Photo Friday: Documenting A Love Story

July 31, 2015July 31, 2015 Renee Barton1 Comment

The first time we worked with our photographer (and great friend) Renee Trubai was last year when she asked us to be a part of her project ‘A Love Manifesto’. The project is all about documenting love in all its forms through photographs and conversations. We immediately fell in love with the idea and couldn’t wait to be apart of it.

We chose a location that was very special to us, the beach where our wedding photos were taken. As we shared stories with Renee about our relationship and vision of the future, and the kind of parents we dreamed of being someday. I distinctly remember telling her that if we were not able to have children we would be OK because we had each other. What we didn’t say is that we had been trying for a baby for quite some time.

Deep beneath those words we spoke to Renee was actually a lot of heartache, frustration and disappointment. And by that stage I had actually begun coming to terms with the notion that it may not happen for us.

Little did we know that there were actually three of us in those photographs. We were in the very early days of pregnancy.

So needless to say, these pictures are incredibly special to us.

Do You Even Baby Wear Bro?

July 29, 2015July 29, 2015 Renee BartonLeave a comment

So, baby wearing is a big thing. Like, there are Facebook groups dedicated to it and everything!

And why not, it’s awesome!

I first became familiar with the concept when I was pregnant. I fell in love with Chekoh Carriers when I spotted them on social media and I couldn’t wait to get one. I really love the idea of the ‘fourth trimester’ and I thought that baby wearing was a great way to keep bub feeling safe and secure as well as being practical and super stylish with the Chekoh wraps.

It took several attempts (and about 37 views of the video) to get the hang of putting it on. And my bub was very small so it was tricky to get the tension just right. But now we (yes, Kaine loves to baby wear too!) have got it down to a fine art. Jesse loves it and so do we.

I then visited a friend while wearing the wrap and she mentioned that she uses a wrap like that when she goes out and a Baby Bjorn at home. I thought that seemed like a good arrangement and by the next day I was the proud owner of a near new one I found on Gumtree.

It certainly makes doing chores around the home much easier and the little man loves it, falling asleep almost instantly every time.

The thing is it seems that I may have developed an obsession with carrier collecting!

I went to my first KangaTraining class last week and, as the Baby Bjorn is not suitable for that, I had to borrow one of their Manducas. Well… I might just need one of those too! There are so many great options available and now Chekoh are now teasing me with their soon to be released ring slings…

Oh my, I may have a problem!

But it wasn’t until recently that I realised just how much of a big deal this baby wearing stuff is.

I went to the ‘Babes in Arms’ session at the movies to see Magic Mike XXL (I know, excellent parenting right there!) and I wore my Chekoh figuring that Jesse would sleep throughout the movie and I’d avoid the need to take a pram (which I still do use by the way). In the parents room afterwards a fellow mum asked me which wrap I was using. When I told her this prompted a several minute long conversation about wraps, carriers and baby wearing. It was fascinating. She told me about the local baby wearing community on Facebook and suggested I join my local group.

I did and was slightly freaked out at first. It’s like a exclusive society complete with secret handshake! But it appears to be an extremely supportive community and a really great way for mums to feel a part of something positive unlike so much of the ‘mummy mafia’ beahaviour out there nowadays.

So I suppose I’m officially part of the club. But, as a newbie, I’d love to hear from my fellow baby wearing enthusiasts.

What’s your favourite way to wear your Bub?

And if you haven’t tried baby wearing yet, give it a go. But beware, it’s addictive!

New Mum Reminder: Go Easy on Yourself!

July 22, 2015July 22, 2015 Renee BartonLeave a comment

Our little man is two months old today. He is getting so big and changing every day.

As we get caught up in the daily rituals of nappies and meal times it feels like Jesse has been apart of our family for longer than he has. Sometimes this can lead to disappointment that I don’t quite have it all together all of the time.

Then I am reminded not be so hard on myself, after all it has only been 8 weeks!

So here are some things I think I need to be reminded of. Perhaps you can relate to some of these or add a few of your own…

You are still new at this and that’s OK! You’re not expected to have it all figured out just yet. So your baby likes to be cuddled while he sleeps. He has a textbook breastfeed one time and then doesn’t want a bar of it the next. The dishes are piling up in the sink and you can’t remember the last time you cleaned the loo. Just go with it. A stressed out Mum will only result in a stressed out bub.
Some other areas of your life may have fallen by the wayside but it’s only temporary. I know you have high expectations of yourself and want to be able to be ‘Super Mum’ and do it all, all of the time. And in time you probably will. But for now, just relax and enjoy this special time. Baby steps are still progress even if it is slower than you might like.
You may catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and wonder who the hell that fat, tired person is glaring back at you, but give yourself a break. You just had a baby for goodness sake! Yes there are some wobbly bits and lumps and bumps where there wasn’t before. Just focus on being healthy and happy for now and your body will soon follow.
So those formula top ups you thought were temporary are still going, so what! Your baby is happy and healthy and that is all that matters. Remember this, each and every breastfeed, even if it is for just a few minutes, is doing wonders for your baby. Don’t be ashamed that you also have to give your baby bottles. You might feel like everyone is judging you but in fact other mums are probably thinking ‘Thank God, its not just me’!
Trust your instincts. Sleep routines, controlled crying methods, co-sleeping, bed sharing, breasts, bottles, dummies, disposable nappies, cloth nappies, baby wearing; it seems everyone has an opinion about everything and there are so many concepts and ideas out there that at times, it can be very overwhelming. Just do what feels right. And if in the end it doesn’t work out, well, just try something else.

Just remember ‘this too shall pass’. That is both a blessing and a curse. Yes waking up several times throughout the night and a baby that won’t sleep for more than an hour on his own will eventually be things of the past. But so will those sleepy snuggles and those goofy gummy grins. So try to enjoy it all; the good, the bad and the sleep deprived.

be-a-good-mum

As women we can often be our own worst enemy. And as mothers we are often each others. Let’s cut ourselves some slack and while we are at it, be nicer to each other as well.

Breast or bottle, disposable or cloth, controlled crying or attachment parenting – no matter how we are doing it we are all going through the same things and just trying to be the best Mums we can be.

So try to be kinder to yourself and while you’re at it, give a smile or a word of encouragement to fellow Mum. It might be all she needs to brighten an otherwise stressful or frustrating day.

Photo Friday: How Cute is a Sleeping Baby

July 17, 2015July 17, 2015 Renee BartonLeave a comment

Everyone loves the beautiful sight that is a sleeping baby.

Here are a few of our favourite sleepy bubba (and sleepy parent!) pics so far.

Jesse at about 2 days old. We love this photo so much because it shows what he would have looked like when sleeping in Mummy’s tummy.

Mummy and Jesse catching up on some sleep together on the lounge during his first few days at home.

With a tummy full of milk, sleep follows shortly after.

Jesse’s favorite place to sleep is on Daddy’s chest. Daddy often catches a few zzz’s as well.

This is one of Jesse’s favourite sleeping poses. The Thinker.

10 Thoughts of a Sleep Deprived Mum During Night Feeds

July 15, 2015July 15, 2015 Renee BartonLeave a comment

I’m sure other Mum’s will agree that we can have some pretty weird and wonderful thoughts when we are awake through the night tending to our little ones.

It is a special time. The rest of the house is quiet and dark. Baby cuddles up to you and stares lovingly at you with their big blue eyes whilst guzzling their midnight snack. But its not all warm and fuzzy. Literally! It has been pretty cold in Brisbane lately, peeling back the doona is even more difficult now and don’t even mention having to get your boobs out in the cold night air! It can be downright frustrating too. When all you want to do is sleep but baby is cranky, hungry, wet, cold, hot….and its your job to figure out which of these it is so that you can both get back to sleep as soon as possible.

So, here are 10 thoughts I’m sure we’ve all have whilst fulfilling this motherly duty.

My life sucks right now.
Has it been 3 hours already??
Shit its cold!
Awww….look at my husband sound asleep completely oblivious to everything….asshole!
I am the luckiest Mummy in the world….and boy do I make cute babies!
My life is awesome right now.
I wonder what is happening on Facebook at 3am…..hmmm, not much!
Ok, please settle so we can get back to sleep now.
I’m sooo bloody tired! OMG, am I ever going to sleep though the night again ever?!
Great, we’re done….well at least until you wake me up again in a few hours time and we do it all again.

All jokes aside, we wouldn’t have it any other way would we mums? As we pat their backs and kiss their faces and smell their heads, we know we are the luckiest (albeit tired-est) mummies in the world.

An Open Letter to Dads Returning to Work

July 8, 2015 Renee Barton3 Comments

Next week Kaine will be returning to work and I am nervous to say the least. I am wondering how I am going to handle things on my own without someone to share nappy duty with, without the chest which Jesse loves to fall asleep on and without someone to keep up the housework and bring me things when I’m breastfeeding. But most of all how I’m going to cope without my person with me, my best friend, my husband.

But as hard as it will be for me, I know it will be even more difficult for him to leave us every morning and spend a large part of the day away from us. Especially after enjoying such precious family time over the last 7 weeks.

So here are my words to my husband about his returning to work. Perhaps there are other women that feel this way about their spouse also so this is my open letter to working Dads.

To My Dear Husband,

The time we have spent together recently has been so special. The opportunity to be together every day as a new family while we navigate the challenges and joys of being parents has been incredible. I didn’t know I could love you more than I already did but seeing you as a Dad and the way you are with our baby, and with me, has deepened my love for you in ways I could not have anticipated.

But soon you will be returning to work. I know this will be difficult for you and that you will wish you were at home with us but I want you to know that work is exactly where your family needs you to be, at least for now.

Each day you leave our house please know that we love you and appreciate all you do to provide for us and ensure we are happy and healthy. We will miss you and the moment you arrive home will be our favourite part of the day.

Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to continue staying at home to care for our son. I know it is incredibly important to the both of us, and to us as a family, to be with him as much as possible and provide him with the best start in life.

So until a time when we are able to spend all of our days together again; we thank you.

Lovingly yours,

Wifey for Lifey

Photo Friday: Tiny Toes

July 3, 2015July 3, 2015 Renee BartonLeave a comment

We are still fascinated by Jesse’s tiny fingers and toes and spend much of our days marvelling at his cuteness and kissing his delicious little face, hands and feet.

Close To My Heart

July 1, 2015July 1, 2015 Renee Barton1 Comment

If your news feed is anything like mine this past week it has been filled with pride rainbows and celebrations of the US’ decision to legalise same sex marriage. Though I haven’t updated my profile photo with a rainbow, marriage equality is very close to my heart. I am absolutely an ally and 100% support the right for same-sex marriage.

I hold marriage in the highest esteem and it is something that is of the utmost importance to me. One of my most cherished roles is being a wife. And calling Kaine ‘my husband’ brings me such pride and happiness. I don’t believe that anyone should be denied that opportunity.

To me, marriage is so much more than a piece of paper or a wedding day (although weddings are awesome and everyone should have the opportunity to have their dream day!). It is a deep commitment and an exclusive promise to love and share your life with another human. It is having that one person, a partner in life, that you can truly be yourself with, grow with and share this crazy adventure we call life with.

It actually baffles me that this is even an issue in this day and age. Its pathetic!

From a young age I have had many gay people in my life, some of whom are my closest friends. And it breaks my heart that they are denied a basic human right like marrying the person they love. I was reminded of this recently when attending a friend’s wedding. It was such a beautiful, special occasion but as I looked around the room I became very aware that many people there were witness to an experience that they themselves can’t have… because its illegal… how ridiculous!

I don’t write this to spark some sort of debate as I honestly don’t believe there is one.

The simple fact is, there is no excuse for this stupidity any more. It’s time.

#LOVEWINS

Happy One Month Birthday

June 24, 2015June 24, 2015 Renee Barton3 Comments

We have a four week old baby. Yup, we have managed to navigate our way through parenthood for one whole month. And fairly successfully I would say.

Most say by the six week mark we will finally emerge from the haze that is life with a newborn. That sounds about right too as I don’t quite think we are there yet. However we have started to find a rhythm and even on the most difficult days there is still so much to be joyful about. Jesse is starting to smile a lot so that is all that we need to brighten our day and lift our spirits.

He is also starting to spend more time awake. Instead of just feeding and sleeping we now have a sprightly and curious bub for several hours a day. So we have been finding ways we can interact with him and help him develop.

You’ll find us giving Jesse a blow by blow of everything we are doing from changing his nappy and clothes to a running commentary of the Brisbane Broncos game.

And today we have pulled out his new play mat and a multitude of rattles and toys (all which were gifts from family and friends) so that we can start some play time with him.

I have no idea whether it is too early for all of that, but he already seemed to really like the shiny colours and interesting noises of the toys hanging across his carrier. And then it all must have got too much for him because he soon fell fast asleep. A win-win I suppose.

One Month Old Photo

I was hoping not to be one of those parents that wishes their child doesn’t grow up and instead just relish in every stage and every age. But even four weeks in I am starting to have those thoughts. He has already changed so much since he was born and pretty soon he will be too big for his 00000 clothes.

A reminder that no matter how monotonous or challenging some days may feel, this too shall pass. So drink it all in and cherish all the beautiful moments. And the tough ones too.

The Lonely Hours

June 17, 2015June 17, 2015 Renee Barton5 Comments

Some nights can get pretty lonely when you’re up with a newborn. The repitition of feeding, changing and settling every few hours can be trying. Especially during those nights when all you want to do is sleep.

Don’t get me wrong, Kaine is absolutely supportive and a massive help. In fact, he couldn’t be more hands on both with Jesse and with keeping the household running. But there is only so much he can do without boobs! And we agreed from the beginning that it doesn’t make sense for us to both be sleep deprived so I take the night shift while he sleeps.

I know that I can wake him if I really need to but I try to avoid that. A well rested husband means he is able to help more during the day while he’s still home with us and it will be even more important once he goes back to work in a few weeks.

I know I am very lucky really. For the most part Jesse is really good through the night. He generally feeds well and now we get close to 3 hours sleep between feeds. But there are some tough times when he fusses at the breast or takes a long time to settle. And then there’s those pesky cluster feeds!

It’s during those times that I am comforted by the thought that other Mums all over the place, and even in the same street as me, are up doing exactly the same thing; looking after their beautiful babies and probably while their husband sleeps!

So my question to other Mums out there is, how do night shifts work in your house?

Let’s share our strategies and stories so we can all feel a little less alone when we are sitting with our boobs out at 3am on a winter night. And for all you Dads out there, we’d love to hear your perspective too.