I Think You Are A Super Mum

August 30, 2015 Kaine BartonLeave a comment

Last Sunday night was another rough night for Renee as far as sleep goes.

Unfortunately for us (although I’m sure Jesse loved it), our little man had a massive sleep that afternoon while we were at a family BBQ. This meant that when it came time for us to get some sleep, he was any combination of wide awake; restless; feeding; smiling; crying.

This made for a very frustrating start to what I expected to be a long night ahead for Renee.

We have a system for night times which seems to work for us most of the time. That system involves Renee getting up throughout the night to tend to Jesse (she does have the boobs after all) so that I can get a good night sleep for work the next day, and me tending to Jesse (again, when he’s not hungry and wanting to feed on account of having no boobs) when I get home and on the weekends.

This does mean however, as you would have read in Renee’s last blog post, that she hasn’t had a full nights sleep since Jesse was born.

I know she had a rough night on that Sunday night, and the next day I really wanted to let her know that she could call on me if she was at wits end and just needed a break or some sleep.

At around 10 am on Monday morning, I sent the following text message:

“Hey babe. So are you sure you’re ok today?

I just really want to stress to you that while I do appreciate how you want to make sure I get enough sleep for work, I would rather be sleepy at work for a day than have you up losing your shit at night with Jesse.

I think you’re an absolute star and a super mum, but if you’re struggling and at wits end, I am here. I WANT to help. You don’t have to do it all by yourself. That’s my role and responsibility as a dad!

Love you.”

I received a text message back minutes later telling how much just some simple words like that really meant. She went on further to say:

“You are such a great dad. In fact, everyone says what a great dad you are. I dont often get told that I am doing a good job so thank you for saying that.”

So I am here today, writing this down, to tell you that you are not just doing a good job… you are doing a phenomenal job as a new mum to our little Jesse.

Super Mum

I know you don’t hear it enough. From me or from others. And for that I am sorry.

But I am here, now, telling you that to me, you are Superwoman! And I promise to remember to tell you more often, just how good of a job you are doing!

You are our super mum!

Photo Friday: We Love the Gympie Music Muster

August 28, 2015 Kaine BartonLeave a comment

If you are like us, there will be one or two events that come up every year that you simply can’t miss. And for us, one of those events is the Gympie Music Muster!

If you love music, food, festivals and camping, The Gympie Music Muster is the place to be. And you don’t have to be a country music fan as there really is something for everyone.

We have been going for years and years now, and every year it seems to get better and better.

This year however, is a little different to previous years. Different, because we have our little Jesse with us.

This is our first time camping (well, you could say “glamping” considering we have a pop-top caravan) with a baby. Something that we thought we prepared very well for.

So how is it going? Have we survived so far? Well… you will just have to wait until we get back for us to release our usual ‘Muster Vlogs’ showing what exactly we got up to this year at the Gympie Music Muster.

In the meantime however, if you would like an idea of what the Gympie Music Muster is like from our perspective, below is the three part video series we filmed last year.

Enjoy…

The Big Sleep Obsession

August 26, 2015 Renee Barton1 Comment

When you become a parent, in particular a mum, you become incredibly aware of sleep.

You are either doing it, wishing you were doing it, thinking about doing it or talking about doing it.

Everything is now being weighed up against sleep.

Housework or sleep?

Exercise or sleep?

Sex or sleep?

Sleep will usually trump just about everything else. But often you just want to get some things done or simply enjoy a few minutes to yourself to just lie on the couch and stare stupidly into space (there’s not enough brain power to read all those books I thought I’d catch up on during my maternity leave!).

Watching your baby sleep is both delightful and frustrating. It’s 7.30 pm and he is sleeping. I should really go to bed too. But then BAM… suddenly it’s 9 pm and he’s awake and hungry. Or worse, happy and wanting to play! Damn it, was it really worth staying awake to watch some crappy TV show or do the dishes? I could have had an hours’ sleep!

I’ve now gone 3 months without a solid nights sleep. And I definitely underestimated the concept of sleep deprivation. The last night I slept through was the 25th May. And had I have known it would be my last I would have taken notice and really took pleasure in it.

But that is just life with a baby right. I always knew that would be the case. I’ve missed the odd night of sleep due to a big night of partying and I survived that fine. This will be a piece of cake. No ‘job’ to get up for so I’ll just go with the flow and sleep when I can…

Well that’s all well and good in theory but I’ve come to realise it is really f#*%ing annoying to be woken up 3 times a night, our bodies are not built to do that. And you go through your days with a foggy brain which only gets worse. Some days I really wonder if I should be operating a vehicle!

Sleep Post

Other people are now suddenly obsessed with mine and my babies sleep habits too. Any conversation usually includes “so is he a good sleeper?”

My answer is always yes. But what does that even mean? I say yes because at least I’m getting some sleep. Two hour blocks has now increased to 3-4 hour blocks most nights. And when I get 5 in a row I feel like a new woman!

Then comes the obsession with the elusive ‘sleeping through’ phenomenon. When is my baby going to do it? Her baby is two months younger and is already doing it. Am I ever going to sleep like a normal person (aka my husband) again?

For the most part of the last 3 months we have co-slept. Not something I thought I would do but worked for us and has kept us sane. But I’m now ready to reclaim our bed and sleep comfortably again.

Jesse is not a fan of the bassinet so it looks as though we are going to attempt to move him straight to his cot in his own room. Eek!

Wish us luck!

What are your tips for getting baby to sleep on their own or moving to their cot?

Our Baby’s Milestones: Terrified of Missing Out

August 23, 2015 Kaine Barton2 Comments

It is Monday morning on August 10, 2015. It is 9:50 am.

My iPhone buzzes on my desk beside me. The buzzing sound that is all too familiar to me now. It is letting me know that someone has sent me a text message.

I unlock my iPhone and as I click into my Messages app, a video pops up on my screen. A video that Renee has sent me of our little Jesse. The video that you can see below.

It’s not the first time I’ve received a video or photo of Jesse from Renee, and I know it won’t be the last. And I will say this… I love getting sneaky little text message or Snapchat updates from Renee showing me what they are getting up to throughout the day. I actually really look forward to it, receiving photos and videos, so I can see our little Jesse while I am at work.

However, after receiving the video of Jesse from Renee on that Monday morning, something really terrified me. And that something has been constantly pulling at the back of my mind ever since receiving that video. Something that I haven’t been able to articulate, but will attempt to with this blog post.

I am absolutely terrified of missing out on important milestones in Jesse’s development and in his overall life.

Let me say this, I know that I’m not the only working dad/parent out there. And I know that I’m not the first, and certainly won’t be the last, to feel like this.

But that doesn’t make it any less real for me.

I was sitting there watching back the video of my first child, my son, my little Jesse smiling away and almost letting out his first giggle. I had a smile on my face from ear to ear and little tears were welling in my eyes at the pure joy I felt watching him smiling and being so happy. But then this wave of fear washed over me.

What if I’m not there for the time he let’s out his first little giggle? What if I’m not there the first time he laughs or to hear his first word? What if I’m not there when he rolls over for the first time? Crawls for first time? Takes his first steps?

Kaine and Jesse

I was terrified and angry and disappointed and sad, at the very real chance that I may not be there to witness some of these milestones. That I may be at work and have to watch his first giggle through the screen of an iPhone. Or that I may be held up on public transport and have to witness the first time he crawls on the screen of our laptop when I get home.

As far as milestones in the life of a baby, some of these might only be small ones. But to me, they’re all important. Jesse’s first giggle to me, is just as important as his first word. And the first time he rolls over is just as important as his first step.

Now I know that work is where I need to be right now. I know that I need to step up into the role of being the provider for our family. And I know that Renee is forever thankful that I have taken on this responsibility, as she has conveyed in her blog post ‘An Open Letter to Dads Returning to Work’.

But at the end of the day, even though I know I won’t entirely miss these milestones (that is the beauty of technology these days), I still can’t seem to shake that distant feeling of disappointment that I may very well not be there to witness some of them first hand. All I can say is that I am extremely thankful that we are in a position that has allowed us to extend Renee’s time away from work so that one of us will be there to witness and capture these amazing moments in Jesse’s life.

It makes me think however, that I feel sorry for all the new parents out there where both mum and dad had to return to work early. As there is a real possibility that they may both miss some of these special times in a baby’s life.

Like I mentioned earlier, I know that I’m not the only working dad/parent out there that has felt like this at one stage during parenthood, and I know I won’t be the last.

But maybe, just maybe… by writing down these thoughts someone, somewhere, might realise that they aren’t alone in feeling like this. Let’s all cherish the time we have with our children, because there will be moments that we will all inevitably miss out on.

Photo Friday: Baby Discovers His Hand

August 21, 2015 Renee BartonLeave a comment

One of the most thrilling parts of having a new baby is watching them grow, learn and discover.

Mr Jesse has recently discovered his fist….well the left one at least. Several times a day when his hand passes his face he gets fixated on it for minutes. Staring and studying it with immense fascination.

Discovering hand

It is such a joy to watch him discovering his body and the world around him. We look forward to seeing him learn to roll, sit up and all the other precious milestones that are no doubt just around the corner.

What are your favourite milestones to watch your baby achieving?

The Fourth Trimester: A Love Letter to My Son

August 19, 2015August 19, 2015 Renee Barton1 Comment

It is done. You are officially twelve weeks old. And it has been swell, my love.

After nine beautiful months, three trimesters, of growing you in my belly every day wondering what you would be like. We have now spent the fourth trimester, your first three months in the outside world, falling in love. And I for one am smitten.

kissing jesse

You are the sweetest little boy. I will cherish this special time we’ve had together forever. Our secret rendezvous in the middle of the night. Our delicious afternoon naps together. Carrying you close to my body making us both reminisce about those months you spent inside. And our morning snuggles in bed, my heart melting with every smile.

You have already grown so much. From a tiny, slippery bundle I could hold in my two palms to a chubby bouncing boy. The tiniest clothes were too big for you and now you are filling out your 000 outfits.

jesse outfit

When I felt you kicking in my tummy I knew we had a special connection. When I held you for the first time I knew I loved you. But now that I know you I know that my heart now lives outside my body. When you are sad and cry my heart aches like never before. And when you smile it sings.

These past 3 months haven’t been easy have they, my love. We have had some tough times together. I know you love it out here with us but it has been hard transitioning from the warm and cosy home in my tummy and sometimes you miss it. I miss it too.

Remember our second day together? You were so hungry and we were both learning what to do. We cried together that night in hospital but we made it through.

in hospital

I can’t promise that there won’t be more hard times ahead. But I can promise that we’ll be together so we’ll be alright.

My precious boy, thank you for choosing me to be your Mummy.

I love you.

Re-branding Not So Secret Life Of Us

August 16, 2015August 16, 2015 Kaine BartonLeave a comment

Ever since we first released our ‘Not So Secret Life Of Us’ project, I haven’t entirely been happy with our little watermark that we use for our photos and YouTube videos.

So with that in mind, I’ve been working tirelessly (well… not really… but I have been working most of the day) on a new logo and watermark design that both Renee and I are 100% happy with.

So with that said, I can happily say that I have finished the design, both Renee and I are really happy with it… and here it is.

From here on in, you will now be seeing this logo on all of the Not So Secret Life Of Us photos and YouTube videos, along with replacing the profile photo for our Facebook page.

As well as that, we will be printing up some stickers to help us promote our blog and promote this incredible journey we are on.

Let us know what you think of our new logo… and if you would like a sticker for your car, fridge, diary, husbands forehead… contact us through our Facebook page so we can send you some through the mail.

Again, thanks to everyone who has shown their support for this project.

Footage Friday: Smiley Bubba

August 14, 2015October 10, 2015 Renee BartonLeave a comment

We are waiting with bated breath to hear the delightful sound of Jesse’s first laugh.

He often shrieks with joy as he smiles and kicks his legs. And there have been a few times when he has smiled and had a little chuckle in his sleep but he is yet to let out a definite baby giggle.

Today’s Photo Friday is a cute video of our smiley bubba.

Mission Possible: Getting Out of the House with a Baby

August 12, 2015August 12, 2015 Renee BartonLeave a comment

Before having a baby I had heard parents complain about how difficult it was and how long it took to leave the house with a baby. And yes, now I know what they were talking about.

kaine heading out

Before baby, husband and I could be out the door within a few minutes of making the decision.

“Want to go out for lunch?”

“Sure!”

Freshen up, grab keys, wallet and phone and out the door we go.

Now it is a juggling act. I feed the baby while he gets ready then he changes the nappy and preps the gear while I get ready. By then it is time to feed again and after all that we might actually manage to throw everything in the car, buckle baby in his car seat and leave the house.

Phew… nap anyone??

In all seriousness though, I still firmly believe that, with a bit of patience and flexibility, it is possible (and important) to still be outgoing and enjoy a life outside the four walls of home.

So here are some of the things I’ve learned about venturing out of the house with a new baby.

Preparation is key. Always take more stuff than you think you will need including clothing, blankets, bottles and nappies.
Time your outings so that you leave straight after a feed. This way you can maximise time before the next feed is due, in theory anyway.
Try and avoid taking baby in and out of the car more than twice in one outing.
Breastfeed in public. It will feel really awkward at first. Much harder than simply whipping off your shirt and unashamedly popping your boob out when at home. It takes some practice to be able to juggle baby whilst trying to modestly unhook your bra and subtly hide your breast pad somewhere whilst getting bub to latch. And hey, if you happen to flash a bit of boob, try not to worry. It is natural, your baby is hungry and people should just get over it.
Even when using the pram always have a wrap or carrier handy just in case bub gets cranky and wants out.
When baby starts to get grizzly, it is time to go. Avoid being tempted by one more shop or one more errand as this will often lead to a screaming baby and stressed out mum on the ride home.
Enjoy being out. Having a baby doesn’t mean your social life has to end or that you need to be housebound. Getting out every so often will help you to appreciate those days at home endlessly feeding on the couch whilst watching Netflix.
If it all seems too hard, just try grabbing the pram or your favourite carrier and going for a walk around the block. The fresh air will do you both a world of good. Not to mention a little bit of exercise too.

So my question to you is, what are your tips and tricks for getting out of the house with your little ones?

How Do You Do Date Night?

August 9, 2015August 9, 2015 Kaine BartonLeave a comment

One of the things that we as a couple want to make sure we do, is to put aside and spend some quality time together. It is important in any marriage to spend time together. Especially after having kids.

One of the concepts we love, is date night. That one night every one or two weeks that we get to do something together, without Jesse.

We unofficially had our first date night just recently, after we took a trip to the wonderful Eat Street Markets. We did however, this time around, take Jesse with us. I think that’s because we are still in that stage of loving every single hour, minute, second that we spend with him. And because of that, we don’t mind taking him with us.

Eat Street Markets is a fabulous way to spend date night too. With so many different foods and cuisines on offer, live music and plenty of knick knacks to browse through, it’s definitely a place I see us visiting regularly for date night.