Mission Possible: Getting Out of the House with a Baby

Before having a baby I had heard parents complain about how difficult it was and how long it took to leave the house with a baby. And yes, now I know what they were talking about.

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Before baby, husband and I could be out the door within a few minutes of making the decision.

“Want to go out for lunch?”

“Sure!”

Freshen up, grab keys, wallet and phone and out the door we go.

Now it is a juggling act. I feed the baby while he gets ready then he changes the nappy and preps the gear while I get ready. By then it is time to feed again and after all that we might actually manage to throw everything in the car, buckle baby in his car seat and leave the house.

Phew… nap anyone??

In all seriousness though, I still firmly believe that, with a bit of patience and flexibility, it is possible (and important) to still be outgoing and enjoy a life outside the four walls of home.

So here are some of the things I’ve learned about venturing out of the house with a new baby.

  1. Preparation is key. Always take more stuff than you think you will need including clothing, blankets, bottles and nappies.
  2. Time your outings so that you leave straight after a feed. This way you can maximise time before the next feed is due, in theory anyway.
  3. Try and avoid taking baby in and out of the car more than twice in one outing.
  4. Breastfeed in public. It will feel really awkward at first. Much harder than simply whipping off your shirt and unashamedly popping your boob out when at home. It takes some practice to be able to juggle baby whilst trying to modestly unhook your bra and subtly hide your breast pad somewhere whilst getting bub to latch. And hey, if you happen to flash a bit of boob, try not to worry. It is natural, your baby is hungry and people should just get over it.
  5. Even when using the pram always have a wrap or carrier handy just in case bub gets cranky and wants out.
  6. When baby starts to get grizzly, it is time to go. Avoid being tempted by one more shop or one more errand as this will often lead to a screaming baby and stressed out mum on the ride home.
  7. Enjoy being out. Having a baby doesn’t mean your social life has to end or that you need to be housebound. Getting out every so often will help you to appreciate those days at home endlessly feeding on the couch whilst watching Netflix.
  8. If it all seems too hard, just try grabbing the pram or your favourite carrier and going for a walk around the block. The fresh air will do you both a world of good. Not to mention a little bit of exercise too.

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So my question to you is, what are your tips and tricks for getting out of the house with your little ones?

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A Terrible Case of the Post-Partum Body Blues

I get it. My body is amazing. It created, grew and gave birth to a human. Blah, blah, blah.

But am I a horrible, shallow person if I’m not totally wrapped about my post-miracle body? Nearly three months on and I really thought I’d at least be on track to getting back to how my body looked before. But the reflection staring back at me is still much different to what I’d like to see.

My clothes are bursting at the seams and having to ‘tuck’ my stomach into my waistband is not exactly doing wonders for my self esteem right now.

Don’t get me wrong, I really do think women’s bodies are amazing. Pregnancy and childbirth really are a miracle. But in order to be the best mum and wife I can be, I need to take care of myself and get back to liking what I see in the mirror.

I really loved being pregnant. When we were trying to have a baby I absolutely couldn’t wait for my belly to swell. I wanted to rock my baby bump and I was proud of it. I was also incredibly lucky in that I didn’t suffer from uncomfortable bloating or unsightly cankles. In fact, I actually lost weight in my first trimester. No, I wasn’t throwing up with morning sickness. I had just started a 12 week challenge before I knew I was pregnant as I had some unwanted kilos to shift following our Euro Trip where we ate and drank like kings for a month.

pregnant

But then into my second and third trimesters the kilos started to stack back on. And despite saying that I wanted to have a really clean pregnancy, I ended up addicted to carbs and sugar again. I didn’t over do it to a dangerous extent but I did probably enjoy myself a little too much. I was still relatively active and was still doing high intensity weights up until the week before I gave birth.

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I kind of thought that once I had the baby I would immediately drop five kilos, I’d get back to training as soon as possible and for the most part everything would return to how it was. I mean, with breastfeeding I should spring back into shape in no time right? Wrong. Breastfeeding has just made me starving ALL THE TIME!

I was eager to return to weight training but had to wait the obligatory six weeks. But as soon as I got the ok I started back again plus I have added KangaTraining and a post-partum Ultratone program to the mix.

I have slowly started to change my diet and get it back to what it was post pregnancy. But I still have a long way to go.

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I am trying not to be too hard on myself and have more realistic expectations but it is difficult not to get a bit down sometimes.

Looking at my beautiful little boy it is totally worth it. But it is time to get this Mama back into shape!

For my son, for my husband, but most of all for me.

New Mum Reminder: Go Easy on Yourself!

Our little man is two months old today. He is getting so big and changing every day.

As we get caught up in the daily rituals of nappies and meal times it feels like Jesse has been apart of our family for longer than he has. Sometimes this can lead to disappointment that I don’t quite have it all together all of the time.

Then I am reminded not be so hard on myself, after all it has only been 8 weeks!

So here are some things I think I need to be reminded of. Perhaps you can relate to some of these or add a few of your own…

  1. You are still new at this and that’s OK! You’re not expected to have it all figured out just yet. So your baby likes to be cuddled while he sleeps. He has a textbook breastfeed one time and then doesn’t want a bar of it the next. The dishes are piling up in the sink and you can’t remember the last time you cleaned the loo. Just go with it.  A stressed out Mum will only result in a stressed out bub.
  2. Some other areas of your life may have fallen by the wayside but it’s only temporary. I know you have high expectations of yourself and want to be able to be ‘Super Mum’ and do it all, all of the time. And in time you probably will. But for now, just relax and enjoy this special time. Baby steps are still progress even if it is slower than you might like.
  3. You may catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and wonder who the hell that fat, tired person is glaring back at you, but give yourself a break. You just had a baby for goodness sake! Yes there are some wobbly bits and lumps and bumps where there wasn’t before. Just focus on being healthy and happy for now and your body will soon follow.
  4. So those formula top ups you thought were temporary are still going, so what! Your baby is happy and healthy and that is all that matters. Remember this, each and every breastfeed, even if it is for just a few minutes, is doing wonders for your baby. Don’t be ashamed that you also have to give your baby bottles. You might feel like everyone is judging you but in fact other mums are probably thinking ‘Thank God, its not just me’!
  5. Trust your instincts. Sleep routines, controlled crying methods, co-sleeping, bed sharing, breasts, bottles, dummies, disposable nappies, cloth nappies, baby wearing; it seems everyone has an opinion about everything and there are so many concepts and ideas out there that at times, it can be very overwhelming. Just do what feels right. And if in the end it doesn’t work out, well, just try something else.

Just remember ‘this too shall pass’. That is both a blessing and a curse. Yes waking up several times throughout the night and a baby that won’t sleep for more than an hour on his own will eventually be things of the past. But so will those sleepy snuggles and those goofy gummy grins. So try to enjoy it all; the good, the bad and the sleep deprived.

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As women we can often be our own worst enemy. And as mothers we are often each others. Let’s cut ourselves some slack and while we are at it, be nicer to each other as well.

Breast or bottle, disposable or cloth, controlled crying or attachment parenting – no matter how we are doing it we are all going through the same things and just trying to be the best Mums we can be.

So try to be kinder to yourself and while you’re at it, give a smile or a word of encouragement to fellow Mum. It might be all she needs to brighten an otherwise stressful or frustrating day.

10 Thoughts of a Sleep Deprived Mum During Night Feeds

I’m sure other Mum’s will agree that we can have some pretty weird and wonderful thoughts when we are awake through the night tending to our little ones.

It is a special time. The rest of the house is quiet and dark. Baby cuddles up to you and stares lovingly at you with their big blue eyes whilst guzzling their midnight snack. But its not all warm and fuzzy. Literally! It has been pretty cold in Brisbane lately, peeling back the doona is even more difficult now and don’t even mention having to get your boobs out in the cold night air! It can be downright frustrating too. When all you want to do is sleep but baby is cranky, hungry, wet, cold, hot….and its your job to figure out which of these it is so that you can both get back to sleep as soon as possible.

So, here are 10 thoughts I’m sure we’ve all have whilst fulfilling this motherly duty.

  1. My life sucks right now.
  2. Has it been 3 hours already??
  3. Shit its cold!
  4. Awww….look at my husband sound asleep completely oblivious to everything….asshole!
  5. I am the luckiest Mummy in the world….and boy do I make cute babies!
  6. My life is awesome right now.
  7. I wonder what is happening on Facebook at 3am…..hmmm, not much!
  8. Ok, please settle so we can get back to sleep now.
  9. I’m sooo bloody tired! OMG, am I ever going to sleep though the night again ever?!
  10. Great, we’re done….well at least until you wake me up again in a few hours time and we do it all again.

All jokes aside, we wouldn’t have it any other way would we mums? As we pat their backs and kiss their faces and smell their heads, we know we are the luckiest (albeit tired-est) mummies in the world.

Thoughts during the night

The Lonely Hours

Some nights can get pretty lonely when you’re up with a newborn. The repitition of feeding, changing and settling every few hours can be trying. Especially during those nights when all you want to do is sleep.

Don’t get me wrong, Kaine is absolutely supportive and a massive help. In fact, he couldn’t be more hands on both with Jesse and with keeping the household running. But there is only so much he can do without boobs! And we agreed from the beginning that it doesn’t make sense for us to both be sleep deprived so I take the night shift while he sleeps.

I know that I can wake him if I really need to but I try to avoid that. A well rested husband means he is able to help more during the day while he’s still home with us and it will be even more important once he goes back to work in a few weeks.

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I know I am very lucky really. For the most part Jesse is really good through the night. He generally feeds well and now we get close to 3 hours sleep between feeds. But there are some tough times when he fusses at the breast or takes a long time to settle. And then there’s those pesky cluster feeds!

It’s during those times that I am comforted by the thought that other Mums all over the place, and even in the same street as me, are up doing exactly the same thing; looking after their beautiful babies and probably while their husband sleeps!

So my question to other Mums out there is, how do night shifts work in your house?

Let’s share our strategies and stories so we can all feel a little less alone when we are sitting with our boobs out at 3am on a winter night. And for all you Dads out there, we’d love to hear your perspective too.