Jesse’s Hat

A blankie… a teddy bear… a favourite toy… a dummy (or pacifier for you international readers out there)…

Most babies/kids go through the phase of becoming attached to that one particular item that they just can’t possibly live without it. They must know where it is at all times and if they don’t, well, you don’t really want to have to deal with the repercussions of that.

Well, it would seem that Jesse is currently smack bang in the thick of serious attachment mode. But not with a blankie, teddy or his favourite toy. Oh no, he is seriously head over heels in love with his hat!

That’s right… his hat! This is a kid that used to hate wearing hats so much that whenever you put one on him, he would rip it off strait away, throw it to the ground and give you death stares as though it was the absolute worst possible thing you could have ever done to him.

He is so attached to his hat in fact, that there isn’t a single moment of time from when he wakes, to when he sleeps, that it isn’t glued to his head. Oh yes, that’s right. As soon as he gets up in the morning… BANG! On goes the hat. And there it stays right up until bath time where his head gets a 5-10 minute reprieve. But as soon as he is dressed and ready for bed… BANG! On goes the hat again.

He even wears it to bed, and will only remove it once he feels like he is ready to fall asleep. Don’t you dare try to take it off his head before then. Because you will be told in no uncertain terms that you are in trouble for touching his hat.

I mean look at that thing… it doesn’t even look like what’s it’s supposed to look like any more. He’s worn it that long that it’s completely lost its shape. The brim has the major droops going on. And if you can believe it, it’s actually supposed to be a fedora, not a straw bucket hat that looks like it’s come from a bad scarecrow Halloween costume.

But with that said, every single day when he wakes up only to make his way over to his hat to put it on for the day, all we can do is smile and giggle at the absolute adorableness that Jesse and his well-loved hat brings.

So the question of the day is, have your kids become attached to something? And if so, is it something unusual like Jesse’s hat, or something more common like the family teddy or blankie?

And with all that said, I am no sitting here wondering how Jesse will react when the hat no longer fits, or finally falls apart on him.

Shit… I don’e even want to think about it…

Going on holidays with kids

Last weekend we went on a weekend holiday up to the Sunshine Coast with Renee’s family. It was the first “holiday” we’ve had with two kids. I say “holiday”, because what holiday.

You know those posts you see on Facebook that pop up every now and again because one of your Facebook friends has thrown it a like. You know the ones. Where it has two photos side by side, on the left it says ‘before kids’ and the right it says ‘with kids’. Well they’re all true. Every single one of them! Holidays… date nights… meals… you name it. If there is a meme out there with a before and after photo and it shows what a couple does before kids and with kids. It’s 100% accurate.

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And this “holiday” certainly did open our eyes to what life is now like when we are on holidays with kids.

Our weekend holidays up or down the coast would usually go something like this:

Pick a destination, anywhere will do. Book. Pack a bag for the weekend. Drive there. Relax in or by the pool. Have a few drinks on the balcony. Go out for lunch and dinner. More drinks on the balcony. More relaxing by the pool. Game of mini golf. Relaxing in bed. Late night champagne with a movie. Go out for breakfast. Anywhere will do. More relaxing by the pool. Maybe we could go to the beach. More drinks on the balcony. Go out lunch and dinner. More relaxing. More relaxing. More relaxing.

Our holidays no longer look like this. Because kids… So now, a simple weekend away, looks more like this:

Pick a destination, but somewhere that close to amenities or is kid friendly. Pack your bag for the weekend. Pack the kids bags. Pack toys for the kids. Triple check you haven’t forgotten anything, especially nappies or wipes. Pack the car. Get the kids dressed. Get the kids in the car. Hope the 6 month old doesn’t have a tantrum in the car the whole way there. When you get to the hotel, make 3 trips up and down from the apartment to the car because of all the stuff you now need. Put ABC Kids on the television to keep kids occupied for 5mins while you plan your attack on the weekend. Order dinner to eat in the room because the kids won’t deal with a restaurant environment while they’re this tired. Try and find a kid friendly restaurant for lunch the next day. Hope they don’t throw tantrums or run amok while eating lunch. Go to pool. Change kids into swimming nappies. Try and get sunscreen on them. Run after them so they don’t slip and break an arm or don’t slip into the pool and drown. Generally run around after the kids when they need you. Pack the car back up on last day. Drive home. Unpack everything. Put kids to bed for the night. Fall in a heap on the lounge and realise you haven’t actually had a holiday at all.

And that is only just scratching the surface!

But with that said, it really was a fun weekend away. Hectic fun. But fun none the less.

Holidays are just different for us now. But we wouldn’t change that for the world.

Jesse

Giggling Baby

So this video is a little old… but it is still definitely worth sharing. It is from the first time we were able to get Jasper to really laugh.

Daddy was being very silly… Jasper was being completely adorable… And the end result was this damn cute video of him cracking up laughing for the first time!

Remember to sit down, take a breath, and enjoy the simple things in life… like giggling babies!

Dad Bod: It’s Time To Go Part II

On 23 January 2017, someone decided to write a post called ‘Dad Bod: It’s time to go!’

That someone was me.

My post went something a little like this:

“Blah blah blah I’m not going to beat around the bush… I have officially (by my own admittance) reached fat bastard status! I got to that point where I realised I had two options available moving forward regarding my diet and my weight. Either stop eating… or buy a whole new wardrobe full of clothes. And let’s face it, to stop eating is definitely the cheaper way to go!”

“Blah blah blah I mean, it’s pretty bad. Like so bad that the t-shirts I own look like they’re about 2 sizes to small when I wear them. If I start to raise my arms it looks like I’m wearing a midriff! Plus none of my pants fit! We went to the Redcliffe Lagoon just before New Years and I couldn’t do them up. I have buttons popping open on shorts and I even had to use a hair tie on the top button of a pair of jeans because I couldn’t get it done up! Yes, a hack I learned from my pregnant wife.”

“Blah blah blah I’ve embraced the Dad Bod for long enough. All the delicious food and the cold beers and the tasty burgers and the amazing chocolate and the delightful doughnuts and the… IT’S TIME TO STOP!!!”

Pretty convincing stuff right. Well, I must have thought so at the time, because I was clearly fired up enough to put down in writing that I was going to lose the dad bod and gain a six pack that would give Zac Efron a run for his money! I was making claims like I was going to be the next inspirational body transformation story to go viral around the world and have everyone asking me “How did you do it?” I was talking like I was going to be the next Instagram male fitness model with abs of steel, calves that could cut through glass, biceps that would make The Rock jealous and an ego to match.

Fast forward to the end of June and I’m now peaking at 90kg in weight, I haven’t given up any of the bad foods I said I was going to give up, I’m drinking more beer than I did at Christmas and New Years, I’ve had to buy the next size up in underwear, and I’ve had to buy half a wardrobes worth of clothes that actually fit me.

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I think I’ve practically just given up trying to lose weight and get back to my peak fitness level. It’s like I’ve just thrown up the middle finger with a “f*** it… I’m having cake and beer!” I mean, cake and beer is freaking delicious!!! Who doesn’t want cake and beer! Just throw in some mac and cheese, dark chocolate, a full family bag of cheese supreme Doritos and some ice cream and you have a bloody good night in at home on the couch watching some Netflix!

Losing weight is just so damn hard these days. I mean, I never really thought that being in my early thirties would have that much of an impact on my health and fitness but f***… it’s like my body just turns whatever I eat to fat and stores it there for an eternity.

So bugger it… I’m just going to keep enjoying myself. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still exercise and sh**… but I think I’m going to give up on the dream of being the next Arnold Schwarzenegger!

With that said, I’ve got to go… I’ve got a 7/11 Slurpee and king size Mars bar calling my name!

Something funny happened last night…

Something funny happened in our house last night.

Something that is the result of two tired parents, at night, doing their best, trying to get the kids to bed.

So, as is normally the case of an evening/night in the Barton household at the moment, Renee was feeding and nursing Jasper while I was playing with Jesse and making us dinner. On Saturday night while we were out for my Mum’s Birthday, Jesse found a skill tester full of bouncy balls. $1 later and some serious skill tester skills on my part, Jesse was the proud owner of a small, red bouncy ball which hasn’t left his sight since we got home that night. So last night, Daddy and Jesse were bouncing said bouncy ball back and forth to each other for hours, much to Jesse’s delight.

Anyways, so we eventually got organised and got both boys ready for bed.


Our normal routine of an evening is once the boys are ready for bed, and once Jesse has had enough playtime and starts showing signs of being tired, one of us will take him into our bedroom and lay with him on our bed with a bottle while he falls asleep. Well, last night it didn’t quite play out that way.

We got the boys ready for bed… we let Jesse continue playing… and Renee took him into our room for a bottle and sleep time. 7 minutes later, the door opens and out strolls Jesse wide eyed and bushy tailed! Ok, fair enough, not quite ready for bed yet.

So it was more bouncy ball play time, as Jesse and I sat at opposite ends of the kitchen and continued to bounce it to each other.

A little while later, and it was my turn. So it was into the bedroom, sans bottle, for the second attempt… … … We didn’t even last 5 minutes this time!

Back out we go for more play time.

About 30 minutes later, Jesse finally takes me by the hand, requests another bottle and then leads me into the bedroom. By this stage, it’s somewhere between 8:30 and 9:00pm and well past Jesse’s bedtime. It’s all good though. Hopefully he falls asleep pretty quickly and I’ll be able to sneak out in time to see the end of MasterChef.

I remember laying down beside him, feeling him snuggling into me as he chugged his bottle down. I remember him handing me the empty bottle, putting it on the side table, and then snuggling back into him as he rolled over to get comfortable. And then…

Well, the next thing I remember is Renee nudging me in the arm to wake me up. “Hey… we both fell asleep and it’s now 10pm” she says to me as I try and comprehend where I am and what’s happened.

“What?! Did I really fall asleep” I say back to her, convinced she is lying. I’m sure I remember thinking about stuff while I lay here. Or was it a dream…

Oh well… that folks, is how parenting is done. Where the person with the most energy at 8pm on a Sunday night is your 2 year old toddler. And when you both fall asleep trying to put the kids to bed and miss the end of Australia’s best amateur cooking show, MasterChef. Who had the three best dishes? Who had the worst three dishes? Who the hell was the guest chef? These are all questions I may never get the answers to…

Like I said at the start of this post, something funny happened last night. It was the result of two tired parents, just doing our best.

So, what’s in store tonight? Well, I can let you know how we go if you like, although, there is one thing I do know… I can’t miss the ending of another episode of Australia’s favourite show about cooking things, MasterChef (not really, because really, who gives a sh*t about who had the best dish when you can snuggle with your 2 year old in bed!).

Photo Friday: Not Quite Newborn

When Jesse was just 14 days old, our amazing photographer Renee Trubai came to our home and photographed us and our little boy. She captured the rawness of us as brand new parents and all the wonder that is a brand new baby.

This time we were left to our own devices (literally) to photograph Jasper as Renee tends to her two month old twins.

We’re trying desperately not to fall into the trap of having a million photos of the first born and none of the second, but it can be tricky at times!

But 4 weeks and 4 days old, we finally got around to taking a few shots. Using our own camera, a tripod and Kaine’s iPhone (which we had to crop out of some pics!), we managed to get a few nice ones for the photo book.



This one is particularly hilarious to us because instead of looking like a delicate newborn like Jesse did, Jasper is a chunky monkey complete with arm rolls! Super cute though!

Oh yea, and Renee, we tried our hardest, but nothing compares to the photos you take. WE NEED OUR AMAZING PHOTOGRAPHER BACK!!! 😝😂

Sex After Childbirth

So fellas, you thought negotiating sex during pregnancy was difficult? For nine months you and your partner battled your way through despite the nausea, tiredness, raging hormones and growing belly. Not to mention for many guys, the fear of stabbing your unborn child or somehow risking the pregnancy (which by the way, you can’t).

Well now the baby is out and you are keen to reignite the passion in the bedroom. But let me just say, you now have a whole host of other things to deal with, and you may need to be a little understanding if your lady isn’t as eager to ‘get back on the saddle’ so to speak.


So there’s the obvious… A baby has recently emerged from her body, quite possibly from the same area you wish to become reacquainted with, so she may need some time to heal and feel like herself again. Particularly if the birth was traumatic for her.

She may also be still getting used to the way her body looks in the mirror now. We know you think we’re sexy no matter what and we love that. It might just take a bit longer for us to agree with you.

Secondly, the boobs that you are dying to squeeze because, well let’s face it, they’re huge! Yup, those boobs are probably sore and sensitive. So go easy! I know, she’s constantly teasing you by having them out, right there, in front of you, all the damn time, but be warned, this is to feed your newborn child only – DO NOT TOUCH!

And perhaps the biggest mood killer, she’s really damned tired. Not just the ‘had a big day at work’ kind of tired. But the sheer exhaustion that comes from night after night after night of broken sleep and the endless demand of being at someone’s beck and call 24/7. The kind of tired where if you dare roll toward her suggestively as she finally crawls into bed and is already thinking about when she’ll have to get up for the next feed, you may not live to make any more babies.

So as much as you want to reconnect with your lady, she probably wants to reconnect with herself first. She’s probably craving for just 30 minutes of alone time. To not be touched, not have a hungry baby in her arms or a toddler watching her pee. To take her time in the shower instead of rushing because the baby is crying. Time to get her brows waxed or shave her legs.

It’s these small things that help us to get our sexy back! Just sayin’!

And the more you guys get it, the more you’ll get it. Get it… *wink wink*.

There is nothing more irresistible to a new mum than her man taking the kids for a bit and insisting she have some quality ‘me’ time. Oh and make her a coffee or pour a glass of wine for her every now and again. And then make sure she has her hands free to actually enjoy it.

Sex after childbirth may seem ever elusive and probably a little scary, but these little things can go a long way to making sure you both get what you need.