Sleeping baby. Nek Minnut…

So imagine this… it’s a Tuesday afternoon and I’m sitting at my computer at work, missing Renee and Jesse like crazy. I decide to send Renee a quick text to see how it’s all going.

I get a text back saying everything is great. They had a great time at the shops, especially Jesse. He had such a great time in fact, that he is soundly sleeping.

Not long after that I get this photo through.

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O … M … G …

My heart melted and all I wanted to do was leave work, head home and snuggle into him while he slept.

I shoot a text message back through about how cute he looks.

Two minutes later, I get another text from Renee saying “Scrap that, this is him now!”

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My first reaction was… WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!?!

Then, I kind of felt a little happy that I was at work and didn’t have to deal with his tantrums all afternoon.

Good luck with that babe… I ummm, actually have a lot of work to do, so I better get back to it. HAHAHA…

Oh how quickly things can change when you have kids!

Sunday Not-So-Fun Day

Here’s a question. Why do they make toddler shoes so f%#*ing hard to put on?!!

Allow me to set the scene for you. 

It’s a rainy Sunday afternoon and we have a 1st birthday party to go to. We are already running late. Jesse is grumpy because he woke up too soon from what is usually a two hour nap. Kaine is just now deciding to make his lunch when it’s time to go. And I’m feeling just generally pissed off. I hate every item of clothing in my wardrobe and my hair looks like shit due to crappy, rainy weather. 

Needless to say tensions were running pretty high already. 

And then it was time to put Jesse’s shoes on. Now that he’s walking we need to put shoes on him more often and I thought, given the weather, his cute little work boots that he hasnt worn yet would be perfect. 

I checked the size against his foot and am satisfied that they will be a perfect fit for him now as previously they have been too big. 

I sat him on my lap and began squishing his foot into the first boot. After a bit of a struggle, pushing, pulling and wriggling I finally managed to get it on. I exhaled with relief and exhaustion. But it was short lived as I picked up the next one, took a deep breath and prepared to do it all again for the other foot. 

After a few minutes of more pushing and pulling I was still no closer to getting the bastard shoe on. I expressed my frustration with a few expletives and Kaine came to my rescue. 

Well, he has even less patience than I do and soon things are getting very heated. I wouldn’t have wanted to be that shoe that is for sure. Beads of sweat are gathering on his brow as he forcefully tries to squeeze Jesse’s foot into the boot. 

And then Kaine slams said shoe onto the bench, rips off the other one and throws them both down the hallway and into Jesse’s room.


Meanwhile, this whole time Jesse has been relatively accommodating and wondering what all the fuss is about. 

We throw some slip on shoes into his bag and pile into the car, both still fuming. 

It would have been absolutely hilarious to witness all of this going on. So any flies on our walls, we hope you enjoyed the show. 

But here’s a neat idea for a business. Design some kids shoes that you can actually get on the kids feet!

DIY Dad

So this weekend I put some shelves up in the office!

That’s right… Just call me DIY Dad!

I… Put up shelves… All by myself… I mean, just have a look at them! They look AMAZING!!!

For those who are wondering why I’m making such a big deal about this, it’s because I’m not exactly what you’d call, a handy man. As far as fixing things or doing work on and around the house, I’m actually pretty useless.

So useless in fact, that I usually have to call my mum… Yes, my mum to come and help me. Why mum? Well that’s because my dad is about as useless as I am when it comes to using tools.

To give you some perspective, my collection of tools consists of a hammer, a hand-me-down drill with no drill bits, one wrench, a half set of screwdrivers (cause I may have lost one or two over the years), and a collection of allen keys that I’ve got from various furniture we’ve bought over the years!

Yup, that’s right, I’m not your typical hands on dad when it comes to this sort of stuff.

But with all that said and done, after a little guidance (thanks mum) I managed to put up our new office shelves ALL BY MYSELF!!!

And that, my friends, is why you can now call me DIY Dad… At least until the next time I need to fix something and I’ll probably call mum again.

But for now, I’m going to revel in my handiwork!

Disaster Chef

I’m a big fan of food. But cooking, not so much. I don’t enjoy it, I’m generally not very good at it and it’s just not my thing (although I do have an award-winning spaghetti in my repertoire).

But I found myself with some overripe bananas today and decided to ‘whip up’ a banana bread. Normally, I would just pop them in the freezer with the intention that I will (eventually, maybe) make banana bread one day. But, given my freezer is already overflowing with said bananas, I decided to actually do it this time.

A homemade banana bread. Seems easy enough right?

I dig out the dry ingredients from the cupboard. Hmmm… Not sure how old this flour is. It’s not moving so must be fine. It’s gonna be sifted anyway. In it goes.

Crap. Recipe calls for brown sugar and I’ve started measuring out my raw sugar. It’s brown…ish. Google seems to think they can be substituted so I go with it. Okay, going well so far. Time for the wet ingredients.

I create the well as instructed and proceed to pour in the milk, eggs etc. Crap! I missed the bit where I was supposed to mix all the wet ingredients and bananas together before combining with dry ingredients.

Oh well, it all ends up in there together eventually. It will be fine.

Melted butter. Crap! I don’t have butter. Just some sort of margarine imposter spread. I really should read the recipe better! In it goes.

Now all that’s left to do is to hope my dodgy oven doesn’t burn it to smithereens.

Oh dear. Looks like disaster chef strikes again. Normally I would throw it out and hide all evidence of my failed endeavour but it’s just too hilarious not to share.

Surprisingly, it doesn’t taste too bad. Just looks ugly AF.

So now I’m left with really ugly food and a sink full of dirty dishes. And I’m reminded why I don’t cook!

When is the perfect time?

So as you would have seen from our ‘Photo Friday’ post two days ago, there is a new addition to the extended Barton family. Little Flynn. My brother and sister-in-law’s second child.

And with that comes new conversations with family members and work colleagues. Well, not new for Renee and I, because its a conversation we’ve been having for a while now. But no one else knows that.

The hot topic of conversation… when Renee and I are planning on having a second baby. It never ends does it!

“When are you getting married?”

“When are you having a baby?”

“When are you having another baby?”

Over the past few days since Flynn’s birth, we’ve been advised on the benefits of having kids close together; we’ve been reminded about our ‘age’ and how the ‘clock’ is ticking (as if we didn’t know); and I’ve been told by someone that she is very keen to be an Aunty again! About as subtle as a gun don’t you think!

But what everyone doesn’t realise, is that we are already all over this.

The conversation about when we should have more kids, and how many kids at that, is a conversation that Renee and I frequently have. As do probably all first time parents. But funnily enough, even though we do talk about it regularly, I feel like we aren’t really any closer to coming to an agreement on both questions. Particularly how many children to have.

I am set on two. We won’t be outnumbered, and wherever you go, family passes are always for two adults and two children. Perfect! But Renee is still trying to talk me into three. She’s pretty adamant she will win this argument too! I think just recently she even said something along the lines of, “Oh we’re having three kids” in that kind of tone where you realise you don’t have any say in the matter.

So back on the topic of when we should have bubba number two! Well, while both Renee and I come from families of three kids, our family dynamics are quite different. Renee, her brother and her sister are all around 5 years apart, whereas me, my brother and my sister are all quite close at around 1-2 years apart.

And look, I really can see the pros and cons at doing it either way. Which timeline is best for us… I still don’t know at this stage. Though we don’t really have age on our side to consider the five years apart option.

Are we ready or a second baby? I don’t know… But is anyone ever truly ready for a second baby? Is there even such a thing as the perfect time?

I still feel like I’m learning to be a parent to Jesse. I still feel like I am yet to truly find my feet as a dad, where I can go out and confidently say, ‘yes, I have got this!’

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Though I’m not sure if a parent ever gets to that point.

But then you have the people that go, the second one is easy! The first born is always the hardest. It gets easier with each baby you have. Really? Does it? It seems like it’d just be Jesse x 2… and just Jesse by himself can sometime be a little overwhelming. Maybe its actually a matter of the parent getting more relaxed rather than the subsequent babies getting easier.

So the question is, is it time to jump into the deep end and try for baby number two? Or do we revel in the delight of our only child for a little bit longer?

Guess I better go find Renee so we can start the conversation again…

 

 

Footage Friday: Making Bath Time Fun

So Jesse loves bath time!

Whenever he hears the bath filling up, he heads straight to the bathroom to watch the water spurting out of the tap and to wait until he gets to hop in.

In fact, he has always seemed to enjoy his baths, even when he was a little baby.

But what he loves more than just regular bath time… is bath time with Aunty Lia.

Yup, LOVES IT!!!

As you can see in this video, Jesse and Aunty Lia have a lot of fun at bath time. And then mummy and daddy have a lot of fun mopping up the water from all over the bathroom when bath time has finished.

Footage Friday: Who is Jesse’s favourite?

So… One of the long running discussions in our household has been who is Jesse’s favourite? Mum or Dad?

Well, we may have finally gotten to the bottom of it with Jesse telling Renee first hand, who he thinks the best parent is!!!

HOW YOU LIKE THEM APPLES MUMMY!!! I guess we can call this competition… GAME OVER!!!! Oh hang on, how does the score stack up… well lets see…

Dad: 1
Mum: 0

BOOM!!!

I’m taking this s*** to a higher level Mummy. Come and join me up here. The view is great! Time to step up your game!

When parents argue…

Couples argue. Couples fight. Couples don’t always see eye to eye. It really is just part of normal life when you’re in a relationship with someone.

Despite the fact that this blog is generally pretty positive (which is a conscious decision, as we think there is enough negativity out there already), we also have our own arguments and fights every now and again. And it has only been recently that I have come to notice something quite funny about the arguments and fights we have been having of late.

It has come as a bit of a revelation to me to discover that the subject of our arguments has changed. Where we once argued about everything from how to wash the clothes properly to money (yes, some of our arguments were that petty, but that said, aren’t all arguments???), we know exclusively argue about one thing…

JESSE!

It’s pretty funny when I think about it now. But all our fights are centred around Jesse and how we care and raise him. Hey, at least the dirty laundry gets a break from our sparring tongues.

And look, at the end of the day, we always kiss and have make up se… I mean kiss and make up. And at the time of the argument, it always feels like it’s about important issues that will shape the future of our family. But when the dust settles, we can usually sit back and laugh at just how ridiculous the fight was!

So what are some of the fights about I hear you ask. Well, you know, earth shattering stuff honestly. Here are some of the arguments we’ve had that I can recall us laughing about at a later date:

1. OMG… I THINK JESSE MAY HAVE SWALLOWED A CAT CLAW AND I THINK HE IS GOING TO DIE!!! While he did actually have the claw in his mouth, he didn’t end up swallowing it. And he obviously didn’t die. And after a phone call to 13 Health and being told she was an idiot for calling, Renee constantly likes to bring up that she was right and I was wrong.

2. DID JESSE JUST FALL OFF OUR BED? WHY WERE’NT YOU WATCHING HIM??? OMG, HE IS GOING TO DIE!!! He did actually fall out of bed. Renee felt really awful about it too. But alas, he survived through this one also. And apparently, babies falling out of beds is more common than I realised.

3. IS HE ALLOWED TO EAT THAT? IS THAT TOO BIG FOR HIM TO EAT? IS IT COOKED PROPERLY? IS IT COOL ENOUGH? IS IT TOO HOT? BECAUSE HE MIGHT DIE!!! Yes I tend to worry too much about silly things like this. But yes, Renee’s cooking is also that bad…

4. GOD… HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING TO LET HIM CRY FOR… JUST GIVE HIM SOME NUROFEN ALREADY!!! I did have to apologise for this one. In my defence, I had a late night and was really tired and I had to work the next day. Hey, I never said it was a good defence.

5. WHY ISN’T HE WALKING YET? WHY ISN’T HE TALKING YET? ARE WE DOING ENOUGH WITH HIM? DO WE NEED TO READ MORE? DO WE NEED TO PLAY MORE? IS HE DYING??? He isn’t dying. He is doing just fine. He has only just turned 1! Every baby is different!!!

So we are just like everyone else… we argue… we fight… maybe not about the same things we used to… But, we are just like everyone else out there.

And like I said, at the end of the day, we always come to realise that in this new adventure we’re on called parenting, we are doing just fine. We aren’t perfect parents. But then again, no-one is. But the way our little family is developing is just perfect.

So the next time you and your partner get into a fight about how you’re raising your kids… just remember that you’re probably not the first and you definitely won’t be the last parents to fight about exactly the same thing.

And just remember to forgive each other, so you can one day look back on those arguments and laugh. I know I sure will.

We all have a little OCD in us…

Writing regular blog posts can be a hard ask. Especially when you set yourself a task to publish 3 a week. And while we haven’t hit that mark every week we have, for the most part, done pretty well.

So when thinking about what I could write about for my post today, I really had to get my thinking cap on to come up with something interesting.

But… after catching myself in the act yet again, I found the perfect subject for today’s post. And not only that, I feel like today’s post is about a subject that a lot of people out there (if not everyone) might not just relate to, but get a bit of a laugh out of it.

So what in the hell is this long introduction leading up to? Well… as you may have already guessed by the title, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) of course.

As a quick side note, please let me state up front that I know OCD can be a serious and debilitating condition. This post is in no way intended to undermine that fact, and is also not intended to cause offence or stress to those who do genuinely suffer from this condition.

With that said, let’s face it, us humans are a funny species. We all have our little quirks and idiosyncrasies and quite often, they allow us every now and again to laugh at each other, laugh at ourselves and laugh at the strange things we do.

And I am no exception.

I think that almost everyone out there, has a little OCD in them. What might start out as making sure the blinds on all the office windows are level can sometimes turn into where you can’t have the volume in your car on an odd number. Oh, and yes, I know about these quirks because they both relate to me.

But we all have our little quirks, don’t we. So I figured hey, why not share mine for a laugh. Maybe someone else out there can relate and maybe this post will make them feel like less of a weirdo. Because at the end of the day, you’re not a weirdo. You are pretty much exactly the same as the rest of us.

So what are my bad OCD habits? Well, here are the ones that I catch myself doing on a regular basis:

The blinds in the office

When I mentioned the blinds in the office, I wasn’t kidding. This is exactly one of my OCD things that annoys the absolute piss out of me. If you have horizontal blinds in the office, whether you have them raised or lowered, they all MUST be falling at the same height.

If they are not, then you can be guaranteed that I’ll get up and fix this abomination.

And to those in the office who change the heights just to f*** with me, you will feel my wrath! The wrath of a man who is enraged with ‘inconsistent horizontal blind height anger’. Don’t worry, it’s a real thing… I promise!

The volume level on devices that use numbers

Yup, again, like I said earlier, one of my things is the volume level. That said, I think this one may be more common than I think. But when turning the volume up or down on any device from the car radio to the TV, it has to be set to an even number, or in fives. That’s right. It can’t be set at any number that ends in a 1, 3, 7 or 9.

Want the volume set to 22. No worries.

What about 14. Yup, good as gold mate.

35. Perfect. No issues here.

19… OH HELL NO!!! You better change that to 20 or 18 quick smart or I’m going to lose my sh*t!

Brushing my teeth

Now this one I feel is going to be odd to many out there. But when I brush my teeth, I have to brush each section the same number of times.

I don’t know why… I don’t know how it started… All I know is, if I brush my back left molars 8 times and then accidentally brush my back right molars 9 times… bugger… It’s back to square one.

Let me clarify, I usually don’t count the strokes per se, but I do hum the same tune for each section of my teeth that I brush. It’s the same thing right?

Clean floors

Ok. So I can admit that my level of OCD’ness has somewhat diminished when it comes to clean floors since Jesse came along. But it’s still there, and dirty floors still annoy me.

In the past, I could not stand dirty floors. If I was walking through the house and I felt even the tiniest speck of dirt then look out. The brooms were activated. The vacuum was out. The mops were loaded. And the floor would be buffed to perfection.

Since Jesse has come into our lives, our floor is in a constant state of uncleanliness that I have had to learn to respect. It is near impossible to keep your floors clean when you have an 11 month old baby crawling around the house. And then there’s dinner time… Ahh dinner time… The once civilised activity where we used to eat our meals has turned into what Jesse thinks is a fun game of ‘let’s throw every little skerrick of food to floor for no other reason than I just don’t want it on the table in front of me.

I am lucky I have come to terms with my dirty floors, because the old me would have thrown the brooms and mops in the air and shouted “F*** THIS SH*T… I’M OUT!”

Morning routine

Ok… Now I know this one isn’t strange, but it still shows that little part of my that is OCD.

Every morning when I get up for work, I do everything in the exact same order. That’s right, I have a morning routine and I stick to it every… single… day… (Well, work days that is).

I can recite my whole routine and can guarantee that each morning, I do not break it. It goes like this: Wake up, toilet, eat breakfast, take vitamins, brush teeth, wash face, put deodorant on, put pants on, put socks and shoes on, do hair, put singlet and shirt on, belt on, aftershave on, watch on, pack lunch, pack bag, leave.

Now not everyone will be that OCD with their morning routine. But I’m not ashamed by it at all. In fact, I’ve read a couple of articles that suggest having a morning routing that you stick to like the one I have is actually beneficial, as it frees your mind to think about other things you need to accomplish rather than thinking about what you need to do as your getting ready. So the jokes on you… you who doesn’t have a morning routine.

Anyways… So that’s about it… Those are my (or some of my) idiosyncrasies that I have a laugh about with others every now and again. Like I said, we all have them, so why not just have a laugh and accept the fact that we do all have a little OCD in us.

So with that I ask you… What about you? What are your OCD quirks? What do you do that you think is strange but in actual fact might be quite common?

Let’s share and all have a laugh together about the fact that we all, are a little bit weird!