Tag: new mum

Our Breastfeeding Journey: Part III

Renee BartonLeave a comment

I think its over. After nearly 11 months I think my breastfeeding journey with Jesse is coming to an end.

And yes, I am sad about it. I never really understood the emotional part of stopping until recently. But I’m also really  happy and proud that we were able to do it for this long.

When I last shared about my breastfeeding experiences Jesse was 5 months old and I was hoping to keep going for at least one more month. And here we are another 5 months later.

Breast feeds have become less and less frequent over the last few months, so about two weeks ago we decided to start weaning from night feeds and start encouraging Jesse to take a bottle through the night instead. This was mostly because he was waking up so many times during the night to comfort feed that I needed to do something. Within a few days it had worked and I was then just offering once through the day; more so because I wasn’t quite ready to stop yet. But it has now been several days since our last feed so I am coming to terms with it being over for good now.

I could feel the end was near so I made sure I treasured those few minutes a day together over the last couple of weeks. And I’m embracing the fact that my baby is no longer a baby and will soon be turning one. Oh my!

Now that I’m at the final stages, I have loved breastfeeding my son so much. It was such a special time together and often times the only thing that would soothe him. Whether it be sore gums from teething, a tummy ache or a bad dream. It was Mummy and her magic boobs to the rescue.

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But there were times when I was so tired and felt so touched out that it really was one of the most challenging parts of being a new mum. There are many things I will miss about breastfeeding but also several that I won’t. I am also really excited to wear normal bras again. Normal clothes again. And not be the only one that can get up to him through the night! Yay!

Let’s face it though, I probably still will.

So until next time, that is the end of breastfeeding for me. It has been lovely. And hard. And beautiful. And exhausting.

And I wouldn’t change a thing.

A Mother’s Promise

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I read a story recently that has continued to impact on me and challenge me since reading it.

The story was of one mum’s promise to go to her baby when he cried for her no matter how tired or touched out she was, as the result of learning a heartbreaking reality for babies in an African orphanage.

She recounted the experience of a friend who had visited an orphanage and had been struck by how quiet one of the rooms was despite having over 100 babies in it. When they asked how so many babies could be so quiet the response was that they’ve realised no one is coming for them when they cry so they just don’t any more.

Uh. Cue heart break.

Straight away I related to this woman’s promise to her baby to go to him. That’s the kind of mum I want to be I thought to myself. I felt so sad at the thought of a little baby crying for their mother that would never come to them.

That night as I heard Jesse stir through the monitor for the fourth time since putting him down I threw back the covers and whispered into the darkness “damn it, Jesse”.

Doesn’t he know I’m tired? Doesn’t he know that I can’t take many more nights like this?

As I stepped into the hallway hearing his cry getting more desperate, I felt a pang of guilt and the story came flooding back to me.

No. He doesn’t know I’m in the other room praying for more than a couple of hours of sleep in a row. All he knows is its dark, he’s alone and he wants me to comfort him.

The same battle plays out through the day as he constantly climbs up my leg begging to be cuddled only to want to be put down again moments later. And then up again. And then down again.

My patience wears thin. But what about that promise to go to him no matter what? What about those silent babies who’ve given up on waiting for someone to come to them.

Goodness me. Being a parent really is a mind f*** isn’t it!

I was going to finish the post there feeling there wasn’t much else left to say when something beautiful happened.

I scooped up a begging Jesse into my arms for the hundredth time and read back this post aloud the way I always do before publishing it. And almost as if he knew what I needed, Jesse reached out, turned my face towards his and pressed his open mouth against mine. I was expecting an enthusiastic poke in the eye or finger shoved in my mouth but this was so much better. So gentle, so loving.

And just like that my love tank is full again.

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Life Lessons From My 9 Month Old

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There are a lot of things that can fall by the wayside when you have a baby. When most of your time in the early days is spent feeding and staring at your new baby and if you’re lucky, getting a bit of sleep, things like finding a few minutes to read a book drop down your priority list pretty quickly. In fact, just the thought of reading is enough to make your sleep deprived eyes sting and want to fall out of your head!

But my darling is no longer a newborn and it’s definitely time to pick back up some of the good habits I had BC (before children). I never wanted my family to be an excuse for an average life but rather my reason for striving for a great one.

I set a goal recently to recommit to my personal development and have kicked off by re-reading The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson. It’s a  great read about how those small daily habits that lead to success are easy to do but they are also easy not to do. And that we are never just coasting through life, we are either improving and heading towards success or sliding and moving further away from it. The Slight Edge is either working for us or against us all the time.

During my few minutes of nightly reading before my eyes burned for closure last night I read a passage entitled ‘baby steps’. It highlighted something that has been in the back of my mind recently as I watch Jesse explore his new world now that he can crawl and climb and experiment with his new-found independence. It was about how all babies are successful.

They are not perturbed one little bit by all the times they fall down when learning to master standing and eventually walking. They just get back up and try again. Most of the time not even really being phased by it or noticing that they’ve failed.

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I watch Jesse as he constantly works on mastering his new skills and I can’t help but think what we could achieve as adults if we approached things the same way babies do. If we knew we couldn’t fail. I’m yet to meet an adult who still crawls because walking was just too hard and falling down all the time was painful and humiliating.  They just work at it little by little each day and before you know it you’re running after them.

All babies are masters; we’re designed that way. All babies instinctively understand the Slight Edge.

So it got me thinking about all the life lessons my Bub has taught me so far…

1. Push the boundaries. When someone says no, turn around and flash them a big cheeky grin before going right back to doing the thing they said you cannot do.

2. When you see your reflection in the mirror love what you see. Smile your biggest smile and thrash your arms and legs around with glee. You are special, unique and gooooorgeous!

3. Sometimes you just need a cuddle from your mum. And she’ll be there with open arms even if its only been 5 minutes since the last time you needed one.

4. Squish some food in your hands before you eat it. Just because…

5. Smile at strangers. It just might make their day.

6. Explore your world like you’re seeing everything for the first time. It’s awesomeness might surprise you.

7. Play. Laugh. Dance. Clap. Life is too short to be serious all the time.

8. If you fall, get back up. If you fall again, get back up. Eventually you’ll master your new skill.

What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?

Take a baby step towards your dream everyday and the Slight Edge will do the rest.

x

Footage Friday: 8 Month Milestones

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Last month saw our little man go from ‘baby’ to crawler within a matter of days.

He is now exploring, climbing and getting into mischief at every opportunity. Don’t turn away for a minute because when you turn back he’ll be gone (or climbing up your leg).

His toys don’t seem quite so fun any more now that he can reach things he’s not allowed to play with (blinds, cords, draws, playstation, the cat, the bin….you get the idea).

Photo Friday: Mum and bub cool off in the pool

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With only a few days of Summer left there is no sign of it cooling down any time soon.

After a particularly hot and sweaty morning of Kangatraining, Jesse and I headed over to Nanny’s to test out the new baby pool she bought him.

We pulled it out of the box, pumped it up and promptly heard a loud hissing sound. Brand new and it had a hole in it! Not be be deterred, mum pulls out the sticky tape and in a ‘Big Hero 6’ like manner we taped up the hole and headed outside to fill it up.

Jesse and I had a lovely time cooling down and having a splash together.

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I Am Woman, Hear Me Kick Butt

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Recently I have found myself being amazed and inspired by all of the strong women I have crossed paths with.

I’m not surprised by any means that the world is full of amazing, talented, strong women. But since I began my Kangatraining journey, I have been exposed to more of them than usual.

During the week long course in Melbourne a few weeks ago I was struck by the diversity and talent among the nine other attendees as well as the presenters, all experts in their fields.

Among the other mums, some of whom I was lucky enough to connect with on a personal level (it’s so hard to make friends as an adult!), there were some incredibly smart and capable women. From backgrounds including teaching, engineering and medical professions we all had one thing in common. An overwhelming desire to be with our babies. Not one of them saw becoming a Kanga Instructor as a ‘step down’ but rather as an opportunity.

I know I certainly see it that way. As well as all the obvious perks of being able to have my baby with me while I work, it also scratches my entrepreneurial itch.

I have been wowed by other entrepreneurial women as I met with the owners of venues for my classes. Again they were strong, smart and talented women kicking butt in the business world.

I think even now, especially among men, a woman creating a small business is seen as just that; ‘small’. But I assure you it is anything but! With the stats about small business proving that many fail in the first few years, it proves the hard slog that is, starting and building a successful small business.

And I must say, mums are nailing it. There is nothing like the dread of leaving our little ones way before we are ready to get the creative juices flowing. And now our world is full of awesome ‘mum-preneurs’ kicking some epic butt. And my amazing mum is no exception. She has been running a successful home-based business for as long as I can remember. And although it hasn’t always been smooth sailing, sometimes she needed to hold a job on the side, she has never quit when the going got tough! My sister has also started a successful small business and now my sister-in-law is going into business for herself. Goes to show what a good example can do!

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The best part is that even if you have the desire to go into business but have absolutely no idea what to do, there are loads of successful platforms out there already that you can tap into.

Anyhow, I digress. My point is, women are awesome (as are the men that support them)! So thank you to all the wonderful women out there for inspiring me.

Keep kickin’ butt!

x

A New Year, A New Adventure

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It’s hard to believe but the first month of 2016 is almost over. I know, right!

It may seem like the year has taken off and left you somewhere around December 27th last year but don’t fret. It’s not too late to plan your year and get back on track. Don’t let another year just slip by leaving you wondering when time started to go by so quickly.

Already, this year is not what I had expected. After 9 months of maternity leave I should have been returning to my job this week but instead I am embarking on a new adventure and starting my own business as a licensed Kangatraining Instructor. The successful boutique consulting company I worked with for the last five years are closing their doors to allow for it’s people to pursue other opportunities. Including me.

As fate would have it, I had already started down the Kangatraining path and was planning to do both part time when I found out there wasn’t going to be a job for me to return to. Strangely enough I didn’t freak out. I strongly believe in the mantra ‘everything happens for a reason’. And thankfully I have a super supportive husband who also didn’t freak out and has been nothing but positive and encouraging.

I have found that women don’t need the support of their man to be successful, but it sure bloody helps! Guys, you might think your lady is a super star capable of anything she sets her mind to, but have you told her that lately?

Anyway, as I type this I am gearing up to take my instructor exams and putting in place all the finer details to get this new adventure up and running. And I can’t help thinking about how often thin threads can completely change our direction in life.

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One minute I am spending 40 hours a week sitting in my home office in front of a computer screen… okay, let me digress for a minute and address some of the working from home questions that have no doubt popped up in your mind…

Yes, I worked from home. Yes, I often worked in my pyjamas. No, I never worked nude or whilst in bed. And yes, I may or may not have taken the odd afternoon siesta on the lounge, particularly while pregnant. And while I’m on the topic of working from home, whenever I talked about returning to work after having a baby everyone would say “oh but you work from home, how convenient, you won’t need day care”. Seriously?? I don’t know about all of you other mums out there but I can barely get my hair brushed or the dishes done let alone have a productive work day when home with my baby.

Now, where was I… Oh yes, one minute I’m spending 40 hours a week in front of a computer screen (working very hard), the next I have a baby who requires my attention around the clock and doesn’t like it very much when I sleep and now I’m about to become a fitness instructor (I know, I can’t say it with a straight face yet) where I get to play with mummies and bubbies and live out my dream of being a (sort of) dance teacher.

I feel so lucky to have found something that allows me to be with my baby whilst contributing to our household finances AND combines my love of dance and fitness with my passion for baby wearing and helping other mamas.

So, my point is (if in fact there is one amongst all of this sleep deprived rambling) if January has slipped past you, stop right now and set yourself a goal for February. As big or as small as you like. But don’t let this next month be just another 28 (or is it 29?) days of the year. It is never too late to change direction… get back on the wagon… or insert other witty cliché here.

Dare to dream

x

 

 

Stay At Home Mum Life: the good, the bad and the ugly

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Being a full time mum may seem like its all Netflix and coffee dates – swanning around the shops in your active wear sipping on a skinny chai latte. But they really are right when they say being a mum is the hardest job in the world. And I’m only 7 months in!

Okay, so there might be a fair bit of Netflix. Especially in those early newborn days. And yes, coffee is now a food group all of it’s own in my current diet… but there is more to it. We parents work bloody hard. Especially those that have jobs and kids to take care of!

So what’s it really like?

I’m gonna start with the ugly while it’s fresh in my mind. Yesterday was ugly! Our usually fairly chilled bub had suddenly become some sort of possessed, teething monster who only operated on two extremes. Screaming and inconsolable! Or snugly and super clingy! Okay, so the snugly clingy part wasn’t so bad, but it was the several plus hours of the inconsolable screaming beforehand that was the really ugly part. It’s the part of parenting where you pretty much lose your s*** but then feel really bad because you know its not their fault. You know your little one is not purposefully sending your blood pressure through the roof. They’re in pain.  And they need their mummy. Thankfully, these really ugly days are few and far between.

And then there’s the bad. Hmmm, where do I start? Well, there’s the ongoing sleep deprivation. If you really want to mess someone up just wake them up every three hours. EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. There are times where they let you go right back to sleep… But then there are times where they just smile up at you and giggle and make you play with them for an hour. When you get one of those “It’s 3am and I’m wide awake” smiles, it is incredibly frustrating and ridiculously cute all at the same time. And then there’s the poo under your finger nails, the vomit on your shirt just as your about to finally head out the door, the thinking you can hear the baby cry every time you get in the shower, and the song Peppa Pig sings about finding a friend for her pet goldfish Goldie that you JUST CAN’T GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD!!! “Fishy fishy fish fish, swimming in the sea. Who will be a fishy friend, for my fish Goldie?”

But then there’s the good. And it is, oh… so… good! It’s that uncontrollable urge to plant an inappropriate amount of kisses on that squishy face whenever it’s in close range. And what is it with baby feet that just makes you want to (ever so gently) bite them? Its the tiny warm body that fits perfectly on your chest as his gently rises and falls with each breath while he sleeps. And even the now not-so-tiny body that still manages to fit just right. Its the chubby little arms that learn to reach out for his mama whenever she walks by. Its the chubby little legs that kick out as you tickle him under his neck and arms. And that throaty laughter that may just be the sweetest sound in the world.

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There is oh so much good. And the best part is, you only need one good moment to outweigh a whole day of ugly moments (and thank God for that, otherwise we’d never deliberately procreate!).

But with all of that, and despite the fact that being a parent really is the hardest job in the world… we  wouldn’t trade it in for anything would we mum’s and dad’s? I love the fact that I am a stay at home mum. And I know there will come a time when my boy will be grown and no longer need me to give him my everything so I will try to treasure it all, the good, the bad… and the ugly, while I can. It sure is tough, but it’s also so incredibly rewarding and fun.

So hold your heads up high stay at home mums and dads… You have the best job in the world!

The Technology Takeover: how do we fight back?

Renee Barton1 Comment

It started off slow.

Checking Facebook when we had a few minutes to spare. Posting a snap on Instagram to share a special memory with friends. Catching up on the news or checking the weather.

But somehow, without us even noticing, our devices are taking over. Taking over family dinners and coffee dates, playtime with our kids and talk time with our partners.

It’s not that technology is the enemy. I’m currently writing this post on my new iPhone 6 Plus (it’s so big!) and have an iPad set up in the back seat for my 4 month old to (sometimes) keep him from screaming blue murder on car trips.

But I’m constantly aware of finding a balance. Between being present in the moment and capturing it to share on Facebook. Between watching a cute dog video on YouTube and going outside and throwing a stick with our dog. Between reading parenting articles about how to be a better parent and actually being one.

We have had many discussions in our household about just that. About how important it is to us to spend quality time together looking at each other and not a screen. About how ridiculous it is that 4 year olds have their own iPads and that we don’t want to use a screen as a babysitter for our children.

I must preface this with a disclaimer for all those parents out there for whom technology is a godsend. A way to communicate with a child on the spectrum or educate a child with learning disabilities. I’m more so talking about how we could walk into any restaurant in the country and see people looking at their phones instead of each other. 

I distinctly recall talking about these things when I was pregnant. One of the things I said was I didn’t want to be breastfeeding and on my phone the whole time. What I failed to realise at the time was that breastfeeding takes up like 14 hours a day in those early weeks. And when staring at your newborn and taking in their every tiny feature only takes up about 7 of them there is still a whole lot of time to kill. The mighty smartphone is a godsend to a new mum. It reminds her that there is a world outside the 4 walls of her house and helps her connect with it even just a little.

I know we’re not the only household dealing with this dilemma. Wives are battling phones for the attention of their husbands. Parents are battling with their kids for a family meal without phones on the table. And babies are smiling and giggling at us while we laugh at a funny video on Facebook.

  
This powerful image published by the Huffington Post is captioned with “the more you connect, the less you connect.” If we are being honest I think we have probably all been guilty of neglecting a loved one because we are too busy with a smart phone in our face. 

So, how do you deal with the technology takeover in your family? A screen free hour each night? No phones at the dinner table? Chores for the WiFi password?

How can we benefit from all the great things about technology without just amusing ourselves to death? How can we ensure we enjoy some downtime thumbing through our Facebook and Instagram feeds without neglecting our loved ones?

How do we strike that perfect balance between living in the moment, and living in the digital world of Facebook updates and YouTube videos?

Because at the moment, it feels like technology is slowly starting to win the battle for our attention and that is something that I think… rather, that is something that I know, we need to change!

The Mum Version Of Me

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They say becoming a parent changes you. And it does.

I mean I’m still me, just the mum version of me. There’s the obvious stuff like the dirty nappies, permanent vomit on the shoulder and baby paraphernalia taking over the lounge room.

But I wasn’t ready for how every sad news story now affects me at my deepest level. Every house fire, every car accident. I can’t help but think what if that was my child, my baby.

A missing little boy makes me hug mine a little tighter. A sick child makes me pray for mine a little harder. Three little babies being left behind at a hospital because their mum can’t afford them or cope with the realities of triplets brings tears to my eyes.

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When you’re a parent, the need to protect your cub is sometimes overwhelming. You know there will be skinned knees and broken arms and broken hearts in the future but you can’t help but want to protect them from all the bad things.

A little rash, a scratch on the face from a tiny sharp fingernail or a sniffly nose is enough to bring on a bout of guilt and a tug at the heart strings.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a crazy mum who worries about everything and I don’t want to be the mum that wraps her kid in cotton wool. Kids will be kids and often learn through a little bump to the head or a tumble over clumsy feet, but I absolutely have a new found respect for any parent who has had to experience a sick child or worse.

If this is you, my hat goes off to you and my daily prayers now include you.