Our Biggest Parenting Challenge Yet

In the past, both on this blog and in general conversation with people we know, we have often talked about how Jesse is a really cruisy baby. And about how lucky we have been because he’s such a happy baby.

“Nah, he hardly ever cries”, we would say. “He’s a pretty chilled baby”.

Well, all that has changed. Our once chilled, happy, easy going baby has turned into a restless, upset, cranky, screaming bubba that is often hard to settle. The culprit? Based on all the evidence we have and research we’ve undertaken, the most likely explanation is that he is starting to go through teething.

So with that, I would like to say that this past week of parenting for us, has been hard. Hard because after becoming accustomed to having such a happy, well behaved baby for the better part of the past 6 months, it has been a little difficult coming to terms with and adjusting to a baby that is cranky and unsettled a lot of the time.

But while it has been hard for us both, it has been especially hard for Renee. When you are a stay-at-home mum and have a baby that demands your full attention for so much of the day and night, it can start to take its toll. But Renee has soldiered on. Being a pillar of support for Jesse and also being a rock for me when I get stressed. And for this reason, words can’t even begin to express my gratitude toward Renee for this.

That said, there is one (huge) thing that both Renee and I need to consider and reflect on. And that is that Jesse is not doing this just for the hell of it. He is not putting us through our paces as parents just because he feels like it. Jesse is genuinely upset, unhappy, and in pain.

When he is uncontrollably crying and just won’t settle down no matter what we try. It’s because he is in discomfort and in pain.

When he keeps waking up every couple of hours during the night because he is unsettled. It’s because he just wants a cuddle and to be comforted.

When he won’t settle in my arms no matter what I do, but will stop crying when he gets his mummy. I need to realise that it’s not that he doesn’t like me. It’s just that he wants his mummy at that moment. Mostly I think, because mummy has the boobs.

And when he won’t take his bottle no matter how many different ways we try to give it to him. It’s because his gums are sensitive and hurt. But taking comfort in knowing that he is still getting nourishment through puree’s and mummy’s boobs.

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We know that babies have limited communication skills. So when it comes to communicating with mums and dads, the only thing babies can really do is cry. And for this reason, we do know that for the moment, the constant crying and unsettled nature is just his way of communicating that something is just not quite right.

I will at this point say this. We aren’t naive about the struggles of having a newborn. We are well aware that there will be parents out there that have had unsettled babies since they were born. Babies with colic. Babies with reflux. The fact that we are going through this rough patch isn’t even a blip compared to what some parents go through with their own babies.

And these parents in our eyes, deserve to be commended. We can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like to have a baby that cries all the time. You must be super parents to be able to navigate your way through the days with a constantly unsettled bubba.

I hereby dub you ‘Super Mum’ and ‘Super Dad’! High five!

I know that the mere fact we have had such a happy and healthy baby leading up to this dreaded teething period has been an absolute blessing. And really, in the grand scheme of things, we really don’t have anything to complain about. And despite the fact that he is going through an unsettled period, he still does give us glimpses of his usual self (happy go lucky Jesse), he is healthy, and he is still bloody cute.

But it’s still tough… Being first time parents and never experiencing this before, ever, and trying to get a grasp of and work through this rough period with Jesse is tough. But I have absolute faith that together, as a unit, we are strong and will work through it and come out the other side with an even happier baby than we had before.

And to all my fellow mums and dads out there (especially the first timers)… we got this! We can do this! And if there is only one thing that you get from this post, I hope it’s that you are not alone in your struggles! Everyone goes through rough patches.

So let’s support each other and get through this together!

We got this!

6 Things I Won’t Miss About Breastfeeding (and 6 that I will)

It is probably a little taboo to talk about breastfeeding in a negative way. And I’m in no way intending to disrespect those that are unable to for whatever reason.

So let me just say I love breastfeeding my baby and feel incredibly lucky that I’ve been able to do so (read about my breastfeeding story here). But there are certainly a few things that I won’t miss when the time comes for us to move on from it.

Things like:

  1. Having to wear a bra 24/7 and being limited to nursing bras at that.
  2. Having to wear breast pads in said bras to avoid unsightly wet patches.
  3. Being limited to outfits that provide easy access to my boobs. I’m really looking forward to being able to wear the other 70% of my wardrobe!
  4. An inquisitive baby craning his neck to smile at his dad, or glimpse at his favourite TV show with nipple still in his mouth (ouch!).
  5. The 5 times a night feeds during his leaps.
  6. Being handed a cranky baby with the comment “I think he wants boob” (like its the magic cure for everything).

Having said that there are some things I definitely will miss.

Things like:

  1. That it is pretty much the magic cure for everything (from hunger to conjunctivitis…who knew!)
  2. The gentle strokes on my arm or breast or the foot that gently lands on my arm from a contented little boy as he feeds.
  3. Gorgeous cheeky grins as he looks up at me mid-feed, milk spilling from his smile.
  4. The convenience of being able to sleep whilst feeding throughout the night (we can regularly be found asleep in the nursing chair at 5am, boob out).
  5. Marvelling at how a body that once fit snug in the crook of one arm is now stretching over my entire lap.
  6. Being the only one who can provide that comforting feeling that breastfeeding brings for my son (though this can also take its toll when you feel like you haven’t left the couch in 4 days).

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I know that when that last feed happens, though I probably won’t know its the last feed at the time, that I will no doubt feel a bit sad that its over. But there is part of me that won’t mind to have my body back, be able to let ‘the girls’ roam free if I feel and be able to wear a dress again (one that doesn’t require buttons or the ability to slip down).

Footage Friday: 5 Month Milestones

We can’t quite believe that Jesse is six months old today. Happy half birthday little man!

This past month we have seen so many changes in him. He is getting so big and is learning new things every day.

He has found his feet and loves to grab them when laying down and try to put them in his mouth. And he has also found his voice and loves to test just how loud he can squeal.

Roll the tape…

 

Parenting: The Ultimate Test In Team Work

After kind of a rough morning, it is now Jesse’s nap time and all is quiet in the house.

For a moment I think about how I’d love to just flop on the couch, switch on some Netflix and just mentally recharge before round two. And then I look over to the kitchen and notice the bottles that need washing up. I then remember that load of baby clothes that’s still in the machine that need hanging up to dry. And my thoughts then turn to my next blog post which unfortunately isn’t going to write itself.

Nap time then becomes a mission to get as much done as humanly possible before he wakes up and the cycle starts again.

I tell you what… they are right when they say that being a mum is the most rewarding yet most difficult job in the world! But I wouldn’t have it any other way. As hard as it is on some days for the stay-at-home parent, it is equally as challenging for the one who’s at work all day.

On mornings like we had today, when Jesse is upset and crying for reasons that I can’t quite figure out, I not only have to soothe him, but I also find myself reassuring Kaine that everything is OK. This is partly my own fault, because he wouldn’t even know  if it weren’t for the fact I keep him up to date via text messages and Snapchats throughout the day.

It is mostly good news and cute pics. But when its not, I know that his natural ‘worry wart’ tendencies are even more exacerbated due to him not being able to be here to see or help Jesse first hand.

The plus side of having a partner to navigate this whole parenting maze with is that we balance each other out. If Kaine’s freaking out over something then I try to stay calm so that I can talk him down and be the voice of reason and positivity. And goodness knows he has had to talk me off a ledge a time or two as well. That said, it doesn’t always work out that way and there are occasions when we disagree or simply not know the right action to take.

Being married is one thing but raising a human with another person is the ultimate test in team work. Its no longer just about where the toothpaste tube gets squeezed from, which way the toilet paper goes on the holder or who hogs the sheets at night. We now have to work together to take care of a baby.

Suddenly we’re needing to make all these decisions and we both are desperately trying to get it right and take care of our little man the best we can. I swear every time I run the bath for Jesse, Kaine will ask if the temperature is okay before putting him in. And, probably equally annoying for Kaine is when I come swooping in to console a tired, cranky bub even though he is doing a great job of it himself.

Of course it is not that we are judging each other or that we don’t trust each other’s decisions. We just so badly want to do an exceptional job at raising our little human, and any future little humans that my join our family, that sometimes it all get’s just a little overwhelming.

That said, even though it can be really hard and overwhelming at times, we know its only because we care so much. For our boy. For each other. And about being the best and most exceptional parent we can be.

But at the end of the day, when it comes to our values and our desire to be peaceful, positive parents… We are 100% on the same page. And that is what makes us work!

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Photo: Renee Trubai | Teething Jewellery: Nature Bubz

Footage Friday: Peek-A-Boo Baby

Our not-so-little-any-more Bubba will be six months old in a week. And this month especially it feels like he has grown and changed so much both physically and developmentally.

Just this past week he has grasped the concept of peek-a-boo. We stumbled across this rather accidentally.

One evening he was soundly sleeping and we were using the opportunity to do some editing. So when he woke up with a second wind he joined us in the office and we amused him while we worked.

All of a sudden he started laughing hysterically, the most gutsy laugh he has ever done, at me playing peek-a-boo with him.

For several minutes we played together, Kaine and I laughing along with Jesse and giggling to each other about how cute he was. We were just wrapped up in the game enjoying the moment but towards the end I grabbed the trusty iPhone and captured a little bit.

The quality is not great but it was just too cute not to share.

Happy Friday friends.

Putting A Stop To ‘Mummy Guilt’

I first heard the term ‘mummy guilt’ a number of years ago when an otherwise lovely acquaintance said to me “oh, you don’t know about mummy guilt yet”. Immediately I hated the term and I had to refrain myself from leaning over the table and strangling her as I geared up for yet another “just you wait ’til you have kids” speech.

Now, I am a mum. And while I get that being a parent is a massive learning curve, and we probably get it wrong more times than we get it right, I’m still not a fan of the concept of mummy guilt.

It’s not that I don’t relate to the thing they call mummy guilt (I may have even experienced it on occasion). I mean, we all want to do what is best for our children right? But a lot of the time our expectations are very different to reality.

At the end of the day, I hate that there are so many awesome mums (and dads) out there that are spending precious time and energy feeling guilty about what they are, or are not doing.

The dreaded guilty feeling can rear its ugly head in many ways… but for some reason, more often than not, it seems this mummy guilt stuff is directly linked between work and time with our babies. That ever elusive work / life balance.

There’s the stay at home mum that dreams about her former self kicking butt on the corporate ladder. She might feel guilty for sometimes wanting to be a career woman again. Or maybe she feels guilty that she’s no longer contributing to the household finances.

There’s the mum who had to go back to work. Maybe she needed to go back for financial reasons or perhaps she would have lost her job if she didn’t. And every morning she reluctantly leaves her child in someone else’s care as she wishes she could turn the car around and go back to their happy little bubble at home.

Then there’s the mum who went back to work because she wanted too. She absolutely loves her children, but she also loves her career. And she wakes up every morning feeling guilty that she might be putting her career before her children.

None of these choices make us bad mums (or dads). So why is it that we let this pesky guilt get the better of us??

What makes this phenomenon even harder to deal with is the fact that for some strange reason, some women seem to almost enjoy critiquing other people’s parenting choices. Perhaps it helps them to ease their own guilt for a moment. But wouldn’t a better solution be to just accept and embrace and be grateful that we do have so many choices available to us?

So let’s just all agree to STOP!!! Stop feeling guilty all the time! And while we’re at it stop judging each other and comparing ourselves to others.

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To the mum who works outside the home and has to put their children in care, you are teaching them that you can have a successful career and a successful family life. You are teaching them about work ethic, responsibility, and finance. You are teaching them that they too, can have a career and a family and succeed at both. You are teaching them to make friends and make connections with others. You are teaching them independence.

To the stay at home mum, you are instilling into your children your own values and ethics, not someone else’s. You are teaching them that making a worthy contribution doesn’t necessarily have to be in the form of a job. You are reading to them, playing with them and teaching them skills that you consider to be important in life.

In the end, whatever your circumstances are, the best advice I can give is that you just need to do your best and own it. No matter what.

And if no one has told you yet today… you are doing a great job mama!

Footage Friday: Caravan Shows and Swimming

T.G.I.F… Why? Because that means it’s Footage Friday again!

On Sunday last weekend, you would have seen us post about the fact that we went to a Caravan Expo and also took Jesse for his first swim.

Well, we thought that it would be a good opportunity to take the vlogging camera with us so we could record what we got up to throughout the day.

We finally got around to editing, exporting and uploading it last night. So here it is, ready for your viewing pleasure on Footage Friday.

Milk Drunk Love Stories: Our Breastfeeding Journey, Part II

Last week I wrote about taking part in a new project all about the ways in which we nourish our children.

Nourish: Milk Drunk Love Stories is a project curated by photographer Renee Trubai and she kindly asked if we would share our story of our feeding experiences with Jesse.

You can read our full story here on her blog.

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Renee is looking for others to share their stories too so don’t be shy if you feel you have a story to tell.

Jesse’s First Swim

Spring time in Queensland is glorious. So we definitely wanted to take advantage of this amazing weather with a road trip today.

So we packed the car, bundled Jesse up and hit the road to the big smoke for a Caravan and Camping Show and then for lunch and a swim at South Bank.

As you would have read previously, we are in the early stages of planning a big trip around Australia. So when we found out there was a caravan and camping show sale on just outside the Brisbane CBD, we definitely wanted to head in for a look.

But the best part of the day was when we headed over the Brisbane River to South Bank for lunch and a swim. Jesse’s first swim. And it was the perfect opportunity to try our new camera outdoors (since the weather has been rainy and overcast for the past week). We couldn’t wait.

After absolutely demolishing a couple of burgers for lunch, and feeding Jesse his puréed fruit, it was time to jump into the pool to cool off. Jump in for Jesse’s first swim. A swim we knew Jesse was going to love.

And love it he did. He didn’t flinch one bit when Renee took him into the water. And he didn’t complain once while he was in there. Instead, just after i’d finished taking the photos that you can see below, he fell asleep in the water. He really must have loved the cool water against his hot skin.

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It was so cute seeing him enjoying his first swim. Even if it meant that he didn’t enjoy it for very long on account of him falling asleep. But it was great to have such beautiful weather that we could actually get outside and enjoy spring in Brisbane.

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After our little swim, we decided to head off and have a wander through the South Bank markets. Our little family. The three of us, out on a Sunday enjoying the outdoors together.

Before we had Jesse I would look at little families and often think, they look like a nice family. I wonder if young couples look at us now and think the same thing?

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After having such a great day out, on the way home in the car discussion turned to how we should actually get out and enjoy the great outdoors more often. There are YouTubers we watch that are always getting out and enjoying the outdoors. Whether that be just walking around enjoying the sun, or getting our for a skate, bike ride or mountain climbing.

And I even know a few people at my work who are always out and about on weekends. Sharing photos of their latest adventures on Instagram and Facebook.

We came to the conclusion that it doesn’t really cost any money to go out on adventures like that. And that it is definitely something we need to do a lot more of. Especially now that we have such a nice camera to use.

So where do you go on adventures to? Where is your favourite place outdoors to visit? What suggestions could you give us for our next adventure as a family?

As I finish off this post, all I can think about is how excited I am for our next outdoors adventure as a family. #family #love

Photo Friday: Food, Glorious Food

This week we decided to start Jesse on solids….well, if you can call purée a solid.

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Five months may be a little early if you ask the ‘experts’ but he has been giving us all the signs that he was ready for more than a liquid diet.

So we started off with something basic. Some organic pumpkin and swede boiled and blitzed with a little breast milk for added goodness.

And well, we think he liked it.

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We love these photographs captured on our new camera (Olympus EM10 Mark II).

And for good measure, here is a little video too.