Category: Feelings

Photo Friday: 30 week photo shoot

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

Last weekend, we had the distinct pleasure of again meeting up with the very talented Renee Trubai for a 30 week pregnancy and family photo session.

It was one of the hottest days of the current heat wave we are experiencing, and we travelled all the way to the other side of town, but it was well worth it.

We feel extremely lucky to know Renee. She is a wonderful photographer specialising in lifestyle, family and maternity shoots. And after working with her on a number of occasions already, there is simply no one else we would trust taking our photographs.

And despite it being such a hot and humid day, and the fact that Jesse didn’t really want to stay still enough to take any substantial number of photos, it still turned out to be a great day… and we still ended up with some amazing photos!!!

Thanks again Renee… you truly are an amazing photographer!

What I’ve learnt from Peppa Pig

Kaine Barton1 Comment

Let’s talk about Peppa Pig…

Yes. That’s right, this whole post is dedicated to the one and only… Peppa Pig. That infuriatingly frustrating children’s program that you just can’t seem to get away from once you have kids!

Well it would seem that, as we may have mentioned before, Jesse is a big fan of good old Peppa and George Pig. So much so that sometimes, it’s the only thing that will settle him down when he’s in a bad state with teething pain or if he’s sick or if he’s cranky. Now before the ‘Parenting Police’ come marching out of the woodwork and start chastising us for allowing our toddler to have screen time… I would like to say that we are aware of the negative impacts screen time can have on children under two, we do feel bad that he has screen time, we do however monitor his screen time, and that at the end of the day screen time is just part of modern day parenting.

peppa-pig

That all said, he loves Peppa Pig… Sassy attitude and all. And with the amount of Peppa Pig we have consumed as a result of being parents, there are a few things that I have learnt along the way. Now, don’t take this as a be all and end all list… these are just a few of the observations I’ve made and/or things I’ve learnt along the way…

  1. When you are a part of a group of people, whether it be large or small, when you start to laugh at something, everyone MUST fall onto their backs or else you’re not laughing properly! It’s true… In fact, according to Peppa Pig, it is physically impossible not to fall on your back when you start laughing with your friends or family!
  2. A yoyo is the best toy in the whole world and is something to get extremely excited about. Forget big expensive toys and video games fellow parents, just buy your kids a yoyo. Because if Peppa is to be judged, based off of her excitement level at receiving a yoyo for Christmas, there is simply nothing else in the world that can top it!
  3. Every damn time you see, hear or say dinosaur, you have to say it exactly the same as George Pig, complete with the “GRRRR” at the end!
  4. Peppa Pig is the sassiest pig I’ve ever seen and has no issues ordering around anyone and everyone. That said, Suzy Sheep also has a fair bit of sass. And when those two get together, oh boy, it’s like a sass fest!!!
  5. That spiders are friends and are nothing to be afraid of. Obviously, Peppa Pig and family haven’t been to Australia and encountered the big, deadly f*** off spiders that we have on offer. Even Hunstmans are terrifying!
  6. That everyone must have alliterated names! Suzy Sheep. Emily Elephant. Peppa Pig. Candy Cat. That is, unless your name is George. Just don’t worry about it if your name is George… it’s all good in the hood!
  7. That despite veterinarians best advice, it’s okay for any animal, including Danny Dog, to eat chocolate cake!
  8. Rabbits are job hogs and have probably caused unemployment rates to rise by 80%! Why doesn’t Miss Rabbit just give up a few of her jobs? Why does she work so many jobs? Does she have a drug habit she’s trying to support? Is she secretly an alcoholic because of the long hours she works? What happens when she has customers at different jobs at the same time?
  9. That I’ve probably seen every episode at least twice and that I could probably win a Peppa Pig trivia night.
  10. And that regardless of who or what you are, everybody enjoys jumping up and down in muddy puddles!

So, my fellow parents… what about you? What children’s shows are your kids addicted to? What shows have you seen so many times that the images have been permanently burned onto your retina?

What shows do you absolutely 100% despise, but will find yourself sitting there and watching with your kids and secretly enjoying it.

And with that, I will say goodbye… because I’m off to watch some more Peppa Pig!

This Time Around: A dads perspective

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

Back in October 2016, Renee wrote a post about her second pregnancy called ‘This Time Around‘. It was about how things were different between her first pregnancy, and this one.

I loved the post! But it got me thinking… how are things different this time around for me? What’s different? What’s not different?

Well, the big difference to kick things off this time around, was that Renee completely surprised me with the news that we are expecting again. Great surprise! Loved finding out the way that I did. But now that the initial surprise has come and gone, we really have just gone back to business as usual why we wait for the due date to roll around.

And with that, I don’t mean to downplay this pregnancy, I just mean that this time around, we both seem to be taking a more relaxed attitude toward the whole thing.

With the first pregnancy, like I’m sure it is for most newly pregnant couples, it was new water we were wading out into. There was an excitement and uncertainty there that just flows through you for the duration of the pregnancy. It’s a new experience! And an experience like nothing you’ve ever had before!


So when it comes to your second pregnancy, there isn’t that air of uncertainty that follows you around. You’ve been through it all before. You kind of just know (to a certain extent) how things are going to play out don’t you?

So am I more relaxed this time around? Absolutely I am!

Am I not as excited this time around? Absolutely not!

While it would seem that I am, this time around, taking a more relaxed attitude, it absolutely, positively does not mean that I’m not as excited as I was the first time around.

I still get butterflies when I think about how quickly the due date is approaching. I still get excited when Renee and I talk about possible names for Baby Barton #2. I still love that feeling you get when you see your wife glowing in pregnancy and as her belly grows and grows. I still get excited when planning out and constructing the new nursery that will eventually sleep Baby Barton #2. I still get the warm and fuzzies when I’m out shopping and I stumble across the baby section with all the incredibly cute clothes you can buy. And what I am most excited about, is finding out whether Baby Barton #2 is going to be a boy or a girl!

I am just feeling all those feelings with a more relaxed attitude!

I also think, that because both Renee and I have taken a more relaxed approach this time around, that it has helped Renee tremendously to cope with this pregnancy. Not that it’s been a difficult pregnancy… Well, what I mean is that on all accounts that it’s been a pretty normal pregnancy… Ok, I’ll stop digging the hole. I’ll probably get in trouble for this later…

But at the end of the day… I think it has all helped!

It does get me thinking though, with the massive difference in our approach to this pregnancy compared to our first, what’s it going to be like if we do end up having a third child? Will we even bother doing anything special for that pregnancy? I mean, once you get to your third the novelty has well and truly worn off right? Both during the pregnancy and after it? You just don’t care as much right?

Oh yea, and a big hello to the third born in both our families, Jesamine and Lia…

Preparing for my second labour

Renee BartonLeave a comment

It is quite common for mum’s who have had a traumatic birth experience or one that didn’t go according to plan to be anxious about their subsequent labours.

I’m having the opposite dilemma. My first labour giving birth to Jesse was everything I could have hoped for and now I’m freaking out that the second time round won’t go as smoothly or live up to how I remember the first time. Ridiculous I know.

My first labour was relatively quick with about five and a half hours of active labour. I had very little intervention (my waters were broken at 4cm and I had to wear a heart rate monitor on my belly the whole time but that’s it). I managed to avoid any pain relief (I thought I was using the gas towards the end but turns out it was too late for that and the midwife only allowed oxygen to come through!). I was able to be mobile and use active labour positions like squatting and all fours throughout. And I didn’t tear! This was a huge fear of mine after 31 years of mum regaling me with the delightful tale of my birth.

The worst part (oh besides squeezing out a 2.7kg human from my vagina!) was the agonising back labour. That searing pain in my lower back with each contraction became almost unbearable. Here’s hoping I don’t get that again!

So now I’m preparing to labour for the second time and I’m praying I can do it all again as close to my birth plan as possible.

I’m drinking the raspberry leaf tea again, listening to my hypno-birthing meditations and affirmations and have just started prenatal yoga. Does any of it work? I don’t know.  But I did it last time so I’m doing it again!


I’m keeping as active as possible and viewing every activity as birth preparation. Simply walking is proving challenging at times but between Kangatraining, yoga and weight training I’m doing ok. This makes me sound like a bit of a fitness freak which I’m most definitely not. Because I’m also eating ALL THE FOOD!

So tell me your tips. How did you prepare for birth? Or did you find just winging it and trusting your body was the best option?

With roughly 10 weeks to go it is all getting very real. This threesome will soon be four.

Where have all my friends gone?

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

Let’s talk about friends for a minute.

Like most people would, I had a large group of friends when I was in school. We would sit in the covered area in front of the computer block every lunch. We would talk about video games, movies, computers… and other things that young teenage boys would talk about. We played ‘handball’ and ‘wallball’. Let’s just say that you would have probably called us the group of nerds. We were always hanging out at each other’s houses and we were always getting up to mischief.

But then, you graduate from High School and everything changes.

Again, like most people, you start to grow apart. Your lives start heading in different directions. It’s just what happens. People will always come in and out of your life. It’s a part of growing up. But what I have come to realise is… that it is a lot harder to make friends as an adult.

Making friends when you’re a kid is easy! You go up to someone, you both say hi, and boom… you’re best friends! But as an adult, it’s not quite that easy. And the older I get, the more that I realise that I have fewer and fewer people that I would consider to be close friends.

That large group of friends that I had in school… the guys that I thought would be my brothers forever… the guys I thought were my best friends… well, I very rarely see any of them these days. It’s not that I don’t like them… and I’m sure it’s not that they don’t like me (although I haven’t checked this fact… lol…). It’s simply that we all grew apart. Our lives went in different directions. We had different paths to follow.

I would say that on average, we (as a group) probably all catch up once every couple of years. And you know what, that’s just fine.

But when we were talking about school and school friends at work the other day, it quickly came to me attention about how very few close friends I have. Am I lonely? Is there a reason I don’t have many close friends? Why don’t I see my friends more often?

friends

In fact, for a long time there, my closest “friends” were probably my brother and his wife. We were always hanging out. We would see them every weekend whether it was for dinner… drinks… a movie… or even just to shoot the shit! But now, I don’t even see them very often.

I think the biggest problem that I (and maybe even society as a whole) has when it comes to making or keeping close friends, is that everyone is so damn busy all the time. My brother and his wife now have two kids. We are about to have our second child. Other friends that have come and gone have ended up with their own families and interests. And everyone has their own work that they need to do, whether that be in the form of a career or otherwise.

So am I lonely? No. While I don’t have many close friends, I’m certainly not lonely. Especially when I have such an amazing wife and the cutest little toddler to keep me entertained when I get home.

Is there a reason I don’t have many close friends? Sure. But there nothing sinister behind this. Like I said, people come and people go.

What next? Well, I think it’s now about keeping those relationships I have with the friends I do have alive. It’s about staying connected. It’s about working on the relationships I have. It’s about being there for those people every damn day regardless of how busy I get!

Regardless of the type of relationship it is, relationships take work. And I don’t want to be looking around when I’m 40 thinking, why don’t I have anyone?

Friends are important… Make sure you treat them that way!

Dad Bod: It’s time to go!

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

So guess what… the end of January is just around the corner! That’s right… January is almost over!

I mean, hang on, it still feels like only yesterday that we were up at Maleny celebrating NYE and chugging beers! Well, I was the one chugging the beers… Renee was giving me that look of pure evil that only a pregnant woman can give when she is the only one sitting in a room full of non-pregnant people all having fun! Love you darling!

So since we are almost through our first month of 2017, how are those NYE resolutions coming along? Have you achieved all you wanted to achieve for January as yet? Don’t worry, you still have time if you haven’t.

What about me you ask? Well, I didn’t really make any NYE resolutions. I tend to find they’re somewhat of a waste of time. Like most people, I never end up completing any of the NYE resolutions I’ve set myself in the past. I think it’s mostly because when we do make NYE resolutions, we aren’t held accountable by anyone. However, I am glad to say that despite not having any resolutions in place, I have still managed to start my year off on a positive note…

And so this leads into the title of this post. Saying goodbye to the Dad Bod!

I’m not going to beat around the bush… I have officially (by my own admittance) reached fat bastard status! I got to that point where I realised I had two options available moving forward regarding my diet and my weight. Either stop eating… or buy a whole new wardrobe full of clothes. And let’s face it, to stop eating is definitely the cheaper way to go!


I mean, it’s pretty bad. Like so bad that the t-shirts I own look like they’re about 2 sizes to small when I wear them. If I start to raise my arms it looks like I’m wearing a midriff! Plus none of my pants fit! We went to the Redcliffe Lagoon just before New Years and I couldn’t do them up. I have buttons popping open on shorts and I even had to use a hair tie on the top button of a pair of jeans because I couldn’t get it done up! Yes, a hack I learned from my pregnant wife. 

I seriously need an intervention!

I’ve embraced the Dad Bod for long enough. All the delicious food and the cold beers and the tasty burgers and the amazing chocolate and the delightful doughnuts and the… IT’S TIME TO STOP!!!

And this is where the positive start to my year begins. My PT is running a 6 week challenge to work off all that Christmas and NYE weight we’ve all put on. Count me in! I’ve got a ton of weight I need to lose!

Second week in and I think I’m doing pretty well. So far I’ve lost over one kilo of both weight and fat!

If I can just keep this going for the next 4 weeks, I’ll have rippling abs and biceps of steel just like Zac Efron!!! Well, maybe not, but at least I’ll be back to my normal weight!

Oh yea, and just in case you were wondering why we have so much junk food in the house… don’t forget that I am living with both a toddler, and a pregnant wife!

Dealing with the Realities of Aging

Renee BartonLeave a comment

Let’s talk about getting old for a minute. Or more specifically, caring for our loved ones as they get old.

But first I’ll preface this post by saying that, although we both write openly and honestly about our lives; mostly our parenting experiences, I do admit to censoring what I write about when it involves other family members. In this case though, I feel it’s an important topic to discuss and one that might resonate with others.

My family is relatively young compared to other people my age. My parents are under 50 (just) and one of my Nan’s was a Grandmother at 34! But these past few months we have been hit by the realisation that our loved ones are getting older and the impact that can have on the rest of the family.

One of those times was the passing of Kaine’s granddad a couple of months ago. And although he was 96 and my side of the family is much younger, my family are facing struggles in this arena too.

Recently one of my Grandmother’s was diagnosed with dementia. Due to circumstances within the family I have found myself becoming one of the ‘primary caregivers’ I suppose you could say. I entered the world of all things ‘old people’ and found myself knee-deep in social workers, senior living options, care providers, doctors and having absolutely no idea what I was doing.

I want to help, please don’t misunderstand. I want my Nan to be taken care of, be surrounded by family and enjoy quality of life as she still has a lot of life to live.

But as I sat in a meeting with her newly appointed case manager and we talked about care plans and medical services and what to do if Nan gets lost almost as if she wasn’t even in the room, my eyes filled and my throat closed.

This is too much. It’s too overwhelming. What if I make the wrong decision. What if she gets so sad and lonely and confused she’d rather not live in this world anymore.

I already feel so full with an energetic toddler and a growing belly that will soon become a newborn, sending me back into the haze of cluster feeding and unbelievable exhaustion. I don’t know if I can do it.

But here’s what I do know. My Nan deserves to feel loved, wanted and cared for at a time when she must be so afraid and lonely. I honestly don’t care who’s feelings might have been hurt in the past by different circumstances within the family or who was at fault. She is a mother, a Grandmother, and has survived the passing of two husbands that she loved dearly. She’s a person.

Yes it’s scary and overwhelming. It might even feel like an obligation at times, a hassle. But I know in my heart that doing all I can to help is the only option. I can’t promise that I’ll always make the right choices or that I will be able to be available all the time. But I’ll do what I can.

I love you Nan.

xx

Diaries of a Dad: Can I do this?

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

Being a parent is tough. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Don’t get me wrong. There are plenty of good times. There are plenty of great times. But on the flip side to that, there are also plenty of rough times.

Times that every now and again make me question myself… Can I actually do this? Can I actually be a dad? Am I really cut out for this?

You know those times… when you’re home alone with your baby and all it does is scream and cry non-stop and no matter what you do and no matter what you say and no matter what you try all your baby does is just scream and cry louder and louder until you get to that point where all you want to do is just throw in the towel or scream into a pillow!

Yup. Those times.

Well, I had another one of those times recently, and again I started to question myself. Am I cut out for being a Dad? Can I do this whole parenting thing? Do I want to do this?

It’s in those moments that I feel so helpless as a parent. As a Dad. It’s in those moments that I feel completely ill equipped to help this tiny human of ours who is completely inconsolable.

But then something happens. Something completely sweet and innocent.

After the screaming dies down. After the crying stops. That little human we made just casually walks over, cuddles up next to me and falls asleep.

jesse-sleeping

And it’s at that moment that I fall in love with him all over again. It’s that moment that I forget everything that’s just happened in the last two hours and realise how much love I have for him. It’s in that moment, when I feel his chest gently rising and falling with each breath… when I’m taking in the sweet smell of his hair… when I’m gently kissing his cheeks and forehead as he drifts soundly off to sleep… that I realise I can do this!

It’s in that moment that I realise that while it certainly isn’t easy. That while it’s not always going to be rosy. That while it’s not always going to be sunny. That I can do this parenting thing. That I can do this Dad thing.

And ultimately, that I do want to do this Dad thing!!!

Life with a toddler

Renee BartonLeave a comment

Having a new baby is certainly tough at times. There’s the broken sleep every night, 2 hourly feeds, endless nappy changes and the tummy bulge that just won’t budge.

But with all of that comes binge watching Grey’s Anatomy (you have to do something during all that couch time for feeding), day time naps, coffee dates and plenty of visitors bearing pre-cooked meals and willing to cuddle baby while you sleep / shower / have 5 minutes without a baby in your arms or attached to your boob!

Believe it or not though this is actually the easy bit. Soon enough that little newborn that stayed in the same place if you put it down to go to the loo turns into a toddler that insists on following you in every single time, pulling the toilet paper off the roll and wanting to push the flush button for you before you’re even done.

Suddenly getting 30 minutes to watch a tv show or read a book or just do the dishes without a tug on your leg is seemingly impossible. The tables of control turn and you find yourself at the beck and call of a walking, talking, small human.

As my baby has now turned into a toddler seemingly overnight, there are a whole host of things I am learning to be at peace with when living with a toddler.


1. Mess! Food is constantly being dropped on the floor instead of eaten. Toys are more often than not scattered on the lounge room floor and there are crumbs and chocolate stains on the couch.

2. Unfolded clothes. I’ve given up folding his clothes because the clean folded ones inevitably end up in the laundry hamper and the dirty ones in his draws. It’s a fun game apparently.

3. A ‘helper’ for everything. Whether it’s sending an email, sweeping the floor, putting a load of washing on or taking the rubbish out there is my shadow; bashing away at the keyboard and swinging the broom handle around knocking over anything in its path.

4. A dirty child. Food all over his face, dirt on his feet, drawings on his legs and a sweaty head. Keeping this kid clean is near impossible.

5. A new boss. If he’s not helping me do whatever menial yet important task I’m trying to complete, he is literally bossing me around. Not doing what he wants? Be prepared to have him grab you by the hand or clothes and drag you to where he wants you to be. Sometimes he will walk around and push you until you get to his desired location. The bedroom. The couch. He will even grab your hand and push it up to the handle on the fridge if he wants something like the not so secret stash of Maltesers we currently have.

Okay so I’m still working on pretty much all of these. I still cringe when he feeds himself a messy meal with a spoon. And my new handheld vacuum is my best friend.

But there are also loads of super awesome things about life with a toddler. His vocabulary is growing every day, he clearly understands everything I say to him (though he doesn’t always listen) and his little personality and quirks are just so cute as he learns about the world around him.

Not to mention the way my heart melts with every kiss and cuddle he plants on me.

Life with a toddler… I wouldn’t have it any other way!