Okay, so it’s Saturday but better late than never right?
Jesse’s seventh month was quite eventful with two of the most adorable little teeth you’ve ever seen making an appearance as well as mastering how to sit up on his own.
We had a few hiccups whilst recording the video but hey, they do say never work with babies or animals!
Enjoy.
It’s hard to believe but the first month of 2016 is almost over. I know, right!
It may seem like the year has taken off and left you somewhere around December 27th last year but don’t fret. It’s not too late to plan your year and get back on track. Don’t let another year just slip by leaving you wondering when time started to go by so quickly.
Already, this year is not what I had expected. After 9 months of maternity leave I should have been returning to my job this week but instead I am embarking on a new adventure and starting my own business as a licensed Kangatraining Instructor. The successful boutique consulting company I worked with for the last five years are closing their doors to allow for it’s people to pursue other opportunities. Including me.
As fate would have it, I had already started down the Kangatraining path and was planning to do both part time when I found out there wasn’t going to be a job for me to return to. Strangely enough I didn’t freak out. I strongly believe in the mantra ‘everything happens for a reason’. And thankfully I have a super supportive husband who also didn’t freak out and has been nothing but positive and encouraging.
I have found that women don’t need the support of their man to be successful, but it sure bloody helps! Guys, you might think your lady is a super star capable of anything she sets her mind to, but have you told her that lately?
Anyway, as I type this I am gearing up to take my instructor exams and putting in place all the finer details to get this new adventure up and running. And I can’t help thinking about how often thin threads can completely change our direction in life.
One minute I am spending 40 hours a week sitting in my home office in front of a computer screen… okay, let me digress for a minute and address some of the working from home questions that have no doubt popped up in your mind…
Yes, I worked from home. Yes, I often worked in my pyjamas. No, I never worked nude or whilst in bed. And yes, I may or may not have taken the odd afternoon siesta on the lounge, particularly while pregnant. And while I’m on the topic of working from home, whenever I talked about returning to work after having a baby everyone would say “oh but you work from home, how convenient, you won’t need day care”. Seriously?? I don’t know about all of you other mums out there but I can barely get my hair brushed or the dishes done let alone have a productive work day when home with my baby.
Now, where was I… Oh yes, one minute I’m spending 40 hours a week in front of a computer screen (working very hard), the next I have a baby who requires my attention around the clock and doesn’t like it very much when I sleep and now I’m about to become a fitness instructor (I know, I can’t say it with a straight face yet) where I get to play with mummies and bubbies and live out my dream of being a (sort of) dance teacher.
I feel so lucky to have found something that allows me to be with my baby whilst contributing to our household finances AND combines my love of dance and fitness with my passion for baby wearing and helping other mamas.
So, my point is (if in fact there is one amongst all of this sleep deprived rambling) if January has slipped past you, stop right now and set yourself a goal for February. As big or as small as you like. But don’t let this next month be just another 28 (or is it 29?) days of the year. It is never too late to change direction… get back on the wagon… or insert other witty cliché here.
Dare to dream
x
So, sleep regression is apparently a thing? A thing that happens to babies!
I never knew this…
I know about it now though. Not because I’m losing a lot of sleep. I’m losing some, but not a lot.
But I know about it mostly because poor Renee over the past nearly two weeks constantly feels like she has been run over by a truck. And she certainly isn’t shy when it comes to letting me know about it.
So with that, it would appear that Jesse is currently going through the 8 – 10 month sleep regression cycle. It’s common. But it’s tough.
Our once (fairly) good sleeper, has now turned into a monster when it comes to sleeping through the night. Monster is a strong word to use. But you get the drift.
Jesse had almost gotten to the point of sleeping through the night, waking maybe once or twice for some boob and then going back to sleep. Now however, after we think we’ve finally got him down for the night, he will wake up nearly hourly. But he doesn’t just wake up… he wakes up screaming and crying!
I hear him on occasions and it will wake me up. But poor Renee, is the one getting up to him to give him boob to calm him down. To give him cuddles to comfort him. To put him back to sleep only for her to have to get up again in another hour and do it all over again.
I know what you’re going to say, “Why don’t you take over for a night? Give Renee a break?”
I would… but it’s hard when Renee is the one with the boobs and that’s the only thing that’s going to calm him down at 3 am in the morning!
So with all that preamble, what I do want to say is this… Renee, I think you are amazing!
I think it’s amazing that you get up to him all night every night without wanting to wake me for help. I think you’re amazing that you can survive on so little sleep throughout the day without much complaint. I think you’re amazing for not blaming Jesse through this rough period because like me, you know he can’t help it. He’s just developing.
I think it’s amazing that you are able to do this night in and night out, when I would most likely have already cracked. I think that you’re an amazing super mum!
But I wan’t you to know that I am here for you. You can call on me for help. I want to help. Even if that’s just taking over Jesse duty throughout the day so that you can have a rest.
Don’t let it get you down though… this period will pass soon enough. And then we will have our sleepy bubba back.
I love you.
So this past week in the Barton household has been a tough one.
We’ve had teething issues… We’ve had high temperatures… We’ve had heat rash… We’ve had loss of appetite… We’ve had uncontrollable crying… We’ve had tantrums… We’ve had pushing bottles away… We’ve had up the backers…
We’ve had a cranky, tired, unsettled bubba who was quite obviously not dealing with the nasty effects of teething.
All that said though, when he falls asleep… He still looks like the cutest, most peaceful, wonderful little man I ever lay eyes on!
We can’t wait for the poor little guy to get through this rough patch, getting back to his usual, happy go lucky self.
Being a full time mum may seem like its all Netflix and coffee dates – swanning around the shops in your active wear sipping on a skinny chai latte. But they really are right when they say being a mum is the hardest job in the world. And I’m only 7 months in!
Okay, so there might be a fair bit of Netflix. Especially in those early newborn days. And yes, coffee is now a food group all of it’s own in my current diet… but there is more to it. We parents work bloody hard. Especially those that have jobs and kids to take care of!
So what’s it really like?
I’m gonna start with the ugly while it’s fresh in my mind. Yesterday was ugly! Our usually fairly chilled bub had suddenly become some sort of possessed, teething monster who only operated on two extremes. Screaming and inconsolable! Or snugly and super clingy! Okay, so the snugly clingy part wasn’t so bad, but it was the several plus hours of the inconsolable screaming beforehand that was the really ugly part. It’s the part of parenting where you pretty much lose your s*** but then feel really bad because you know its not their fault. You know your little one is not purposefully sending your blood pressure through the roof. They’re in pain. And they need their mummy. Thankfully, these really ugly days are few and far between.
And then there’s the bad. Hmmm, where do I start? Well, there’s the ongoing sleep deprivation. If you really want to mess someone up just wake them up every three hours. EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. There are times where they let you go right back to sleep… But then there are times where they just smile up at you and giggle and make you play with them for an hour. When you get one of those “It’s 3am and I’m wide awake” smiles, it is incredibly frustrating and ridiculously cute all at the same time. And then there’s the poo under your finger nails, the vomit on your shirt just as your about to finally head out the door, the thinking you can hear the baby cry every time you get in the shower, and the song Peppa Pig sings about finding a friend for her pet goldfish Goldie that you JUST CAN’T GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD!!! “Fishy fishy fish fish, swimming in the sea. Who will be a fishy friend, for my fish Goldie?”
But then there’s the good. And it is, oh… so… good! It’s that uncontrollable urge to plant an inappropriate amount of kisses on that squishy face whenever it’s in close range. And what is it with baby feet that just makes you want to (ever so gently) bite them? Its the tiny warm body that fits perfectly on your chest as his gently rises and falls with each breath while he sleeps. And even the now not-so-tiny body that still manages to fit just right. Its the chubby little arms that learn to reach out for his mama whenever she walks by. Its the chubby little legs that kick out as you tickle him under his neck and arms. And that throaty laughter that may just be the sweetest sound in the world.
There is oh so much good. And the best part is, you only need one good moment to outweigh a whole day of ugly moments (and thank God for that, otherwise we’d never deliberately procreate!).
But with all of that, and despite the fact that being a parent really is the hardest job in the world… we wouldn’t trade it in for anything would we mum’s and dad’s? I love the fact that I am a stay at home mum. And I know there will come a time when my boy will be grown and no longer need me to give him my everything so I will try to treasure it all, the good, the bad… and the ugly, while I can. It sure is tough, but it’s also so incredibly rewarding and fun.
So hold your heads up high stay at home mums and dads… You have the best job in the world!
And we’re back!
We kind of fell off the radar for a while there amongst the Christmas and New Year black hole. Those two weeks where you don’t even know what day of the week it is and you wind up eating and drinking waaaay too much!
So here’s a little catch up…
Jesse’s first Christmas was so enjoyable. He received loads of pressies from family and friends though he mostly just enjoyed eating the wrapping paper! He got an extra special gift on Christmas morning… the most adorable, (and sharp!) little, white toothy-peg peering up from his bottom gum.
We followed that up with our annual New Year’s trip to the Bunya Mountains. We basically ate ourselves stupid for 5 days and enjoyed the company of some family in one of the many beautiful houses there. See what we got up to here.
Let me just say, staying up until midnight to greet the new year is certainly a lot more difficult these days. Perhaps the last seven months of broken sleep and a significant decrease in alcohol intake has something to do with it!
Despite that though, we did manage to ring in 2016 and it is shaping up to be an incredible year.
We have already kicked off the year with some spring cleaning (is it still called that if it is in 30 degree summer heat?) at home starting with our home office. After it being the place I spent eight hours a day for the last five years working as a business consultant (before becoming a Mum), I will not be returning to my job next month as we had originally planned.
Instead I will be embarking on an exciting new venture with Jesse as my business partner. More on that to come but we are very excited and for us as a family, it feels like one of those opportunities that crops up at just the right time and though completely different to the original plan, ends up being a perfect fit.
We also have some big plans for NSSLOU this year too. We thank you so much for supporting us so far. With so much content on the interweb we really do appreciate you taking the time to read our little diddies and share your personal experiences and words of encouragement with us.
When we started this project we wanted to create something unique. A space to not only share our parenting experiences but also bring together all elements of our life: parenthood, married life, work, fun, travel and adventure as a collective that is the ‘Not So Secret Life Of Us’. In the hopes that we might be able to bring a little bit of sunshine to your day, make you laugh (or cry) and maybe provide us all with a little bit of comfort that we aren’t the only ones when it comes to life’s many twists and turns. So hopefully we are doing that and can continue to as we embark on the second half of our first year as parents.
We are so excited for the year ahead. We hope in amongst all the festive season fun you too have found some time to reflect on the year that was and plan for 2016. Give yourself permission to dream up some weird and wonderful goals for the year and make it your best year yet!
Happy New Year!
There are many tell-tale signs that you have become a parent. Some are obvious. Yes, that small human being that’s constantly hanging around you now is your child. And some that may have happened subtly over time. Like the increase of toys scattered on the lounge room floor and the ever-growing dark circles under your eyes.
We have certainly noticed a lot of changes in our lives since becoming parents. And we’re only six months in!
So here’s what I’ve found.
You know you’re a parent when…
And, for good measure, number 11 is that despite all this you wouldn’t have it any other way. Even on the toughest days a smile, giggle or cuddle from the small human makes being a parent totally awesome.
A friend said to me recently that of all the people she knows who have children, none of them have ever said ‘Oh, don’t do it, it’s not really worth it’.
I was oddly comforted as I realised she was right. I too have never heard any parents say it wasn’t worth it.
So while it might be bloody hard at times, anything worth doing usually is.
This Christmas, is our first as parents.
This Christmas, is Jesse’s first.
This Christmas, is not going to be like any other Christmas’ we have ever had before… and we can’t wait!
Christmas with children is fun. We’ve seen the movies! And we remember what Christmas was like when we we’re kids. It was the best time of year! Waking up to find all the presents Santa had delivered, under the Christmas tree waiting for us to open them.
And even spending time with some of our family who have kids. Just seeing the absolute joy on their faces at Christmas time when they get to open Christmas gifts from Santa and loved ones.
But how much is too much? How do you not go too overboard when getting gifts for your children.
I was recently talking to my sister-in-law who told me about this great tradition that they’ve implemented for gift giving at Christmas. The four gift rule.
When we were talking about it, I absolutely loved the idea of the four gift rule. For a lot of reasons, but mainly because it’s a simple tradition that we can start this Christmas, and keep for many more Christmas’ to come!
So what are your favourite Christmas traditions?
We would love to hear all about how other families spend Christmas and any traditions you have.
In the past, both on this blog and in general conversation with people we know, we have often talked about how Jesse is a really cruisy baby. And about how lucky we have been because he’s such a happy baby.
“Nah, he hardly ever cries”, we would say. “He’s a pretty chilled baby”.
Well, all that has changed. Our once chilled, happy, easy going baby has turned into a restless, upset, cranky, screaming bubba that is often hard to settle. The culprit? Based on all the evidence we have and research we’ve undertaken, the most likely explanation is that he is starting to go through teething.
So with that, I would like to say that this past week of parenting for us, has been hard. Hard because after becoming accustomed to having such a happy, well behaved baby for the better part of the past 6 months, it has been a little difficult coming to terms with and adjusting to a baby that is cranky and unsettled a lot of the time.
But while it has been hard for us both, it has been especially hard for Renee. When you are a stay-at-home mum and have a baby that demands your full attention for so much of the day and night, it can start to take its toll. But Renee has soldiered on. Being a pillar of support for Jesse and also being a rock for me when I get stressed. And for this reason, words can’t even begin to express my gratitude toward Renee for this.
That said, there is one (huge) thing that both Renee and I need to consider and reflect on. And that is that Jesse is not doing this just for the hell of it. He is not putting us through our paces as parents just because he feels like it. Jesse is genuinely upset, unhappy, and in pain.
When he is uncontrollably crying and just won’t settle down no matter what we try. It’s because he is in discomfort and in pain.
When he keeps waking up every couple of hours during the night because he is unsettled. It’s because he just wants a cuddle and to be comforted.
When he won’t settle in my arms no matter what I do, but will stop crying when he gets his mummy. I need to realise that it’s not that he doesn’t like me. It’s just that he wants his mummy at that moment. Mostly I think, because mummy has the boobs.
And when he won’t take his bottle no matter how many different ways we try to give it to him. It’s because his gums are sensitive and hurt. But taking comfort in knowing that he is still getting nourishment through puree’s and mummy’s boobs.
We know that babies have limited communication skills. So when it comes to communicating with mums and dads, the only thing babies can really do is cry. And for this reason, we do know that for the moment, the constant crying and unsettled nature is just his way of communicating that something is just not quite right.
I will at this point say this. We aren’t naive about the struggles of having a newborn. We are well aware that there will be parents out there that have had unsettled babies since they were born. Babies with colic. Babies with reflux. The fact that we are going through this rough patch isn’t even a blip compared to what some parents go through with their own babies.
And these parents in our eyes, deserve to be commended. We can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like to have a baby that cries all the time. You must be super parents to be able to navigate your way through the days with a constantly unsettled bubba.
I hereby dub you ‘Super Mum’ and ‘Super Dad’! High five!
I know that the mere fact we have had such a happy and healthy baby leading up to this dreaded teething period has been an absolute blessing. And really, in the grand scheme of things, we really don’t have anything to complain about. And despite the fact that he is going through an unsettled period, he still does give us glimpses of his usual self (happy go lucky Jesse), he is healthy, and he is still bloody cute.
But it’s still tough… Being first time parents and never experiencing this before, ever, and trying to get a grasp of and work through this rough period with Jesse is tough. But I have absolute faith that together, as a unit, we are strong and will work through it and come out the other side with an even happier baby than we had before.
And to all my fellow mums and dads out there (especially the first timers)… we got this! We can do this! And if there is only one thing that you get from this post, I hope it’s that you are not alone in your struggles! Everyone goes through rough patches.
So let’s support each other and get through this together!
We got this!
It is probably a little taboo to talk about breastfeeding in a negative way. And I’m in no way intending to disrespect those that are unable to for whatever reason.
So let me just say I love breastfeeding my baby and feel incredibly lucky that I’ve been able to do so (read about my breastfeeding story here). But there are certainly a few things that I won’t miss when the time comes for us to move on from it.
Things like:
Having said that there are some things I definitely will miss.
Things like:
I know that when that last feed happens, though I probably won’t know its the last feed at the time, that I will no doubt feel a bit sad that its over. But there is part of me that won’t mind to have my body back, be able to let ‘the girls’ roam free if I feel and be able to wear a dress again (one that doesn’t require buttons or the ability to slip down).
not so secret life of us 