Tag: New Parents

Mission Possible: Getting Out of the House with a Baby

Renee BartonLeave a comment

Before having a baby I had heard parents complain about how difficult it was and how long it took to leave the house with a baby. And yes, now I know what they were talking about.

kaine heading out

Before baby, husband and I could be out the door within a few minutes of making the decision.

“Want to go out for lunch?”

“Sure!”

Freshen up, grab keys, wallet and phone and out the door we go.

Now it is a juggling act. I feed the baby while he gets ready then he changes the nappy and preps the gear while I get ready. By then it is time to feed again and after all that we might actually manage to throw everything in the car, buckle baby in his car seat and leave the house.

Phew… nap anyone??

In all seriousness though, I still firmly believe that, with a bit of patience and flexibility, it is possible (and important) to still be outgoing and enjoy a life outside the four walls of home.

So here are some of the things I’ve learned about venturing out of the house with a new baby.

  1. Preparation is key. Always take more stuff than you think you will need including clothing, blankets, bottles and nappies.
  2. Time your outings so that you leave straight after a feed. This way you can maximise time before the next feed is due, in theory anyway.
  3. Try and avoid taking baby in and out of the car more than twice in one outing.
  4. Breastfeed in public. It will feel really awkward at first. Much harder than simply whipping off your shirt and unashamedly popping your boob out when at home. It takes some practice to be able to juggle baby whilst trying to modestly unhook your bra and subtly hide your breast pad somewhere whilst getting bub to latch. And hey, if you happen to flash a bit of boob, try not to worry. It is natural, your baby is hungry and people should just get over it.
  5. Even when using the pram always have a wrap or carrier handy just in case bub gets cranky and wants out.
  6. When baby starts to get grizzly, it is time to go. Avoid being tempted by one more shop or one more errand as this will often lead to a screaming baby and stressed out mum on the ride home.
  7. Enjoy being out. Having a baby doesn’t mean your social life has to end or that you need to be housebound. Getting out every so often will help you to appreciate those days at home endlessly feeding on the couch whilst watching Netflix.
  8. If it all seems too hard, just try grabbing the pram or your favourite carrier and going for a walk around the block. The fresh air will do you both a world of good. Not to mention a little bit of exercise too.

feeding in public

So my question to you is, what are your tips and tricks for getting out of the house with your little ones?

Family Shot - Beach

Do You Even Baby Wear Bro?

Renee BartonLeave a comment

So, baby wearing is a big thing. Like, there are Facebook groups dedicated to it and everything!

And why not, it’s awesome!

I first became familiar with the concept when I was pregnant. I fell in love with Chekoh Carriers when I spotted them on social media and I couldn’t wait to get one. I really love the idea of the ‘fourth trimester’ and I thought that baby wearing was a great way to keep bub feeling safe and secure as well as being practical and super stylish with the Chekoh wraps.

It took several attempts (and about 37 views of the video) to get the hang of putting it on. And my bub was very small so it was tricky to get the tension just right. But now we (yes, Kaine loves to baby wear too!) have got it down to a fine art. Jesse loves it and so do we.

Baby Wearing

I then visited a friend while wearing the wrap and she mentioned that she uses a wrap like that when she goes out and a Baby Bjorn at home.  I thought that seemed like a good arrangement and by the next day I was the proud owner of a near new one I found on Gumtree.

It certainly makes doing chores around the home much easier and the little man loves it, falling asleep almost instantly every time.

The thing is it seems that I may have developed an obsession with carrier collecting!

I went to my first KangaTraining class last week and, as the Baby Bjorn is not suitable for that, I had to borrow one of their Manducas. Well… I might just need one of those too! There are so many great options available and now Chekoh are now teasing me with their soon to be released ring slings…

Oh my, I may have a problem!

But it wasn’t until recently that I realised just how much of a big deal this baby wearing stuff is.

I went to the ‘Babes in Arms’ session at the movies to see Magic Mike XXL (I know, excellent parenting right there!) and I wore my Chekoh figuring that Jesse would sleep throughout the movie and I’d avoid the need to take a pram (which I still do use by the way). In the parents room afterwards a fellow mum asked me which wrap I was using. When I told her this prompted a several minute long conversation about wraps, carriers and baby wearing. It was fascinating. She told me about the local baby wearing community on Facebook and suggested I join my local group.

I did and was slightly freaked out at first. It’s like a exclusive society complete with secret handshake! But it appears to be an extremely supportive community and a really great way for mums to feel a part of something positive unlike so much of the ‘mummy mafia’ beahaviour out there nowadays.

So I suppose I’m officially part of the club. But, as a newbie, I’d love to hear from my fellow baby wearing enthusiasts.

What’s your favourite way to wear your Bub?

And if you haven’t tried baby wearing yet, give it a go. But beware, it’s addictive!

New Mum Reminder: Go Easy on Yourself!

Renee BartonLeave a comment

Our little man is two months old today. He is getting so big and changing every day.

As we get caught up in the daily rituals of nappies and meal times it feels like Jesse has been apart of our family for longer than he has. Sometimes this can lead to disappointment that I don’t quite have it all together all of the time.

Then I am reminded not be so hard on myself, after all it has only been 8 weeks!

So here are some things I think I need to be reminded of. Perhaps you can relate to some of these or add a few of your own…

  1. You are still new at this and that’s OK! You’re not expected to have it all figured out just yet. So your baby likes to be cuddled while he sleeps. He has a textbook breastfeed one time and then doesn’t want a bar of it the next. The dishes are piling up in the sink and you can’t remember the last time you cleaned the loo. Just go with it.  A stressed out Mum will only result in a stressed out bub.
  2. Some other areas of your life may have fallen by the wayside but it’s only temporary. I know you have high expectations of yourself and want to be able to be ‘Super Mum’ and do it all, all of the time. And in time you probably will. But for now, just relax and enjoy this special time. Baby steps are still progress even if it is slower than you might like.
  3. You may catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and wonder who the hell that fat, tired person is glaring back at you, but give yourself a break. You just had a baby for goodness sake! Yes there are some wobbly bits and lumps and bumps where there wasn’t before. Just focus on being healthy and happy for now and your body will soon follow.
  4. So those formula top ups you thought were temporary are still going, so what! Your baby is happy and healthy and that is all that matters. Remember this, each and every breastfeed, even if it is for just a few minutes, is doing wonders for your baby. Don’t be ashamed that you also have to give your baby bottles. You might feel like everyone is judging you but in fact other mums are probably thinking ‘Thank God, its not just me’!
  5. Trust your instincts. Sleep routines, controlled crying methods, co-sleeping, bed sharing, breasts, bottles, dummies, disposable nappies, cloth nappies, baby wearing; it seems everyone has an opinion about everything and there are so many concepts and ideas out there that at times, it can be very overwhelming. Just do what feels right. And if in the end it doesn’t work out, well, just try something else.

Just remember ‘this too shall pass’. That is both a blessing and a curse. Yes waking up several times throughout the night and a baby that won’t sleep for more than an hour on his own will eventually be things of the past. But so will those sleepy snuggles and those goofy gummy grins. So try to enjoy it all; the good, the bad and the sleep deprived.

be-a-good-mum

As women we can often be our own worst enemy. And as mothers we are often each others. Let’s cut ourselves some slack and while we are at it, be nicer to each other as well.

Breast or bottle, disposable or cloth, controlled crying or attachment parenting – no matter how we are doing it we are all going through the same things and just trying to be the best Mums we can be.

So try to be kinder to yourself and while you’re at it, give a smile or a word of encouragement to fellow Mum. It might be all she needs to brighten an otherwise stressful or frustrating day.

First Week of Work Wrap-Up

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

So I officially made it through my first week back at work after my paternity leave.

Was it tough? Yes and no…

That very first Monday morning was the hardest. Having to get up at 5am for the first time in 7 weeks was hard. Having to leave Renee and Jesse for the day for the first time in 7 weeks was even harder!

But I must admit that it didn’t take me long to get back into the groove of working life.

What made the transition easy is the fact that I work with a great group of people. The team at work made me feel amazing getting back into work life, and it was a real pleasure having everyone come up asking about Jesse and how he is going.

The biggest surprise was that I never really felt tired while I was at work. Toward the end of the week, Thursday and Friday, I was feeling tired earlier in the night. But I seemed to cope fairly well while I was at work. I have to send out a huge thank you to Renee for this fact, as she is the one who gets up during the night to tend to Jesse so that I can get a good nights sleep for work the next day.

It is nearly 12pm on Sunday, and I fell like I am definitely making the most of my days at home by spending as much time as a I can with Renee and Jesse. This is more important than ever now, considering my time with them is somewhat limited during the week.

It makes me wonder how other new dads cope trying to get the best work/life balance they can with a newborn.

If you are a new dad out there, what are your experiences in trying get a good work/life balance with a newborn?

I will say this, one of the biggest things that gets me through my work day is knowing that at the end, I get to see this little guy again!

Work Post

10 Thoughts of a Sleep Deprived Mum During Night Feeds

Renee BartonLeave a comment

I’m sure other Mum’s will agree that we can have some pretty weird and wonderful thoughts when we are awake through the night tending to our little ones.

It is a special time. The rest of the house is quiet and dark. Baby cuddles up to you and stares lovingly at you with their big blue eyes whilst guzzling their midnight snack. But its not all warm and fuzzy. Literally! It has been pretty cold in Brisbane lately, peeling back the doona is even more difficult now and don’t even mention having to get your boobs out in the cold night air! It can be downright frustrating too. When all you want to do is sleep but baby is cranky, hungry, wet, cold, hot….and its your job to figure out which of these it is so that you can both get back to sleep as soon as possible.

So, here are 10 thoughts I’m sure we’ve all have whilst fulfilling this motherly duty.

  1. My life sucks right now.
  2. Has it been 3 hours already??
  3. Shit its cold!
  4. Awww….look at my husband sound asleep completely oblivious to everything….asshole!
  5. I am the luckiest Mummy in the world….and boy do I make cute babies!
  6. My life is awesome right now.
  7. I wonder what is happening on Facebook at 3am…..hmmm, not much!
  8. Ok, please settle so we can get back to sleep now.
  9. I’m sooo bloody tired! OMG, am I ever going to sleep though the night again ever?!
  10. Great, we’re done….well at least until you wake me up again in a few hours time and we do it all again.

All jokes aside, we wouldn’t have it any other way would we mums? As we pat their backs and kiss their faces and smell their heads, we know we are the luckiest (albeit tired-est) mummies in the world.

Thoughts during the night

Thoughts On Going Back To Work

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

So it’s Sunday 12 July, 2015. Tomorrow, I head back to work after having the last 7 weeks off for the birth of our little Jesse Jack Barton.

Oh dear… To say I am a little unprepared for my return to work is probably an understatement.

The past 7 weeks have been absolutely amazing. It’s been nothing but an absolute joy getting to know our little Jesse and getting used to life as a new family of 3. It’s been 7 weeks of getting out of bed when my eyes open… Sitting back and watching Jesse all day everyday… Being able to do what we want as a family during the week…

But come Monday, it’s back to the daily grind.

It’s going to be tough getting back into the routine of heading off to work early and coming home late. It makes me wonder how other new dads out there have handled that transition of being on leave with a new baby to going back to work.

The one thing I am going to miss the most, is being able to spend so much time with Renee and Jesse. Spending time as a new family. Especially because Renee has the rest of the year off. Which also makes my transition a little easier because I know that she will be there for Jesse while she continues her journey of being a new mum.

I will say that heading back to work won’t be too hard (despite the early mornings, as I said before), as the people I work with are great. I’ve built some good relationships with my work colleagues. And I’m not one of these people who hates where I work.

Work

I know that I will have plenty of support and sympathy from my work mates during my first week back. Many of my colleagues have kids, so I know that the first couple of days will be full of catch ups and photo sharing and sifting through emails. I also know that if I fall asleep at my desk, I won’t get in too much trouble. They may even just let me nap.

In all seriousness, I know that I need to go back to work. While I love being at home and spending time with my new family, I know that I now need to take on the responsibility of providing for my family. I need to be the one that works to make sure that Renee can spend as much time at home with our little Jesse as possible.

I know that Renee won’t mind that I am heading off early to work and getting home late. Because in the end, we will be able to spend important time as a family down the track.

Just don’t talk to me when I wake up on Monday morning at 5am!!! Maybe just give me a couple of hours…

Photo Friday: Who Does Jesse Look Like?

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

So right from the start, many if not all of the visitors we got in the early days said that Jesse was a spitting image of me. It certainly looked that way. Blonde hair, blue eyes, big nose.

But the more time passes, more people are saying that he is now looking more like Renee.

So we visited both our parents houses and went hunting through old baby photos of ourselves to try and see if we could find any that would be good to use as a comparison. And so below, we have 4 photos to compare. Photos of both Renee and I as babies with photos of Jesse at the same age (in days/weeks).

Have a look for yourselves and let us know who you think Jesse looks like… Mummy or daddy?

Jesse and Kaine:Kaine and Jesse

Jesse and Renee:
Renee and Jesse

An Open Letter to Dads Returning to Work

Renee Barton3 Comments

Next week Kaine will be returning to work and I am nervous to say the least.  I am wondering how I am going to handle things on my own without someone to share nappy duty with, without the chest which Jesse loves to fall asleep on and without someone to keep up the housework and bring me things when I’m breastfeeding.  But most of all how I’m going to cope without my person with me, my best friend, my husband.

But as hard as it will be for me, I know it will be even more difficult for him to leave us every morning and spend a large part of the day away from us.  Especially after enjoying such precious family time over the last 7 weeks.

So here are my words to my husband about his returning to work. Perhaps there are other women that feel this way about their spouse also so this is my open letter to working Dads.

To My Dear Husband,

The time we have spent together recently has been so special. The opportunity to be together every day as a new family while we navigate the challenges and joys of being parents has been incredible. I didn’t know I could love you more than I already did but seeing you as a Dad and the way you are with our baby, and with me, has deepened my love for you in ways I could not have anticipated.

But soon you will be returning to work. I know this will be difficult for you and that you will wish you were at home with us but I want you to know that work is exactly where your family needs you to be, at least for now.

Each day you leave our house please know that we love you and appreciate all you do to provide for us and ensure we are happy and healthy. We will miss you and the moment you arrive home will be our favourite part of the day.

Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to continue staying at home to care for our son. I know it is incredibly important to the both of us, and to us as a family, to be with him as much as possible and provide him with the best start in life.

So until a time when we are able to spend all of our days together again; we thank you.

Lovingly yours,

Wifey for Lifey

letter to dad

365 Project Update: How Are We Going?

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

So tomorrow will mark day 40 of ‘The 365 Project’. The big question being, how are we going?

For those who haven’t ventured through to that area of our website, simply put, the 365 Project is a brutally honest account of a year in the life of a new mum and a new dad.

The mission was simple. We will:

  • Over one whole year from the day our baby is born, chronicle our first year of parenthood through writings and photos.
  • Each journal something every day of Baby Barton’s first year of life, no excuses (no matter how sleep deprived)!
  • Each take a photo every day of Baby Barton’s first year of life, no excuses.
  • Not share our journal entries or photos with each other, until the day Baby Barton turns 1 (the end of the project).
  • At the conclusion of The 365 Project, compile and publish the journals and photos as two individual books titled ‘Not So Secret Life Of Us: A year in the life of a first time Dad’ and ‘Not So Secret Life Of Us: A year in the life of a first time Mum’.

So how are we going? Well, so far so good I think.

Life with a baby is sometimes pretty tough, especially for Renee who is up throughout the nights breastfeeding. But as of today, we have both stuck to our mission and have successfully taken a photo and written an entry every single day.

Collage 1

However, we are still both on leave from work which makes this whole chronicling our lives a little easier than it normally would. The real test is going to be when we finally climb out of this having a new baby bubble and go back to work and regular life starts getting in the way.

I think it’s going to be tough, but I think we will be able to do it. We may only be 40 days in, but I still feel as passionate about this project as when we started it on day 1!!!