Tag: new mum

Babies and Capsules and Car Trips….Oh My!

Renee Barton2 Comments

The day we brought Jesse home from hospital was a magical day.

After spending those first few days cooped up within hospital walls trying to figure everything out it was an incredible feeling to finally be leaving with our beautiful bundle. The sun was shining and we were both grinning from ear to ear. And our gorgeous, tiny baby boy was snug in his carrier in the back seat of the car and didn’t make a sound the whole way home.

Over those first few weeks when we managed to venture out of the house we were so proud of ourselves, it all seemed so easy with a newborn.

But something is different. Something has changed.

I now feel dread every time I even think about having to put the boy in his car seat and drive somewhere.

Nothing raises the blood pressure quicker or the stress levels faster than being in a car with a screaming, petrified 3 month old.

Oh yes, those days of a tiny, sleeping newborn in the back seat are over and now it is like we have an entirely different child.

And I have tried everything. Talking to him in soft, soothing tones, playing relaxation music, playing classical music for babies (which by the way sounds god-awful and only adds to the stress), playing motivational audios, singing to him, giving him toys – nothing has worked!

Our car trips as a family have resulted in one of us sitting in the back with him, dummy and bottle at the ready. Which seems to work well. He even drifts off to sleep a lot of the time. But when it is just me… a 15 minute car trip is suddenly my worst nightmare.

I thought babies love going in the car. It puts them to sleep right? Wrong! Well not ours anyway. I guess I should consider myself lucky in that I don’t need to drive my kid around the block at 3am because its the only way to get him to sleep.

As frustrating as it is I really can’t blame the poor little guy. He’s scared. It is dark back there, he is strapped down at an awkward angle and though he can hear mummy he can’t see her.

When I swoop in to rescue him he has worked himself up into a hot sweat and the look of sheer terror on his face breaks my heart. I undo the seatbelt as quickly as I can and hold him close whispering reassuring words into his little ears.

I can only imagine how scared he feels back there but boy, I really hope this phase ends… soon!

One remedy I have heard of is printing out a giant photo of mum’s face and sticking it up where baby can see it.

So if you happen to walk past a car in the car park and see a woman’s big smiling face taped to back seat, it’s me. A desperate mother willing to try anything to stop her baby screaming his lungs out in the car.

If you have any other ideas or if you too have a baby crying uncontrollably in your back seat, let me know I’m not alone. Please.

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Don’t let the smile fool you.

Photo Friday: Baby’s First Camping Trip

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Every year in the last week of August you will find us getting our country on at the Gympie Music Muster. We have been going for over 10 years and it is definitely one of the highlights of our calendar.

This year however was a little different to most. This year we had our 3 month old baby with us.

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Yes, call us crazy, but we took Bub on his first camping trip, 5 nights in the Amamoor State Forest with 50,000 of our closest friends.

And he handled it like a champ!

What I thought was going to be an agonising car trip turned out to be a breeze. He slept the whole way there and back. And the little guy took to camping like a pro. Thunderstorm and all.

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We must say a big thank you to our awesome friends for being so understanding of our situation and for helping to make our time so enjoyable. It was incredibly reassuring to hear how happy they were that we didn’t back out because we had a baby and that it in no way negatively affected their time (no one really gets much sleep at Muster anyway).

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Obviously he is our number one priority and we made all the necessary adjustments to ensure he was safe and comfortable. But it was also great to prove that we can still do the things we love even though we are parents now.

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The Big Sleep Obsession

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When you become a parent, in particular a mum, you become incredibly aware of sleep.

You are either doing it, wishing you were doing it, thinking about doing it or talking about doing it.

Everything is now being weighed up against sleep.

Housework or sleep?

Exercise or sleep?

Sex or sleep?

Sleep will usually trump just about everything else. But often you just want to get some things done or simply enjoy a few minutes to yourself to just lie on the couch and stare stupidly into space (there’s not enough brain power to read all those books I thought I’d catch up on during my maternity leave!).

Watching your baby sleep is both delightful and frustrating. It’s 7.30 pm and he is sleeping. I should really go to bed too. But then BAM… suddenly it’s 9 pm and he’s awake and hungry. Or worse, happy and wanting to play! Damn it, was it really worth staying awake to watch some crappy TV show or do the dishes? I could have had an hours’ sleep!

I’ve now gone 3 months without a solid nights sleep. And I definitely underestimated the concept of sleep deprivation. The last night I slept through was the 25th May. And had I have known it would be my last I would have taken notice and really took pleasure in it.

But that is just life with a baby right. I always knew that would be the case. I’ve missed the odd night of sleep due to a big night of partying and I survived that fine. This will be a piece of cake. No ‘job’ to get up for so I’ll just go with the flow and sleep when I can…

Well that’s all well and good in theory but I’ve come to realise it is really f#*%ing annoying to be woken up 3 times a night, our bodies are not built to do that. And you go through your days with a foggy brain which only gets worse. Some days I really wonder if I should be operating a vehicle!

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Other people are now suddenly obsessed with mine and my babies sleep habits too. Any conversation usually includes “so is he a good sleeper?”

My answer is always yes. But what does that even mean? I say yes because at least I’m getting some sleep. Two hour blocks has now increased to 3-4 hour blocks most nights. And when I get 5 in a row I feel like a new woman!

Then comes the obsession with the elusive ‘sleeping through’ phenomenon. When is my baby going to do it? Her baby is two months younger and is already doing it. Am I ever going to sleep like a normal person (aka my husband) again?

For the most part of the last 3 months we have co-slept. Not something I thought I would do but worked for us and has kept us sane. But I’m now ready to reclaim our bed and sleep comfortably again.

Jesse is not a fan of the bassinet so it looks as though we are going to attempt to move him straight to his cot in his own room. Eek!

Wish us luck!

What are your tips for getting baby to sleep on their own or moving to their cot?

Photo Friday: Baby Discovers His Hand

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One of the most thrilling parts of having a new baby is watching them grow, learn and discover.

Mr Jesse has recently discovered his fist….well the left one at least.  Several times a day when his hand passes his face he gets fixated on it for minutes.  Staring and studying it with immense fascination.

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It is such a joy to watch him discovering his body and the world around him. We look forward to seeing him learn to roll, sit up and all the other precious milestones that are no doubt just around the corner.

What are your favourite milestones to watch your baby achieving?

The Fourth Trimester: A Love Letter to My Son

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It is done. You are officially twelve weeks old. And it has been swell, my love.

After nine beautiful months, three trimesters, of growing you in my belly every day wondering what you would be like. We have now spent the fourth trimester, your first three months in the outside world, falling in love. And I for one am smitten.

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You are the sweetest little boy. I will cherish this special time we’ve had together forever. Our secret rendezvous in the middle of the night. Our delicious afternoon naps together. Carrying you close to my body making us both reminisce about those months you spent inside. And our morning snuggles in bed, my heart melting with every smile.

You have already grown so much. From a tiny, slippery bundle I could hold in my two palms to a chubby bouncing boy. The tiniest clothes were too big for you and now you are filling out your 000 outfits.

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When I felt you kicking in my tummy I knew we had a special connection. When I held you for the first time I knew I loved you. But now that I know you I know that my heart now lives outside my body. When you are sad and cry my heart aches like never before. And when you smile it sings.

These past 3 months haven’t been easy have they, my love. We have had some tough times together. I know you love it out here with us but it has been hard transitioning from the warm and cosy home in my tummy and sometimes you miss it. I miss it too.

Remember our second day together? You were so hungry and we were both learning what to do. We cried together that night in hospital but we made it through.

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I can’t promise that there won’t be more hard times ahead. But I can promise that we’ll be together so we’ll be alright.

My precious boy, thank you for choosing me to be your Mummy.

I love you.

New Mum Reminder: Go Easy on Yourself!

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Our little man is two months old today. He is getting so big and changing every day.

As we get caught up in the daily rituals of nappies and meal times it feels like Jesse has been apart of our family for longer than he has. Sometimes this can lead to disappointment that I don’t quite have it all together all of the time.

Then I am reminded not be so hard on myself, after all it has only been 8 weeks!

So here are some things I think I need to be reminded of. Perhaps you can relate to some of these or add a few of your own…

  1. You are still new at this and that’s OK! You’re not expected to have it all figured out just yet. So your baby likes to be cuddled while he sleeps. He has a textbook breastfeed one time and then doesn’t want a bar of it the next. The dishes are piling up in the sink and you can’t remember the last time you cleaned the loo. Just go with it.  A stressed out Mum will only result in a stressed out bub.
  2. Some other areas of your life may have fallen by the wayside but it’s only temporary. I know you have high expectations of yourself and want to be able to be ‘Super Mum’ and do it all, all of the time. And in time you probably will. But for now, just relax and enjoy this special time. Baby steps are still progress even if it is slower than you might like.
  3. You may catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and wonder who the hell that fat, tired person is glaring back at you, but give yourself a break. You just had a baby for goodness sake! Yes there are some wobbly bits and lumps and bumps where there wasn’t before. Just focus on being healthy and happy for now and your body will soon follow.
  4. So those formula top ups you thought were temporary are still going, so what! Your baby is happy and healthy and that is all that matters. Remember this, each and every breastfeed, even if it is for just a few minutes, is doing wonders for your baby. Don’t be ashamed that you also have to give your baby bottles. You might feel like everyone is judging you but in fact other mums are probably thinking ‘Thank God, its not just me’!
  5. Trust your instincts. Sleep routines, controlled crying methods, co-sleeping, bed sharing, breasts, bottles, dummies, disposable nappies, cloth nappies, baby wearing; it seems everyone has an opinion about everything and there are so many concepts and ideas out there that at times, it can be very overwhelming. Just do what feels right. And if in the end it doesn’t work out, well, just try something else.

Just remember ‘this too shall pass’. That is both a blessing and a curse. Yes waking up several times throughout the night and a baby that won’t sleep for more than an hour on his own will eventually be things of the past. But so will those sleepy snuggles and those goofy gummy grins. So try to enjoy it all; the good, the bad and the sleep deprived.

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As women we can often be our own worst enemy. And as mothers we are often each others. Let’s cut ourselves some slack and while we are at it, be nicer to each other as well.

Breast or bottle, disposable or cloth, controlled crying or attachment parenting – no matter how we are doing it we are all going through the same things and just trying to be the best Mums we can be.

So try to be kinder to yourself and while you’re at it, give a smile or a word of encouragement to fellow Mum. It might be all she needs to brighten an otherwise stressful or frustrating day.

10 Thoughts of a Sleep Deprived Mum During Night Feeds

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I’m sure other Mum’s will agree that we can have some pretty weird and wonderful thoughts when we are awake through the night tending to our little ones.

It is a special time. The rest of the house is quiet and dark. Baby cuddles up to you and stares lovingly at you with their big blue eyes whilst guzzling their midnight snack. But its not all warm and fuzzy. Literally! It has been pretty cold in Brisbane lately, peeling back the doona is even more difficult now and don’t even mention having to get your boobs out in the cold night air! It can be downright frustrating too. When all you want to do is sleep but baby is cranky, hungry, wet, cold, hot….and its your job to figure out which of these it is so that you can both get back to sleep as soon as possible.

So, here are 10 thoughts I’m sure we’ve all have whilst fulfilling this motherly duty.

  1. My life sucks right now.
  2. Has it been 3 hours already??
  3. Shit its cold!
  4. Awww….look at my husband sound asleep completely oblivious to everything….asshole!
  5. I am the luckiest Mummy in the world….and boy do I make cute babies!
  6. My life is awesome right now.
  7. I wonder what is happening on Facebook at 3am…..hmmm, not much!
  8. Ok, please settle so we can get back to sleep now.
  9. I’m sooo bloody tired! OMG, am I ever going to sleep though the night again ever?!
  10. Great, we’re done….well at least until you wake me up again in a few hours time and we do it all again.

All jokes aside, we wouldn’t have it any other way would we mums? As we pat their backs and kiss their faces and smell their heads, we know we are the luckiest (albeit tired-est) mummies in the world.

Thoughts during the night

Happy One Month Birthday

Renee Barton3 Comments

We have a four week old baby. Yup, we have managed to navigate our way through parenthood for one whole month. And fairly successfully I would say.

Most say by the six week mark we will finally emerge from the haze that is life with a newborn. That sounds about right too as I don’t quite think we are there yet. However we have started to find a rhythm and even on the most difficult days there is still so much to be joyful about. Jesse is starting to smile a lot so that is all that we need to brighten our day and lift our spirits.

He is also starting to spend more time awake. Instead of just feeding and sleeping we now have a sprightly and curious bub for several hours a day. So we have been finding ways we can interact with him and help him develop.

You’ll find us giving Jesse a blow by blow of everything we are doing from changing his nappy and clothes to a running commentary of the Brisbane Broncos game.

And today we have pulled out his new play mat and a multitude of rattles and toys (all which were gifts from family and friends) so that we can start some play time with him.

I have no idea whether it is too early for all of that, but he already seemed to really like the shiny colours and interesting noises of the toys hanging across his carrier. And then it all must have got too much for him because he soon fell fast asleep. A win-win I suppose.

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I was hoping not to be one of those parents that wishes their child doesn’t grow up and instead just relish in every stage and every age. But even four weeks in I am starting to have those thoughts. He has already changed so much since he was born and pretty soon he will be too big for his 00000 clothes.

A reminder that no matter how monotonous or challenging some days may feel, this too shall pass. So drink it all in and cherish all the beautiful moments. And the tough ones too.

Photo Friday: The Journey of Jesse

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Long before I fell pregnant I saw a collage like this on the inter-web and I really wanted to do it.  So I took a screen shot as you do and it sat in my phone for a long time amongst other pregnancy related photo and video ideas that I loved.

Photo 1: We’re Pregnant

This photograph captures the sheer joy and amazement that we finally saw a positive pregnancy test.  The beginning of the most wonderful adventure.

Photo 2: In Full Bloom

The second photograph was taken at 36 weeks pregnant.  As I hold my swollen belly and relish in the joy of pregnancy we anticipate the little occupant who will soon be joining our family.

Photo 3: Welcome to the World

And finally, I hold the baby in my arms that had occupied my belly for all that time.  I felt a connection with my baby during pregnancy but it has taken on a whole new meaning now that I know it was him in there.  Now that I can kiss his face and touch his feet and we can look into each other’s eyes, I fall more in love each day.

Welcome to the world Jesse Jack Barton.