Category: Stay at home mum

Our Breastfeeding Journey: Part III

Renee BartonLeave a comment

I think its over. After nearly 11 months I think my breastfeeding journey with Jesse is coming to an end.

And yes, I am sad about it. I never really understood the emotional part of stopping until recently. But I’m also really  happy and proud that we were able to do it for this long.

When I last shared about my breastfeeding experiences Jesse was 5 months old and I was hoping to keep going for at least one more month. And here we are another 5 months later.

Breast feeds have become less and less frequent over the last few months, so about two weeks ago we decided to start weaning from night feeds and start encouraging Jesse to take a bottle through the night instead. This was mostly because he was waking up so many times during the night to comfort feed that I needed to do something. Within a few days it had worked and I was then just offering once through the day; more so because I wasn’t quite ready to stop yet. But it has now been several days since our last feed so I am coming to terms with it being over for good now.

I could feel the end was near so I made sure I treasured those few minutes a day together over the last couple of weeks. And I’m embracing the fact that my baby is no longer a baby and will soon be turning one. Oh my!

Now that I’m at the final stages, I have loved breastfeeding my son so much. It was such a special time together and often times the only thing that would soothe him. Whether it be sore gums from teething, a tummy ache or a bad dream. It was Mummy and her magic boobs to the rescue.

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But there were times when I was so tired and felt so touched out that it really was one of the most challenging parts of being a new mum. There are many things I will miss about breastfeeding but also several that I won’t. I am also really excited to wear normal bras again. Normal clothes again. And not be the only one that can get up to him through the night! Yay!

Let’s face it though, I probably still will.

So until next time, that is the end of breastfeeding for me. It has been lovely. And hard. And beautiful. And exhausting.

And I wouldn’t change a thing.

A Mother’s Promise

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I read a story recently that has continued to impact on me and challenge me since reading it.

The story was of one mum’s promise to go to her baby when he cried for her no matter how tired or touched out she was, as the result of learning a heartbreaking reality for babies in an African orphanage.

She recounted the experience of a friend who had visited an orphanage and had been struck by how quiet one of the rooms was despite having over 100 babies in it. When they asked how so many babies could be so quiet the response was that they’ve realised no one is coming for them when they cry so they just don’t any more.

Uh. Cue heart break.

Straight away I related to this woman’s promise to her baby to go to him. That’s the kind of mum I want to be I thought to myself. I felt so sad at the thought of a little baby crying for their mother that would never come to them.

That night as I heard Jesse stir through the monitor for the fourth time since putting him down I threw back the covers and whispered into the darkness “damn it, Jesse”.

Doesn’t he know I’m tired? Doesn’t he know that I can’t take many more nights like this?

As I stepped into the hallway hearing his cry getting more desperate, I felt a pang of guilt and the story came flooding back to me.

No. He doesn’t know I’m in the other room praying for more than a couple of hours of sleep in a row. All he knows is its dark, he’s alone and he wants me to comfort him.

The same battle plays out through the day as he constantly climbs up my leg begging to be cuddled only to want to be put down again moments later. And then up again. And then down again.

My patience wears thin. But what about that promise to go to him no matter what? What about those silent babies who’ve given up on waiting for someone to come to them.

Goodness me. Being a parent really is a mind f*** isn’t it!

I was going to finish the post there feeling there wasn’t much else left to say when something beautiful happened.

I scooped up a begging Jesse into my arms for the hundredth time and read back this post aloud the way I always do before publishing it. And almost as if he knew what I needed, Jesse reached out, turned my face towards his and pressed his open mouth against mine. I was expecting an enthusiastic poke in the eye or finger shoved in my mouth but this was so much better. So gentle, so loving.

And just like that my love tank is full again.

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How to sh*t your pants!

Renee BartonLeave a comment

My home, my safe haven, my castle came under threat recently. I have never experienced being really, truly afraid in my own home. Until now.

Picture this, its a normal Monday. Husband is at work and I’m at home with nearly 10 month old Jesse. It is early afternoon and he has awoken hungry from his nap. As we are sitting down on his play mat, he in his chair and me feeding him, I hear a rustling noise. A kind of noise that I had heard a few times already today and put down to the cat knocking something over as she sometimes does. But as I look toward the direction of the sound I realise that it is most definitely not the cat.

I look across the room and see a snake slithering along our dining room floor.

Well…cue me losing my shit! Instant panic. I immediately grabbed Jesse out of his chair, gripped him tight and backed away. Now this in itself is usually a pretty fiddly job. Wipe his hands and face while he squirms in protest, remove the tray, take off his bib, undo the harness, pry him from the chair. But on this occasion I whipped him out in seconds, food still all over his face and bib still on.

I noticed my breathing started to get erratic as a million thoughts ran through my head. It’s probably just a tree snake. But it could be brown. Who cares what colour it is, its a frickin’ snake! I need to protect my baby. Where’s my phone. What do I do?

My instinct is to just get the hell out of there but a voice in my head tells me that if I go outside I won’t know where the snake goes. I reach to grab my phone off the kitchen bench and immediately ring Kaine. Now, I know he’s at work and he can’t do anything but he’s my person so I ring him.

I’m basically hyperventilating as I explain to him what is going on. I tell him I don’t know what kind of snake it is and that I just want to get out of the house. Meanwhile the snake is taunting me as it weaves in and out between the vertical blinds on our lounge room window. Each time its head peaks out and stares at me I squeal and that prickly feeling goes through my body as the adrenaline shoots through me.

Despite my logical voice telling me to keep an eye on the snake, my emotional voice and the mum in me won out and we headed swiftly out the front door. It’s hot. Jesse is heavy and started to get a bit freaked out. For his sake I try to calm down.

After a bit of googling Kaine sends me some numbers for snake removers. I kept thinking if only my brother or dad were nearby they would be able to help but they were both at work too.

So I ring the first number and he tells me he can be here in 20 minutes but I have to go back in and watch the snake. Go and stand in the room and block it in he says. Yeah right!

I sneak back in the front door while still on the phone to him. I scan the room. Aggghhhh! I see it, I see it. It’s still in the same place. Oh, its climbing up the wall (which Kaine says later is impossible because snakes don’t have sticky feet!). It slithers along the top of the window. And its big, at least a metre long.

My hero (the slightly rude yet somehow still comforting snake remover) tells me he’s in the car and on his way. Just then the snake falls from his perch (perhaps they don’t have sticky feet). I squeal again. Shit, I’ve lost sight of it. Mr Snake remover will be most unimpressed with me but there’s no way I’m going any closer to investigate his whereabouts.

20 agonising minutes later I hear a knock at the door. I recount the last 20 minutes to him. I haven’t seen it in a while but I’m pretty sure it is still in the lounge area. He proceeds to pull our lounge room apart. Just then I edge into the room a little further.

“I see it! I see it!” I yelled. “It’s in the kitchen.”

“So… it wasn’t in the lounge room” is all he said rather condescendingly. Followed by “yep, just a tree snake, look at this cute fella.”

I didn’t care, he found the snake and was taking it away. That’s all I needed to know.

Immediately seeing it in his hands though it seemed far less of a threat than it had when it was creeping through my home. My castle.

Having had some time to reflect I now feel a bit silly for my OTT reaction, but I couldn’t help it. If it happened to be a venomous snake, I would have had to do everything I could to protect my baby, and myself.

But in the end, even though it was a $95 call out fee, and even though it was only a tree snake, it’s a small price to pay for peace of mind.

Life Lessons From My 9 Month Old

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There are a lot of things that can fall by the wayside when you have a baby. When most of your time in the early days is spent feeding and staring at your new baby and if you’re lucky, getting a bit of sleep, things like finding a few minutes to read a book drop down your priority list pretty quickly. In fact, just the thought of reading is enough to make your sleep deprived eyes sting and want to fall out of your head!

But my darling is no longer a newborn and it’s definitely time to pick back up some of the good habits I had BC (before children). I never wanted my family to be an excuse for an average life but rather my reason for striving for a great one.

I set a goal recently to recommit to my personal development and have kicked off by re-reading The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson. It’s a  great read about how those small daily habits that lead to success are easy to do but they are also easy not to do. And that we are never just coasting through life, we are either improving and heading towards success or sliding and moving further away from it. The Slight Edge is either working for us or against us all the time.

During my few minutes of nightly reading before my eyes burned for closure last night I read a passage entitled ‘baby steps’. It highlighted something that has been in the back of my mind recently as I watch Jesse explore his new world now that he can crawl and climb and experiment with his new-found independence. It was about how all babies are successful.

They are not perturbed one little bit by all the times they fall down when learning to master standing and eventually walking. They just get back up and try again. Most of the time not even really being phased by it or noticing that they’ve failed.

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I watch Jesse as he constantly works on mastering his new skills and I can’t help but think what we could achieve as adults if we approached things the same way babies do. If we knew we couldn’t fail. I’m yet to meet an adult who still crawls because walking was just too hard and falling down all the time was painful and humiliating.  They just work at it little by little each day and before you know it you’re running after them.

All babies are masters; we’re designed that way. All babies instinctively understand the Slight Edge.

So it got me thinking about all the life lessons my Bub has taught me so far…

1. Push the boundaries. When someone says no, turn around and flash them a big cheeky grin before going right back to doing the thing they said you cannot do.

2. When you see your reflection in the mirror love what you see. Smile your biggest smile and thrash your arms and legs around with glee. You are special, unique and gooooorgeous!

3. Sometimes you just need a cuddle from your mum. And she’ll be there with open arms even if its only been 5 minutes since the last time you needed one.

4. Squish some food in your hands before you eat it. Just because…

5. Smile at strangers. It just might make their day.

6. Explore your world like you’re seeing everything for the first time. It’s awesomeness might surprise you.

7. Play. Laugh. Dance. Clap. Life is too short to be serious all the time.

8. If you fall, get back up. If you fall again, get back up. Eventually you’ll master your new skill.

What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?

Take a baby step towards your dream everyday and the Slight Edge will do the rest.

x

Footage Friday: 8 Month Milestones

Renee BartonLeave a comment

Last month saw our little man go from ‘baby’ to crawler within a matter of days.

He is now exploring, climbing and getting into mischief at every opportunity. Don’t turn away for a minute because when you turn back he’ll be gone (or climbing up your leg).

His toys don’t seem quite so fun any more now that he can reach things he’s not allowed to play with (blinds, cords, draws, playstation, the cat, the bin….you get the idea).

Photo Friday: Mum and bub cool off in the pool

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With only a few days of Summer left there is no sign of it cooling down any time soon.

After a particularly hot and sweaty morning of Kangatraining, Jesse and I headed over to Nanny’s to test out the new baby pool she bought him.

We pulled it out of the box, pumped it up and promptly heard a loud hissing sound. Brand new and it had a hole in it! Not be be deterred, mum pulls out the sticky tape and in a ‘Big Hero 6’ like manner we taped up the hole and headed outside to fill it up.

Jesse and I had a lovely time cooling down and having a splash together.

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Cool things about being a mum I didn’t expect

Renee BartonLeave a comment

Having a baby is wonderful (mostly). Watching them grow and change day by day. Those sleepy snuggles and that new baby smell. Being someone’s mummy really is incredible.

But aside from the obvious cool things about being a Mama there are a few bonus things I wasn’t expecting.

Friends and family falling over backwards to do things for you

At least in the early days, those first few weeks post birth, people treat a new mum like a queen. And rightly so. We can ask for just about anything and husband, family members and friends will go out of their way to make it happen.

I don’t think I had to cook a meal for about two weeks after giving birth. I was living out my dream. All because of a joke (sort of) that if people wanted to visit baby they had to bring food. I’m keen to go for round two just for that perk alone! I was also delivered coffee on a regular basis and wasn’t expected to do anything else other than look after my newborn baby. Showering and changing out of pyjamas were completely optional (though I did manage to do both most days if just for my own sanity).

The holy grail that is parents with prams parking

Pulling into one of these for the first time is quite the novelty. And you soon find yourself disappointed when they’re all full. Or worse yet, there’s someone parked there with no obvious signs of a baby. No sun shade on the window or car seat in the back.

What’s the big deal? It’s just a car park right? Well yes, but when it saves you from circling a practically full car park with a crying baby in the back its life-changing. And its close to the door. Enough said.

No more waiting lines for the toilet

Babies can be great shopping companions (once mine got over his loathing of car trips). They don’t complain about all the stores we go into or how long it takes for us to decide which design of Bonds Wonder-suit to buy.

But no shopping trip with a baby is complete without a visit (or 3) to the parents room. While there’s nothing really special about a room smelling of dirty nappies the bonus is no more waiting in long lines for the ladies room. Hooray!! While feeding and changing bub, we can duck to the loo, no waiting. Though I have found myself using a kiddie size toilet on a couple of occasions. What’s with some parent rooms not having a regular sized one as well??

How easy it is to make a new friend

Making friends as a kid was relatively easy and for some adults it still is but I always found it tricky. But since becoming a mum I have found it so much easier to break the ice with another mum. Conversation seems to come so much easier when you instantly have something in common.

I had heard so many horror stories of mums being awful to each other and criticising parenting styles that differ from their own. And while I know that it does go on I must admit that I have only come in contact with other mummies that are supportive and respectful. I’ve also been so fortunate as to make some genuine connections with some wonderful women. I used to bang on about how awful the ‘mum club’ is but for the most part it is an association I’m proud to have.

That amazing feeling when his little arms reach out for mummy

We hear those horror stories about never (ever) being alone again once you have children and not even being able to pee in peace. But it is pretty amazing when those little, squishy arms reach out for you deliberately for the first time.

And though it can sometimes be frustrating when you’re feeling a little touched out from a long day with a velcro baby, it is pretty wonderful to feel that the love your baby has for you is as strong as your love for him.

To the world you are one, but to one you are the world.

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I Am Woman, Hear Me Kick Butt

Renee BartonLeave a comment

Recently I have found myself being amazed and inspired by all of the strong women I have crossed paths with.

I’m not surprised by any means that the world is full of amazing, talented, strong women. But since I began my Kangatraining journey, I have been exposed to more of them than usual.

During the week long course in Melbourne a few weeks ago I was struck by the diversity and talent among the nine other attendees as well as the presenters, all experts in their fields.

Among the other mums, some of whom I was lucky enough to connect with on a personal level (it’s so hard to make friends as an adult!), there were some incredibly smart and capable women. From backgrounds including teaching, engineering and medical professions we all had one thing in common. An overwhelming desire to be with our babies. Not one of them saw becoming a Kanga Instructor as a ‘step down’ but rather as an opportunity.

I know I certainly see it that way. As well as all the obvious perks of being able to have my baby with me while I work, it also scratches my entrepreneurial itch.

I have been wowed by other entrepreneurial women as I met with the owners of venues for my classes. Again they were strong, smart and talented women kicking butt in the business world.

I think even now, especially among men, a woman creating a small business is seen as just that; ‘small’. But I assure you it is anything but! With the stats about small business proving that many fail in the first few years, it proves the hard slog that is, starting and building a successful small business.

And I must say, mums are nailing it. There is nothing like the dread of leaving our little ones way before we are ready to get the creative juices flowing. And now our world is full of awesome ‘mum-preneurs’ kicking some epic butt. And my amazing mum is no exception. She has been running a successful home-based business for as long as I can remember. And although it hasn’t always been smooth sailing, sometimes she needed to hold a job on the side, she has never quit when the going got tough! My sister has also started a successful small business and now my sister-in-law is going into business for herself. Goes to show what a good example can do!

Women kicking butt

The best part is that even if you have the desire to go into business but have absolutely no idea what to do, there are loads of successful platforms out there already that you can tap into.

Anyhow, I digress. My point is, women are awesome (as are the men that support them)! So thank you to all the wonderful women out there for inspiring me.

Keep kickin’ butt!

x

A New Year, A New Adventure

Renee BartonLeave a comment

It’s hard to believe but the first month of 2016 is almost over. I know, right!

It may seem like the year has taken off and left you somewhere around December 27th last year but don’t fret. It’s not too late to plan your year and get back on track. Don’t let another year just slip by leaving you wondering when time started to go by so quickly.

Already, this year is not what I had expected. After 9 months of maternity leave I should have been returning to my job this week but instead I am embarking on a new adventure and starting my own business as a licensed Kangatraining Instructor. The successful boutique consulting company I worked with for the last five years are closing their doors to allow for it’s people to pursue other opportunities. Including me.

As fate would have it, I had already started down the Kangatraining path and was planning to do both part time when I found out there wasn’t going to be a job for me to return to. Strangely enough I didn’t freak out. I strongly believe in the mantra ‘everything happens for a reason’. And thankfully I have a super supportive husband who also didn’t freak out and has been nothing but positive and encouraging.

I have found that women don’t need the support of their man to be successful, but it sure bloody helps! Guys, you might think your lady is a super star capable of anything she sets her mind to, but have you told her that lately?

Anyway, as I type this I am gearing up to take my instructor exams and putting in place all the finer details to get this new adventure up and running. And I can’t help thinking about how often thin threads can completely change our direction in life.

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One minute I am spending 40 hours a week sitting in my home office in front of a computer screen… okay, let me digress for a minute and address some of the working from home questions that have no doubt popped up in your mind…

Yes, I worked from home. Yes, I often worked in my pyjamas. No, I never worked nude or whilst in bed. And yes, I may or may not have taken the odd afternoon siesta on the lounge, particularly while pregnant. And while I’m on the topic of working from home, whenever I talked about returning to work after having a baby everyone would say “oh but you work from home, how convenient, you won’t need day care”. Seriously?? I don’t know about all of you other mums out there but I can barely get my hair brushed or the dishes done let alone have a productive work day when home with my baby.

Now, where was I… Oh yes, one minute I’m spending 40 hours a week in front of a computer screen (working very hard), the next I have a baby who requires my attention around the clock and doesn’t like it very much when I sleep and now I’m about to become a fitness instructor (I know, I can’t say it with a straight face yet) where I get to play with mummies and bubbies and live out my dream of being a (sort of) dance teacher.

I feel so lucky to have found something that allows me to be with my baby whilst contributing to our household finances AND combines my love of dance and fitness with my passion for baby wearing and helping other mamas.

So, my point is (if in fact there is one amongst all of this sleep deprived rambling) if January has slipped past you, stop right now and set yourself a goal for February. As big or as small as you like. But don’t let this next month be just another 28 (or is it 29?) days of the year. It is never too late to change direction… get back on the wagon… or insert other witty cliché here.

Dare to dream

x