We were all getting a bit of cabin fever this past long weekend (especially Jesse!) so we packed a picnic and invited some family to join us for some outdoor time at a local park.
Jesse had a blast swinging with Nanny, lunch time with Aunty Lia and Uncle Matt doting over him and his first time chasing a soccer ball around.
Working in the city when you live as far out into the suburbs as we do, means that every day you have to deal with a long commute. And when I tell people that it takes me an hour and a half to get to work of a morning (and an hour and a half to get home in the afternoon), they often look at me with a face that says “are you crazy?!”
I almost always say to them, as they continue to stare at me with that “are you crazy?!” look, that I’ve been working in the city ever since I graduated High School in 2001. So basically, a long commute to and from work is all I’ve ever known. And because of that fact, it has never really bothered me.
Well fast forward to 2016 and the long commute to and from work is getting just that little bit harder to take day by day.
Let’s put it this way… At the moment, I generally leave the house at 6:30am every morning and generally don’t get home from work until nearly 6:00pm most nights. And as for getting home by 6:00pm, that is assuming I get out of the office at 4:15pm every afternoon. If I don’t, well, depending on the public transport schedule, my home time could blow out to anywhere between 6:30pm to 7:00pm.
Unfortunately, this means that during the week, because of my long commute, I get very limited awake time with Jesse.
When I leave for work of a morning, Jesse is either still asleep, or has just woken up. And when I do manage to get home by 6:00pm, because at that time it’s smack bang in the middle of his bedtime routine, he is usually asleep (most of the time) not too long after I get home.
For that reason, I really cherish the time I get to spend with him during the week. Simply because of the fact that my awake time with him can be quite limited.
Just over the past week, there was one day where I didn’t get to see him awake at all. I left work when he was asleep. And when I got home, I got home to this… Our cheeky little monkey completely worn out from a big day asleep on mummy’s lap. Down and out for the night.
And this is the exact reason that I am starting to find it just that little bid harder, day by day, to accept such a long commute to work.
I know there are plenty of options out there available for people who have long commutes to and from work. Hot-desking at local work hubs… Working from home… Flexible work arrangements…
And these are all options I am really starting to think about with more seriousness as the days and weeks and months fly by with Jesse.
Because at the end of the day, time does fly by. I mean Jesse is turning one next month. ONE!!! I can’t believe that. And because it is flying by so quickly, I can’t help but feel bad that I am unable to spend that quality time with him during the week.
The saddest thing of all, is that I know I’m not the only one in this situation. There are a lot of mums and dads out there that have long commutes to work who don’t get to spend a lot of quality time with their kids during the week. And when there is so much flexibility available for work arrangements, I think this is very sad.
With all that said, I am thankful that Renee is able to spend all the time in the world with Jesse during the week given that she is a stay-at-home mum come Kangatrainer legend!!!
So while I continue to deal with my long commute to and from work, I will make the most of my cuddles in bed with him now that we have started co-sleeping again.
I know, that I will get to spend quality time with Jesse during the week soon enough!
This is a bit of a throwback Thursday on a Friday.
Yes. That totally makes sense!
We love getting outdoors with Jesse. And he absolutely LOVES it! Crawling in the grass… the fresh air… the wonderful new smells and sights… It must be like a sensory overload for him.
And now that it’s getting a little bit cooler, I imagine us getting outdoors a lot more often!
Autumn in Queensland = Love!
I think its over. After nearly 11 months I think my breastfeeding journey with Jesse is coming to an end.
And yes, I am sad about it. I never really understood the emotional part of stopping until recently. But I’m also really happy and proud that we were able to do it for this long.
When I last shared about my breastfeeding experiences Jesse was 5 months old and I was hoping to keep going for at least one more month. And here we are another 5 months later.
Breast feeds have become less and less frequent over the last few months, so about two weeks ago we decided to start weaning from night feeds and start encouraging Jesse to take a bottle through the night instead. This was mostly because he was waking up so many times during the night to comfort feed that I needed to do something. Within a few days it had worked and I was then just offering once through the day; more so because I wasn’t quite ready to stop yet. But it has now been several days since our last feed so I am coming to terms with it being over for good now.
I could feel the end was near so I made sure I treasured those few minutes a day together over the last couple of weeks. And I’m embracing the fact that my baby is no longer a baby and will soon be turning one. Oh my!
Now that I’m at the final stages, I have loved breastfeeding my son so much. It was such a special time together and often times the only thing that would soothe him. Whether it be sore gums from teething, a tummy ache or a bad dream. It was Mummy and her magic boobs to the rescue.
But there were times when I was so tired and felt so touched out that it really was one of the most challenging parts of being a new mum. There are many things I will miss about breastfeeding but also several that I won’t. I am also really excited to wear normal bras again. Normal clothes again. And not be the only one that can get up to him through the night! Yay!
Let’s face it though, I probably still will.
So until next time, that is the end of breastfeeding for me. It has been lovely. And hard. And beautiful. And exhausting.
And I wouldn’t change a thing.
This past week I probably had my worst nights sleep since becoming a dad.
Before I go into that, let me start from the beginning though.
I have been incredibly lucky with my sleep since becoming a first time dad. Renee, who is an absolute legend of a first time mum in my books, incredibly, unselfishly and without hesitation took on the night shifts when it came to getting up to Jesse when he woke throughout the night.
In the beginning, she was breastfeeding, so there wasn’t much use for me to be awake. And our rationale was that it was better having one well rested parent for the day to take on most of the responsibility.
Then, I went back to work, while Renee continued her journey as a stay at home mum. We both agreed that again, there was wasn’t much use for me to get up throughout the night so that I was tired for work the next day.
What an amazing woman right! I am an incredibly lucky man to have someone who has practically been a sleep deprived mess for the past 10 months, but hasn’t complained about it one bit.
Cut to last Wednesday night.
Jesse has been teething and on top of this, he is going through his latest leap. This has resulted in a very unhappy and unsettled boy over the past week or two.
Wednesday night, I went through Jesse’s new bedtime routine which has become one of my new responsibilities. One that I cherish and love to do. He fell asleep relatively easily at around 7pm, which has become somewhat of the normal time he falls asleep for the first time of a night.
9:30pm he wakes for the first time. Something that we’ve become used to recently. Him waking up often throughout the night. Well, trying to get him back to sleep after he woke was nearly impossible!
Everything Renee tried just simply would not work. He was quiet when he had a boob in his mouth, but as soon as that stopped he would wake up. Renee would try and stand and he would wake up crying. Renee would try and put him down in his cot, and he would start screaming.
Cue me to try and calm the situation. I manage to get him to to fall asleep in my arms without waking up. SUCCESS!
Go to put him in his cot, and again he would start screaming!
It turns out the only thing that would stop him from screaming was bringing him into our bed with us.
So that’s exactly what we did. We brought him into our bed, where he tossed and turned until he found a comfortable spot in bed. He had his chest and head laying up on my pillow pressed in as close as he could to my face.
Every time I would move, he would shuffle over pressing his head back against my face. At one stage, he was almost pushing me off my own pillow.
And that is how I lay in bed… until 2am the next morning. Not sleeping. Just snuggling with our little Jesse, listening to his breathing as he slept soundly.
And you know what, despite the fact that I didn’t get to sleep until 2am… and despite the fact that I was tired at work the next day, I loved EVERY… SINGLE… SECOND of him snuggled into my face as he slept that night.
Since that night we have thrown the rule book out the window and decided that for all 3 of our sakes, if having Jesse sleep in our bed means that we get a better night sleep, well dammit he will sleep in our bed!
And that’s what we’ve done. For the past 3 nights he has slept in our bed. And you know what, I think it’s the best sleep Jesse and Renee have gotten in months!
As for me, I get to fall asleep every night knowing that I’m snuggling with my two favourite people in the whole wide world!
I read a story recently that has continued to impact on me and challenge me since reading it.
The story was of one mum’s promise to go to her baby when he cried for her no matter how tired or touched out she was, as the result of learning a heartbreaking reality for babies in an African orphanage.
She recounted the experience of a friend who had visited an orphanage and had been struck by how quiet one of the rooms was despite having over 100 babies in it. When they asked how so many babies could be so quiet the response was that they’ve realised no one is coming for them when they cry so they just don’t any more.
Uh. Cue heart break.
Straight away I related to this woman’s promise to her baby to go to him. That’s the kind of mum I want to be I thought to myself. I felt so sad at the thought of a little baby crying for their mother that would never come to them.
That night as I heard Jesse stir through the monitor for the fourth time since putting him down I threw back the covers and whispered into the darkness “damn it, Jesse”.
Doesn’t he know I’m tired? Doesn’t he know that I can’t take many more nights like this?
As I stepped into the hallway hearing his cry getting more desperate, I felt a pang of guilt and the story came flooding back to me.
No. He doesn’t know I’m in the other room praying for more than a couple of hours of sleep in a row. All he knows is its dark, he’s alone and he wants me to comfort him.
The same battle plays out through the day as he constantly climbs up my leg begging to be cuddled only to want to be put down again moments later. And then up again. And then down again.
My patience wears thin. But what about that promise to go to him no matter what? What about those silent babies who’ve given up on waiting for someone to come to them.
Goodness me. Being a parent really is a mind f*** isn’t it!
I was going to finish the post there feeling there wasn’t much else left to say when something beautiful happened.
I scooped up a begging Jesse into my arms for the hundredth time and read back this post aloud the way I always do before publishing it. And almost as if he knew what I needed, Jesse reached out, turned my face towards his and pressed his open mouth against mine. I was expecting an enthusiastic poke in the eye or finger shoved in my mouth but this was so much better. So gentle, so loving.
And just like that my love tank is full again.
Our bub turning 9 months feels like a milestone in itself. He’s been out in the world for the same amount of time he was in my belly.
Two more little white teeth poked through pink gums this month. But not without some tantrums and sleepless nights.
Most Easter long weekends you will find us camping, usually with family out at Stanthorpe on the Granite Belt. But this Easter weekend, Jesse’s first Easter we stayed close to home and enjoyed 4 days of fun, family and relaxation.
On Good Friday we ventured to the Sails Festival at Suttons Beach. Us and pretty much everyone else from the Moreton Bay region! Finding a car park took about 3 times as long as it took to drive there but we finally found one. We enjoyed a few hours by the seaside browsing the markets, eating delicious food and chilling out with my folks.
Saturday morning was a pretty typical one for us, weight training followed by domestic duties. But in the afternoon Kaine and I headed out for some lunch and a wander around the shops. Just the two of us while Jesse had some Aunty Lia time (he slept for the first two hours much to her dismay).
On Easter Sunday, as I watched my Facebook feed fill with the great lengths parents went to for Easter egg hunts, we headed off bright and early to Lake Somerset. We aren’t big on the whole chocolate thing at Easter time. But I see as Jesse gets older we will have to lift our game – some parents were going all out with bunny footprints through the house and the whole deal!
Our day on the lake was great. Jesse had his first boat ride (apparently V8 engines are soothing and he went straight to sleep) and my first time driving a jet ski (do you drive a jet ski?). It rained a little and was overcast most of the day but we didn’t care. We had a great time.
We closed out the weekend with a day at home. We filmed Jesse’s 9 month milestone video and enjoyed a family stroll to the park in the afternoon.
Long weekends are divine aren’t they.
I know it’s been said many times before… But having a baby is a big responsibility!
Being responsible for this tiny little human that can’t fend for themselves and that needs your care 24/7 is huge! And as a result, your new little bundle of joy soon becomes all you think about.
You think about them when you wake up. You think about them when you’re with them. You think about them when you’re at work. You even think about them when you’re asleep.
And this, is where one of the funniest running episodes in our household has started unfolding.
Okay, imagine this…
You’re sound asleep. Have been for hours. You’re chest is softly rising and falling with each breath. You’re pleasantly dreaming away. You are at that point where you are in your deepest sleep. You’re cosy. You’re safe.
And then it happens.
All of a sudden your partner (the wife in my case) startles you awake with a jolt! And not just once… On multiple nights…
W … T … F … !
So like I was saying, I’m sound asleep, and then out of nowhere, bloody Renee grabs me by the arm as I roll over in my sleep because she thinks it’s Jesse rolling out of bed!
Oh yea, that’s right… full on grabs me and wakes me up with a fright! On multiple occasions. You see what I mean with the whole, you even think about them when you’re sleeping.
“What the hell?!?!” I said to her one night.
“I’m so sorry, I thought you were Jesse rolling out of bed.” We both have a little chuckle and go back to sleep.
Two nights later, happens again… “Really? Again?”
“Sorry… I thought you were Jesse again” she says.
Two nights later, happens again. “WHAT THE ACTUAL F***! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP IT!!!”
Yes, I actually got mad at Renee one night… Keep in mind I was half asleep, I was woken up with a fright, and I can’t believe that she’s done it again.
It is actually pretty funny when we talk about it the next day, but damn I wish she’d stop grabbing me all of a sudden at 2am in the morning because she thinks Jesse is falling out of bed. I mean, he doesn’t even sleep in our bed any more.
However, almost every morning when I get up for work, I bring Jesse into bed with Renee. It’s like a morning ritual. The two would doze together or at least Renee would while Jesse played with some toys that we keep stashed on the bedside table.
But a few weeks ago while Renee dozed as I got ready for work, our newly mobile bub fell off the bed to the floor with a startling thud that woke Renee from her morning slumber. It would now seem that this moment, has scarred her for life. Yup, pretty sure it has since she now panics every time I roll over in the middle of the night, thinking it’s Jesse about to roll off the bed again.
I guess they are right when the say women never sleep the same way again after becoming a mum.
The struggles…
not so secret life of us 