DATE: Friday, 19 June 2015

TIME: 10:30am

THE MISSION: Leave the house (successfully) for the whole day with Jesse.

MISSION OUTCOME: SUCCESS!!!!

That was literally how it felt on Friday. It felt like we were planning a highly important military operation that needed to be carried out with precision and accuracy (yes I know those mean the same thing). Like it was almost going to be the difference between life and death if we got the planning, execution or any tiny detail of ‘Operation Escape the House for the Day’ wrong.

But… We survived.

What did we do? Well, we escaped to where every other expectant or new mothers, fathers and grandparents were going to be. At the Brisbane Pregnancy, Babies and Children’s Expo.

We packed the nappy bag, bundled Jesse into his carrier and loaded the car in preparation for the day trip to baby central (the Expo). As we drove out of the garage and down the driveway, I turned to Renee and said “Are you sure we have everything?”

“YES! It’ll be fine.” She responded.

Ok great, so I should just ignore this feeling of dread that’s washing over me in waves right now?

We pull into the carpark of the Brisbane Convention and Exhibition Centre and find a car space relatively easily. We grab Jesse and his carrier, load the pram up and start toward the Expo.

As we poke our heads through the doors, all I can see is prams, babies and pregnant women everywhere. There is no order, there is no structure, there’s just prams and kids and people going in every direction. Its absolute chaos, like sperm swimming around trying to find their way to the ultimate prize, which is ironic considering that’s how everyone in the hall got into this mess in the first place.

First port of call, food for us. The café is down the back of the hall. Ok let’s do this.

WATCH OUT FOR THAT PRAM!

Stop, rogue child.

Quick, let’s make a break, there’s no one in front.

No wait, another pram, hard right… HARD RIGHT!

Ok, let’s try left.

Nope, left is no good. I repeat, left is no good.

We need to make a U turn. Checking left, checking right, GO.

Ok, we made it!

After refuelling, we were ready play dodgem cars with the other prams and headed out to look at the stalls. Who knew babies needed so much stuff! Or do they?

There were the typical stalls you would expect to see at a pregnancy and baby expo like newborn photographers, prams and prams and more prams and popular brands like Curash, S-26 and Phillips Avent. There was also this great stall full of Rugby League onesies including a Brisbane Broncos and Queensland Marrons onesies. We managed to resist the temptation.

However, what really caught our attention was all the weird gadgets, contraptions and furniture on offer. Like the stall offering a devise for parents to suck snot out of their babies noses. Or the stall that had the ‘Baby Shoosher’, which was essentially a plastic speaker that repeatedly played a ‘ssssshhhhhh’ sound over and over again. How much is it? REALLY?

Then there were the stalls with furniture for babies that looked like it had come straight of the set of ‘The Jetsons’. I don’t think interior decorating has quite embraced the space age look just yet.

Before anyone gets upset and claims that the Baby Shoosher is the greatest thing since sliced bread, I have written this in jest. By all accounts the stall offering the Baby Shoosher did claim it had an 80% success rate, although I’m sure parents making the ‘ssssshhhhh’ sounds themselves would have a similar effect.

At the end of the day, we did manage to escape the Expo unscathed without spending too much money. The only purchase we made on the day was a nappy (diaper) disposal bin for Jesse’s nursery. Some of you might claim that this is also not really needed, and you’re probably right. But we like it for the convenience factor.

It actually was a pretty great day and the perfect way to spend our first full day out of the house. Mixing with other parents and expectant mothers.

I have a feeling that I will probably be less stressed the next time we prepare for a full day out of the house.