Category: Feelings

Falling in love all over again…

Kaine Barton2 Comments

The morning started like any other morning has over the past week and a half. I slowly opened my eyes as my senses alerted me to the light of the morning sun starting to peek through the blinds and the sounds of birds chirping and early morning mowing rolled through the bedroom.

Like most mornings, I quickly came to realise that Jesse was laying in bed next to me. Rolling over to face him I began to watch his chest rising and falling with each breath. His tiny little mouth slightly open and letting out little snore like sounds. His whispy hair flicking back and forth as the fan oscillated back and forth.

Renee was still sleeping. Breathing the heavy breaths of a woman who is 39 weeks pregnant and constantly exhausted. Sleeping soundly because at that moment, she wasn’t experiencing the contractions that have kept her awake some nights.

It was peaceful. It was serene. And I didn’t want to disturb what was such a beautiful moment.

So I lay there. Awake, but as still as I could be. I lay there and found myself staring at Jesse… his eyes… his ears… his tiny little mouth and lips… his whispy blonde hair… his red, puffy cheeks… his nose…


I stared at him, wondering how we came to create such an amazing little person… How did we create this gorgeous, spirited, amazing little man that has captured our hearts so much?

I stared at him until I realised I was falling in love with him all over again.

It was almost like an out of body experience. Like I was floating above watching myself staring at this tiny little human that was silently sleeping in between us. It felt like a dream. Like it wasn’t quite real and that I needed to reach out and touch him just to make sure he was real and he was truly ours.

But I didn’t need to. Because he is real. He is ours. He is the cheeky little monkey that we have  grown to love more and more each day over the past 22 months.

And then he opened his eyes and all of a sudden, those gorgeous blue eyes were staring back at me, like he knew what I was doing all along.

The countdown begins…

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

The countdown has begun.

The countdown to my last day of work before I start my leave to welcome Baby Barton #2 into this world has begun.

And damn I’m getting excited!

Thursday, 6 April 2017 will be my last day at work for the next 6 weeks. That’s right… the start of 6 weeks of holidays leave is almost here. But while I may not be at work, I will still have plenty of work to do!

I wish I could say that it’s going to be a holiday… but those of you who have had the pleasure of having a newborn at home know that a lot of the time, it’s the farthest thing from a holiday! Throw into the mix the fact that we already have a toddler and that we will for a few weeks have the distinct pleasure of having two under two… it’s sure to be a recipe for disaster! Or that’s at least what I’m preparing myself for.

Nah… in all honesty, I’m really looking forward to it. At the end of the day, it will be some much needed family time together, without the stresses and distractions of work. We will just have to deal with a different type of stress… the stress of a newborn.

With all that said, it still doesn’t quite feel all that real as yet. I mean, all the signs are there… we’ve completed the new nursery for Baby Barton #2. We’ve washed the tiny baby clothes we had away in storage. Renee’s belly is growing by the minute… but it still doesn’t feel like we are going to have another tiny little baby in our arms any week now. It still feels as though it hasn’t fully sunk in as yet.

Another baby? Really? Is it actually going to happen?


Of course it’s going to happen… maybe it just hasn’t sunken in yet because I’m still so focused on other things. But it’s going to happen!

The big question from here is… when is it going to happen?

Well, the official due date is 19 April 2017. But, Renee is currently full term and with our last pregnancy, Jesse decided he wanted to meet the world early. So what about this time around… well, I am going on the record with the following predictions…

Baby Barton #2 will be a girl, born on 12 April 2017, weighing in at 6lb 5oz and will be 51cm in length.

It won’t be too long before we find out if my predictions are right!

Waiting for Baby Barton Number Two

Renee BartonLeave a comment

A little under two years ago we published our first blog Waiting for Baby Barton . After a fairly lengthy TTC process, I was 37 weeks pregnant with our first baby and we were eagerly anticipating baby’s arrival.

Now that sweet baby boy is a cheeky toddler, two months shy of his second birthday and soon to be a big brother. And I am again 37 weeks pregnant.

It all seems so surreal. Some days I still can’t quite believe that within the next few weeks we will be a family of four and will have a tiny newborn again.

But then my giant belly, constant braxton hicks, aching back and constipation reminds me that it is in fact real! Oh the joys of the final month of pregnancy. When simple tasks of rolling over in bed, putting shoes on or bathing the toddler are like doing a workout. I love it though, and try to never take the blessing of pregnancy for granted.

It’s funny, it feels like so much has changed since last time and yet it’s so familiar too. Again wondering what will our baby look like? Will it be a boy or a girl? How and when will I go into labour? Will I be a good mum?

I guess it’s always the same questions no matter how many children you have.

But, the bassinet is ready and the baby clothes are washed and folded. The hospital bags are in various stages of packed and the car seat ready to be installed. Dad is counting down the days to his parental leave and keeping fingers crossed baby stays in until then. While Mum is savouring these last weeks of pregnancy and preparing mind and body for birth. All the while big brother is blissfully unaware of what’s to come.

Montage

To you my big boy, mummy loves you so much. You will be the most wonderful big brother. It is a big responsibility being the eldest but I know you will take it all in your stride and continue to be the funny, loving, cheeky boy that you are.

And to my second little love curled up safely in my tummy, it will soon be time to come and meet us my precious one. Scary I know, but I promise it will all be okay and we will all be together soon.

Until then….we wait…

Hi! My name is…

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

So as you would all be well aware, Baby Barton #2 is literally only weeks away from gracing us with its presence. And along with all the planning and preparation couples need to do when they are expecting a new bundle of joy, comes one of if not the most important thing that needs to be considered and agreed on before the arrival of any baby.

Names!

That right… what you decide to call your new addition to the family is probably one of the biggest decisions you’ll make in your life… right there behind deciding to have kids in the first place!

I mean, just think about it. You are responsible for naming a human! NAMING THEM!!! This boy or girl will be stuck with this name for the rest of their life… that is assuming it’s not something ridiculous like North West that the child will probably change by law when they’re an adult! What a responsibility.

And I can tell you right now, that choosing names for the arrival of your impending child is bloody hard!

There are so many things you need to think about when choosing a name for you baby. Things like… spelling of the name. Do you go for something common, or uncommon? Classic or modern? Do you give them a middle name? Will the name stand the test of time? Will it sound odd calling a grown adult by the name you choose for your child? What do the initials spell out (especially if you give your child a middle name)?

There’s so much to think about that it sometimes gets a little overwhelming and you just kind of sweep it under the rug with the intention of dealing with it later. Except, there comes a point in time when you can’t sweep it under the rug any longer. There comes a point where you need to finalise your list and decide on the names you like. Because otherwise, you’ll have a nameless baby!

And this is currently the problem we are having in our household. Choosing names we both like for both sexes… because for some reason… someone didn’t want to find out the sex of the baby!

When we first started looking at names for Baby Barton #2 we thought it would be easy. We agreed on a list of 3 options for both girls and boys for when Jesse was born. We just had it working like a well-oiled machine.

But this time around… oh dear. We just can’t decide on anything. We have a number of girls names we like, but are still tossing up what to do for the middle name.

But… we don’t have any boys names we are absolutely in love with. Not a single one. And then on top of that, we have no middle names for the boys either. Even the ones we had on the list when Jesse was born we now don’t like. So if we ended up with another boy currently, we’d be screwed!

The other big problem we have, is the whole, well this name would be cute for a little girl, but is anyone really going to take a grown woman seriously with that same name?

YOU SEE!!! THIS SH*T IS HARD!!!

I do know one thing though… we need to get this sorted out sooner rather than later! Because if we don’t come up a list of names that we both agree on and love soon, we will be in big trouble! I mean, we can’t call it Baby Barton #2 forever… … … or can we?

Photo Friday: Sick bubba… 😢

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

So as you know from our last post… our little guy is one sick bubba. And it didn’t seem like he was getting any better.

Well, after two doctors visits we finally have an answer. Poor little Jesse is currently fighting through a case of Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease!

Yup, that’s right, Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease is the worst. Vomiting… diarrhoea… lethargy… Jesse is certainly not enjoying himself. And I know exactly how he feels, because I’ve had the pleasure of having caught this disease myself as an adult. Renee is now the only one in our house to not have to suffer the effects of the most unfortunately named disease out there.

I mean come on… how awful of a name is Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease!

So unfortunately, all we can do is make Jesse as comfortable as we can while he fights it off. It means plenty of paracetamol, keeping up his fluids as best we can, and letting him sleep it off.

Which is exactly what he’s been doing for most of today.


Get better soon little buddy… we miss your cheeky smile and bubbly outlook to life! 😢

When toddlers go full Exorcist!!!

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

Our house is in turmoil! Okay, so maybe it’s not quite that bad, but it is. Our house is in TURMOIL!!! Throughout this week, our happy go lucky (for the most part) boy has been not so happy or lucky. He’s been quite the opposite. Clingy… Sad… Cranky… Sleepy…


Jesse is unfortunately, not a happy bubba… Jesse is sick. And I’m not just talking teething symptoms or head cold sick… I’m talking a projectile vomiting, diarrhoea inducing, inconsolable crying and just plain miserable kind of sick. The kind of sick that you wish you could just heal them from instantly, even if it meant taking on the symptoms yourself.

While our little fella Jesse has been out of sorts for a little while, it has been the last few days that his symptoms increased in severity. What started out with what appeared to be just teething symptoms, turned into a scene straight from the movie ‘The Exorcist’!

It all started when we brought him into our bed on Wednesday night so we could lay with him while he fell asleep. It’s what we do every night. We love that time laying with him, listening to each breath and hearing that transition from being awake to that slow heavy breathing when he finally fell asleep. But not that night. There was a different plan for us that night.

Instead of hearing his breathing slow down while he fell into slumber, we were instead met with the sound of him heaving followed by projectile vomiting all over me and all through our bed. I had no idea this much liquid could come out of such a small human being! It was everywhere… all over me… through the sheets… over our pillows… and it was 9pm so the last thing we wanted to deal with was a vomit soaked bed. It was lucky that we had just recently invested in a mattress protector.

I tell you what… you have never seen two people jump out of bed quicker than when your toddler decides it’s the perfect place to unload a gallon of vomit.

Despite the start to the night, we survived the rest of it until the next morning when the diarrhoea, and more vomiting came. The diarrhoea wasn’t so bad to deal with… his nappies were holding up sufficiently. However, is delicate little bottom was another story. His poor bottom looks like it’s been smeared with a Ghost Pepper it’s that red. And every time he passed wind, it would inevitably end up with follow through which would end in crying and screaming because of how red and raw his delicate little bottom was.

And then on top of that, we again had to deal with projectile vomit. Luckily, he chose the tiled floor as his canvas this time, so the damage was minimised. Until later that night, when he decided Renee was the perfect target this time… with more vomit… and more crying.

RIGHT!!! THAT’S IT!!! Time for a home doctor visit…

Fortunately, there isn’t anything majorly wrong… it doesn’t seem to be a virus… he isn’t dehydrated… the only think we can really put it down too was we changed his formula. Since changing him back to his regular formula, the vomiting has seemed to stop and the diarrhoea seems to be less frequent.

But he is still in a sort of zombie-like state where he just seems really lethargic and run down.

Luckily, we have endless episodes of Pingu and Twirly Woos to keep him content while he battles through it. Isn’t streaming just the best invention ever! I mean who doesn’t want to just lie around binge watching tellie when they’re sick?!

And on that note, isn’t being sick just the worst… but watching your little one be sick and not being able to do much to help… that is heartbreaking!!!

We need your help…

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

We need your help…

We have never used our blog to ask for help before. And we certainly don’t want to come across as taking advantage of our followers through our internet presence. But we really do need your help.

Our extended family is currently going through a tough time in their lives. It’s a story we’re sure a lot of other families out there are familiar with. It’s a story that ultimately, never seems to have a happy ending. It’s a story, that involves cancer.

Aunty Carmel, a dear member of our family, is in urgent need of a daily home palliative care nurse to help with her needs during the day so that Uncle Phil can still go to work to pay the household bills while still being able to take time out to look after and spend quality time with her.

Aunty Carmel is by no means a burden and we all love spending time with her. Unfortunately the care required is going to be quite costly and their only other alternative is to be put on the QLD Health wait list for free assistance. Sadly time is not with her.

Aunty Carmel has the biggest heart of anyone we have met. She would give anything to help anyone in their time of need without expecting anything in return, which even extended to total strangers. This is just one example of the type of selfless, caring woman she is, which is why she is so dearly loved by everyone that has had the pleasure of her in their lives.

Sadly Aunty Carmel is bed ridden after being diagnosed with Melanoma cancer. And unfortunately, she now needs our help, but would never ask for it.

A ‘Go Fund Me’ page has been created as a way of us helping these wonderful, loving people to not have to worry about financial costs and just enjoy each others company with the time they have left together.

Please help us make their time together easier by donating as much, or as little as you can afford.

Help us, help them fight!

Help Aunty Carmel – Donate Now

HOPE

Jesse LOVES twenty one pilots!!!

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

When Jesse was younger (not that he’s all that old now… hahaha), he used to love it when I would lay him on my chest, play music videos on my iPhone and sing along.

And it would appear that lately, he has started to enjoy this once again.

But its not just any music videos that he will lay there to enjoy while he drifts off to sleep… oh no… it MUST be twenty one pilots videos. He just LOVES twenty one pilots!

As soon as he hears the beginning of Heathens start playing, he runs over to me with a grin from ear to ear, climbs up on my chest, gets comfortable and just enjoys the music and my singing (as horrible as it is) while he drifts off to sleep.

Heathens… Stressed Out… Lane Boy… heavydirtysoul… he loves them all.

Now I don’t really know if the music video for Heathens is the most appropriate video for an almost 2 year old to watch, but hey… at least he likes good music right!!!

 

Let’s talk about (Pregnancy) Sex, baby…

Renee Barton1 Comment

We don’t often write about sex. After all, many of our readers are our relatives. But let’s be real, we are having our second baby so even our parents know we’ve had sex at least twice!

When you’ve been married a long time like we have, sex is fairly predictable. Not in a bad way by any means, you just know what works. You know each other’s needs so well you can pretty much just assume positions and get it done… so to speak.

It’s lovely and familiar and satisfying… But predictable.

But then something throws a spanner in the works. You’ve heard of parent sex right? You know, that ‘hurry up and get your pants off, the kids are finally occupied or asleep’ sex. The type of sex that’s more about speed and efficiency rather than foreplay, intimacy and taking ones time…

Well pregnancy sex is a whole other challenge entirely.  And pregnant-parent sex… well that’s just funny really.

It all started when we finally had our bed to ourselves again last night. Yes! Hurdle number one overcome. Jesse was asleep, and he was asleep in his own bed. Time to make the most of the opportunity. Who knows if (or when) he will wake up and want back into our bed!

However, we quickly realised hurdle number two. Pregnancy. You know that familiar and predictable yet satisfying sex we talked about earlier? Well, it no longer works when you’ve got a huge belly to accommodate. Just rolling over is a struggle let alone trying to be sexy and getting into a position that’s comfortable and…. ahem…. effective.

Oh well, not to be perturbed we pressed on.

Just when we think we’ve found our groove…..dammit… leg cramp. That’s ok. Let’s keep going. Shit… butt cramp. Hang on, let me roll over for a second.

“Ok, let’s try something else. What about we try getting into a position that’s more comfortable?” he says.

Yup, great… let’s do that! Again, not to be perturbed by mood killing cramps mid-session, we fumble our way in the dark. Only slightly resembling a beached whale and sea world rescuer.

Who cares! We press on with the knowledge we might not get the opportunity again for a while. And it’s only going to get more difficult! Initially by a larger bump as we head towards D-day, but then by being parents of two under two.

But as for last night, yes it was funny… no it wasn’t the most romantic time we’ve had. But we got the job done!

High fives all round because we just had pregnancy sex and it was awkwardly great!


 

Learning the art of patience!

Kaine BartonLeave a comment

If there is one thing that I have come to realise of late, it’s that perhaps I need to learn (or is it that I need to re-learn) the art of patience and understanding.

And no-one probably understands this more than Renee.

How is it that I’ve come to this conclusion?

Well, it would seem that in our household, both Renee and I have different ways of dealing with stressful situation when Jesse is involved. And this has become increasingly more evident throughout the past few weeks while Jesse fights his way through what appears to be the last of his teething.

And throughout these past few weeks, at the times when the teething was so bad that Jesse was at worst practically inconsolable, was when I truly began to feel that if I’m going to have any sort of success as a dad, that I need to exercise more patience and understanding. Because it would appear that as of right now, Renee is far better at coping than I am.

I hate seeing Jesse when he is inconsolably crying and screaming, pushing us away and fighting us with everything we try to do to make him feel better. I know it tears us both up inside not knowing what is wrong or what he needs to feel better. But unfortunately, when Jesse is in such a state and I can’t do anything to help, I fail to remain calm. I not only feel upset and helpless that I am failing to help my son while he is in pain, but I start getting angry. I start losing patience. And I start losing understanding.

I don’t blame Jesse. He can’t help it. And I know that if he could communicate what was wrong, he would.

But in that moment, I forget all about the fact that Jesse can’t communicate. I start to get upset. I start to get angry (not at Renee or Jesse, but at the situation). And at that point I become useless and ultimately fail as a dad.

Inevitably, I usually end up leaving the room, or I will start pacing back and forth until either Renee has managed to settle Jesse down, or he has settled himself down. But by then it’s too late. I have failed by not being able to deal with the pressures of parenting.


So this might be one of the hardest posts I’ve written to date, but also one of the most important. Because as you would know by now, we have baby number two due in less than two months’ time. And when baby number two arrives, Renee is going to need all the help she can get. And what I’m seriously now starting to realise, is if I continue to lack patience and understanding when it comes to the needs of Jesse and baby number two, then Renee may find it very hard to cope.

I don’t know if there are any other dads, or even mums out there who can relate to this. But please know, that if you do find it hard to handle the pressure during those tough situations as a parent, you’re not the only one! You’re not alone! Don’t feel ashamed, recognise it, and try to improve on yourself to become a better, more patient, more understanding parent.

Renee is such a great mum and is a gun when it comes to handling the pressure in those tough situations. And while I still consider myself to be a great dad, there are definitely areas I can improve on.

So taking that first step in recognising that this is something I need to work on, is a step in the right direction. Especially because I no longer want to feel like a failure as a dad the next time Jesse or baby number two is in pain.

It’s time to change!