You Know You’re A Parent When…

December 16, 2015December 16, 2015 Renee Barton1 Comment

There are many tell-tale signs that you have become a parent. Some are obvious. Yes, that small human being that’s constantly hanging around you now is your child. And some that may have happened subtly over time. Like the increase of toys scattered on the lounge room floor and the ever-growing dark circles under your eyes.

We have certainly noticed a lot of changes in our lives since becoming parents. And we’re only six months in!

So here’s what I’ve found.

You know you’re a parent when…

Tired is the new normal. You can’t actually remember what it feels like to have a night of uninterrupted sleep. The next time you get to do it might be years away, but you know you will never take a full night sleep for granted again.
There is a mini, makeshift bed on the floor next to yours. Though it may only act as a deterrent and it may only last for a few hours before they inevitably end up in your bed anyway, it’s good while it lasts.
6.30am is now considered a sleep in. What happened to those people that used to sleep in til 10am on Sunday mornings?? Now by 7am your child has kicked you in the ribs, punched you in face and pulled your hair until you gave in and got up. And by 10am you’ve managed to feed and clothe everyone, do two loads of laundry, wash up all the bottles, change clothes again due to a vomit or poop explosion, sing ‘five little Ducks’ three times and if you’re lucky, get ready to leave the house.
Coffee and wine are practically food groups. Or insert other caffeinated / alcohol laden vices here.
Kids shows now grace your television screen for several hours a day. And you sing along with all of the theme songs! Those things are catchy as hell and you find yourself humming them long after the show finished.
Having someone else’s vomit or poop or wee or snot or dribble on you is now commonplace and no big deal.
You narrate EVERYTHING all whilst referring to yourself in the third person. ‘Mummy is just going to go to the toilet and then I’ll be right back to pick you up ok?’
You now talk to your spouse through baby talk with the baby. ‘Mummy thinks Daddy should go and change your nappy so Mummy can have a rest’.
Your camera roll that was once filled with photos of food, travel snaps and drunken selfies is now full of photos of your kid. Often multiples of the almost exact same photo!
You find yourself suddenly much more tolerant of other people’s children. That toddler throwing themselves on the ground at the shops is no longer the spectacle it once was. Instead you are just thankful it’s not your kid this time as you give the parents a knowing smile.

And, for good measure, number 11 is that despite all this you wouldn’t have it any other way. Even on the toughest days a smile, giggle or cuddle from the small human makes being a parent totally awesome.

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A friend said to me recently that of all the people she knows who have children, none of them have ever said ‘Oh, don’t do it, it’s not really worth it’.

I was oddly comforted as I realised she was right. I too have never heard any parents say it wasn’t worth it.

So while it might be bloody hard at times, anything worth doing usually is.

Footage Friday: YouTube Trailer

December 4, 2015 Kaine BartonLeave a comment

As you would know by now, as part of our ‘Not So Secret Life Of Us’ project and blog, we have our own YouTube channel.

Well, one of the projects that we kept putting off, was our NSSLOU YouTube Trailer. This is basically a video that any new visitors to our YouTube channel will be presented with, giving them a snapshot into our lives and what our channel is all about.

And can we just say, that we are absolutely stoked with how it’s turned out!

We went through all of our old footage dating right back to when we were first married… and combined it into a 3min long highlight reel of our lives so far. So check the video out below, and while you’re at it, go hit us up on YouTube and leave us a like, a comment and subscribe… 😉

Peace out! (I think we need to come up with a better sign off… hahaha…)

Parenting: The Ultimate Test In Team Work

November 25, 2015November 25, 2015 Renee BartonLeave a comment

After kind of a rough morning, it is now Jesse’s nap time and all is quiet in the house.

For a moment I think about how I’d love to just flop on the couch, switch on some Netflix and just mentally recharge before round two. And then I look over to the kitchen and notice the bottles that need washing up. I then remember that load of baby clothes that’s still in the machine that need hanging up to dry. And my thoughts then turn to my next blog post which unfortunately isn’t going to write itself.

Nap time then becomes a mission to get as much done as humanly possible before he wakes up and the cycle starts again.

I tell you what… they are right when they say that being a mum is the most rewarding yet most difficult job in the world! But I wouldn’t have it any other way. As hard as it is on some days for the stay-at-home parent, it is equally as challenging for the one who’s at work all day.

On mornings like we had today, when Jesse is upset and crying for reasons that I can’t quite figure out, I not only have to soothe him, but I also find myself reassuring Kaine that everything is OK. This is partly my own fault, because he wouldn’t even know if it weren’t for the fact I keep him up to date via text messages and Snapchats throughout the day.

It is mostly good news and cute pics. But when its not, I know that his natural ‘worry wart’ tendencies are even more exacerbated due to him not being able to be here to see or help Jesse first hand.

The plus side of having a partner to navigate this whole parenting maze with is that we balance each other out. If Kaine’s freaking out over something then I try to stay calm so that I can talk him down and be the voice of reason and positivity. And goodness knows he has had to talk me off a ledge a time or two as well. That said, it doesn’t always work out that way and there are occasions when we disagree or simply not know the right action to take.

Being married is one thing but raising a human with another person is the ultimate test in team work. Its no longer just about where the toothpaste tube gets squeezed from, which way the toilet paper goes on the holder or who hogs the sheets at night. We now have to work together to take care of a baby.

Suddenly we’re needing to make all these decisions and we both are desperately trying to get it right and take care of our little man the best we can. I swear every time I run the bath for Jesse, Kaine will ask if the temperature is okay before putting him in. And, probably equally annoying for Kaine is when I come swooping in to console a tired, cranky bub even though he is doing a great job of it himself.

Of course it is not that we are judging each other or that we don’t trust each other’s decisions. We just so badly want to do an exceptional job at raising our little human, and any future little humans that my join our family, that sometimes it all get’s just a little overwhelming.

That said, even though it can be really hard and overwhelming at times, we know its only because we care so much. For our boy. For each other. And about being the best and most exceptional parent we can be.

But at the end of the day, when it comes to our values and our desire to be peaceful, positive parents… We are 100% on the same page. And that is what makes us work!

Photo: Renee Trubai | Teething Jewellery: Nature Bubz

Jesse’s First Swim

November 1, 2015November 1, 2015 Kaine BartonLeave a comment

Spring time in Queensland is glorious. So we definitely wanted to take advantage of this amazing weather with a road trip today.

So we packed the car, bundled Jesse up and hit the road to the big smoke for a Caravan and Camping Show and then for lunch and a swim at South Bank.

As you would have read previously, we are in the early stages of planning a big trip around Australia. So when we found out there was a caravan and camping show sale on just outside the Brisbane CBD, we definitely wanted to head in for a look.

But the best part of the day was when we headed over the Brisbane River to South Bank for lunch and a swim. Jesse’s first swim. And it was the perfect opportunity to try our new camera outdoors (since the weather has been rainy and overcast for the past week). We couldn’t wait.

After absolutely demolishing a couple of burgers for lunch, and feeding Jesse his puréed fruit, it was time to jump into the pool to cool off. Jump in for Jesse’s first swim. A swim we knew Jesse was going to love.

And love it he did. He didn’t flinch one bit when Renee took him into the water. And he didn’t complain once while he was in there. Instead, just after i’d finished taking the photos that you can see below, he fell asleep in the water. He really must have loved the cool water against his hot skin.

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It was so cute seeing him enjoying his first swim. Even if it meant that he didn’t enjoy it for very long on account of him falling asleep. But it was great to have such beautiful weather that we could actually get outside and enjoy spring in Brisbane.

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After our little swim, we decided to head off and have a wander through the South Bank markets. Our little family. The three of us, out on a Sunday enjoying the outdoors together.

Before we had Jesse I would look at little families and often think, they look like a nice family. I wonder if young couples look at us now and think the same thing?

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After having such a great day out, on the way home in the car discussion turned to how we should actually get out and enjoy the great outdoors more often. There are YouTubers we watch that are always getting out and enjoying the outdoors. Whether that be just walking around enjoying the sun, or getting our for a skate, bike ride or mountain climbing.

And I even know a few people at my work who are always out and about on weekends. Sharing photos of their latest adventures on Instagram and Facebook.

We came to the conclusion that it doesn’t really cost any money to go out on adventures like that. And that it is definitely something we need to do a lot more of. Especially now that we have such a nice camera to use.

So where do you go on adventures to? Where is your favourite place outdoors to visit? What suggestions could you give us for our next adventure as a family?

As I finish off this post, all I can think about is how excited I am for our next outdoors adventure as a family. #family #love

Milk Drunk Love Stories: Our Breastfeeding Journey So Far

October 28, 2015October 29, 2015 Renee BartonLeave a comment

I was recently asked by our photographer Renee Trubai to contribute to her Nourish: Milk Drunk Love Stories project.

Renee’s vision for the project is to develop a community of parents supporting and cheering each other on by sharing their experiences on nourishing their children in whatever form that may be.

I was delighted to be asked to be involved and spent several days thinking back over our experiences with learning to feed our baby. I was reminded of just how tough those early days and weeks are. What seems so instinctive on the surface is actually a really complex and confusing issue. It is great that we have so much information and so many options available but this also adds to the complexity.

When I sat down to write our story I was taken back to a time not so long ago when I felt like I was never going to get off the couch. All those hours spent feeding our baby, helping him to grow and flourish. The days just disappeared in the repetitive cycle of feeding and pumping all the while trying to learn to read our baby’s cues and understand what he needed. Nights were even harder when we had to do it all again but this time alone, in the dark while the rest of the world slept. Learning to feed our babies often comes with a lot of frustration and tears but also a lot of beautiful moments too.

If there is one thing I’ve learned during these past five months of being a parent it is that no matter what path we or nature might chose for nourishing our babies we should execute it proudly and without shame. A happy and healthy baby (and a happy Mama!) is far more important than how that nourishment is delivered.

Our story will be shared soon. In the meantime, head over to Milk Drunk Love Stories and check out the beautiful stories from other parents and maybe even share your own. It is an incredibly supportive and uplifting community. We are very proud and honoured to be a part of it.

The Technology Takeover: how do we fight back?

October 7, 2015October 7, 2015 Renee Barton1 Comment

It started off slow.

Checking Facebook when we had a few minutes to spare. Posting a snap on Instagram to share a special memory with friends. Catching up on the news or checking the weather.

But somehow, without us even noticing, our devices are taking over. Taking over family dinners and coffee dates, playtime with our kids and talk time with our partners.

It’s not that technology is the enemy. I’m currently writing this post on my new iPhone 6 Plus (it’s so big!) and have an iPad set up in the back seat for my 4 month old to (sometimes) keep him from screaming blue murder on car trips.

But I’m constantly aware of finding a balance. Between being present in the moment and capturing it to share on Facebook. Between watching a cute dog video on YouTube and going outside and throwing a stick with our dog. Between reading parenting articles about how to be a better parent and actually being one.

We have had many discussions in our household about just that. About how important it is to us to spend quality time together looking at each other and not a screen. About how ridiculous it is that 4 year olds have their own iPads and that we don’t want to use a screen as a babysitter for our children.

I must preface this with a disclaimer for all those parents out there for whom technology is a godsend. A way to communicate with a child on the spectrum or educate a child with learning disabilities. I’m more so talking about how we could walk into any restaurant in the country and see people looking at their phones instead of each other.

I distinctly recall talking about these things when I was pregnant. One of the things I said was I didn’t want to be breastfeeding and on my phone the whole time. What I failed to realise at the time was that breastfeeding takes up like 14 hours a day in those early weeks. And when staring at your newborn and taking in their every tiny feature only takes up about 7 of them there is still a whole lot of time to kill. The mighty smartphone is a godsend to a new mum. It reminds her that there is a world outside the 4 walls of her house and helps her connect with it even just a little.

I know we’re not the only household dealing with this dilemma. Wives are battling phones for the attention of their husbands. Parents are battling with their kids for a family meal without phones on the table. And babies are smiling and giggling at us while we laugh at a funny video on Facebook.

This powerful image published by the Huffington Post is captioned with “the more you connect, the less you connect.” If we are being honest I think we have probably all been guilty of neglecting a loved one because we are too busy with a smart phone in our face.

So, how do you deal with the technology takeover in your family? A screen free hour each night? No phones at the dinner table? Chores for the WiFi password?

How can we benefit from all the great things about technology without just amusing ourselves to death? How can we ensure we enjoy some downtime thumbing through our Facebook and Instagram feeds without neglecting our loved ones?

How do we strike that perfect balance between living in the moment, and living in the digital world of Facebook updates and YouTube videos?

Because at the moment, it feels like technology is slowly starting to win the battle for our attention and that is something that I think… rather, that is something that I know, we need to change!

Photo Friday: Spring in the City

September 11, 2015 Kaine Barton1 Comment

Spring is probably my favourite season of the year. And in Queensland, the gods really turn it on for us each year when spring eventually rolls around.

Spring has officially begun. We are now 11 days into what I think is the best season of the year and it’s already looking like it’s going to be a spectacular one. The skies are blue. The trees are starting to get their leaves and flowers back. The grass is the greenest I’ve seen it. And the temperature is that perfect mix between being not too cold and not too warm…

It is absolute heaven…

I work in Brisbane City. Always have done. And spring is the perfect season to get out and about to soak up the sun on leisurely lunch time walks.

On more than one occasion over the past week I have found myself walking through the Brisbane Botanical Gardens enjoying this heavenly weather we are experiencing. I’ll often walk through looking at the gardens daydreaming about our future with little Jesse. Or sit on the grass and soak up the sun thinking back about how lucky we are to have such a perfect little man in our lives.

It is incredibly soothing and relaxing to be able to get outdoors and just clear your mind on a daily basis, getting away from the hustle and bustle of the streets of Brisbane and the stress of work.

Spring in Queensland, is perfect!

So, do you enjoy spring as much as I do? What do enjoy doing in spring that relaxes you?

My First Father’s Day

September 6, 2015September 6, 2015 Kaine Barton1 Comment

Today, is Father’s Day.

Today, is my first Father’s Day as a Father.

The day started off with a bang for my first ever Father’s Day, getting spoilt in bed with a few gifts from Renee and Jesse. All while I got to cuddle and play and laugh with our little Jesse. There is nothing that brightens my morning up more than waking up to a smiling Jesse.

After having a leisurely breakfast, we headed off to see our respective dads to wish them a happy Father’s Day.

First stop was my parents place where I not only got to wish my dad a happy Father’s Day, but my mum’s dad too. We had 4 generations there and it was great to share the morning with not only my old man, but my mum’s family.

Three Generations

Then it was off to see Renee’s dad for lunch.

We met up with them at Phoenix at the Bracken Ridge Tavern for some share plates and a sneaky beer.

All in all, it was an amazing first Father’s Day, and I can’t wait to celebrate many more with Jesse as he grows older.

I know that this is only a short post for me… But I think even though it is short, I’ve said all I need to say.

To all the dads out there… Happy Father’s Day!!!

Our Fur Babies: Remembering Jack

September 2, 2015October 10, 2015 Renee Barton1 Comment

Long before we had a human baby we had our fur babies.

We are both big dog lovers. We both have fond memories of growing up with dogs as kids and we think it is really important for children to have pets. It is a great way to learn about responsibility but also just an awesome companion for the whole family.

Despite being dog lovers though, our first pet together was a cat! Must have been the lure of that cute little grey kitten. Dr Grey (yes, I named her after Meredith Grey long before Taylor Swift made it cool) is now 10 years old and pretty much just does her own thing in our household. Not even sure she likes us that much!

Then there is Pacey, our crazy, lovable Malamute cross German Sheppard. He is a big hairy boy of 5 years old but still acts like a puppy sometimes. We love him so much despite the dirt track that has become our backyard.

But yesterday in the mail I received a reminder of our old boy Jack in the form of his registration renewal. Sadly, we had to put Jackson down in February this year. It was incredibly difficult but definitely the right thing to do for him. He was 15 years old, he had been in our family for half my life, but his quality of life had quickly diminished and we both knew the time had come.

He was such a cheeky boy in his younger days. He’d often follow me to school and I wouldn’t realise until about half way there and I’d have to walk him all the way home again. Then there were the times (yes, more than once) when he ate ratsack and I had to wash his mouth out with salt water whilst crying my eyes out hoping he would be OK. Then there was the time he pooped out an entire sock. Not to mention all of his escape attempts several of which landed him at the pound which is how he came to live with Kaine and I.

When we were at the vet that awful day I kept thinking about the movie ‘Marley and Me’ and how they said Marley wasn’t like regular dogs. That’s how I felt about Jack. He was one in a million.

When it came time to make the decision I knew I was the one who had to make it. Kaine had brought it up a few times as ‘Buddy’s’ health declined but I just kept hanging on and he just kept on going.

But very suddenly he could no longer walk and I knew he was just holding on for us. I had to let him be free. As I cuddled him and kissed his fury little face I whispered through tears that I was sorry and that I hoped he could forgive me. I just wished he could talk so he could tell me I was doing the right thing.

I was sad to be losing our fury little friend and I was sad that he would never get to meet our little bubba, I was five months pregnant when he went to heaven.

It was one of the toughest days but I’ll never forget Kaine’s support that day. He cried with me as we stood in the vet saying goodbye to our ‘Jacko Boy’.

A little while after that I mentioned to Kaine that it would be cool if we had a baby boy to somehow honour Jack. We had four boys names on our short list each with a different middle name. And when our little boy came into the world we just knew that ‘Jesse Jack’ was the right name for him.

So while we miss our ‘Buddy’ his memory lives on.

The Fourth Trimester: A Love Letter to My Son

August 19, 2015August 19, 2015 Renee Barton1 Comment

It is done. You are officially twelve weeks old. And it has been swell, my love.

After nine beautiful months, three trimesters, of growing you in my belly every day wondering what you would be like. We have now spent the fourth trimester, your first three months in the outside world, falling in love. And I for one am smitten.

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You are the sweetest little boy. I will cherish this special time we’ve had together forever. Our secret rendezvous in the middle of the night. Our delicious afternoon naps together. Carrying you close to my body making us both reminisce about those months you spent inside. And our morning snuggles in bed, my heart melting with every smile.

You have already grown so much. From a tiny, slippery bundle I could hold in my two palms to a chubby bouncing boy. The tiniest clothes were too big for you and now you are filling out your 000 outfits.

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When I felt you kicking in my tummy I knew we had a special connection. When I held you for the first time I knew I loved you. But now that I know you I know that my heart now lives outside my body. When you are sad and cry my heart aches like never before. And when you smile it sings.

These past 3 months haven’t been easy have they, my love. We have had some tough times together. I know you love it out here with us but it has been hard transitioning from the warm and cosy home in my tummy and sometimes you miss it. I miss it too.

Remember our second day together? You were so hungry and we were both learning what to do. We cried together that night in hospital but we made it through.

in hospital