Category: Love

A Mother’s Promise

Renee BartonLeave a comment

I read a story recently that has continued to impact on me and challenge me since reading it.

The story was of one mum’s promise to go to her baby when he cried for her no matter how tired or touched out she was, as the result of learning a heartbreaking reality for babies in an African orphanage.

She recounted the experience of a friend who had visited an orphanage and had been struck by how quiet one of the rooms was despite having over 100 babies in it. When they asked how so many babies could be so quiet the response was that they’ve realised no one is coming for them when they cry so they just don’t any more.

Uh. Cue heart break.

Straight away I related to this woman’s promise to her baby to go to him. That’s the kind of mum I want to be I thought to myself. I felt so sad at the thought of a little baby crying for their mother that would never come to them.

That night as I heard Jesse stir through the monitor for the fourth time since putting him down I threw back the covers and whispered into the darkness “damn it, Jesse”.

Doesn’t he know I’m tired? Doesn’t he know that I can’t take many more nights like this?

As I stepped into the hallway hearing his cry getting more desperate, I felt a pang of guilt and the story came flooding back to me.

No. He doesn’t know I’m in the other room praying for more than a couple of hours of sleep in a row. All he knows is its dark, he’s alone and he wants me to comfort him.

The same battle plays out through the day as he constantly climbs up my leg begging to be cuddled only to want to be put down again moments later. And then up again. And then down again.

My patience wears thin. But what about that promise to go to him no matter what? What about those silent babies who’ve given up on waiting for someone to come to them.

Goodness me. Being a parent really is a mind f*** isn’t it!

I was going to finish the post there feeling there wasn’t much else left to say when something beautiful happened.

I scooped up a begging Jesse into my arms for the hundredth time and read back this post aloud the way I always do before publishing it. And almost as if he knew what I needed, Jesse reached out, turned my face towards his and pressed his open mouth against mine. I was expecting an enthusiastic poke in the eye or finger shoved in my mouth but this was so much better. So gentle, so loving.

And just like that my love tank is full again.

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40 Weeks In / 40 Weeks Out

Renee BartonLeave a comment

Our baby turning nine months old feels like quite a significant milestone. He has now been earth side for the same amount of time he spent growing in my belly.

He spent 40 weeks in and now 40 weeks out. Well actually, he was in for 38+6 but that doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.

During my pregnancy our anticipation grew as fast as he did. Our first baby after nearly two years of trying to conceive meant that we were equal parts ecstatic and freaked out.

We knew our lives would change but after nine years of  marriage we were ready for the next chapter. We spent countless hours talking about the kind of parents we wanted to be and speculating what our child might be like.

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Photo: Renee Trubai

Nine months later we are falling more in love with our little man every day. With golden hair like his Daddy and puffy cheeks like his Mama, he brings more joy to our lives than we ever expected. And with a heart-melting smile that he flashes so generously, we love how much happiness he brings to our family, friends and strangers too.

Over the 40 weeks he spent in, he grew from a tiny speck of cells into a little human. A tiny 2.7 kg and 48 cm. 10 little fingers, 10 little toes. Bright blue eyes and faint little blonde hairs on his head (he also had little blonde fury arms when he was born which was so cute!).

And over the past 40 weeks out he has grown into a happy, giggly bubba, 9.3kg and 77cm tall. He always gets comments about how tall he is and how his hair style matches Daddy’s.

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Photo: Renee Trubai

He is crawling everywhere, exploring everything and climbing up my leg every chance he gets. He LOVES animals and one glimpse of our cat or dog and his spirits are lifted as he starts babbling and smiling and kicking his legs with excitement.

In the nine months since becoming a mum I have learned a lot about myself, my husband and about life. I am learning to trust myself and my ability to know what is right for us, not just what the ‘parenting experts’ say is right.

As I sit here writing while Jesse mashes up a nectarine between his fingers beside me, I’m learning to be okay with mess. And even to see the fun side of it. I’m learning patience, servant-hood and sacrifice. That its okay to slow down, to play, to ask for help when help is needed.

I’ve learned just how much my husband worries. But I know it is because he loves us so much. The positive side of that is it keeps me calm (we can’t both lose our shit, at least not at the same time!).

I’ve learned the value of a full nights rest and will not take it for granted ever again.

I’ve learned that I will make mistakes as a parent. I will lose my cool, I will yell and cry sometimes. I will have to collect Jesse up off the floor because he’s fallen off the bed (whoops!) but it’s okay. A child needs to see their parents failing from time to time.

And I’m sure there will be many more lessons, many more mistakes.

But for now, happy nine months little one. I hope you’ve loved your 40 weeks out as much as we have.

xx

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Photo Friday: Mum and bub cool off in the pool

Renee BartonLeave a comment

With only a few days of Summer left there is no sign of it cooling down any time soon.

After a particularly hot and sweaty morning of Kangatraining, Jesse and I headed over to Nanny’s to test out the new baby pool she bought him.

We pulled it out of the box, pumped it up and promptly heard a loud hissing sound. Brand new and it had a hole in it! Not be be deterred, mum pulls out the sticky tape and in a ‘Big Hero 6’ like manner we taped up the hole and headed outside to fill it up.

Jesse and I had a lovely time cooling down and having a splash together.

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Cool things about being a mum I didn’t expect

Renee BartonLeave a comment

Having a baby is wonderful (mostly). Watching them grow and change day by day. Those sleepy snuggles and that new baby smell. Being someone’s mummy really is incredible.

But aside from the obvious cool things about being a Mama there are a few bonus things I wasn’t expecting.

Friends and family falling over backwards to do things for you

At least in the early days, those first few weeks post birth, people treat a new mum like a queen. And rightly so. We can ask for just about anything and husband, family members and friends will go out of their way to make it happen.

I don’t think I had to cook a meal for about two weeks after giving birth. I was living out my dream. All because of a joke (sort of) that if people wanted to visit baby they had to bring food. I’m keen to go for round two just for that perk alone! I was also delivered coffee on a regular basis and wasn’t expected to do anything else other than look after my newborn baby. Showering and changing out of pyjamas were completely optional (though I did manage to do both most days if just for my own sanity).

The holy grail that is parents with prams parking

Pulling into one of these for the first time is quite the novelty. And you soon find yourself disappointed when they’re all full. Or worse yet, there’s someone parked there with no obvious signs of a baby. No sun shade on the window or car seat in the back.

What’s the big deal? It’s just a car park right? Well yes, but when it saves you from circling a practically full car park with a crying baby in the back its life-changing. And its close to the door. Enough said.

No more waiting lines for the toilet

Babies can be great shopping companions (once mine got over his loathing of car trips). They don’t complain about all the stores we go into or how long it takes for us to decide which design of Bonds Wonder-suit to buy.

But no shopping trip with a baby is complete without a visit (or 3) to the parents room. While there’s nothing really special about a room smelling of dirty nappies the bonus is no more waiting in long lines for the ladies room. Hooray!! While feeding and changing bub, we can duck to the loo, no waiting. Though I have found myself using a kiddie size toilet on a couple of occasions. What’s with some parent rooms not having a regular sized one as well??

How easy it is to make a new friend

Making friends as a kid was relatively easy and for some adults it still is but I always found it tricky. But since becoming a mum I have found it so much easier to break the ice with another mum. Conversation seems to come so much easier when you instantly have something in common.

I had heard so many horror stories of mums being awful to each other and criticising parenting styles that differ from their own. And while I know that it does go on I must admit that I have only come in contact with other mummies that are supportive and respectful. I’ve also been so fortunate as to make some genuine connections with some wonderful women. I used to bang on about how awful the ‘mum club’ is but for the most part it is an association I’m proud to have.

That amazing feeling when his little arms reach out for mummy

We hear those horror stories about never (ever) being alone again once you have children and not even being able to pee in peace. But it is pretty amazing when those little, squishy arms reach out for you deliberately for the first time.

And though it can sometimes be frustrating when you’re feeling a little touched out from a long day with a velcro baby, it is pretty wonderful to feel that the love your baby has for you is as strong as your love for him.

To the world you are one, but to one you are the world.

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Dads Rule: Why we should give dads more credit

Renee BartonLeave a comment

Lately I’ve been giving the ladies a gee up and boasting about how awesome women are, but I haven’t forgotten about the guys. Dads in particular.

There’s been lots of stories lately about how dads get a bad wrap and treated like unhelpful idiots when it comes to babies and parenting. I wholeheartedly agree that just because there are a few lousy dads out there (you know, the ones that call spending time alone with their child babysitting), not all men are crap dads.

In fact, most dads that I know are just as hands on with their kids as mums. And some of them even do housework. I know… you’re wondering how to get one of those husbands, but I found one, so I’m sure they’re out there!

The awesome dad does the early morning shift so mum can sleep in. The awesome dad jigs baby to sleep while singing lullabies that he knows none of the words to but makes them up anyway.

He can’t wait to play or cuddle or do bath time in the evenings even though he’s just finished a long day at work. He makes sure the car seat is in just right and he panics over every little scratch, bump and bruise. The awesome dad sneaks into bubba’s room just to marvel at how gosh darn cute he is.

And who says men can’t multitask?? The awesome dad can play PlayStation and get baby to sleep!

The reason I know these awesome dads exist is because I see it every day. I’m married to one.

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On top of all this he also reassures me on a regular basis that I’m an awesome mum. And we can not hear that enough can we mum’s?

So here’s to the awesome dads. The ones that wrestle the floor, give shoulder rides and read bedtime stories.

You rock!

And to my husband, not only do you rock, but you are my rock.

X

A New Year, A New Adventure

Renee BartonLeave a comment

It’s hard to believe but the first month of 2016 is almost over. I know, right!

It may seem like the year has taken off and left you somewhere around December 27th last year but don’t fret. It’s not too late to plan your year and get back on track. Don’t let another year just slip by leaving you wondering when time started to go by so quickly.

Already, this year is not what I had expected. After 9 months of maternity leave I should have been returning to my job this week but instead I am embarking on a new adventure and starting my own business as a licensed Kangatraining Instructor. The successful boutique consulting company I worked with for the last five years are closing their doors to allow for it’s people to pursue other opportunities. Including me.

As fate would have it, I had already started down the Kangatraining path and was planning to do both part time when I found out there wasn’t going to be a job for me to return to. Strangely enough I didn’t freak out. I strongly believe in the mantra ‘everything happens for a reason’. And thankfully I have a super supportive husband who also didn’t freak out and has been nothing but positive and encouraging.

I have found that women don’t need the support of their man to be successful, but it sure bloody helps! Guys, you might think your lady is a super star capable of anything she sets her mind to, but have you told her that lately?

Anyway, as I type this I am gearing up to take my instructor exams and putting in place all the finer details to get this new adventure up and running. And I can’t help thinking about how often thin threads can completely change our direction in life.

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One minute I am spending 40 hours a week sitting in my home office in front of a computer screen… okay, let me digress for a minute and address some of the working from home questions that have no doubt popped up in your mind…

Yes, I worked from home. Yes, I often worked in my pyjamas. No, I never worked nude or whilst in bed. And yes, I may or may not have taken the odd afternoon siesta on the lounge, particularly while pregnant. And while I’m on the topic of working from home, whenever I talked about returning to work after having a baby everyone would say “oh but you work from home, how convenient, you won’t need day care”. Seriously?? I don’t know about all of you other mums out there but I can barely get my hair brushed or the dishes done let alone have a productive work day when home with my baby.

Now, where was I… Oh yes, one minute I’m spending 40 hours a week in front of a computer screen (working very hard), the next I have a baby who requires my attention around the clock and doesn’t like it very much when I sleep and now I’m about to become a fitness instructor (I know, I can’t say it with a straight face yet) where I get to play with mummies and bubbies and live out my dream of being a (sort of) dance teacher.

I feel so lucky to have found something that allows me to be with my baby whilst contributing to our household finances AND combines my love of dance and fitness with my passion for baby wearing and helping other mamas.

So, my point is (if in fact there is one amongst all of this sleep deprived rambling) if January has slipped past you, stop right now and set yourself a goal for February. As big or as small as you like. But don’t let this next month be just another 28 (or is it 29?) days of the year. It is never too late to change direction… get back on the wagon… or insert other witty cliché here.

Dare to dream

x

 

 

Photo Friday: Don’t Wake Grumpy

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

So this past week in the Barton household has been a tough one.

We’ve had teething issues… We’ve had high temperatures… We’ve had heat rash… We’ve had loss of appetite… We’ve had uncontrollable crying… We’ve had tantrums… We’ve had pushing bottles away… We’ve had up the backers…

We’ve had a cranky, tired, unsettled bubba who was quite obviously not dealing with the nasty effects of teething.

All that said though, when he falls asleep… He still looks like the cutest, most peaceful, wonderful little man I ever lay eyes on!

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We can’t wait for the poor little guy to get through this rough patch, getting back to his usual, happy go lucky self.

Stay At Home Mum Life: the good, the bad and the ugly

Renee BartonLeave a comment

Being a full time mum may seem like its all Netflix and coffee dates – swanning around the shops in your active wear sipping on a skinny chai latte. But they really are right when they say being a mum is the hardest job in the world. And I’m only 7 months in!

Okay, so there might be a fair bit of Netflix. Especially in those early newborn days. And yes, coffee is now a food group all of it’s own in my current diet… but there is more to it. We parents work bloody hard. Especially those that have jobs and kids to take care of!

So what’s it really like?

I’m gonna start with the ugly while it’s fresh in my mind. Yesterday was ugly! Our usually fairly chilled bub had suddenly become some sort of possessed, teething monster who only operated on two extremes. Screaming and inconsolable! Or snugly and super clingy! Okay, so the snugly clingy part wasn’t so bad, but it was the several plus hours of the inconsolable screaming beforehand that was the really ugly part. It’s the part of parenting where you pretty much lose your s*** but then feel really bad because you know its not their fault. You know your little one is not purposefully sending your blood pressure through the roof. They’re in pain.  And they need their mummy. Thankfully, these really ugly days are few and far between.

And then there’s the bad. Hmmm, where do I start? Well, there’s the ongoing sleep deprivation. If you really want to mess someone up just wake them up every three hours. EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. There are times where they let you go right back to sleep… But then there are times where they just smile up at you and giggle and make you play with them for an hour. When you get one of those “It’s 3am and I’m wide awake” smiles, it is incredibly frustrating and ridiculously cute all at the same time. And then there’s the poo under your finger nails, the vomit on your shirt just as your about to finally head out the door, the thinking you can hear the baby cry every time you get in the shower, and the song Peppa Pig sings about finding a friend for her pet goldfish Goldie that you JUST CAN’T GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD!!! “Fishy fishy fish fish, swimming in the sea. Who will be a fishy friend, for my fish Goldie?”

But then there’s the good. And it is, oh… so… good! It’s that uncontrollable urge to plant an inappropriate amount of kisses on that squishy face whenever it’s in close range. And what is it with baby feet that just makes you want to (ever so gently) bite them? Its the tiny warm body that fits perfectly on your chest as his gently rises and falls with each breath while he sleeps. And even the now not-so-tiny body that still manages to fit just right. Its the chubby little arms that learn to reach out for his mama whenever she walks by. Its the chubby little legs that kick out as you tickle him under his neck and arms. And that throaty laughter that may just be the sweetest sound in the world.

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There is oh so much good. And the best part is, you only need one good moment to outweigh a whole day of ugly moments (and thank God for that, otherwise we’d never deliberately procreate!).

But with all of that, and despite the fact that being a parent really is the hardest job in the world… we  wouldn’t trade it in for anything would we mum’s and dad’s? I love the fact that I am a stay at home mum. And I know there will come a time when my boy will be grown and no longer need me to give him my everything so I will try to treasure it all, the good, the bad… and the ugly, while I can. It sure is tough, but it’s also so incredibly rewarding and fun.

So hold your heads up high stay at home mums and dads… You have the best job in the world!

Home Sweet Home

Renee Barton3 Comments

A few days ago marked 10 years of living in our home.

On the 21st December, 2005 we were just a couple of kids moving into our first home. At just 21 years old there was definitely a sense of pride and accomplishment in purchasing our own home. It wasn’t much, a three bedroom low set brick, nothing fancy. But we loved it and were so excited to be officially starting our life together.

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21 December, 2005
I don’t think I expected then to still be living in this house a decade later but so much has happened during our time here and a lot of dreams have been ticked off the list.

While living here we have married, had three pets (one of whom we miss very much) and two foster dogs, welcomed several guests requiring solace (some for a night or two and some for longer), been on four overseas trips, had multiple job changes one of which saw me working out of our home for the past five years. And most recently we became a family of three under this roof.

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21 December, 2015
Our home is still a humble one. Our backyard now resembles a race track thanks to our very energetic dog, Pacey. And most of the furniture and appliances are the same ones we bought when we moved in. Travel and adventure have always trumped that sort of stuff for us.

Though we have big plans for our ultimate dream home this place will always be special to us. And a place we’ll call home for a while yet.