today, was my first day back at work. Today, was the first day Renee was at home with both boys by herself. Today, was the day that I had to leave Renee, Jesse and Jasper at home, after spending 6 weeks with them, because I had to go back to work. Today, was one of the hardest days I’ve had to face in a long time.

I always knew it was going to be difficult leaving my family behind as I went back off to work after spending so much time together. But come yesterday evening, I felt physically sick at the thought of going back to work! Not because I hate my job, far from it! But because all I wanted to do, was to be with my family.

However, if there is one thing I do know, it’s that work is exactly where I need to be. I need to provide for my family so that there is petrol in the tank, food on the table, and nappies on the kids. I need to support my family so that Renee is able to continue to stay at home with our children and chase her passion as a Kanga Trainer.

And it’s for those reasons, as I sit here at work on my lunch break, that I know I am where I need to be, and I am okay with that.

For those of you out there who are in similar positions, remember… you may be leaving your partner and kids of a day, but don’t feel guilty about that. You are where you need to be, and in the future, they will thank you for that!

The real side of parenting…

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

People are often criticised for only sharing the happy parts of life on social media.

Whether it’s happy go lucky posts on Facebook, or an Instagram feed that is carefully curated to make the rest of us jealous of a seemingly perfect life, there is a constant wave of people shouting for everyone to be more real!

Well, for us, it doesn’t get much realer than this!

Me… sitting in the hallway at 11pm, eyes closed with a bottle in my hand while Jesse kicks and screams his way through yet another night terror behind the wall just to my right. Sitting in that exact spot because if I move even an inch closer or further away from him, the screaming only gets louder!

Sitting there… a combination of tired, defeated, angry, sad, worried and helpless as Jesse fights his way through his terror.

Sitting there, knowing there is nothing I can do but wait, and pray that he comes over, takes his bottle and climbs back into bed.

Sitting there, feeling like a failure…


We certainly haven’t been shy when it comes to writing about our negative experiences as we stumble our way through parenthood… But I also know that I am also guilty of trying to keep things as positive as I can. And one look of my Instagram feed will confirm that.

So when Renee shot off a quick photo to capture this moment… this “real” moment… no fancy clothes, no fancy lighting, no fancy editing… as I sat there trying not to feel defeated as a parent, I knew I had to share it!

This, is what is real for us! Not every night. Not always this bad. But it’s our reality and it’s one that we’ve had to learn to embrace.

However, while we are certainly happy to share this reality with you, I don’t necessarily think those who like to keep positive Facebook pages or colourful and happy Instagram feeds aren’t being real!

You don’t have to be controversial, swear, belittle your kids and/or partner or share inappropriate photos to be real!

You just have to be you…

And when you too are up late at night, trying to calm or soothe your crying child, just remember, that you are not alone! You aren’t a failure! And you will get through this!

And at the end of the day, when they wake up the next morning, happy and playful, you will know that you’ve done your job!

Four Weeks as a Family of Four

Renee Barton1 Comment

I can’t believe how quickly these past four weeks have gone. A whole month has passed since we welcomed our second son Jasper James into the world.

One minute I was 40 weeks pregnant praying my baby would come soon, the next we’re rushing to hospital and almost giving birth in the hallway while the birth suite was being cleaned. To now, holding a one month old beautiful boy.


And a big boy at that! At nearly 4kg born he is now 5kg and pushing into 000 clothes. His brother was still in 00000 at 4 weeks old. Not only are they different in size, but in looks and temperament too. It’s so fascinating.

So for a whole month we have been parents to two under two (Jesse’s second birthday is in two weeks time). We feel so incredibly blessed by our two boys but shit, this gig is gonna be tough!
Already I’ve been wracked with guilt. Am I giving each of them the attention they need? And already I’ve cracked a few times under the pressure of sleepless nights.

For the first week I think I was still running on adrenaline and new mama hormones. But a month on there have already been a few rough nights between the toddler having night terrors and the baby being awake for hours at a time because he has a blocked nose.

The real test is coming next week though, when Kaine returns to work. What will I do without someone to take the early shift so I can get another hour sleep? Without someone to answer Jesse’s request to play when I’m feeding Jasper? And without someone to share the nappy changing progression line with?

As challenging as it is, it is also pretty great. The boys already have a beautiful relationship forming. 


So, welcome to our family Mr Jasper and happy one month birthday.

Photo Friday: Our two babies…

Renee BartonLeave a comment

Every day we are astounded at how different our boys are. We are constantly reminiscing back to when Jesse was a baby and how different Jasper is to his older brother.

Apart from their completely different colouring and features, they are also very different in size. At just 3 weeks Jasper has already come back to and surpassed is birth weight, weighing in at a monster 4.7kg. Compared to Jesse who didn’t weigh that much until he was 3 months old!

Jasper is already wearing clothes of his brothers that Jesse was wearing much later. So we decided to have a bit of fun with this.

On the left is Jesse at 9 weeks old and on the right, Jasper in the same suit at 2.5 weeks old.

No doubt we will notice many differences as they grow up but there is no denying they are already very much in love with each other.

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Let’s talk about night terrors…

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

Let’s talk about Night Terrors!

This little guy looks pretty content this morning… happily guzzling his bottle as he watches some early morning ABC Kids. In fact, he has been his happy normal self this morning.I wish we could say the same about our little Jesse during the night.


Unfortunately, it would appear that throughout the past two nights, Jesse had been suffering from night terrors! And it is absolutely horrible!!!

On a couple of occasions through both nights, Jesse has ‘woken up’ and started screaming, and kicking and thrashing about in a trance-like state that we just couldn’t seem to snap him out of. And the reason I put ‘woken up’ like that, is because according to the literature we’ve read, he actually isn’t awake.

Night terrors are most easily explained as being caught in between wakefulness and sleep. Essentially, the brain disconnects from the body when we sleep, but when someone is having a night terror, it essentially means that there is an incomplete disconnect. This is why Jesse looks awake and his eyes are wide open, but really, they are mostly asleep and completely oblivious to their surroundings.

And unfortunately for parents of kids who suffer from night terrors, there isn’t a hell of a lot we can do!

The best course of action is to let them ride it out themselves. Night terrors can last anywhere between 5 – 20 minutes. Which does mean if your child is showing symptoms for as long as 20 minutes, it can be quite upsetting for the parents. But, unfortunately for parents, trying to sooth your child, or touch them, or wake them, or talk to them can often make the terrors worse.

While we didn’t realise Jesse was suffering from night terrors two nights ago, after some research and taking to a doctor, we were better prepared last night in case we had a repeat. But, despite being prepared for another episode (which did eventually come at about 11pm), we still felt helpless and upset that Jesse was thrashing around and on the verge of hyperventilating, yet we couldn’t do anything to help.

I guess the best thing (if there is any upside to night terrors) is that children who get them don’t remember what has happened the next day. Which is why Jesse has woken up in his happy, chipper self.

I sometimes wish that we parents had the ability to not remember what happened either.

We officially think night terrors SUCK!!! And with some of the literature we’ve read saying most kids outgrow night terrors by the age of 12, we can only hope that Jesse doesn’t have them for that long.

If you would like some more information on night terrors, we found this article very helpful: Month 21 Worry: Why does my toddler wake up screaming?

Welcome to the Family

Renee BartonLeave a comment

Due Date Delivery

My due date started like most days did in my last couple of weeks of pregnancy. Fairly steady contractions throughout the wee hours of the morning as I lay in bed wondering if today was the day. However unlike most days, they didn’t stop. Even once I was out of bed and going about my morning the contractions continued. Mild, but enough to know they weren’t braxton hicks and steadily increasing in intensity.

I knew the odds of babies coming on their due date was slim, but I could only hope. It was my last 24 hours to have the baby with my sister still in the country.

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Well, he must have heard my prayers because just hours later, I was holding my baby boy. Once he decided it was time there was no stopping him. My contractions were getting stronger so at about 10.45am I started timing them. At 12.15pm we headed to the hospital and at 1.32pm Jasper James entered the world.

Our First Night

I was in a state of disbelief. From feeling like I was going to be pregnant forever to giving birth all within a few hours, I was definitely shell-shocked. Blissfully happy though.

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That afternoon, Jasper met his big brother and we had some family and friends visit. And when it was time for sleep, Jasper did just that. But I was still riding the wave of adrenaline. Between that, the hospital noise and the noisiest sleeping baby in the world, mama didn’t get much sleep that night.

By lunch time the following day we were bundled up in the car and headed home. Did they really just let us lose with a baby…again??

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One week on

When there is a newborn in the house the hours and days just seem to disappear. We have spent the week hauled up at home in a beautiful little love bubble. The days lost in a blur of feeding, changing, baby gazing, visitors and of course continuing to ‘maintain’ a toddler.

Jesse has adapted exceptionally well so far. He is very gentle with his baby brother and loves to give him kisses and touch his ears. We know it’s a big adjustment for him so we are mindful to be patient and carve out special time that is all about him.

Jasper is sleeping and feeding like a champ. In fact I couldn’t believe how quickly he took to breastfeeding and how good he was at it from birth. With over a kilo on his brothers birth weight, I suppose that is a benefit of a bigger baby.

Mum and Dad are both doing well and settling into our new way of life. One week post partum and I’m feeling better each day. My labour experience was another beautiful one, albeit faster and more intense. A bit of gas and my support team got me through and there were no complications or issues (polite way of saying everything remained intact!). They weren’t wrong though when they said after-birth pains are worse with subsequent births. Ouch!!

Almost immediately after birth, the banter of a third child started and is now an ongoing joke in our household. Time will tell who wins that one…

For now we are absolutely smitten with our two gorgeous boys are feel incredibly blessed.

Photo Friday: First days at home…

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

Wow, what a whirlwind the past week as been.

And now, we have a brand new human at home that we are fully responsible for (why did the hospital let us go home?!).

The first days at home have been surreal, but also amazing, as Jasper, Jesse, Renee and I all bond and bind as a foursome instead of a threesome.

Also, I think we have the cutest baby on earth at home with us (slightly biaised opinion of course).



Hello, due date…

Renee BartonLeave a comment

I know your expected due date is not the be all and end all. It’s just a guide. And in fact only a very small percentage of babies are born on their due date.

That is why I’m so surprised to still be pregnant. 40 weeks pregnant today.

I was so sure I would have a baby in my arms by now. Partly because my first baby was born in my 38th week of pregnancy and partly because by my “period maths” my due date was actually 10 days ago.

But alas, I have no baby to hold yet. Just a huge belly, the unmistakable saunter of a heavily pregnant woman and a very sore vagina!


Going overdue doesn’t bother me per say, I have no doubt that baby will come when it’s good and ready. Despite joking that I might just be pregnant forever! But what’s starting to wear me down is the pre labour I’ve been experiencing for two weeks now. 

Yup, I’ve been having contractions on and off for two weeks. More often than not in the wee hours of the morning so losing more and more sleep with each night. As if trying to sleep at full term wasn’t uncomfortable enough!

But the growing anticipation will surely only make that first meeting even more sweet. And maybe make the labour easier to bear as I will just be so bloody glad when it actually starts for real.

In the back of my mind though is the persistent thought that today is the last chance to have this baby before my sister leaves for her amazing overseas holiday for 5 weeks. She was present at my first birth and has such an incredible relationship with Jesse. I will be terribly sad if she not only misses out on those first newborn weeks but misses meeting baby before she leaves. No doubt she will make up for it on her return. 

Ultimately though, it is out of my hands and I know that things will unfold with divine and perfect timing.

Whenever you are ready my darling…