Photo Friday: Melbourne Getaway

Last Friday, we packed our bags… Left the dog in the capable hands of Renee’s parents… Picked up Renee’s sister Lia and left for a plane headed to Melbourne.

It would be Jesse’s second trip to Melbourne in as many weeks! So needless to say, he was pretty excited.

We didn’t get much video footage while we were down there, but we got plenty of photos. And wow, what perfect weather to take photos. Melbourne really turned it on for us with glorious days the whole time we were down there.

Jesse had a blast. We had a blast. Lia and her boyfriend Matt had a blast…

We can’t wait to go back!

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The family arrives…
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Well hi there Melbourne! Nice to see you again. 🙂
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Someone is excited to be here!!!
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It’s hard to eat dinner when a certain someone falls asleep on you!
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M E L B O U R N E  N I G H T S ! ! !
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On of the things we love about Melbourne, is the street art!
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A quick picnic before we head back to the airport… and one hung over Matt!
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Last call before we board a flight back to Brisbane…

See you again soon Melbourne. See you again soon…

So sleep regression is a thing?

So, sleep regression is apparently a thing? A thing that happens to babies!

I never knew this…

I know about it now though. Not because I’m losing a lot of sleep. I’m losing some, but not a lot.

But I know about it mostly because poor Renee over the past nearly two weeks constantly feels like she has been run over by a truck. And she certainly isn’t shy when it comes to letting me know about it.

So with that, it would appear that Jesse is currently going through the 8 – 10 month sleep regression cycle. It’s common. But it’s tough.

Our once (fairly) good sleeper, has now turned into a monster when it comes to sleeping through the night. Monster is a strong word to use. But you get the drift.

Jesse had almost gotten to the point of sleeping through the night, waking maybe once or twice for some boob and then going back to sleep. Now however, after we think we’ve finally got him down for the night, he will wake up nearly hourly. But he doesn’t just wake up… he wakes up screaming and crying!

I hear him on occasions and it will wake me up. But poor Renee, is the one getting up to him to give him boob to calm him down. To give him cuddles to comfort him. To put him back to sleep only for her to have to get up again in another hour and do it all over again.

I know what you’re going to say, “Why don’t you take over for a night? Give Renee a break?”

I would… but it’s hard when Renee is the one with the boobs and that’s the only thing that’s going to calm him down at 3 am in the morning!

So with all that preamble, what I do want to say is this… Renee, I think you are amazing!

I think it’s amazing that you get up to him all night every night without wanting to wake me for help. I think you’re amazing that you can survive on so little sleep throughout the day without much complaint. I think you’re amazing for not blaming Jesse through this rough period because like me, you know he can’t help it. He’s just developing.

I think it’s amazing that you are able to do this night in and night out, when I would most likely have already cracked. I think that you’re an amazing super mum!

But I wan’t you to know that I am here for you. You can call on me for help. I want to help. Even if that’s just taking over Jesse duty throughout the day so that you can have a rest.

Don’t let it get you down though… this period will pass soon enough. And then we will have our sleepy bubba back.

I love you.

Sleep Regression

Diary of a Lonely Dad: Day 1

Dear Diary,

This morning, I dropped Renee and Jesse off at the airport.

They are heading down to Melbourne together for a course that Renee is doing for her new business that she will be starting in February.

This is the last photo I have of them…

Airport Drop Off

So far today, without them, my day has looked like this:

  1. Played some GTA V on the Playstation.
  2. Took a trip to Bunnings.
  3. Sprayed Weed and Feed on the lawn.
  4. Picked up the dog s***.
  5. Washed some clothes.
  6. Vacuumed and mopped the floors.
  7. Played some more GTA V on the Playstation.
  8. Went to Dan Murphy’s for beer.
  9. Updated my 365 diary.
  10. And now writing this post.

I’m kind of lost on what to do now. Do I play more GTA V? Do I watch a movie? Do I drink in the dark by myself, wallowing in the misery of not having Renee and Jesse here.

COME BACK… PLEASE COME BACK!!!

No, I’ll be fine.

NO, I MISS YOU BOTH TOO MUCH! I KNOW IT’S ONLY BEEN LIKE 8 HOURS, AND I’M GONE FOR LONGER WHEN I’M AT WORK… BUT I NEED YOU.

Nope, It’s fine Kaine. You can do this. There’s meals in the fridge. You’re going to work all week. So that will keep you occupied. You’ve got seasons 1 to 5 of Game of Thrones to watch. You will be fine.

BUT I MISS THEM!

Come on… Pull yourself together man!

I’M TRYING!!!

Try harder!

OKAY.

Good… Now, go grab yourself another beer, and go watch some Game of Thrones or play some more GTA V. You love playing GTA V. Go on…

ALRIGHT… BUT ONLY BECAUSE YOU SAY SO.

Geez… What a loser. Only the first day and he is carrying on like this. God help us by the time we get to Wednesday!

-K

Photo Friday: Don’t Wake Grumpy

So this past week in the Barton household has been a tough one.

We’ve had teething issues… We’ve had high temperatures… We’ve had heat rash… We’ve had loss of appetite… We’ve had uncontrollable crying… We’ve had tantrums… We’ve had pushing bottles away… We’ve had up the backers…

We’ve had a cranky, tired, unsettled bubba who was quite obviously not dealing with the nasty effects of teething.

All that said though, when he falls asleep… He still looks like the cutest, most peaceful, wonderful little man I ever lay eyes on!

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We can’t wait for the poor little guy to get through this rough patch, getting back to his usual, happy go lucky self.

A (not so) terrible case of misktaken identity…

Ok… So you know that Delta Goodrem song ‘Mistaken Identity’? Yea… You know the one, where she croons to everyone that “it’s a terrible case… of mistaken identity.”

Well, that’s been our life for the past week. Although, I wouldn’t exactly call it a terrible case of mistaken identity… I’d probably call it a ‘not so’ terrible case of mistaken identity. Get it… not so terrible case… not so secret life… Okay, I’ll carry on.

So it all started one morning. Jesse woke us up, like normal. Well, I’m still on holidays so Jesse woke Renee up, like normal. And I slept in, like normal. Renee and Jesse came in to wake me up, like normal. We had breakfast, like normal. Jesse was glued to ABC Kids, like normal. Renee started telling me about how we had gotten a sh*t tonne of likes on our Facebook page overnight, not like normal.

Hang on, what’s happened here? Not only were we getting all these new likes on our Facebook page, but they were coming from all over the world. Canada. USA. Germany. Brazil. Mexico. UK.

We couldn’t figure it out. Then we got this inbox message to our Facebook page from one of our new likes, “OMG, I loved your blog about parent sex.”

And then the penny dropped.

Okay, so you may have read this little post about ‘parent sex’ recently. You know, just a little post. Nothing too major. A funny little ditty about trying to sneak in a quickie while the kids are occupied.

Oh who am I kidding… the SUPER ULTRA MEGA VIRAL POST Annoyed emojiabout ‘parent sex’! Insert ‘jealous that we didn’t come up with said post’ emoji here ->

So… as I was saying. This ‘parent sex’ post went mega viral just this past week, so much so that nearly every news network on the internet, worldwide, picked up the story and reported on it. News.com.au, Huffington Post, Tech Insider, Essential Baby, Pop Sugar, The Guardian, Lad Bible, The Sun, The Daily Mail… You name it, they reported on it.

Well, it turns out that the author of the parent sex post, has a blog on WordPress called… wait for it… ‘The not so secret life of us’. And it also turns out, that all the articles that have been written about this post have mentioned said blog. And it also happens, that our blog has a very similar name, ‘Not So Secret Life Of Us’ (there’s no ‘the’ at the beginning).

Well, after receiving that message over Facebook, we decided to head to Google to type in “the not so secret life of us blog” to see what happens. And as it turns out, our blog (what you’re reading right now) and our Facebook page turn up in the top 3 results.

So as a result of all these articles, our Facebook likes have increased by over 100 in the past week… Alas, our not so terrible case of mistaken identity.

The funny thing is, we constantly brain storm ideas for our blog posts, and one of the things that we always talk about is how great it would be for one of them to go viral. Well, it turns out that we went viral without even lifting a finger. How funny is that!!!

Now I know what you’re probably thinking… How dare you piggy back off someone else’s work? Well, while we may be receiving some benefits of this small case of mistaken identity, the actual authors Facebook page has risen by tens of thousands of likes, so the measly 100 that we’ve picked up, is hardly a blip on the radar.

We also wrote a post on our Facebook page letting people know that we weren’t the authors of the parent sex blog, and linking the actual author in the post too.

So as far as all these new likes go, we are happy to take them… and we can only hope that they see value in the posts we write and the content we produce.

So after all that, and after the likes on our page have trickled back to a a few new ones a day now, all I can say is… Renee and I are off to have some parent sex of our own.

Oh, and if you haven’t read the original parent sex post, check it out on the authors Facebook page here.

12 Days of Vlogmas – A Glimpse Into The Life Of A Daily Vlogger

So we have been filming and uploading daily vlogs to our YouTube channel now for nearly a week. And wow… what a week it has been. I mean, who would have thought that daily vlogging could be so exciting but at the same time so tiring…

To give you some background, we decided to take part in what has become to be known as “Vlogmas” around the YouTube traps, after seeing some of our favourite YouTubers decide to take part in it. So what is it? Well essentially, it’s committing to upload a vlog (video blog for those who are uninitiated) style video to YouTube every day, for a nominated period over Christmas.

Awesome! That sounds like a great idea! That’s definitely something we should get on board with. Let’s call ours… ‘The 12 Days of Vlogmas’. Surely 12 days of videos won’t be too hard to accomplish.

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Well apparently, as we ourselves have found out, it can be a lot harder than it seems!

I can safely say that I now have new found respect and admiration for the daily vloggers that we watch on YouTube. Especially those who haven’t missed a single day of uploading in years. I don’t know how they manage it.

Uploading daily videos to YouTube brings with it a lot of work… as we have since found out.

There’s remembering to charge the camera batteries each night and then making sure you take the cameras with you each day. There’s trying to keep your videos interesting for people to watch. There’s filming the footage you want to use (which can come with some public embarrassment) and then there’s the editing and upload process.

It can be exhausting. Especially due to the fact that we also have the responsibility of caring for a 6 month old that demands so much of our attention at the moment.

But in saying all that, we were well aware heading into ‘The 12 Days of Vlogmas’, of the work that goes into creating daily vlogs for YouTube. By that, I mean that we are no strangers to daily vlogging. We did daily vlogs whilst on our Euro Trip (watch our Euro Trip playlist here). The difference however, is that we were on holidays… we were relaxed… we were baby-less… and we had a lot of time to do whatever we wanted.

But that said, after the initial shock to the system of having to edit and upload a vlog everyday, I now find myself getting more and more excited during the editing process. I find that our editing skills are getting better and better as we do more and more videos. And I am getting more and more excited about what adventures we will get to film the next day.

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I find that as we get deeper into our Vlogmas journey, I am finding pleasure in the fact that we are challenging ourselves to come up with new and more interesting things to do and film each day. And I love that it’s getting us out and about doing things we normally wouldn’t do.

I love the fact that we are filming, even if it’s just for archival purposes, our days in the lead up to Jesse’s first Christmas. How good is it going to be for Jesse to watch these videos back when he’s a first time dad going through the same thing with his first born!

I love that we are constantly improving our filming style and our vision for better shots. And that we are constantly improving our video editing skills. I love the fact that I am enjoying the editing process more and more as I continue to experiment and evolve and create better content that I am really proud of.

Despite the fact that ‘The 12 Days of Vlogmas’ has been overwhelming at times… I absolutely love doing it.

And I cannot wait to see what tomorrow video will be!!!

The Four Gift Rule

This Christmas, is our first as parents.

This Christmas, is Jesse’s first.

This Christmas, is not going to be like any other Christmas’ we have ever had before… and we can’t wait!

Christmas with children is fun. We’ve seen the movies! And we remember what Christmas was like when we we’re kids. It was the best time of year! Waking up to find all the presents Santa had delivered, under the Christmas tree waiting for us to open them.

And even spending time with some of our family who have kids. Just seeing the absolute joy on their faces at Christmas time when they get to open Christmas gifts from Santa and loved ones.

But how much is too much? How do you not go too overboard when getting gifts for your children.

I was recently talking to my sister-in-law who told me about this great tradition that they’ve implemented for gift giving at Christmas. The four gift rule.

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When we were talking about it, I absolutely loved the idea of the four gift rule. For a lot of reasons, but mainly because it’s a simple tradition that we can start this Christmas, and keep for many more Christmas’ to come!

So what are your favourite Christmas traditions?

We would love to hear all about how other families spend Christmas and any traditions you have.

 

Our Biggest Parenting Challenge Yet

In the past, both on this blog and in general conversation with people we know, we have often talked about how Jesse is a really cruisy baby. And about how lucky we have been because he’s such a happy baby.

“Nah, he hardly ever cries”, we would say. “He’s a pretty chilled baby”.

Well, all that has changed. Our once chilled, happy, easy going baby has turned into a restless, upset, cranky, screaming bubba that is often hard to settle. The culprit? Based on all the evidence we have and research we’ve undertaken, the most likely explanation is that he is starting to go through teething.

So with that, I would like to say that this past week of parenting for us, has been hard. Hard because after becoming accustomed to having such a happy, well behaved baby for the better part of the past 6 months, it has been a little difficult coming to terms with and adjusting to a baby that is cranky and unsettled a lot of the time.

But while it has been hard for us both, it has been especially hard for Renee. When you are a stay-at-home mum and have a baby that demands your full attention for so much of the day and night, it can start to take its toll. But Renee has soldiered on. Being a pillar of support for Jesse and also being a rock for me when I get stressed. And for this reason, words can’t even begin to express my gratitude toward Renee for this.

That said, there is one (huge) thing that both Renee and I need to consider and reflect on. And that is that Jesse is not doing this just for the hell of it. He is not putting us through our paces as parents just because he feels like it. Jesse is genuinely upset, unhappy, and in pain.

When he is uncontrollably crying and just won’t settle down no matter what we try. It’s because he is in discomfort and in pain.

When he keeps waking up every couple of hours during the night because he is unsettled. It’s because he just wants a cuddle and to be comforted.

When he won’t settle in my arms no matter what I do, but will stop crying when he gets his mummy. I need to realise that it’s not that he doesn’t like me. It’s just that he wants his mummy at that moment. Mostly I think, because mummy has the boobs.

And when he won’t take his bottle no matter how many different ways we try to give it to him. It’s because his gums are sensitive and hurt. But taking comfort in knowing that he is still getting nourishment through puree’s and mummy’s boobs.

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We know that babies have limited communication skills. So when it comes to communicating with mums and dads, the only thing babies can really do is cry. And for this reason, we do know that for the moment, the constant crying and unsettled nature is just his way of communicating that something is just not quite right.

I will at this point say this. We aren’t naive about the struggles of having a newborn. We are well aware that there will be parents out there that have had unsettled babies since they were born. Babies with colic. Babies with reflux. The fact that we are going through this rough patch isn’t even a blip compared to what some parents go through with their own babies.

And these parents in our eyes, deserve to be commended. We can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like to have a baby that cries all the time. You must be super parents to be able to navigate your way through the days with a constantly unsettled bubba.

I hereby dub you ‘Super Mum’ and ‘Super Dad’! High five!

I know that the mere fact we have had such a happy and healthy baby leading up to this dreaded teething period has been an absolute blessing. And really, in the grand scheme of things, we really don’t have anything to complain about. And despite the fact that he is going through an unsettled period, he still does give us glimpses of his usual self (happy go lucky Jesse), he is healthy, and he is still bloody cute.

But it’s still tough… Being first time parents and never experiencing this before, ever, and trying to get a grasp of and work through this rough period with Jesse is tough. But I have absolute faith that together, as a unit, we are strong and will work through it and come out the other side with an even happier baby than we had before.

And to all my fellow mums and dads out there (especially the first timers)… we got this! We can do this! And if there is only one thing that you get from this post, I hope it’s that you are not alone in your struggles! Everyone goes through rough patches.

So let’s support each other and get through this together!

We got this!

Footage Friday: YouTube Trailer

As you would know by now, as part of our ‘Not So Secret Life Of Us’ project and blog, we have our own YouTube channel.

Well, one of the projects that we kept putting off, was our NSSLOU YouTube Trailer. This is basically a video that any new visitors to our YouTube channel will be presented with, giving them a snapshot into our lives and what our channel is all about.

And can we just say, that we are absolutely stoked with how it’s turned out!

We went through all of our old footage dating right back to when we were first married… and combined it into a 3min long highlight reel of our lives so far. So check the video out below, and while you’re at it, go hit us up on YouTube and leave us a like, a comment and subscribe… 😉

Peace out! (I think we need to come up with a better sign off… hahaha…)

The Power of Positive Parenting

The other week, I had the pleasure of attended a number of seminars for work based around health and wealth. One of the sessions I was grateful for the opportunity to attend on the day, was called ‘The Power of Positive Parenting’.

This session, which was presented by Professor Matt Sanders, was about an initiative called the Positive Parenting Program (Triple P). More specifically, what it is… how it works… how we can get involved… and how it can benefit families with young children.

So what is Triple P? Well, if you look at the official website it says that “Triple P helps you manage your child’s behaviour, emotions and development in a way that isn’t hurtful. You will build strong relationships, communicate well and encourage the kind of behaviour you want to see. Triple P is one of the few parenting programs in the world with evidence to show it works for most families.”

It certainly sounded like Triple P was something that both Renee and I would be interested in, particularly because it seemed to reflect our own thoughts and feelings on the style of parenting we wanted to implement in Jesse’s upbringing.

The Triple P website mentions that when implementing the positive parenting program, there are five key principles. These principles are:

  1. Create a safe, interesting environment
  2. Have a positive learning environment
  3. Use assertive discipline
  4. Have realistic expectations
  5. Take care of yourself as a parent

At the session, Professor Sanders was able to expand on what these principles are, and what they involve for parents looking to raise their children in a safe and positive environment. And with every principle he covered, I started to admire the Triple P philosophy and program more and more. It really got me thinking about the discussions Renee and I have had regarding how we wanted to approach parenting. I then began to see how this positive parenting approach could work in with our approach.

Professor Sanders also covered off on a lot of parenting examples that are taught through the Triple P program. And while they are certainly too long to list in a blog post, the examples he gave really spoke to me. A lot of these examples were things that Renee and I had previously discussed, with the intention of implementing them into our parenting style and approach.

Things like the fact that a lot of positive praise is okay!

That you make family a priority and make sure you give your children your full attention at least once every day. Even if it is only for a couple of minutes, while they show you something they have done.

Encourage your child’s learning. Don’t solve every problem for them. Talk to them and run through how they might be able to solve it on their own.

Use consistent and assertive discipline. Don’t be aggressive. If they do misbehave, ask them questions like “how do you think what you just did impacts on others?”

And always create a warm, loving and safe environment which encourages your children to shine.

While I have often heard of being a peaceful parent, I will admit that this session was the first time I had heard of the term, being a positive parent. And while many of the strategies and principles may be very similar between these two parenting styles, I really think that a blend of the two is what Renee and I are aiming for with our parenting approach to Jesse.

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And while I can sit here as I type this and say that yes, this is absolutely the strategy that Renee and I are going to use in raising Jesse… the fact is that we will still get things wrong. We will still make mistakes. And we also understand that parenting needs to be fluid. You might have a parenting game plan, but you will need to adapt and be willing to make it up on the fly.

But what we have both come to realise, is that having a good foundation to build upon is a great way to approach parenting. And that is what Triple P is offering. A foundation for us to build upon. Somewhere to start. Because being that we are new parents, this is a whole new world for us.

And the best thing of all, is the information we have that is right at our fingertips. Available on-line. Anywhere… Any time… The perfect companion while we tackle this epic new adventure of being first time parents.

And while this whole parenting thing at the moment is pretty much a breeze (on account of the fact that Jesse is still just a little too young to be rebelling against anything except for pureed sweet potato), I know that the strategies we learn today through the Triple P program, will come in very handy in the future.

There is one thing I know for sure though. And that is that I am very excited about raising Jesse to be the man that I know he can and will be.