Okay, so it’s Saturday but better late than never right?
Jesse’s seventh month was quite eventful with two of the most adorable little teeth you’ve ever seen making an appearance as well as mastering how to sit up on his own.
We had a few hiccups whilst recording the video but hey, they do say never work with babies or animals!
Enjoy.
It’s hard to believe but the first month of 2016 is almost over. I know, right!
It may seem like the year has taken off and left you somewhere around December 27th last year but don’t fret. It’s not too late to plan your year and get back on track. Don’t let another year just slip by leaving you wondering when time started to go by so quickly.
Already, this year is not what I had expected. After 9 months of maternity leave I should have been returning to my job this week but instead I am embarking on a new adventure and starting my own business as a licensed Kangatraining Instructor. The successful boutique consulting company I worked with for the last five years are closing their doors to allow for it’s people to pursue other opportunities. Including me.
As fate would have it, I had already started down the Kangatraining path and was planning to do both part time when I found out there wasn’t going to be a job for me to return to. Strangely enough I didn’t freak out. I strongly believe in the mantra ‘everything happens for a reason’. And thankfully I have a super supportive husband who also didn’t freak out and has been nothing but positive and encouraging.
I have found that women don’t need the support of their man to be successful, but it sure bloody helps! Guys, you might think your lady is a super star capable of anything she sets her mind to, but have you told her that lately?
Anyway, as I type this I am gearing up to take my instructor exams and putting in place all the finer details to get this new adventure up and running. And I can’t help thinking about how often thin threads can completely change our direction in life.
One minute I am spending 40 hours a week sitting in my home office in front of a computer screen… okay, let me digress for a minute and address some of the working from home questions that have no doubt popped up in your mind…
Yes, I worked from home. Yes, I often worked in my pyjamas. No, I never worked nude or whilst in bed. And yes, I may or may not have taken the odd afternoon siesta on the lounge, particularly while pregnant. And while I’m on the topic of working from home, whenever I talked about returning to work after having a baby everyone would say “oh but you work from home, how convenient, you won’t need day care”. Seriously?? I don’t know about all of you other mums out there but I can barely get my hair brushed or the dishes done let alone have a productive work day when home with my baby.
Now, where was I… Oh yes, one minute I’m spending 40 hours a week in front of a computer screen (working very hard), the next I have a baby who requires my attention around the clock and doesn’t like it very much when I sleep and now I’m about to become a fitness instructor (I know, I can’t say it with a straight face yet) where I get to play with mummies and bubbies and live out my dream of being a (sort of) dance teacher.
I feel so lucky to have found something that allows me to be with my baby whilst contributing to our household finances AND combines my love of dance and fitness with my passion for baby wearing and helping other mamas.
So, my point is (if in fact there is one amongst all of this sleep deprived rambling) if January has slipped past you, stop right now and set yourself a goal for February. As big or as small as you like. But don’t let this next month be just another 28 (or is it 29?) days of the year. It is never too late to change direction… get back on the wagon… or insert other witty cliché here.
Dare to dream
x
So this past week in the Barton household has been a tough one.
We’ve had teething issues… We’ve had high temperatures… We’ve had heat rash… We’ve had loss of appetite… We’ve had uncontrollable crying… We’ve had tantrums… We’ve had pushing bottles away… We’ve had up the backers…
We’ve had a cranky, tired, unsettled bubba who was quite obviously not dealing with the nasty effects of teething.
All that said though, when he falls asleep… He still looks like the cutest, most peaceful, wonderful little man I ever lay eyes on!
We can’t wait for the poor little guy to get through this rough patch, getting back to his usual, happy go lucky self.
Ok… So you know that Delta Goodrem song ‘Mistaken Identity’? Yea… You know the one, where she croons to everyone that “it’s a terrible case… of mistaken identity.”
Well, that’s been our life for the past week. Although, I wouldn’t exactly call it a terrible case of mistaken identity… I’d probably call it a ‘not so’ terrible case of mistaken identity. Get it… not so terrible case… not so secret life… Okay, I’ll carry on.
So it all started one morning. Jesse woke us up, like normal. Well, I’m still on holidays so Jesse woke Renee up, like normal. And I slept in, like normal. Renee and Jesse came in to wake me up, like normal. We had breakfast, like normal. Jesse was glued to ABC Kids, like normal. Renee started telling me about how we had gotten a sh*t tonne of likes on our Facebook page overnight, not like normal.
Hang on, what’s happened here? Not only were we getting all these new likes on our Facebook page, but they were coming from all over the world. Canada. USA. Germany. Brazil. Mexico. UK.
We couldn’t figure it out. Then we got this inbox message to our Facebook page from one of our new likes, “OMG, I loved your blog about parent sex.”
And then the penny dropped.
Okay, so you may have read this little post about ‘parent sex’ recently. You know, just a little post. Nothing too major. A funny little ditty about trying to sneak in a quickie while the kids are occupied.
Oh who am I kidding… the SUPER ULTRA MEGA VIRAL POST 
about ‘parent sex’! Insert ‘jealous that we didn’t come up with said post’ emoji here ->
So… as I was saying. This ‘parent sex’ post went mega viral just this past week, so much so that nearly every news network on the internet, worldwide, picked up the story and reported on it. News.com.au, Huffington Post, Tech Insider, Essential Baby, Pop Sugar, The Guardian, Lad Bible, The Sun, The Daily Mail… You name it, they reported on it.
Well, it turns out that the author of the parent sex post, has a blog on WordPress called… wait for it… ‘The not so secret life of us’. And it also turns out, that all the articles that have been written about this post have mentioned said blog. And it also happens, that our blog has a very similar name, ‘Not So Secret Life Of Us’ (there’s no ‘the’ at the beginning).
Well, after receiving that message over Facebook, we decided to head to Google to type in “the not so secret life of us blog” to see what happens. And as it turns out, our blog (what you’re reading right now) and our Facebook page turn up in the top 3 results.
So as a result of all these articles, our Facebook likes have increased by over 100 in the past week… Alas, our not so terrible case of mistaken identity.
The funny thing is, we constantly brain storm ideas for our blog posts, and one of the things that we always talk about is how great it would be for one of them to go viral. Well, it turns out that we went viral without even lifting a finger. How funny is that!!!
Now I know what you’re probably thinking… How dare you piggy back off someone else’s work? Well, while we may be receiving some benefits of this small case of mistaken identity, the actual authors Facebook page has risen by tens of thousands of likes, so the measly 100 that we’ve picked up, is hardly a blip on the radar.
We also wrote a post on our Facebook page letting people know that we weren’t the authors of the parent sex blog, and linking the actual author in the post too.
So as far as all these new likes go, we are happy to take them… and we can only hope that they see value in the posts we write and the content we produce.
So after all that, and after the likes on our page have trickled back to a a few new ones a day now, all I can say is… Renee and I are off to have some parent sex of our own.
Oh, and if you haven’t read the original parent sex post, check it out on the authors Facebook page here.
Before we got sucked into the void that was Christmas and New Year’s we recorded Jesse’s six month milestones video.
We reckon it was our hardest month yet that we’ve experienced as parents. There were tears and tantrums a plenty and that was just from us!
There was a leap, teething, bottle refusal, cluster feeds, night waking (more so than usual) and a screaming match before bed almost every night.
But, we made it through. Check out the video below.
What kept you sane during the tough months?
And we’re back!
We kind of fell off the radar for a while there amongst the Christmas and New Year black hole. Those two weeks where you don’t even know what day of the week it is and you wind up eating and drinking waaaay too much!
So here’s a little catch up…
Jesse’s first Christmas was so enjoyable. He received loads of pressies from family and friends though he mostly just enjoyed eating the wrapping paper! He got an extra special gift on Christmas morning… the most adorable, (and sharp!) little, white toothy-peg peering up from his bottom gum.
We followed that up with our annual New Year’s trip to the Bunya Mountains. We basically ate ourselves stupid for 5 days and enjoyed the company of some family in one of the many beautiful houses there. See what we got up to here.
Let me just say, staying up until midnight to greet the new year is certainly a lot more difficult these days. Perhaps the last seven months of broken sleep and a significant decrease in alcohol intake has something to do with it!
Despite that though, we did manage to ring in 2016 and it is shaping up to be an incredible year.
We have already kicked off the year with some spring cleaning (is it still called that if it is in 30 degree summer heat?) at home starting with our home office. After it being the place I spent eight hours a day for the last five years working as a business consultant (before becoming a Mum), I will not be returning to my job next month as we had originally planned.
Instead I will be embarking on an exciting new venture with Jesse as my business partner. More on that to come but we are very excited and for us as a family, it feels like one of those opportunities that crops up at just the right time and though completely different to the original plan, ends up being a perfect fit.
We also have some big plans for NSSLOU this year too. We thank you so much for supporting us so far. With so much content on the interweb we really do appreciate you taking the time to read our little diddies and share your personal experiences and words of encouragement with us.
When we started this project we wanted to create something unique. A space to not only share our parenting experiences but also bring together all elements of our life: parenthood, married life, work, fun, travel and adventure as a collective that is the ‘Not So Secret Life Of Us’. In the hopes that we might be able to bring a little bit of sunshine to your day, make you laugh (or cry) and maybe provide us all with a little bit of comfort that we aren’t the only ones when it comes to life’s many twists and turns. So hopefully we are doing that and can continue to as we embark on the second half of our first year as parents.
We are so excited for the year ahead. We hope in amongst all the festive season fun you too have found some time to reflect on the year that was and plan for 2016. Give yourself permission to dream up some weird and wonderful goals for the year and make it your best year yet!
Happy New Year!
So we decided to get out and about with Jesse last night. Mostly for some Christmas shopping, but also to get the obligatory ‘baby with Santa’ shot.
And so here it is… Jesse with Santa. Looking up at him wondering who he is exactly.
It was actually pretty cute seeing him on Santa’s knee for the first time in his life. And despite all our and the staff’s efforts to get his attention, he just wouldn’t cooperate with a smile or a glimpse in our direction.
Santa’s beard is just too interesting!
We had a bit of a chuckle about it afterwards and also thought hey, at least he wasn’t screaming in full tantrum mode like some babies in their photo with Santa.
The start of another Christmas tradition.
There are many tell-tale signs that you have become a parent. Some are obvious. Yes, that small human being that’s constantly hanging around you now is your child. And some that may have happened subtly over time. Like the increase of toys scattered on the lounge room floor and the ever-growing dark circles under your eyes.
We have certainly noticed a lot of changes in our lives since becoming parents. And we’re only six months in!
So here’s what I’ve found.
You know you’re a parent when…
And, for good measure, number 11 is that despite all this you wouldn’t have it any other way. Even on the toughest days a smile, giggle or cuddle from the small human makes being a parent totally awesome.
A friend said to me recently that of all the people she knows who have children, none of them have ever said ‘Oh, don’t do it, it’s not really worth it’.
I was oddly comforted as I realised she was right. I too have never heard any parents say it wasn’t worth it.
So while it might be bloody hard at times, anything worth doing usually is.
In the past, both on this blog and in general conversation with people we know, we have often talked about how Jesse is a really cruisy baby. And about how lucky we have been because he’s such a happy baby.
“Nah, he hardly ever cries”, we would say. “He’s a pretty chilled baby”.
Well, all that has changed. Our once chilled, happy, easy going baby has turned into a restless, upset, cranky, screaming bubba that is often hard to settle. The culprit? Based on all the evidence we have and research we’ve undertaken, the most likely explanation is that he is starting to go through teething.
So with that, I would like to say that this past week of parenting for us, has been hard. Hard because after becoming accustomed to having such a happy, well behaved baby for the better part of the past 6 months, it has been a little difficult coming to terms with and adjusting to a baby that is cranky and unsettled a lot of the time.
But while it has been hard for us both, it has been especially hard for Renee. When you are a stay-at-home mum and have a baby that demands your full attention for so much of the day and night, it can start to take its toll. But Renee has soldiered on. Being a pillar of support for Jesse and also being a rock for me when I get stressed. And for this reason, words can’t even begin to express my gratitude toward Renee for this.
That said, there is one (huge) thing that both Renee and I need to consider and reflect on. And that is that Jesse is not doing this just for the hell of it. He is not putting us through our paces as parents just because he feels like it. Jesse is genuinely upset, unhappy, and in pain.
When he is uncontrollably crying and just won’t settle down no matter what we try. It’s because he is in discomfort and in pain.
When he keeps waking up every couple of hours during the night because he is unsettled. It’s because he just wants a cuddle and to be comforted.
When he won’t settle in my arms no matter what I do, but will stop crying when he gets his mummy. I need to realise that it’s not that he doesn’t like me. It’s just that he wants his mummy at that moment. Mostly I think, because mummy has the boobs.
And when he won’t take his bottle no matter how many different ways we try to give it to him. It’s because his gums are sensitive and hurt. But taking comfort in knowing that he is still getting nourishment through puree’s and mummy’s boobs.
We know that babies have limited communication skills. So when it comes to communicating with mums and dads, the only thing babies can really do is cry. And for this reason, we do know that for the moment, the constant crying and unsettled nature is just his way of communicating that something is just not quite right.
I will at this point say this. We aren’t naive about the struggles of having a newborn. We are well aware that there will be parents out there that have had unsettled babies since they were born. Babies with colic. Babies with reflux. The fact that we are going through this rough patch isn’t even a blip compared to what some parents go through with their own babies.
And these parents in our eyes, deserve to be commended. We can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like to have a baby that cries all the time. You must be super parents to be able to navigate your way through the days with a constantly unsettled bubba.
I hereby dub you ‘Super Mum’ and ‘Super Dad’! High five!
I know that the mere fact we have had such a happy and healthy baby leading up to this dreaded teething period has been an absolute blessing. And really, in the grand scheme of things, we really don’t have anything to complain about. And despite the fact that he is going through an unsettled period, he still does give us glimpses of his usual self (happy go lucky Jesse), he is healthy, and he is still bloody cute.
But it’s still tough… Being first time parents and never experiencing this before, ever, and trying to get a grasp of and work through this rough period with Jesse is tough. But I have absolute faith that together, as a unit, we are strong and will work through it and come out the other side with an even happier baby than we had before.
And to all my fellow mums and dads out there (especially the first timers)… we got this! We can do this! And if there is only one thing that you get from this post, I hope it’s that you are not alone in your struggles! Everyone goes through rough patches.
So let’s support each other and get through this together!
We got this!
It is probably a little taboo to talk about breastfeeding in a negative way. And I’m in no way intending to disrespect those that are unable to for whatever reason.
So let me just say I love breastfeeding my baby and feel incredibly lucky that I’ve been able to do so (read about my breastfeeding story here). But there are certainly a few things that I won’t miss when the time comes for us to move on from it.
Things like:
Having said that there are some things I definitely will miss.
Things like:
I know that when that last feed happens, though I probably won’t know its the last feed at the time, that I will no doubt feel a bit sad that its over. But there is part of me that won’t mind to have my body back, be able to let ‘the girls’ roam free if I feel and be able to wear a dress again (one that doesn’t require buttons or the ability to slip down).
not so secret life of us 