Tag: First Time Mum

The Fourth Trimester: A Love Letter to My Son

Renee Barton1 Comment

It is done. You are officially twelve weeks old. And it has been swell, my love.

After nine beautiful months, three trimesters, of growing you in my belly every day wondering what you would be like. We have now spent the fourth trimester, your first three months in the outside world, falling in love. And I for one am smitten.

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You are the sweetest little boy. I will cherish this special time we’ve had together forever. Our secret rendezvous in the middle of the night. Our delicious afternoon naps together. Carrying you close to my body making us both reminisce about those months you spent inside. And our morning snuggles in bed, my heart melting with every smile.

You have already grown so much. From a tiny, slippery bundle I could hold in my two palms to a chubby bouncing boy. The tiniest clothes were too big for you and now you are filling out your 000 outfits.

jesse outfit

When I felt you kicking in my tummy I knew we had a special connection. When I held you for the first time I knew I loved you. But now that I know you I know that my heart now lives outside my body. When you are sad and cry my heart aches like never before. And when you smile it sings.

These past 3 months haven’t been easy have they, my love. We have had some tough times together. I know you love it out here with us but it has been hard transitioning from the warm and cosy home in my tummy and sometimes you miss it. I miss it too.

Remember our second day together? You were so hungry and we were both learning what to do. We cried together that night in hospital but we made it through.

in hospital

I can’t promise that there won’t be more hard times ahead. But I can promise that we’ll be together so we’ll be alright.

My precious boy, thank you for choosing me to be your Mummy.

I love you.

Footage Friday: Smiley Bubba

Renee BartonLeave a comment

We are waiting with bated breath to hear the delightful sound of Jesse’s first laugh.

He often shrieks with joy as he smiles and kicks his legs. And there have been a few times when he has smiled and had a little chuckle in his sleep but he is yet to let out a definite baby giggle.

Today’s Photo Friday is a cute video of our smiley bubba.

Mission Possible: Getting Out of the House with a Baby

Renee BartonLeave a comment

Before having a baby I had heard parents complain about how difficult it was and how long it took to leave the house with a baby. And yes, now I know what they were talking about.

kaine heading out

Before baby, husband and I could be out the door within a few minutes of making the decision.

“Want to go out for lunch?”

“Sure!”

Freshen up, grab keys, wallet and phone and out the door we go.

Now it is a juggling act. I feed the baby while he gets ready then he changes the nappy and preps the gear while I get ready. By then it is time to feed again and after all that we might actually manage to throw everything in the car, buckle baby in his car seat and leave the house.

Phew… nap anyone??

In all seriousness though, I still firmly believe that, with a bit of patience and flexibility, it is possible (and important) to still be outgoing and enjoy a life outside the four walls of home.

So here are some of the things I’ve learned about venturing out of the house with a new baby.

  1. Preparation is key. Always take more stuff than you think you will need including clothing, blankets, bottles and nappies.
  2. Time your outings so that you leave straight after a feed. This way you can maximise time before the next feed is due, in theory anyway.
  3. Try and avoid taking baby in and out of the car more than twice in one outing.
  4. Breastfeed in public. It will feel really awkward at first. Much harder than simply whipping off your shirt and unashamedly popping your boob out when at home. It takes some practice to be able to juggle baby whilst trying to modestly unhook your bra and subtly hide your breast pad somewhere whilst getting bub to latch. And hey, if you happen to flash a bit of boob, try not to worry. It is natural, your baby is hungry and people should just get over it.
  5. Even when using the pram always have a wrap or carrier handy just in case bub gets cranky and wants out.
  6. When baby starts to get grizzly, it is time to go. Avoid being tempted by one more shop or one more errand as this will often lead to a screaming baby and stressed out mum on the ride home.
  7. Enjoy being out. Having a baby doesn’t mean your social life has to end or that you need to be housebound. Getting out every so often will help you to appreciate those days at home endlessly feeding on the couch whilst watching Netflix.
  8. If it all seems too hard, just try grabbing the pram or your favourite carrier and going for a walk around the block. The fresh air will do you both a world of good. Not to mention a little bit of exercise too.

feeding in public

So my question to you is, what are your tips and tricks for getting out of the house with your little ones?

Family Shot - Beach

A Terrible Case of the Post-Partum Body Blues

Renee Barton2 Comments

I get it. My body is amazing. It created, grew and gave birth to a human. Blah, blah, blah.

But am I a horrible, shallow person if I’m not totally wrapped about my post-miracle body? Nearly three months on and I really thought I’d at least be on track to getting back to how my body looked before. But the reflection staring back at me is still much different to what I’d like to see.

My clothes are bursting at the seams and having to ‘tuck’ my stomach into my waistband is not exactly doing wonders for my self esteem right now.

Don’t get me wrong, I really do think women’s bodies are amazing. Pregnancy and childbirth really are a miracle. But in order to be the best mum and wife I can be, I need to take care of myself and get back to liking what I see in the mirror.

I really loved being pregnant. When we were trying to have a baby I absolutely couldn’t wait for my belly to swell. I wanted to rock my baby bump and I was proud of it. I was also incredibly lucky in that I didn’t suffer from uncomfortable bloating or unsightly cankles. In fact, I actually lost weight in my first trimester. No, I wasn’t throwing up with morning sickness. I had just started a 12 week challenge before I knew I was pregnant as I had some unwanted kilos to shift following our Euro Trip where we ate and drank like kings for a month.

pregnant

But then into my second and third trimesters the kilos started to stack back on. And despite saying that I wanted to have a really clean pregnancy, I ended up addicted to carbs and sugar again. I didn’t over do it to a dangerous extent but I did probably enjoy myself a little too much. I was still relatively active and was still doing high intensity weights up until the week before I gave birth.

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I kind of thought that once I had the baby I would immediately drop five kilos, I’d get back to training as soon as possible and for the most part everything would return to how it was. I mean, with breastfeeding I should spring back into shape in no time right? Wrong. Breastfeeding has just made me starving ALL THE TIME!

I was eager to return to weight training but had to wait the obligatory six weeks. But as soon as I got the ok I started back again plus I have added KangaTraining and a post-partum Ultratone program to the mix.

I have slowly started to change my diet and get it back to what it was post pregnancy. But I still have a long way to go.

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I am trying not to be too hard on myself and have more realistic expectations but it is difficult not to get a bit down sometimes.

Looking at my beautiful little boy it is totally worth it. But it is time to get this Mama back into shape!

For my son, for my husband, but most of all for me.

Do You Even Baby Wear Bro?

Renee BartonLeave a comment

So, baby wearing is a big thing. Like, there are Facebook groups dedicated to it and everything!

And why not, it’s awesome!

I first became familiar with the concept when I was pregnant. I fell in love with Chekoh Carriers when I spotted them on social media and I couldn’t wait to get one. I really love the idea of the ‘fourth trimester’ and I thought that baby wearing was a great way to keep bub feeling safe and secure as well as being practical and super stylish with the Chekoh wraps.

It took several attempts (and about 37 views of the video) to get the hang of putting it on. And my bub was very small so it was tricky to get the tension just right. But now we (yes, Kaine loves to baby wear too!) have got it down to a fine art. Jesse loves it and so do we.

Baby Wearing

I then visited a friend while wearing the wrap and she mentioned that she uses a wrap like that when she goes out and a Baby Bjorn at home.  I thought that seemed like a good arrangement and by the next day I was the proud owner of a near new one I found on Gumtree.

It certainly makes doing chores around the home much easier and the little man loves it, falling asleep almost instantly every time.

The thing is it seems that I may have developed an obsession with carrier collecting!

I went to my first KangaTraining class last week and, as the Baby Bjorn is not suitable for that, I had to borrow one of their Manducas. Well… I might just need one of those too! There are so many great options available and now Chekoh are now teasing me with their soon to be released ring slings…

Oh my, I may have a problem!

But it wasn’t until recently that I realised just how much of a big deal this baby wearing stuff is.

I went to the ‘Babes in Arms’ session at the movies to see Magic Mike XXL (I know, excellent parenting right there!) and I wore my Chekoh figuring that Jesse would sleep throughout the movie and I’d avoid the need to take a pram (which I still do use by the way). In the parents room afterwards a fellow mum asked me which wrap I was using. When I told her this prompted a several minute long conversation about wraps, carriers and baby wearing. It was fascinating. She told me about the local baby wearing community on Facebook and suggested I join my local group.

I did and was slightly freaked out at first. It’s like a exclusive society complete with secret handshake! But it appears to be an extremely supportive community and a really great way for mums to feel a part of something positive unlike so much of the ‘mummy mafia’ beahaviour out there nowadays.

So I suppose I’m officially part of the club. But, as a newbie, I’d love to hear from my fellow baby wearing enthusiasts.

What’s your favourite way to wear your Bub?

And if you haven’t tried baby wearing yet, give it a go. But beware, it’s addictive!

New Mum Reminder: Go Easy on Yourself!

Renee BartonLeave a comment

Our little man is two months old today. He is getting so big and changing every day.

As we get caught up in the daily rituals of nappies and meal times it feels like Jesse has been apart of our family for longer than he has. Sometimes this can lead to disappointment that I don’t quite have it all together all of the time.

Then I am reminded not be so hard on myself, after all it has only been 8 weeks!

So here are some things I think I need to be reminded of. Perhaps you can relate to some of these or add a few of your own…

  1. You are still new at this and that’s OK! You’re not expected to have it all figured out just yet. So your baby likes to be cuddled while he sleeps. He has a textbook breastfeed one time and then doesn’t want a bar of it the next. The dishes are piling up in the sink and you can’t remember the last time you cleaned the loo. Just go with it.  A stressed out Mum will only result in a stressed out bub.
  2. Some other areas of your life may have fallen by the wayside but it’s only temporary. I know you have high expectations of yourself and want to be able to be ‘Super Mum’ and do it all, all of the time. And in time you probably will. But for now, just relax and enjoy this special time. Baby steps are still progress even if it is slower than you might like.
  3. You may catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and wonder who the hell that fat, tired person is glaring back at you, but give yourself a break. You just had a baby for goodness sake! Yes there are some wobbly bits and lumps and bumps where there wasn’t before. Just focus on being healthy and happy for now and your body will soon follow.
  4. So those formula top ups you thought were temporary are still going, so what! Your baby is happy and healthy and that is all that matters. Remember this, each and every breastfeed, even if it is for just a few minutes, is doing wonders for your baby. Don’t be ashamed that you also have to give your baby bottles. You might feel like everyone is judging you but in fact other mums are probably thinking ‘Thank God, its not just me’!
  5. Trust your instincts. Sleep routines, controlled crying methods, co-sleeping, bed sharing, breasts, bottles, dummies, disposable nappies, cloth nappies, baby wearing; it seems everyone has an opinion about everything and there are so many concepts and ideas out there that at times, it can be very overwhelming. Just do what feels right. And if in the end it doesn’t work out, well, just try something else.

Just remember ‘this too shall pass’. That is both a blessing and a curse. Yes waking up several times throughout the night and a baby that won’t sleep for more than an hour on his own will eventually be things of the past. But so will those sleepy snuggles and those goofy gummy grins. So try to enjoy it all; the good, the bad and the sleep deprived.

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As women we can often be our own worst enemy. And as mothers we are often each others. Let’s cut ourselves some slack and while we are at it, be nicer to each other as well.

Breast or bottle, disposable or cloth, controlled crying or attachment parenting – no matter how we are doing it we are all going through the same things and just trying to be the best Mums we can be.

So try to be kinder to yourself and while you’re at it, give a smile or a word of encouragement to fellow Mum. It might be all she needs to brighten an otherwise stressful or frustrating day.

Photo Friday: How Cute is a Sleeping Baby

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Everyone loves the beautiful sight that is a sleeping baby.

Here are a few of our favourite sleepy bubba (and sleepy parent!) pics so far.

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Jesse at about 2 days old. We love this photo so much because it shows what he would have looked like when sleeping in Mummy’s tummy.

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Mummy and Jesse catching up on some sleep together on the lounge during his first few days at home.

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With a tummy full of milk, sleep follows shortly after.

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Jesse’s favorite place to sleep is on Daddy’s chest. Daddy often catches a few zzz’s as well.

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This is one of Jesse’s favourite sleeping poses. The Thinker.

10 Thoughts of a Sleep Deprived Mum During Night Feeds

Renee BartonLeave a comment

I’m sure other Mum’s will agree that we can have some pretty weird and wonderful thoughts when we are awake through the night tending to our little ones.

It is a special time. The rest of the house is quiet and dark. Baby cuddles up to you and stares lovingly at you with their big blue eyes whilst guzzling their midnight snack. But its not all warm and fuzzy. Literally! It has been pretty cold in Brisbane lately, peeling back the doona is even more difficult now and don’t even mention having to get your boobs out in the cold night air! It can be downright frustrating too. When all you want to do is sleep but baby is cranky, hungry, wet, cold, hot….and its your job to figure out which of these it is so that you can both get back to sleep as soon as possible.

So, here are 10 thoughts I’m sure we’ve all have whilst fulfilling this motherly duty.

  1. My life sucks right now.
  2. Has it been 3 hours already??
  3. Shit its cold!
  4. Awww….look at my husband sound asleep completely oblivious to everything….asshole!
  5. I am the luckiest Mummy in the world….and boy do I make cute babies!
  6. My life is awesome right now.
  7. I wonder what is happening on Facebook at 3am…..hmmm, not much!
  8. Ok, please settle so we can get back to sleep now.
  9. I’m sooo bloody tired! OMG, am I ever going to sleep though the night again ever?!
  10. Great, we’re done….well at least until you wake me up again in a few hours time and we do it all again.

All jokes aside, we wouldn’t have it any other way would we mums? As we pat their backs and kiss their faces and smell their heads, we know we are the luckiest (albeit tired-est) mummies in the world.

Thoughts during the night

Photo Friday: Who Does Jesse Look Like?

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

So right from the start, many if not all of the visitors we got in the early days said that Jesse was a spitting image of me. It certainly looked that way. Blonde hair, blue eyes, big nose.

But the more time passes, more people are saying that he is now looking more like Renee.

So we visited both our parents houses and went hunting through old baby photos of ourselves to try and see if we could find any that would be good to use as a comparison. And so below, we have 4 photos to compare. Photos of both Renee and I as babies with photos of Jesse at the same age (in days/weeks).

Have a look for yourselves and let us know who you think Jesse looks like… Mummy or daddy?

Jesse and Kaine:Kaine and Jesse

Jesse and Renee:
Renee and Jesse

An Open Letter to Dads Returning to Work

Renee Barton3 Comments

Next week Kaine will be returning to work and I am nervous to say the least.  I am wondering how I am going to handle things on my own without someone to share nappy duty with, without the chest which Jesse loves to fall asleep on and without someone to keep up the housework and bring me things when I’m breastfeeding.  But most of all how I’m going to cope without my person with me, my best friend, my husband.

But as hard as it will be for me, I know it will be even more difficult for him to leave us every morning and spend a large part of the day away from us.  Especially after enjoying such precious family time over the last 7 weeks.

So here are my words to my husband about his returning to work. Perhaps there are other women that feel this way about their spouse also so this is my open letter to working Dads.

To My Dear Husband,

The time we have spent together recently has been so special. The opportunity to be together every day as a new family while we navigate the challenges and joys of being parents has been incredible. I didn’t know I could love you more than I already did but seeing you as a Dad and the way you are with our baby, and with me, has deepened my love for you in ways I could not have anticipated.

But soon you will be returning to work. I know this will be difficult for you and that you will wish you were at home with us but I want you to know that work is exactly where your family needs you to be, at least for now.

Each day you leave our house please know that we love you and appreciate all you do to provide for us and ensure we are happy and healthy. We will miss you and the moment you arrive home will be our favourite part of the day.

Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to continue staying at home to care for our son. I know it is incredibly important to the both of us, and to us as a family, to be with him as much as possible and provide him with the best start in life.

So until a time when we are able to spend all of our days together again; we thank you.

Lovingly yours,

Wifey for Lifey

letter to dad