Author: Renee Barton

Welcome to the Family

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Due Date Delivery

My due date started like most days did in my last couple of weeks of pregnancy. Fairly steady contractions throughout the wee hours of the morning as I lay in bed wondering if today was the day. However unlike most days, they didn’t stop. Even once I was out of bed and going about my morning the contractions continued. Mild, but enough to know they weren’t braxton hicks and steadily increasing in intensity.

I knew the odds of babies coming on their due date was slim, but I could only hope. It was my last 24 hours to have the baby with my sister still in the country.

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Well, he must have heard my prayers because just hours later, I was holding my baby boy. Once he decided it was time there was no stopping him. My contractions were getting stronger so at about 10.45am I started timing them. At 12.15pm we headed to the hospital and at 1.32pm Jasper James entered the world.

Our First Night

I was in a state of disbelief. From feeling like I was going to be pregnant forever to giving birth all within a few hours, I was definitely shell-shocked. Blissfully happy though.

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That afternoon, Jasper met his big brother and we had some family and friends visit. And when it was time for sleep, Jasper did just that. But I was still riding the wave of adrenaline. Between that, the hospital noise and the noisiest sleeping baby in the world, mama didn’t get much sleep that night.

By lunch time the following day we were bundled up in the car and headed home. Did they really just let us lose with a baby…again??

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One week on

When there is a newborn in the house the hours and days just seem to disappear. We have spent the week hauled up at home in a beautiful little love bubble. The days lost in a blur of feeding, changing, baby gazing, visitors and of course continuing to ‘maintain’ a toddler.

Jesse has adapted exceptionally well so far. He is very gentle with his baby brother and loves to give him kisses and touch his ears. We know it’s a big adjustment for him so we are mindful to be patient and carve out special time that is all about him.

Jasper is sleeping and feeding like a champ. In fact I couldn’t believe how quickly he took to breastfeeding and how good he was at it from birth. With over a kilo on his brothers birth weight, I suppose that is a benefit of a bigger baby.

Mum and Dad are both doing well and settling into our new way of life. One week post partum and I’m feeling better each day. My labour experience was another beautiful one, albeit faster and more intense. A bit of gas and my support team got me through and there were no complications or issues (polite way of saying everything remained intact!). They weren’t wrong though when they said after-birth pains are worse with subsequent births. Ouch!!

Almost immediately after birth, the banter of a third child started and is now an ongoing joke in our household. Time will tell who wins that one…

For now we are absolutely smitten with our two gorgeous boys are feel incredibly blessed.

Hello, due date…

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I know your expected due date is not the be all and end all. It’s just a guide. And in fact only a very small percentage of babies are born on their due date.

That is why I’m so surprised to still be pregnant. 40 weeks pregnant today.

I was so sure I would have a baby in my arms by now. Partly because my first baby was born in my 38th week of pregnancy and partly because by my “period maths” my due date was actually 10 days ago.

But alas, I have no baby to hold yet. Just a huge belly, the unmistakable saunter of a heavily pregnant woman and a very sore vagina!


Going overdue doesn’t bother me per say, I have no doubt that baby will come when it’s good and ready. Despite joking that I might just be pregnant forever! But what’s starting to wear me down is the pre labour I’ve been experiencing for two weeks now. 

Yup, I’ve been having contractions on and off for two weeks. More often than not in the wee hours of the morning so losing more and more sleep with each night. As if trying to sleep at full term wasn’t uncomfortable enough!

But the growing anticipation will surely only make that first meeting even more sweet. And maybe make the labour easier to bear as I will just be so bloody glad when it actually starts for real.

In the back of my mind though is the persistent thought that today is the last chance to have this baby before my sister leaves for her amazing overseas holiday for 5 weeks. She was present at my first birth and has such an incredible relationship with Jesse. I will be terribly sad if she not only misses out on those first newborn weeks but misses meeting baby before she leaves. No doubt she will make up for it on her return. 

Ultimately though, it is out of my hands and I know that things will unfold with divine and perfect timing.

Whenever you are ready my darling…

Waiting for Baby Barton Number Two

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A little under two years ago we published our first blog Waiting for Baby Barton . After a fairly lengthy TTC process, I was 37 weeks pregnant with our first baby and we were eagerly anticipating baby’s arrival.

Now that sweet baby boy is a cheeky toddler, two months shy of his second birthday and soon to be a big brother. And I am again 37 weeks pregnant.

It all seems so surreal. Some days I still can’t quite believe that within the next few weeks we will be a family of four and will have a tiny newborn again.

But then my giant belly, constant braxton hicks, aching back and constipation reminds me that it is in fact real! Oh the joys of the final month of pregnancy. When simple tasks of rolling over in bed, putting shoes on or bathing the toddler are like doing a workout. I love it though, and try to never take the blessing of pregnancy for granted.

It’s funny, it feels like so much has changed since last time and yet it’s so familiar too. Again wondering what will our baby look like? Will it be a boy or a girl? How and when will I go into labour? Will I be a good mum?

I guess it’s always the same questions no matter how many children you have.

But, the bassinet is ready and the baby clothes are washed and folded. The hospital bags are in various stages of packed and the car seat ready to be installed. Dad is counting down the days to his parental leave and keeping fingers crossed baby stays in until then. While Mum is savouring these last weeks of pregnancy and preparing mind and body for birth. All the while big brother is blissfully unaware of what’s to come.

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To you my big boy, mummy loves you so much. You will be the most wonderful big brother. It is a big responsibility being the eldest but I know you will take it all in your stride and continue to be the funny, loving, cheeky boy that you are.

And to my second little love curled up safely in my tummy, it will soon be time to come and meet us my precious one. Scary I know, but I promise it will all be okay and we will all be together soon.

Until then….we wait…

My Pregnancy ‘Survival’ Kit

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I am now well into the third trimester of pregnancy number two so I thought I would share some of my favorite things to use, do and have during pregnancy.

So, in no particular order here are some of my tips, tricks and favorite things for ‘surviving’ pregnancy.


Supplements

Now, it can be hard in those early days to just keep your breakfast down let alone a truck load of pills and potions, but optimum health is super important throughout pregnancy. Especially in those early days. I am a fairly avid vitamin taker anyway but I do switch it up slightly when pregnant.

I chose to take Nutriway. They are completely organic and actually contain food, plant and minerals; nothing synthetic which I love. Double X is my base daily habit to which I add Omega 3, Cal Mag (great for managing cramps and restless legs), Tri-Iron and Folic, Vitamin C (helps to absorb the iron and keep away nasty colds), Fruit & Veg (to supplement all the carbs and chocolate I’m inhaling) and Vitamin B if I need some extra energy. Admittedly, I haven’t taken Omega 3 since my first trimester because it was making me vomit… boo!

A Pregnancy Pillow

This is an absolute must! Now there are some super amazing, mega expensive options when it comes to maternity pillows. Mine however, is a humble body pillow that has seen three women through two pregnancies each so it is on its last legs. But it gets the job done. Perfect for supporting my belly as it grows and supporting my top leg to help keep hips aligned. It is a bit of an intimacy killer and takes up a fair bit of room in the bed, especially with husband, toddler and belly all fighting for space. But totally necessary for a good night sleep.

Exercise

I like to keep as fit as possible during pregnancy. I’m not a fitness junkie or anything but there are a few things I do to try to keep active (after all, it is all labour preparation!).

Obviously, being a post natal fitness instructor, Kangatraining is a regular part of my routine with two classes per week. I also do high intensity weight training (once a week is all I need) and I’ve done a bit of prenatal yoga which I’ll talk about a bit more later. When all else fails you can’t go wrong with walking, even if it’s at a snails’ pace and more like a waddle. I sometimes get cramps or braxton hicks when walking so I just take it easy.

Maternity Clothes

There are so many great brands out there now with gorgeous clothes for pregnant and nursing mothers. But some can be quite expensive. There are however, a few key pieces I rely on to get me through.

It has been a super hot summer here in Brisbane so my denim maternity shorts (one a cheapie pair from Kmart and the other slightly fancier pair from Jeans West) have been a definite wardrobe staple. I love a good maternity body con dress for when you need to dress up a little or just feel like showing off your bump. I have a casual one from Kmart and two from ASOS that are more fancy.

But I have to say what I have been living in the most is my Cadenshae active wear. The smoothie crop is so comfortable and perfect to double as a bikini top. And the bamboo casual tanks are the bees knees. Roomy enough to still fit my 33 week bump and easy to breastfeed in once bub arrives with extra large arm holes.

When it comes to active wear I also highly recommend the Enji maternity activewear pants and 2XU pregnancy compression tights.

Raspberry Leaf Tea

If you’re pregnant, you’ve probably heard about red raspberry leaf tea and it’s benefits as a uterine tonic. It is said that when taken during pregnancy, particularly in the third trimester, it can strengthen the mother’s immune system, ease morning sickness and help circulation. It’s believed to also help strengthen uterine muscles and tone the pelvic floor in preparation for childbirth.

Now, I don’t know if any of that is true but I drank it in my first pregnancy and it served me well with a relatively ‘easy’ birth and no pelvic floor or prolapse issues so I’m doing it again. Mama Body Tea has a great range of pregnancy and nursing teas, or I’ve also used brands from a health food store as well.

Me Time

During my first pregnancy with Jesse I had the luxury of time and had regular massages and monthly visits to the chiropractor. While that hasn’t happened this time I still think it is really important to give yourself permission to take time out for yourself to relax and bond with baby.

I especially love prenatal yoga and listening to guided meditations or hypnobirthing audios (you can find them on Apple music). They are both beautiful ways to slow down and connect with the baby while learning techniques for encouraging a calm and positive birth experience.

A relaxing bath, going for a walk or just laying down and enjoying the feeling of baby move are great too. I also love Bowen Therapy and am looking forward to trying a float tank very soon. Sounds like the perfect way to ease the strain of a growing belly on tired, achy muscles.

All the food

After my pregnancy with Jesse I promised I would have a better diet the second time around. Not that I was super bad with Jesse but I did indulge pretty much my every whim towards the end. I think because food was such a turn off in the first 3 months that I was making up for it in the last!

Well, it would seem that I have broken my promise and chocolate has become a food group unto itself lately. But you know what, I don’t care. I’m still eating plenty of healthy stuff too and exercising. So bugger it! I will eat all the food and if that means chocolate on the daily then so be it.

So there you have it. A few things that help me enjoy pregnancy as much as possible and start to prepare for birth.

What are your pregnancy must-haves?? I’d love to hear what you couldn’t live without during pregnancy.

 

Let’s talk about (Pregnancy) Sex, baby…

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We don’t often write about sex. After all, many of our readers are our relatives. But let’s be real, we are having our second baby so even our parents know we’ve had sex at least twice!

When you’ve been married a long time like we have, sex is fairly predictable. Not in a bad way by any means, you just know what works. You know each other’s needs so well you can pretty much just assume positions and get it done… so to speak.

It’s lovely and familiar and satisfying… But predictable.

But then something throws a spanner in the works. You’ve heard of parent sex right? You know, that ‘hurry up and get your pants off, the kids are finally occupied or asleep’ sex. The type of sex that’s more about speed and efficiency rather than foreplay, intimacy and taking ones time…

Well pregnancy sex is a whole other challenge entirely.  And pregnant-parent sex… well that’s just funny really.

It all started when we finally had our bed to ourselves again last night. Yes! Hurdle number one overcome. Jesse was asleep, and he was asleep in his own bed. Time to make the most of the opportunity. Who knows if (or when) he will wake up and want back into our bed!

However, we quickly realised hurdle number two. Pregnancy. You know that familiar and predictable yet satisfying sex we talked about earlier? Well, it no longer works when you’ve got a huge belly to accommodate. Just rolling over is a struggle let alone trying to be sexy and getting into a position that’s comfortable and…. ahem…. effective.

Oh well, not to be perturbed we pressed on.

Just when we think we’ve found our groove…..dammit… leg cramp. That’s ok. Let’s keep going. Shit… butt cramp. Hang on, let me roll over for a second.

“Ok, let’s try something else. What about we try getting into a position that’s more comfortable?” he says.

Yup, great… let’s do that! Again, not to be perturbed by mood killing cramps mid-session, we fumble our way in the dark. Only slightly resembling a beached whale and sea world rescuer.

Who cares! We press on with the knowledge we might not get the opportunity again for a while. And it’s only going to get more difficult! Initially by a larger bump as we head towards D-day, but then by being parents of two under two.

But as for last night, yes it was funny… no it wasn’t the most romantic time we’ve had. But we got the job done!

High fives all round because we just had pregnancy sex and it was awkwardly great!


 

Photo Friday: Beating the heat 

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It seems we are on the grip of a month-long heat wave here in Brisbane. It is unrelenting! And at 30 weeks pregnant I have no qualms when it comes to complaining about it. 

Our Tuesday Kanga class is held at an aquatic centre so after class this week, Jesse and I headed out for a swim to cool down. 

I honestly don’t know who enjoyed it more. It was so great to feel cool and weightless in the water. 

We played and cuddled in the water for over an hour and it was heavenly. 

Preparing for my second labour

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It is quite common for mum’s who have had a traumatic birth experience or one that didn’t go according to plan to be anxious about their subsequent labours.

I’m having the opposite dilemma. My first labour giving birth to Jesse was everything I could have hoped for and now I’m freaking out that the second time round won’t go as smoothly or live up to how I remember the first time. Ridiculous I know.

My first labour was relatively quick with about five and a half hours of active labour. I had very little intervention (my waters were broken at 4cm and I had to wear a heart rate monitor on my belly the whole time but that’s it). I managed to avoid any pain relief (I thought I was using the gas towards the end but turns out it was too late for that and the midwife only allowed oxygen to come through!). I was able to be mobile and use active labour positions like squatting and all fours throughout. And I didn’t tear! This was a huge fear of mine after 31 years of mum regaling me with the delightful tale of my birth.

The worst part (oh besides squeezing out a 2.7kg human from my vagina!) was the agonising back labour. That searing pain in my lower back with each contraction became almost unbearable. Here’s hoping I don’t get that again!

So now I’m preparing to labour for the second time and I’m praying I can do it all again as close to my birth plan as possible.

I’m drinking the raspberry leaf tea again, listening to my hypno-birthing meditations and affirmations and have just started prenatal yoga. Does any of it work? I don’t know.  But I did it last time so I’m doing it again!


I’m keeping as active as possible and viewing every activity as birth preparation. Simply walking is proving challenging at times but between Kangatraining, yoga and weight training I’m doing ok. This makes me sound like a bit of a fitness freak which I’m most definitely not. Because I’m also eating ALL THE FOOD!

So tell me your tips. How did you prepare for birth? Or did you find just winging it and trusting your body was the best option?

With roughly 10 weeks to go it is all getting very real. This threesome will soon be four.

Lulla, save our sleep!

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Honestly, waking up through the night to tend to my baby hasn’t really bothered me that much. Obviously it’s been hard at times… really hard. But I’ve tried not to obsess over it despite everyone you come into contact with seeming to associate a ‘good’ baby with one that sleeps well. I just figured all babies are different and ours would eventually stop night waking in his own time.

After 19 months night waking has just become part of my life. Only now it’s once a night instead of every two hours, and usually all I have to do is prepare a bottle for Jesse to feed to himself while I go back to bed. That seems totally dreamy to me given that for a very long time I was probably spending more time awake than asleep through the night. Especially during the 10 months I was breastfeeding.

The topic of ‘sleeping through’ has often come up, usually Kaine saying “This is ridiculous, shouldn’t he be sleeping through the night by now?” This coming from the person who, 9 times out of 10, hears nothing!

I think the first time Jesse ‘slept through’ he was about 14 months. It has been becoming more of a regular occurrence recently, perhaps once a week. But, with the stark realisation that I will very soon be returning to those sleepless nights once again, it would be great to have one child sleeping continuously.

In comes the Lulla Doll. I have been intrigued by the Lulla Doll for some time now and wondered if it would help. Jesse has never been attached to a blanket or soft toy (despite me trying to force these things!) for comfort and self settling but I figured it was worth a shot.

If he hated it or if we were too late on the band wagon, at least number two might benefit from it.

Lulla has now been in our house for almost two weeks. On night one I took Jesse into his room, gave him his bottle and handed him Lulla; his first time hearing the heavy breathing and heartbeat. He protested and promptly handed it back to me. I tried again and Lulla was thrown on the floor.

Night two was very similar but by night three he was happy to have Lulla lie next to him. It seemed it was taking him less time to fall asleep but he still woke up once each night for a bottle.

On night four he actually gave Lulla a cuddle and slept through until 5am with no waking.  Following that night, he has now slept through every night since except maybe one or two.

While we can’t be sure if Lulla is actually helping, I’m very happy that sleep through’s are becoming more frequent. Even if Jesse has been waking super early.

We’ve had a two week heat wave here in Brisbane with temperatures reaching 30 degrees by early morning, so I’m not surprised he’s up early.

Would I recommend it to others? Sure. Lulla is definitely worth a shot for any sleep deprived family. Though no sleep aid will ever take the place of a cuddle with mummy or daddy, we all need a break sometime.