Tag: Family

Dear Jesse: A Letter From Dad

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

Dear Jesse,

It’s been 60 days since you came into our lives. 60 days since we finally met the little person that was growing in Renee’s belly. 60 days since I fell in love with you.

Life with you is so completely different to life before. Being responsible for a little human being is fun, challenging, rewarding, hard, exciting, overwhelming, interesting… all rolled into one big emotion that is so hard to describe. It is unlike anything I’ve ever done before. But I wouldn’t change it for anything.

I know it has only been 60 days and most people would say that it’s still only the beginning. I know this to be true. I know that it’s bound to get harder, but at the same time more rewarding and more fun.

I know that now I have started back at work that mummy is going to find it tougher. I can tell you that it’s tough for me too, having to leave you and mummy at home every morning as I head off in the cold to work. But I know that it is all for a good cause and as time goes on, we will be able to spend a lot more quality time together when it counts.

I know that there are going to be more challenges… more hard times… more mess… But along with that will come fun times, great experiences and memories to cherish forever.

Dear Jesse Post 2

It has been immensely gratifying getting to know you as you are. Watching you sleep. Watching how long it takes you to wake from your slumber. Laughing along with mummy at the many grunts and squeals you let out when feeding. The way you are already smiling.

I love your little fingers and toes and hands and feet. I love how wispy and blonde your hair is. I love how you sigh in your sleep. I love how I can get you to smile by playing with your bottom lip and chin.

I absolutely can’t wait to grow with you and be the dad I always imagined I’d be when mummy and I had children. Playing with you in the backyard or down at the local park. Teaching you life lessons. Playing hide and seek with you. Laughing with you. Tucking you into bed and reading you bedtime stories.

I love everything about you. To me, you are our perfect little man. I love that this is only the beginning of such a wonderful journey ahead.

Jesse, I’m so glad you are here and I can’t wait to get to know you more.

Love, Dad.

New Mum Reminder: Go Easy on Yourself!

Renee BartonLeave a comment

Our little man is two months old today. He is getting so big and changing every day.

As we get caught up in the daily rituals of nappies and meal times it feels like Jesse has been apart of our family for longer than he has. Sometimes this can lead to disappointment that I don’t quite have it all together all of the time.

Then I am reminded not be so hard on myself, after all it has only been 8 weeks!

So here are some things I think I need to be reminded of. Perhaps you can relate to some of these or add a few of your own…

  1. You are still new at this and that’s OK! You’re not expected to have it all figured out just yet. So your baby likes to be cuddled while he sleeps. He has a textbook breastfeed one time and then doesn’t want a bar of it the next. The dishes are piling up in the sink and you can’t remember the last time you cleaned the loo. Just go with it.  A stressed out Mum will only result in a stressed out bub.
  2. Some other areas of your life may have fallen by the wayside but it’s only temporary. I know you have high expectations of yourself and want to be able to be ‘Super Mum’ and do it all, all of the time. And in time you probably will. But for now, just relax and enjoy this special time. Baby steps are still progress even if it is slower than you might like.
  3. You may catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and wonder who the hell that fat, tired person is glaring back at you, but give yourself a break. You just had a baby for goodness sake! Yes there are some wobbly bits and lumps and bumps where there wasn’t before. Just focus on being healthy and happy for now and your body will soon follow.
  4. So those formula top ups you thought were temporary are still going, so what! Your baby is happy and healthy and that is all that matters. Remember this, each and every breastfeed, even if it is for just a few minutes, is doing wonders for your baby. Don’t be ashamed that you also have to give your baby bottles. You might feel like everyone is judging you but in fact other mums are probably thinking ‘Thank God, its not just me’!
  5. Trust your instincts. Sleep routines, controlled crying methods, co-sleeping, bed sharing, breasts, bottles, dummies, disposable nappies, cloth nappies, baby wearing; it seems everyone has an opinion about everything and there are so many concepts and ideas out there that at times, it can be very overwhelming. Just do what feels right. And if in the end it doesn’t work out, well, just try something else.

Just remember ‘this too shall pass’. That is both a blessing and a curse. Yes waking up several times throughout the night and a baby that won’t sleep for more than an hour on his own will eventually be things of the past. But so will those sleepy snuggles and those goofy gummy grins. So try to enjoy it all; the good, the bad and the sleep deprived.

be-a-good-mum

As women we can often be our own worst enemy. And as mothers we are often each others. Let’s cut ourselves some slack and while we are at it, be nicer to each other as well.

Breast or bottle, disposable or cloth, controlled crying or attachment parenting – no matter how we are doing it we are all going through the same things and just trying to be the best Mums we can be.

So try to be kinder to yourself and while you’re at it, give a smile or a word of encouragement to fellow Mum. It might be all she needs to brighten an otherwise stressful or frustrating day.

First Week of Work Wrap-Up

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

So I officially made it through my first week back at work after my paternity leave.

Was it tough? Yes and no…

That very first Monday morning was the hardest. Having to get up at 5am for the first time in 7 weeks was hard. Having to leave Renee and Jesse for the day for the first time in 7 weeks was even harder!

But I must admit that it didn’t take me long to get back into the groove of working life.

What made the transition easy is the fact that I work with a great group of people. The team at work made me feel amazing getting back into work life, and it was a real pleasure having everyone come up asking about Jesse and how he is going.

The biggest surprise was that I never really felt tired while I was at work. Toward the end of the week, Thursday and Friday, I was feeling tired earlier in the night. But I seemed to cope fairly well while I was at work. I have to send out a huge thank you to Renee for this fact, as she is the one who gets up during the night to tend to Jesse so that I can get a good nights sleep for work the next day.

It is nearly 12pm on Sunday, and I fell like I am definitely making the most of my days at home by spending as much time as a I can with Renee and Jesse. This is more important than ever now, considering my time with them is somewhat limited during the week.

It makes me wonder how other new dads cope trying to get the best work/life balance they can with a newborn.

If you are a new dad out there, what are your experiences in trying get a good work/life balance with a newborn?

I will say this, one of the biggest things that gets me through my work day is knowing that at the end, I get to see this little guy again!

Work Post

Photo Friday: How Cute is a Sleeping Baby

Renee BartonLeave a comment

Everyone loves the beautiful sight that is a sleeping baby.

Here are a few of our favourite sleepy bubba (and sleepy parent!) pics so far.

IMG_2196

Jesse at about 2 days old. We love this photo so much because it shows what he would have looked like when sleeping in Mummy’s tummy.

DSC00868

Mummy and Jesse catching up on some sleep together on the lounge during his first few days at home.

IMG_2415

With a tummy full of milk, sleep follows shortly after.

IMG_2486

Jesse’s favorite place to sleep is on Daddy’s chest. Daddy often catches a few zzz’s as well.

IMG_4985

This is one of Jesse’s favourite sleeping poses. The Thinker.

10 Thoughts of a Sleep Deprived Mum During Night Feeds

Renee BartonLeave a comment

I’m sure other Mum’s will agree that we can have some pretty weird and wonderful thoughts when we are awake through the night tending to our little ones.

It is a special time. The rest of the house is quiet and dark. Baby cuddles up to you and stares lovingly at you with their big blue eyes whilst guzzling their midnight snack. But its not all warm and fuzzy. Literally! It has been pretty cold in Brisbane lately, peeling back the doona is even more difficult now and don’t even mention having to get your boobs out in the cold night air! It can be downright frustrating too. When all you want to do is sleep but baby is cranky, hungry, wet, cold, hot….and its your job to figure out which of these it is so that you can both get back to sleep as soon as possible.

So, here are 10 thoughts I’m sure we’ve all have whilst fulfilling this motherly duty.

  1. My life sucks right now.
  2. Has it been 3 hours already??
  3. Shit its cold!
  4. Awww….look at my husband sound asleep completely oblivious to everything….asshole!
  5. I am the luckiest Mummy in the world….and boy do I make cute babies!
  6. My life is awesome right now.
  7. I wonder what is happening on Facebook at 3am…..hmmm, not much!
  8. Ok, please settle so we can get back to sleep now.
  9. I’m sooo bloody tired! OMG, am I ever going to sleep though the night again ever?!
  10. Great, we’re done….well at least until you wake me up again in a few hours time and we do it all again.

All jokes aside, we wouldn’t have it any other way would we mums? As we pat their backs and kiss their faces and smell their heads, we know we are the luckiest (albeit tired-est) mummies in the world.

Thoughts during the night

Photo Friday: Who Does Jesse Look Like?

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

So right from the start, many if not all of the visitors we got in the early days said that Jesse was a spitting image of me. It certainly looked that way. Blonde hair, blue eyes, big nose.

But the more time passes, more people are saying that he is now looking more like Renee.

So we visited both our parents houses and went hunting through old baby photos of ourselves to try and see if we could find any that would be good to use as a comparison. And so below, we have 4 photos to compare. Photos of both Renee and I as babies with photos of Jesse at the same age (in days/weeks).

Have a look for yourselves and let us know who you think Jesse looks like… Mummy or daddy?

Jesse and Kaine:Kaine and Jesse

Jesse and Renee:
Renee and Jesse

An Open Letter to Dads Returning to Work

Renee Barton3 Comments

Next week Kaine will be returning to work and I am nervous to say the least.  I am wondering how I am going to handle things on my own without someone to share nappy duty with, without the chest which Jesse loves to fall asleep on and without someone to keep up the housework and bring me things when I’m breastfeeding.  But most of all how I’m going to cope without my person with me, my best friend, my husband.

But as hard as it will be for me, I know it will be even more difficult for him to leave us every morning and spend a large part of the day away from us.  Especially after enjoying such precious family time over the last 7 weeks.

So here are my words to my husband about his returning to work. Perhaps there are other women that feel this way about their spouse also so this is my open letter to working Dads.

To My Dear Husband,

The time we have spent together recently has been so special. The opportunity to be together every day as a new family while we navigate the challenges and joys of being parents has been incredible. I didn’t know I could love you more than I already did but seeing you as a Dad and the way you are with our baby, and with me, has deepened my love for you in ways I could not have anticipated.

But soon you will be returning to work. I know this will be difficult for you and that you will wish you were at home with us but I want you to know that work is exactly where your family needs you to be, at least for now.

Each day you leave our house please know that we love you and appreciate all you do to provide for us and ensure we are happy and healthy. We will miss you and the moment you arrive home will be our favourite part of the day.

Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to continue staying at home to care for our son. I know it is incredibly important to the both of us, and to us as a family, to be with him as much as possible and provide him with the best start in life.

So until a time when we are able to spend all of our days together again; we thank you.

Lovingly yours,

Wifey for Lifey

letter to dad

365 Project Update: How Are We Going?

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

So tomorrow will mark day 40 of ‘The 365 Project’. The big question being, how are we going?

For those who haven’t ventured through to that area of our website, simply put, the 365 Project is a brutally honest account of a year in the life of a new mum and a new dad.

The mission was simple. We will:

  • Over one whole year from the day our baby is born, chronicle our first year of parenthood through writings and photos.
  • Each journal something every day of Baby Barton’s first year of life, no excuses (no matter how sleep deprived)!
  • Each take a photo every day of Baby Barton’s first year of life, no excuses.
  • Not share our journal entries or photos with each other, until the day Baby Barton turns 1 (the end of the project).
  • At the conclusion of The 365 Project, compile and publish the journals and photos as two individual books titled ‘Not So Secret Life Of Us: A year in the life of a first time Dad’ and ‘Not So Secret Life Of Us: A year in the life of a first time Mum’.

So how are we going? Well, so far so good I think.

Life with a baby is sometimes pretty tough, especially for Renee who is up throughout the nights breastfeeding. But as of today, we have both stuck to our mission and have successfully taken a photo and written an entry every single day.

Collage 1

However, we are still both on leave from work which makes this whole chronicling our lives a little easier than it normally would. The real test is going to be when we finally climb out of this having a new baby bubble and go back to work and regular life starts getting in the way.

I think it’s going to be tough, but I think we will be able to do it. We may only be 40 days in, but I still feel as passionate about this project as when we started it on day 1!!!

Being a Fit Dad

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

Being a fit and healthy dad. What exactly does that mean? What does it encompass?

As I stood on the scales at my PT’s gym yesterday for my weekly weigh-in, waiting to see what the damage had been this week I began to think about that question.

As I pondered, I looked down with nervous anticipation as the number flicked up on the screen of the scales. The number staring back at me was 80 kg. Mixed feelings washed over me consisting mostly of disappointment.

‘There’s an 8 at the beginning’, I thought to myself. ‘It’s time to get my health and fitness back on track’.

Now I am well aware that 80 kg isn’t exactly heavy for someone of my height, but I know that my ideal weight is somewhere around the 75 kg mark and that’s when I feel and look my best.

I think every dad out there has their own thoughts on what a fit dad is. So the question I need to ask myself, is what does being a fit dad mean for me?

For me, I think being a fit dad first and foremost means being active, healthy and getting back into my pre-birth routines.

The past 5 weeks have flown by in a blur of nappy changes, cluster feeding and entertaining a newborn. And that has come at the expense of any kind of normalcy as far as routine goes. And because there are only two weeks before I go back to work, it’s a good time to start focusing back on my own habits to get back to feeling and looking my best.

IMG_2307

So, keeping in mind there is a new element in the mix (named Jesse Jack Barton) what needs to change? Well, it is my promise to start doing the following:

  • Exercising more regularly (PT sessions, circuit training, walks/runs with the dog).
  • Keep as active as I can, even at work.
  • Eating less and eating healthier options (no alcohol, less sugar, less carbs, more protein, more fresh foods and vegetables).
  • Better sleeping patterns (going to bed earlier and waking up earlier).
  • Start supplementing diet with good vitamins and supplements.
  • Involving Renee and Jesse into these routines wherever possible.

These are all very simple things to do and re-instate, but I now believe that they are more important than ever to do. It’s now time get off my ass and start doing them if I truly want to be a fit dad!

Outside of being a good dad, being a fit dad was the one thing I really wanted to try and achieve. Throughout our pregnancy journey, it’s one of the things that Renee and I would discuss every now and again.

I have always thought of myself as being relatively healthy and fit (except for when I’m on holidays and have a blow out, but hey, doesn’t everyone…). I want to be the dad running around the park or court with our son kicking the football or shooting hoops.

I want to be the dad playing in the backyard or park with our son, pushing him on the swings or playing in the sand pit.

I want to be the dad going to a bike ride with our son through the bush tracks and stopping to look at the weird and wonderful wildlife that he has never seen before.

I want to be the dad that could run and jump and carry and swing our son around when playing with him.

I want to be the dad that our son looks up to and develops good habits from with respect to being active and healthy and fit.

It’s time to chase these goals. It’s time to make a change.

It’s time to be a FIT DAD!